A High School Musical fanfiction
by
GimmeABeat

Chapter 19: Labor Woes

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.

Sharpay's face relaxed and she seemed to come out of her pain-induced stupor just as Troy was rolling the wheelchair through the Emergency Room doors.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Where are you going? Stop this thing right now. We've got to go back and do the video bonus question."

"Ha, ha... very funny, Shar." Troy rolled her up to the admissions window and stopped.

"I'm not kidding. Why did you take me out of the taxi? We weren't finished."

"Maybe it was because you told me to. You said you couldn't do the gameshow anymore, so we quit."

"Quit? Where the hell was I during all this?" She was livid.

"Oh I'm not sure, Sharpay", Troy snapped back at her. "Maybe you were the one writhing in pain and pleading with me to quit." His tone with her was very brusque and a far cry from the unending patience he normally exhibited.

"I did not!"

The admissions nurse was tired of watching these two argue. "Excuse me; this is the Emergency Room, so if there's no..."

Troy interrupted her. "My girlfriend needs to be admitted."

"No, I don't", Sharpay insisted from her position in the chair, but she was already beginning to feel that tell-tale tightening in her abdomen, signaling the start of another contraction.

Troy continued as if she hadn't said anything. "She's in transition labor and her contractions are about a minute apart."

Sharpay also continued as if Troy hadn't said anything at all about labor; although she was secretly impressed that he had been paying attention during their childbirth class. "What I need is to be back in that cab watching the video bonus question."

This statement caught the nurse's attention. "Video bonus? Were you on the Cash Cab? That's so exciting. How'd you do?"

She addressed the question to Troy who looked like he wasn't able to follow both conversations --- one where he was trying to admit Sharpay into the hospital and the other where they was discussing the joys of appearing on a TV game show.

"I … uh."

Ryan picked that well-timed moment to arrive, breathing hard and flashing a stack of cash in their direction. "Hey, Ben Bailey forgot to give you the money, so here it is … $1,050." Ryan smiled wryly. "Not bad for a free cab ride, but why didn't you stay for the bonus question? You could have doubled this", waving the money around wildly.

"You people are crazy!", Troy ranted at Ryan and Sharpay. "She's about to give birth and you all want to go on a game show!"

"You're already pre-admitted", the admissions nurse told him as the shoved a clipboard in his direction. "... so just sign here and you can go straight into one of our birthing suites. Did you take the tour?" She asked Sharpay, referring to the tour arranged by their childbirth class instructor a few months ago.

Sharpay was deep in the throes of another contraction and didn't respond. Troy didn't look up from signing the documents, but answered anyway, "Yes, we came a couple of months ago. It's very nice, but it doesn't seem like we're going to be in there very long."

"Usually, first-time parents come here too early", the nurse commented as she studied Sharpay dispassionately while the younger woman sat withering in pain. "But it looks like you almost didn't make it. Do you feel the need to push yet, honey?"

"Gggrrrr! I've felt like pushing for the last twenty contractions", Sharpay barely managed to bite out.

Ryan grabbed Troy's arm and pulled him over away from Sharpay. "Okay... so I've got the guy to do the ceremony."

"Is he a Rabbi?", Troy asked quickly.

"Huh?"

"Did you get a Rabbi?", Troy asked more slowly.

"Noooo, did you want a Rabbi? Are you observant?", Ryan looked even more confused than was his norm.

"Am I what?" Now it was Troy's turn to look confused. While he had always considered himself attentive, Troy wasn't sure why Ryan was bringing that up now.

"Are you an observant Jew? Just to let you know, we aren't. Our mother is Jewish and we did the whole Bar / Bat Mitzvah thing, but that was really just to get all the gifts, but don't tell Mom, okay?"

"What are you talking abo..." Troy looked up to see an orderly wheeling Sharpay down the hall. "I've got to go. Just find us in one of the birthing suite, but come in alone. I haven't even asked her yet."

"What?! Why not? What were you doing all this time?"

Troy called over his shoulder as he ran down the hallway, "Just watch it on TV, Ryan."

The elevator doors shut just as Troy reached them. However he quickly found the stairs and the birthing floor and was able to meet up with Sharpay and the orderly as they went into the suite. It was pretty tense for a few minutes as the labor nurse helped Sharpay change into a hospital gown and then get into the bed. All the wires and monitors connected to her made Troy feel a little queasy.

"Oh my...", the nurse commented as she checked Sharpay's progress by performing a quick pelvic examination. "You're fully dilated. I'll go get the doctor."

"Wow, I guess this is it...", Troy started hesitantly as he stood beside the bed and held her hand.

