Happy November! (even though it's nearly halfway over)

Time for another chapter of Relentless! Please read, enjoy, and leave a review! I love your feedback! :D Let's get to it!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. They are property of (c) JKR. If I did, however, Snape would not have died.

"Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins."

- 1st Peter 4:8, English Standard Version

"So, you'll agree to it?"

"I believe I said 'I'll give it some thought'. Don't you listen, boy?" The Potions master shook his head. Reaching into his cloak, he withdrew his pack of cigarettes. Now that they were out on the castle grounds and away from the students, he knew it was alright to have one. Lighting one, he was about to press it to his lips when he realized Potter's eyes were on him. "Staring is rude." He stated pointedly.

"Sorry!" Potter protested perhaps a little too quickly, his cheeks tinted pink in embarrassment. "Just... Never knew you smoked."

"I did not get these teeth genetically." Severus elaborated before taking the cigarette between his lips and drawing a large drag of the cigarette. "At Minerva's request, I only smoke outside the castle walls and to keep the students safe from second-hand smoke."

"That's very considerate." The boy's tone wasn't as snippy or as sarcastic as his father's, but reflecting the genuine curiosity of his mother. "But sir... Ain't that bad for you?"

"Yes." Severus raised an eyebrow at Potter. "Sir? You are not a student anymore, Potter. Addressing me as such is inappropriate."

"Well, it feels odd not addressing you as 'sir'... You used to demand that the students call you that, remember? Especially Ron and I..."

Even the mention of the Weasley boy's name made the cigarette between Severus' lips taste bad. "You weren't the best of students." he stated plainly.

"You threatened him."

He wasn't talking of times when the weasel boy was a student, he realized. Severus wasn't surprised at this. He knew that this would come up in conversation eventually. His eyes flickered over at Potter who, in return, was looking back at him. "I did not threaten. Threaten is such a strong word." He couldn't help but smirk coldly at the memory of Ronald Weasley's face when he snapped his wand like a small twig between his fingers. "I merely gave him a strong suggestion that if he refused, he would be in pain and misery."

"Sir?"

"Yes. I threatened him. What is your point?"

"I just..." The young wizard shrugged his shoulders. "I dunno. Was it really necessary?"

"Perhaps not. But I do not recall having to answer to you, Mr. Potter."

"I'm not asking you as an Auror. I'm asking because Ron is like family to me and I wanna know why you broke his wand in such a harsh manner."

The man glanced at Potter fully, looking at him through his curtain of raven hair. He felt his smirk tug even more. "I broke Mr. Weasley's wand, Mr. Potter, because I felt like it. Was it necessary? No. But do I regret it? Hell no. I relished in the sight of Mr. Weasley's pitiful expression as I exposed his affair and snapped his precious wand."

"But why?" Potter persisted, his eyes becoming a little colder. Perhaps Potter did not enjoy such insults towards his friend, but it mattered little to the Potions master.

"Because he is an ass. Ronald Billius Weasley has always been and always will be an insignificant human being who treats others with little to no respect and with little regard." Without fully realizing, his tone became very clipped and his words dripped like venom from his lips. "He takes what he can from them and leaves behind what he feels is useless to him. He did not consider those that he might hurt. He was only thinking of what was in his pants. He considers himself wise and sneaky, so intelligent, that he could never be caught or apprehended for his secrets. This irritates me greatly as he did not even try to hide his affair from public eyes, going as far as to shagging his lover in a public place. He is thoughtless, inconsiderate, and all around, a complete arse. That, Mr. Potter, is why I snapped his wand."

Potter stared at him with a thoughtful expression, analyzing him with thoughtful eyes. "Sounds like you don't like him for very personal reasons, Mr. Snape." He stated confidently. His eyes twinkled.

"It would be a waste of time to evade, so yes. I did what I did because of personal reasons."

"Because of Hermione?" Potter asked in a light, hinting tone that made Severus' innards light up like fire.

"What are we, fourth-years?" He hissed at his former student. "I am not having this discussion with you."

"I'm not here for gossip, Mr. Snape. I'm not here to create drama or problems. I just want to make sure that you're going to ensure her happiness."

This statement caught Severus off guard. He wasn't expecting anything like this from the Potter boy. "What?"

"I care 'bout Hermione. She's like a sister to me and I love her very much. I don't wanna see her go through all the tears and the drama she had with Ron. I love Ron too, he's my best mate, but he doesn't know how to handle her or meet her needs. I want to see them both happy, even if they're not together. If you care about her in that way, then I'm happy for you. I just wanna make sure you're gonna take care of her."

Memories from an unpleasant time surfaced. Countless hours spent in his office, his wand pointed at Potter's face, using Legillimens over and over to teach the stubborn, lazy boy Occlumency. He recalled the hostility between them, as it was so thick and apparent one could sever it with a simple buttering knife. He remembered the way that the boy next to him used to glare at him during the lessons, shooting him daggers full of hatred and malice. Eyes that belonged to his mother and only fueled his fears...

"I don't understand..."