She looked up at him with her chocolate brown eyes swimming in unshed tears. "I'm afraid, Troy. That's what I was talking about in the taxi. I don't want to play this mommy game anymore. That's the game I want to quit. No kid deserves to have a mom like me. I'm irritable; I'm neurotic; I'm impossible; I'm arrogant...stop me anytime, will ya?"

Troy chuckled and leaned over to kiss her forehead. "You are irritable, neurotic, impossible, and arrogant", he chanced a glimpse of her glaring at him through those beautiful brown eyes. "... but in a good way. You'll be a great mom, Sharpay. Remember this is new for me too. We'll learn together."

He pushed her hair behind her ears and leaned his cheek against hers.

"Hey, before anything else happens... I have something I need to ask you."

Hearing the seriousness in his tone, she nodded for him to continue.

Troy took a deep breath. "I love you. Although, I liked you way before I loved you." Sharpay squinted up at him suspiciously and he quickly amended. "That's a good thing, Shar. I think all relationships should be built on friendship first. Granted... we kind of fell into this whole relationship backwards, but we did build it on a strong foundation of friendship first."

She seemed to zone out and he stopped talking, thinking that he was approaching this the wrong way.

"No, don't stop talking … just speed it up some. I don't have much time here."

"O-okay... I had this all planned out for tonight … I mean before you went into labor, then everything just went crazy." Sharpay squeezed her eyes shut and Troy started talking faster. "Okay, so here's the deal... I love you and you love me so let's get married."

Her eyes flew open just as the doctor and his staff walked into the room.

"I hear we have a baby who's in a bit of a hurry tonight", an older man in scrubs announced as he waltzed into the room. He went immediately to the end of the bed and started his examination.

"What?", Sharpay asked Troy.

"Will you marry me?", he asked again.

The doctor looked up at them from his position between Sharpay's legs. "Ordinarily, I'd leave and give you two some privacy, but under the circumstances, I don't think we have time for that."

"Troy, I-I I don't want to get married. I told you that. I thought you understood."

"Well, yeah. Ya did, but then there was all that stuff about Martha and Ja..."

"I'm not Martha; you're not Jason. We don't have to do something just because other people are doing it. I love you, Troy, but I'm not ready for marriage." She looked down at the doctor who was doing some very unpleasant things to her under a blue sheet. "Not now."

Troy wasn't giving up so easily. "Does that mean you might be ready at a later date?"

Despite the circumstances and the escalating pain which was threatening to become unbearable at any second now, Sharpay smiled. He was so sweet. "I might be", she finally replied.

"Really?", his eyes lit up. "Because I got you a ring." He quickly reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box.

The tears in her eyes this time were from joy, not physical anguish and Sharpay suddenly realized how quiet the room had become. She looked down to see the entire birthing staff: a doctor and two nurses ardently studying the two of them.

She smiled back at Troy. "First let's get something straight. I want a big wedding with lots of appropriately expensive gifts."

"Of course", Troy agreed as a huge grin started to spread across his face.

"Then I'd be honored to wear your ring, but...", she added with an embarrassed shrug, "my finger is too fat right now."

"I-I thought about that, so I put it on a chain." Troy pulled a diamond solitaire ring out of the box with a gold chain threaded through it. He carefully slipped it over her neck just as she gasped out in pain.

"Congratulations on the engagement", the doctor said as he carefully probed around under the sheet. "Now that that's settled, it's time to get down to business. On the next contraction, push for all your worth."

ΞΞΞΞΞΞΞ

Ryan pulled the door shut and turned toward to a tall, thin man wearing a turtle neck sweater and a purple knit cap on his head. Because of the short notice he'd received, Ryan decided to use the hospital's chaplain and he couldn't have been more surprised to find that he actually knew this guy.

"Sorry, Luke. Look's like the wedding's off."

In a slow, monotone voice, Luke replied, "That's a shame, Ryan. This would have been my first wedding. You don't really get many calls for weddings here in the hospital."

The two of them turned and starting walking down the hall, away from the birthing room and the screaming sounds of Sharpay Evans.

"Tell me again. How did you become a minister?"

"Well, after high school, Moonbeam and me... we just drifted around a lot. You remember Moonbeam? She was my girlfriend --- she looked just like me … 'cept she's a girl. Anyway, we drifted around … not settling in any one place for more than a week and that was fine, but then I received a message."

"A calling from God?", Ryan guessed.

"What? No, a voicemail from Mrs. Darbus. She was checking up on me to see if I'd started seeing a counselor like she told me and Moonbeam to do back in high school. So that's what we did. It changed our lives. Moonbeam's a Certified Public Accountant now --- she broke up with me, of course, and that's when I decided to become an ordained minister in the Universal Life Church."