"Huh?"

"You should hate me. You should loathe the very idea of your Hermione and I together. I made your school years unbearable, on purpose, mind you. I went through extra measures to ensure that you didn't have marks for class and that you had extra homework constantly. Always making sure that you were going to fail, constantly ensuring that you were missing Quidditch practices. I hurt the people you loved... And yet, now you shake my hand and you hold me to some high level of respect that I did not earn and you have given me your blessing for Hermione? Forgive me for not understanding why you are doing these things."

"Sir... We both know that there is more to you than meets the eye. There's no need to pretend any longer. The memories you gave me years ago..." Severus stiffened at Potter's words. "I understand why you treated me the way you treated me. I do."

The Potion master's inside became hard and cold. He didn't want to discuss this. He did not want his memories - however pitiful and precious - to be talked about in open daylight with the person he hated for nearly eighteen years of his life.

"The past is the past." He told Potter, attempting to redirect the direction of the conversation. "I gave you those memories because I was on Death's doorstep. I entrusted you with them so that it gave you what you needed to defeat the Dark Lord. Now that time is passed and there is no need to discuss it."

"But I want to, sir." Potter persisted, his tone becoming a firm. "The memories you gave me... The things I saw and the things I heard. I may not understand you and your past completely, but I understand enough. You hated my father for the things he did to you - the way he treated you. You hated him for picking at you, hexing you, and showing you up. He gave you such a hard time in school..."

Severus' body turned around of it's own accord, his eyes facing the browning hills of the Hogwarts grounds. If he looked at the young man any longer, he would surely say something regretful.

"That's why you treated me so harshly. Isn't it, Professor?"

Tossing his cigarette onto the grass below him, he used the full force of his heel and smashed it into the earth. If he couldn't take it out on Potter, at least he could take it out on something small. "Among other reasons, yes. We were students - young men, driven by comparison - with a hatred that could not be extinguished. Much like you and Mr. Malfoy... Only much worse. I do not need to explain the feelings of disdain I abhorred for your father. Your father was everything that I said he was and more. Arrogant, cruel..." Feeling anxious, he stuck his hands in his pants pockets to stop fidgeting. "I had always known you would come to Hogwarts... I just did not know how to respond. Seeing you, an exact image of your father, sent off dark emotions inside of me that were hard to control..."

"Because you loved my mother."

He had known that this conversation would come. He knew that those very words would be spoken. But the impact of them being said aloud hit him so hard he lost his breath. His most treasured and beloved secret was exposed in public, outside of the castle walls, in the sunlight, slipped from Harry Potter's big mouth... And he wasn't at all ready for it. The last time these words were confessed to another, it was to Minerva in a concealed room where it wasn't possible for anyone else to hear such words.

His hands balled into fists in his pockets. The atmosphere between the him and the young wizard was becoming very stiff and his lungs were making it very hard to breathe. Fighting to keep his tone even, he spoke through clenched teeth. "What of it?"

"Because!" Potter's voice raised unexpectedly. "It's important! To you and to me!" The young wizard stepped into Severus' view, startling him, but he saw that Potter wasn't back down. "I may not have had a relationship with my mother, but you did! You were her best mate! You and her were inseparable, even as kids! You knew her!"

With a rigid spine and his eyes - so much like his mother's - filled with determination... He stood tall, almost his height, with broad shoulders and high, defined cheekbones. He didn't cower before him as he used to nor did he show any signs of hatred. And that's when Severus saw it for the first time: Harry Potter was no longer a boy. No longer was he a scrawny, helpless child who needed to be shielded from reality. Harry Potter was a man who had endured pain and sacrifice, as he had. Any answers he needed, he would give them to Potter... For his Lily.

With a reluctant sigh and a heavy heart, Severus gave in. "What do you want to know?"

"What was she like?"

"What?"

"I've heard from everybody what my Mum was like... Only... You were the closest person to her, save for my dad. You were the one that helped who realize who she was. You saw her grow up. You were the closest of friends. You were with her throughout your Hogwarts years, save the last one or two... You knew everything about her. I wanna know... What you thought of her... Why you loved her."

Severus had to swallow to keep his throat from tightening up. "This will be difficult for me..."

"I'll be happy with whatever you tell me, sir. I just want to know what she was in your eyes."

A soft breeze blew around the two wizards, causing the fallen leaves to dance around them at their feet. Even as they stood there, he could feel a sudden warmth surround him like an embrace. Taking in a shaky breath, his eyes fell upon the grounds in deep thought.

"She was - and still is - as real and as constant to me as the seasons that surround me. No matter what the weather or the condition, I see Lily in the earth around me. Every single aspect. Perhaps this is why I gather my ingredients in the outdoors... So, in some sort of way, I am closer to her."

His eyes wandered the grounds, where visions of he and Lily of all ages walked the hills and explored, smiling and laughing at each other. "I will put this into words that you will understand...

"She is the summer," he began quietly. "Her smile in the sunshine and the warmth that comes with it. Even when the clouds came, she is behind them, getting ready to peek out and bring out joy with her smile. She could walk whatever room and everyone around her would greet her, because she had that effect on others. When I first saw her, she was playing on the swings with her Muggle sister, she was smiling and laughing so freely. I was drawn to her even then... So magnetic and vivacious, your mother..."

Closing his eyes, he listened the scattering of the leaves at his shoes. "She is the autumn time - full of rest and of being renewed. Every moment I was with her, she was like a breath of fresh, crisp air. No matter what foul mood I was in, she would walk in and talk to me and everything would be alright with the world, just from her being with her. She could change everything in a single moment, with just a word, and change the very air. I would get so heated and angry at your father and I would go to say something and she would stop me with a single word, a single touch, and she calmed me..."

"She is the winter - the rooter of things to leave behind and things to cling to. When she and I parted ways, it was because she needed to do so for her benefit. Severing her relationship with me, as cold and as harsh as it was, was so that she could cling to what she knew would help her survive... I was hurting her and her relationship with me needed to die... Reflecting upon it now, I understand why she had done it, but it was the most painful experience I had ever felt." His heart hurting, he subconsciously clenched his heart.

"And... She is the spring. What has been frozen and possibly dead she has brought back to life anew. My love for her has grown strong and has molded me into new person with a new perspective. She had that ability, you understand, to change people. Because of her, I saw the error of my ways. Because of her... I served Dumbledore. Because of her, I spied on the Dark Lord. Because of her, I defended Hogwarts and all its students. Because of her... I protected you."

Feeling heavy with raw emotion, his eyes turned back to Potter, whose eyes had become full and big.

"As constant and everlasting as the seasons are, so is Lily to me. Everything I ever did in my life was for Lily. I longed to be with her, to be her friend and possibly more. I had desired her affections and her heart. I had lost her... I was disgusted at myself for it. I loathed every fiber of your father that he had taken her from me, but I had hated the Dark Lord even more for ending her life." He had to swallow again. "I grew to hate you because you were the son that should have been mine. Mine and Lily's... And instead, you were his. James' son. The man who had everything I did not. Including the love of my life..."

Potter had become so overwhelmed with emotion that he took off his glasses and pressed his hand to his eyes. His shoulders shook briefly and Severus wondered if perhaps he had taken it a step too far. All of this information may have been too much to bear for the man. Before he could say anything more, Potter spoke up.

"I feel sorry for you. Your life... None of it's fair."

"No. It's not. But because of my love for the Dark Arts and my willingness to join with those who also loved the Dark Arts, I lost her forever. It was no one else's fault but mine. It was my fault you do not have a mother or a father. It is my fault that you grew up in an abusive home by idiot Muggles. I understand if you hate me... I have already come to terms with the truth that I am a man who must simply live and die. This is my atonement for my sins... My curse."

Green, almond-shaped eyes met his. Although red and blotchy, he could see the sympathy in them. "I don't know my Mum personally..." He said softly. "But I know that she wouldn't want that for you. She wouldn't want you to be living with regret and misery. She may have cut you off, but I know that she wouldn't hurt you intentionally. She wouldn't want anything bad on you - only good."

"It's my fault that she and your father - the love of her life - had been killed... That you do not have parents. She knows I did not treat you well... Her anger is justified. This is why my life is not a complete one - a cursed one. But I have made my peace with the knowledge that I will never be fully happy."

An image of a smiling Hermione came to mind. The bond, which had been distant from his mind all day, made it's presence known at the thought of the young witch. The sensations in his body made it very clear of what the bond was feeling and thinking (it was truly difficult to think of the bond like a living being). He mentally berated himself for thinking of her at such a time.

"I know for certain that I don't deserve anything good in this world."

Potter was staring at him now, at first the expression was unreadable, but his eyebrows furrowed and the redness in his eyes faded quickly.

"You didn't know my mother at all."

Harry's words cut Severus deeply. He moved forward to speak, but Harry cut him off.

"It wasn't your fault that my parents were killed." his tone was sharp and unexpectedly distant. "It was Peter Pettigrew's and Voldemort's. You did what you could so that they could have been saved. You begged Dumbledore that he would protect them. And don't argue with me because I've seen your memories. I don't blame you for what happened and I sure as hell know that my mother doesn't blame you either. If you believe that she hated you and that she wanted you to have the worst life, you don't remember my mother. She may have cut you off but that doesn't mean that she hated you. My mother didn't hate anybody. My mother accepted people as they were and she loved them anyway. How else did she become your friend and accept you? How else did she marry my dad? How... How else could she have saved me from the Killing Curse? If her heart wasn't pure and her love wasn't true, it wouldn't have saved me!"

Severus' mind went blank. He couldn't process any new thoughts or emotions. All he could do was stand there in shock at the young, spiky-haired man.

"I dunno what skeletons you have in your closet, sir, but if you believe that my mother hated you... You're believing a lie! And if you truly believe that the woman you love - your Lily Evans - was capable of that kind of evil, then you have no idea who she was and you insult her memory by thinking so lowly of her!"