"Universal Life Church? I've never heard of it."

"It's online, man. Instant online ordination for only $25. It's great! I fill out this online form; they send me an Ordination Credential and I'm good to go. It's very empowering … and to think I owe it all to the high school drama department. If I hadn't auditioned for that school play, none of this would have ever happened."

"Let me buy you a cup of coffee", Ryan offered. It was the least he could do for dragging the guy out in the middle of the night.

"I can't, man. I've sworn off caffeine. How about a beer, instead?"

"Sure, let's go. First babies take ages... I should know", Ryan stated with great authority. "Did you know that I'm a father?"

ΞΞΞΞΞΞΞ

"Oh, my poor baby... Will he be alright?", Sharpay asked with anxiety in her voice. She was still lying on the bed, completely exhausted, but consumed by worry.

The nurse raised her eyes from her newest patient and met Sharpay's eyes. "He's going to be just fine. Two or three stitches … at the most."

"Stitches?" Sharpay shifted her position to try and get a better look.

"That's right", the doctor assured her. "You'd be surprised at how often this happens. There's nothing to worry yourself about right now. It's the delivery of the placenta that gets them every time. See, he's coming around now." The doctor looked over at the gurney as their newest patient, Troy Bolton, started regaining consciousness after fainting dead away at the sight of the afterbirth. "Now...", continued the doctor to Sharpay, "I have one more question I need to ask: Would you like to keep the placenta?"

Sharpay's face wrinkled up in distaste. "No thank you."

Having been born and raised in the southwest, she knew that certain American Indians believed in planting the placenta under a tree and she remembered that Tom Cruise claimed he was going to eat the placenta of his baby with Katie Holmes, but she never heard what happened with that. But, please... why the hell was the doctor asking them this? Movement to her left brought Sharpay's attention back to Troy who was, indeed, waking up. Unfortunately, he must have heard the doctor's question because he went white as a sheet and passed out again.

Before she could even think of rolling her eyes, a smiling nurse approached her, carrying a tightly wrapped bundle.

"She's all cleaned up and ready to meet her mommy", the nurse cooed.

She gently placed the baby in Sharpay's arms and took a step back.

"Oh God, she's so beautiful." And she really was, Sharpay thought. She had seen other newborn babies and very often their heads were misshapen or their skin was a strange shade of yellow, but her baby girl was perfect. Her skin was a rosy pink and she had little curly wisps of blonde hair on her beautiful little head. The baby stared silently at Sharpay with big, slightly unfocused dark blue eyes. She seemed to be study Sharpay as intently as she was being studied.

Her baby girl.

Now if her 'baby daddy' would just stay conscious long enough to meet his daughter...

TBC

Author's Notes:

The Universal Life Church is real!!! And you can become an ordained minister for free, but you have to pay $25 for it to be legal in NYC.

I already did the whole birth thing in my story, Unlove You, and I decided I could never top that one, so there's not as much detail here about the actual birth itself.

Special shout-out to HeSaidSheSaid. She said wouldn't it be funny if the doctor was from East High and my first thought was Martha as the doctor, but I'd already used her, so that's how 'Jake', the performance artist got in the story.

Oh, and I hope people aren't too mad, but one of my original ideas for this story was that they NOT get married. It's too cliché.

And Clotisy... you are psychic. I had already written the scene where Troy fainted before I read your review. I swear. Was anyone worried that it was the baby Sharpay was talking about at the beginning of that scene?

Okay, so you know I love to research stuff, so you've got to check out the stuff I learned about what people do with placentas.

Cultural Views of the Placenta

Navajo Indians

The umbilical cord and placenta are buried near home so the child will always return home. The placenta also was buried next to objects of the profession the parents hoped that the child would become. Sometimes it was given to the grandmother to discard.

Ghana

The placenta is buried near the family house so that the child will not grow wayward.

Guatemala

The baby's companion which is the placenta can be either burned or buried. If it is burned it is burned according to the time of day the child was born.

New Age Nut-Jobs

---The placenta teddybear... I kid you not. Check out this website, but be warned... there's a really gross picture of one of the bears.

inhabitots dot com/2009/10/01/doing-it-for-the-kids-design-exhibition-placenta-teddy-bear/

---Human placentophagy

Once again, I kid you not. There are people out there who eat their own placenta. Like Tom Cruise... well, technically, it's not his placenta, it was Katie's but even so...

Please reward me for all my hard and disturbing research by leaving a review.

Thanks