Harry's words hit him like a brick wall. Or perhaps that was just him purposefully hitting his shoulder as he walked past him and back into the castle.

He heard a pause in the crunching of leaves. Potter had stopped walking.

"You may not think that you deserve happiness, Professor..." His temper diminished, but the firmness in his tone did not leave. "But I see the way you look at Hermione and the way she looks back at you... And I dunno if you see it, but I see nothing but happiness there. If you think that you're not meant to be happy, you're wrong. Because I think you deserve all the happiness in the world. I think you deserve to love someone and know how it feels to be loved in return. And... I think you deserve Hermione's heart. You could be happy with her, y'know. I know she's happy with you."

Conflicting feelings made it difficult for the wizard to think clearly.

He would always treasure his Lily Evans. She was his first friend. She had spent her days with him, smiling and laughing, bringing a light into his life he never had before. She was his first love who had always made him tow the mark. She had shown him the light, made known the error of his ways, and convicted him so greatly that he changed his life. Her smile and her laughter would always be imprinted in his mind.

And yet...

Now Hermione Granger, who seemed like just a student yesterday, was already playing such a major role in his life. Like Lily, she had accepted his flaws and welcomed him into her life with open arms. Even with her fiery temper and her emotional waves, he longed for her company. There were even times when he was with her that he would forget who he was and why he was around her to begin with, that his initial plan was to use her and manipulate her to be free of the bond... And now, he only longed for her companionship.

Very real and very lingering emotions for two women he cared deeply about were tugging him in two different directions. Lily was on his right, holding onto his hand and leaning towards the past. Hermione, on his left, was tugging him towards his future. With such conflicted feelings of confusion and remorse, he couldn't look Potter in the eye.

"It really does not matter what you think I deserve... I am a sinful man whose entire life is made up of mistakes and regrets. I am fortunate enough to know Hermione Granger and to be her friend... I am content enough being by her side, seeing her smile. But any closer... Like your mother, I will bring Hermione to ruin. It will be in the best interest if Hermione and I did not have such a relationship..."

"So... You admit it, then. You do have some sort of feelings for her?"

"I would be foolish to deny it. However, that does not erase what I've done in the past. Hermione deserves far better than what someone like me can give her... I am a broken, old man who really should have died years ago. My time was up and yet I was saved by her. Although I am grateful for the second chance at life, my life will play an empty existence until my final day arrives. Until then, I would be content being by Hermione's side, being her friend and companion."

There was a pause between the two men.

"Yeah..." Potter's voice came finally. "Keep tellin' yourself that. You're only lying to yourself."

The force of Potter's words were more powerful than any curse or any hex he had ever received. The man stood still as stone, nothing around him gave him the will to move. Not the wind at his back, the leaves scattering about at his boots, or the lone, single tear trailing down his cheek.

One hour.

One full hour had gone by and neither of the wizards had returned to Hermione's quarters just yet.

The wait was just as unnerving as it was terrifying. Just what on earth were those two talking about? Even though Harry had gone through great measures to be kind and respectful to his former teacher, Severus was not as accommodating as Harry was. That partially frightened the witch. Were they arguing? Was Harry lecturing Severus over threatening Ronald? Were they discussing the remaining escaped Death Eaters? Was something amiss? The countless questions chased each other around in circles until she had a headache. Only time would be able to tell at this point. The best she could do was wait for Severus to return... If he were to return at all.

That being said...

Would he even want to return? Did he have a reason to, after all? They shared a very private and very tender moment before they were interrupted. Was he going to return and pick up where they left of or would he move on and pretend it never happened? The thought was almost painful to her. She couldn't just move on and pretend that nothing had at all occurred between the two of them, especially not after the information Ginny had just revealed to her.

If he had done that for her...

"Soooo..."

Hermione felt such a spike of irritation that she stomped her foot on the wooden floor. "Ginny, for the last time, Severus and I have not SHAGGED or SNOGGED! And if you continue to pester me with these repetitive, obnoxious questions, I swear, I won't hesitate to kick you out!"

Ginny tossed her red hair back and blew a raspberry at Hermione, not in the least intimidated by Hermione's lame threat. "Boooo!" Ginny booed her loudly and pouted her lower lip. "Come on! You two must have done something worth talking about! Come on! Juicy details!"

"Oh, please." Hermione sighed, feeling exhausted. "Stop, before I die of embarrassment. And put those puppy-eyes away. They won't work on me." An ache was starting to set in the Charm professor's temples. "How did George find out?"

Ginny's eyes met hers. "Huh?"

"How did George find out about this whole situation? Did he intimidate Ron into telling the truth?"

"You've been spending too much time with Snape. That may be how he works, but George has a different kind of effect on people. As you well know: secrets don't last long in our family. You can try and hide somethin', but it always comes 'round eventually. When Ron started bringing Lav-Lav to family dinner," Ginny's face scrunched with disgust and her tone changed as she mentioned the pet name. "George pulled me and Harry aside to tell us what happened."

Hermione leaned closer to her friend. "And why would George tell you?"

Lacing her fingers together, Ginny leaned back on them, resting her head on her palms. "Because George likes to keep Harry and me in the know." Her eyes trailed upwards and fastened on the ceiling above her. "From what George had told me, in mid-September, Ron went to the Wheezes shop and tried to buy MagiGlu."

"MagiGlu..." Hermione had heard of it before. "The glue with enhanced magical properties? Said to bind almost anything?"

"That's the one." Ginny nodded, reaching for another packaged sweet. "Said he needed to fix his wand with it."

"Ohh, MagiGlu won't do the trick! Is he thick? Why not go to Ollivander's?"

"Beats me. Maybe he already tried? I dunno. But he was probably graspin' at straws at that point."

There was a faint click in the back of Hermione's brain. "George must've seen that it was purposefully snapped... So, in order to sell it to Ron, he must've asked what happened?"

"Nnn..." Ginny stuck out her tongue thoughtfully. "Not exactly. From what George said, Ron was panicking so badly but he wouldn't explain why. So he offered Ron a cuppa tea... It had Veritisium in it. Told him everything."

"Really?"

"Really."

Hermione tried to look scandalized but she knew she couldn't hold back her smile. "That's illegal!"

"Oh, like you've never broken the law before!" Ginny countered with a smirk of her own. "Besides, George doesn't like to be out of the loop, anyway. He likes to know everythin' going on with Ron. Ever Fred had passed, he's been more keen on spending time with Ron and Percy..." Ginny's eyes watered with emotion, but she quickly shook them away. "Anyway, they've been really close so they really do tell each other everything. When Ron wouldn't saw what happened, George made sure that he would find out. Usually, George wouldn't spill such a personal secret to Harry and I, but since it has to do with you and you're practically family, he told us."

There was no room for doubt in Hermione's mind.

Severus Snape had to have held some sort of feelings for her too, right? Why else would he go through such lengthy measures to ensure her well-being? Why else would he serve her so willingly and so eagerly, going as far as to send his own House-Elf to aid her in the most meaningless tasks? Why else would he seek out Ronald and snap his wand? Unless he was playing at something, it meant that he had to hold some sort of reserve for her, right?

Wringing her hands in anxiety, the witch paced in quick and uneasy circles around the sofa and coffee table to make sense of these thoughts and the complicating emotions that came along with them. She had no answers, no solutions, no step-by-step formula to resolve this circumstance before her... Only more questions.

"Sooo... Any-?"

"No, Ginny," Hermione sighed, pressing her fingers to her head and massaging gently to ease the throbbing in her temples. "There has been nothing. Nothing at all. Nothing whatsoever. So stop asking!"

A full hour of waiting for Severus and Harry to return to her quarters was nothing compared to hanging out with an impatient and insistent Ginny Weasley. She loved her friend, she truly did, but the past hour she had been asked possibly every relationship-related question or topic that all ended with the same answers: "No", "We're not a couple", "The answer is still 'no'", and "You already asked that".

"'Mione? Hermione?"

A gentle hand tugged on her wrist, disrupting her from pacing. Another tug and Hermione found herself sitting upon the red couch.

"Look," the ginger started slowly, releasing her wrist. "Don't be so antsy about this."

Hermione's spine became indignantly straight. "I am not antsy!" she protested huffily.

Ginny cast her a knowing glance. "Yes, you are. You're pacing about the room like Mum does when she's freaking out, wringing your hands and everything. Just wait until the old git comes back and you can resume your conversation! Harry and me will leave so you can just pick it up where you left off!"

"Assuming there is anything to pick up..."

Ginny threw her a disbelieving look. "Don't be stupid. Of course there is!"

"Ginny, nobody will approve of this... I mean, I don't understand how I even feel this way for him. He's old enough to be my father. Not to mention he has been horrible at times..."

"That he may have been, but recently you two have been inseparable, yeah? Always workin' together, on God knows what. You brought him to your birthday party, but you didn't invite Neville or Luna. As for people not approving... I don't see why you care. You've never cared about what anybody has thought or said in the past! And besides, Lupin was old 'nough to be Tonks' father and yet they married. Lots of people objected, but they didn't care because what they had for each other was stronger than anyone else's opinion. In the short amount of time they were together, they were blissfully happy. They didn't care. They just had to be together."

"Their situation was different." Hermione tried to argue. "It wasn't the age that made them apprehensive of the relationship - it was the fact that he was a werewolf."

"Beside the point, you're always going to have opposition. But it shouldn't matter, y'know? At the end of the day, it's your feelings and your decision on what you wanna do with them. Screw what everyone else thinks."

Images of the couple came to Hermione's mind's eye. A picture of a shabby Lupin in his old robes with graying hair standing proudly beside the young Tonks with her vivid pink hair and cheeky smile... Hermione couldn't argue with Ginny. During the time Lupin and Tonks were alive, despite the hardships, they were happy, and no age difference or condition of Lupin's was going to convince them otherwise. It was a powerful love that one could only see once in a lifetime, but it existed alright and she couldn't deny it. It was a bittersweet love story, but also one everyone truly wishes they could experience, even if it's just once in their lifetime.

"You may be right, Ginny, and you may be wrong. But this isn't the same thing, no matter how you try to compare it. This is what I think is happening. Severus has been helpful to me ever since I arrived at Hogwarts. From moving in and setting up to helping me with this potion we're working on. When I had discovered of Ron's unfaithfulness, I was hurt and heartbroken, and Severus had been there for me. Now, I can only deduce this logically: He had been there for me when I was shaken and vulnerable, thus, forming a small emotional heart tie with him-,"

Ginny let out a groan of annoyance but Hermione continued on.

"-and so, as far as I am concerned, I have feelings for the man because of fortuitous circumstances that will crumble and disappear just as everything eventually does. I do fancy the man, I will admit that, but it will fade in time. I cannot expect or get my hopes up that Severus would delight in any sort of romantic relationship with one of his former students, or anyone else for that matter... Perhaps, it's for the best that this remains in the dark until it's blown over."

Ginny looked at her straight-faced for a long moment, longer than Hermione would have liked, before it became soft. "'Fortuitous circumstances'... Hermione..." her voice was a soft as her countenance. "I don't know 'bout you... But feelings don't go away like that."

"Well, in this case, they might just have to." Hermione countered stubbornly. "I cannot hold onto these with unrealistic expectations in hopes that one day, he will fancy me. It's best to just... Let it go, for now." Even as she said it, the words leaving her lips wounded her. She didn't want her feelings, however small and insignificant, to be hurt and returned to her unrequited but at the same time, she couldn't be unrealistic about it. She was not going to be like the rest of those airheaded women out there in the world that were always led by their feelings.

Hermione glanced at her watch once more. "What time did those two leave, anyway?" She asked, wanting to move off the subject. "I am sure it's been well over an hour since they've left!"

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about them."

"Is something wrong?"

"Hm? No, not wrong." Unlike Ginny's other smiles she had shared in the past hour, this one was unexpectedly soft. "Harry wants Snape to do us a favor for our wedding."

"Oh? What type of favor?"

"Something that would mean a lot to Harry, but we'll see if Severus even wants to do it. If not, we won't have a problem finding someone else."

Hermione tilted her head to the side. "So... He wants something from Severus? That's odd. I thought he would ask someone else, like your father or one of your relatives? Severus seems like the last person Harry would ask any kind of favor from..."

"Well, Harry stated that if Sirius were still alive..." Ginny trailed off but the words were no longer needed. "But he's not, and he said from the beginning he wanted Snape help out. Merlin knows why, but that's what Harry said he wanted. If Harry's happy, who'm I to disagree with him?"

"I know. Crazy, huh? Ever since the Battle five years ago, Harry's always talked about Snape in a different way... Always holding him to this unknown, special respect that he never had before. I wonder what had happened that made him change his mind..."

"I wish I knew..." Hermione confessed. It has been the oddest thing to see the two of them on such an even level. "He's so friendly with Severus now. Severus looks like he doesn't quite know what to do with that just yet, since he and Harry always used to constantly be head-to-head."

The ginger smiled widely. "Ain't it funny how times change?"

Hermione sat back into the cushions for a moment, trying to make sense of this. "Very funny, indeed. Those two have the strangest relationship..."

"I know it! But enough about me and Harry! Let's talk more about you and Snape!"

"Ugh, enough with this!" Hermione groaned. "And also, keep your voice down! For all we know, he could be right outside my door!"

This idea didn't sway Ginny in the slightest. In fact, it only aroused her excitement even more, much to Hermione's dismay. "Good! Let him hear! Let him hear how you want to be his woman and have his babies!"

Hermione's mind went blank for a brief moment. "I-I want nothing of the sort! Besides, I don't want children at this time in my life and Severus doesn't really even like children!"

"Oh, sure he does!"

"He calls them 'bastards', Gin."

Ginny snorted with laughter. "'Course he does. The git."

Knock knock!

The bushy haired witch was already on her feet by the second knock. Her heart beating like mad and the hairs on her neck standing erect, she looked wide-eyed at the door.

"I-I'm not ready for this!" she confessed quietly to her redhead friend. "What if he-?"

"Oh, stop being dramatic, you." Ginny rolled her eyes as she strolled over to the door. Leaning into the earpiece for a moment, she pulled away and opened the passage way widely. "Oh. Just you, Harry?"

To Hermione's relief and great disappointment, 'just' Harry stepped through the doorway.

"Just me?" Harry repeated in mock offense, his eyes wide behind his round spectacles. "Well then!"

"Oh, come off it!" Ginny chuckled, taking his hand with a soft smirk. "Y'know what I'm saying here." She stood on her tip toes and glanced over his shoulders. "Where is Snape?"

"Call him 'professor' or 'sir', Gin." Harry reprimanded her gently. "And he left. Said he's got some things to do."

Hermione tugged at her braid. "Will he be back?"

Harry's eyes met hers and he gave her a sad smile. "Dunno, 'Mione. But sorry about before, y'know, ruining your moment with him."

Hermione tried to hide her blush but judging by Harry's growing smirk, she failed. "Th-There is nothing to forgive. And we didn't have a 'moment'!"

Once again, Ginny's eyes were rolling in annoyance. "Good Lord, drop it, will you? It's clear that you fancy the git, you don't need to hide it from Harry!"

"Harry?" Hermione cut her friend off with a clipped tone. She was more than done with this conversation and had no desire to speak with Ginny about it any further. "How did your talk with Snape go?"

"Hm? Oh, it went fine."

The redheaded witch glanced at her fiance. "So... He agreed, then?"

Harry ran a hand through his spiky hair. "He said he'd think about it. I mean, I didn't expect an immediate response today, but I was half-expecting him to tell me to shove off. But it's okay. The wedding isn't until next year. I don't mind waiting."

"Okay." Hermione wished that she knew what they were talking about and what favor they were asking Severus but she didn't have the energy to wrestle it out of Ginny, who had far more energy and spunk that the poor witch could handle at the present time.

"So! Hermione! Wanna go grab food with us? You've got the rest of the day off, right?"

"Oh, yes, 'Mione!" Excitement lit up Ginny's eyes. "Come with us!"

"Oh, um... That sounds nice, but I..." She glanced at the doorway and hope filled her chest. "I have a few things I need to get done. I should just stick around here."

Hermione expected the both of them to protest and beg, but instead, Harry surprised her with an understanding smile.

"We gotcha." He said with a nod of his head. "Then... We'll just see you around, yeah? You will come around again, won't you?"

Hermione felt a warm feeling spreading through her heart. "I'll do my best!" She replied with honest earnest. Reaching for Ginny and hugging her tightly, she realized how much she missed her friends and their company. "Let's do lunch next week?"

"I'm up for it. You, Gin?"

"Duh!"

Hermione laughed. Hugging Harry and wishing her best friends farewell, they used the Floo network and were gone in a flash. Her eyes left the fireplace and locked on the door once more. She could not fight the hope in her chest that Severus would return to her quarters. She longed for him to return to her even if it was just for a moment or so. She just wanted to see him.

Ginny and Harry had left Hogwarts hours ago and Hermione remained on the spot where they had left her. Resting her back into the scarlet cushions, her eyes fixated on the tea cup. The contents inside now cold, she didn't have the desire to heat it up, as if giving herself an excuse to remain sitting.

Her mind reminded her of the mental list of things she knew she had to do. Grade papers, prepare for Monday's lesson, go to the Great Hall for dinner...

And yet, with the list in the forefront of her mind, she remained where she was with the illogical hope that the Potions master would return to her.

It was a far-fetched desire, a foolish longing that the man would return to her but it did not stop her from wanting such a thing.

This theory was, of course, disproved when he arrived at her door knocking with a St. Mungo's letter in his hand.

"They approved." He stated without any greeting as soon as they were face-to-face. His pale hand held up an envelope with the St. Mungo's seal, already torn, meaning he had already opened it and read it. "The Healers want to see us and our experimental potion first thing in the morning."

This news hit Hermione like a gust of wind. Her fluttering emotions of conflicted feelings flew away as her eyes locked on the envelope between his fingers.

"A-Already?" she whispered, her voice barely audible from the shock. He extended the envelope to her and when she took it, she didn't realize how badly her hands were shaking until started opening it up to read the letter inside. The perfect writing in black ink stood out in the light from the fireplace.

Professor Severus Snape

Potions Master

Of Esteemed Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry,

Thank you for sending your letter. We appreciate anyone and everyone who takes the time to send us a letter in concern of our patients. Due to your previous history with us and the elixirs you have crafted for St Mungo's many times in the past - including many of my own patients - The Healers would be honored if you would bring forth your concoctions to test on one of our Cruciatus victims. I have already sought out permission from the family of one of my patients for the trial run of your potion. Arrive at St. Mungo's no later than seven o'clock tomorrow morning with everything you require.

Kindest Regards,

Healer Miriam Strout

"Wait, what?" Hermione reread the letter. "This doesn't make sense!"

"What doesn't?" Severus' voice came from the coffee table, where he was serving himself a cup of tea.

"No screening? No testing?" Hermione's eyes met his, feeling confused at his confidence. "So they just... Let you go in and test out potions on their patients WITHOUT any sort of reason to believe that you could have made a mistake? Or that you're going to poison one of them?"

Severus' calm demeanor changed in the blink of an eye. His eyebrows furrowed behind his curtain of raven hair, his eyes alight in anger.

"Is that what you think of me?"

Hermione's heart fell through her stomach. He was taking her meaning the wrong way. "N-No, no! Not at all, Severus. I didn't mean it like that!" Shaking her head, she gestured to the letter again. "It's just- they let you in so easily! Within a day's response, too! They aren't taking any precautions or anything!"

The fuming wizard's shoulders relaxed. The fury in his eyes disappeared in an instant, much to her relief. He was quite intimidating when he looked angry. "Like the letter stated, unless you skipped over it..." The wizard raised his hand over his tea cup and as he did, steam lifted like a cloud from the cup. "I have done many favors for St. Mungo's and their patients. The Healers would run into problems and they wouldn't have many solutions so they would come to me, asking for me to craft potions for them. Especially when more cases of werewolves were coming out. They asked for the same potion I created for Lupin..." He stared thoughtfully into his tea cup before taking a sip. "They give me leniency because they trust in my skills. That is why we will not have any problems bringing forth our potion and testing it out on a patient."

Hermione nodded. She read over the letter once more and she could sense the familiarity in the writing.

"Miriam Strout... Who is she?"

"A St. Mungo's Healer."

"Yes, I know that. But... She sounds familiar."

"She takes after the victims who have been cursed and haven't recovered. Perhaps you've heard of some of her patients. Gilderoy Lockhart. Frank and Alice Longbottom, also."

"Oh, of course. I should have known that..."

The shock from the news was ebbing away, and the atmosphere between her and the Potions master was becoming quiet with only the sounds of the wood cracking in the fireplace and Hermione's heart pounding in her ears. They were alone. There were going to be no more interruptions from any outside forces. It was just the two of them standing there...

Was now the right time to say something? Anything at all?

What she said to Ginny was true. She was sure these feelings would go away. Were they even worth discussing?

Her eyes roamed over the Potions master.

Although tall and firm, he wasn't muscular and he towered over everybody, giving him an intimidating and ominous appearance. His skin was as pale as a vampire's, his cheeks hallow and his eyes darkened with circles. He had wrinkles between his eyebrows and frown lines from scowling so often. She wasn't lying when she had confessed to Ginny how she viewed the man. Severus Snape was the furthest thing from an attractive man. He was rude and calloused. He was always right even when he was wrong, and if you argued with him, you would always lose. He was the most undesirable man she knew... And yet now, as she looked at him...

His hands cradled the tea cup in his hands gracefully before taking a silent sip. His hands, so pale and oddly shaped, held so much care and grace than anyone else she had ever met. Always meticulous and precise, he was. Always careful and never making any clumsy mistakes... She actually admired his hands. No... Scratch that. She was sure in this moment that she admired almost everything about him.

"Do you have a question, Hermione?"

His question startled her. He wasn't even looking at her! How could he tell that she was staring at him? He glanced up knowingly at her with a faint smirk.

"N-No." Hermione lied stubbornly. "Just thinking about tomorrow is all..." Her eyes fell to the envelope in her hand. "St. Mungo's..."

"Right." Severus' smirk remained. He saw right through her. "I am going to correctly assume that Ms. Weasley and you had a pleasant time together?"

"Yes, we did. Although exhausting... And how was your time with Harry?"

"A waste of my precious time." He answered in a dull tone before taking another sip of his tea. "But fine nonetheless. The boy has grown up."

"That he has. Can't believe he's going to be getting married next year." Hermione waved her hand and the tray lifted itself from the coffee table and floated to the kitchenette. Perhaps he would tell her what he and Harry discussed?

"Hn," The dark wizard agreed. Instead of going into detail, he Charmed the tea cup in his hands to follow the floating tray into the kitchenette. "Dinner will begin soon in the Great Hall. Shall we go?"

Hermione nodded in agreement.

Her stomach that was once filled with butterflies and anxiety was now quiet and still while her heart felt heavy. There was nothing to continue after all. Hours of waiting, playing scenarios in her mind of something exciting and new, all reduced to distance and small talk. Her idiotic, fourth-year assumptions were correct. She was just imagining things. Severus did not look at her in that sort of way. He did not desire her, emotionally or otherwise. Then again, she had expected this, right? Recalling what she had told Ginny, she said her feelings were surface level and that they would surely fade. Then, why was she so downtrodden and defeated by the non-verbal rejectional signs Severus was practically throwing at her? Why did her heart physically hurt in her chest when she so much as looked at the wizard?

I'm so stupid, she berated herself bitterly on the inside while smiling brightly to Severus on the outside. "Shall we, then?"

He couldn't care for me in that way. I'm bonkers for even thinking of the possibility...

Turning her back to him and about to reach for the door, the same hand she was admiring just a minute ago suddenly came out from behind her and planted right next to hers on the door. Shocked that he was blocking her from leaving, she turned her head to look at him. He was so much closer than she had anticipated and the closeness made her face heat up.

"S-Severus..."

"Be quiet for a moment," he requested quietly, almost softly. His black, onyx eyes were the softest she had ever seen them. "There is something I want to say."

Swallowing hard, the witch only nodded, respecting his request for her silence. She turned to look at him fully, expecting him to pull away now that he had gotten her attention. Instead, to her great surprise, he remained leaning into the doorway, thus, leaning closer to her. This had reminded her of just a little while back, weeks ago, when he had seduced her to get his way with something. Now, however, the situation was completely different. His eyes were softer than she had ever seen them and his countenance peaceful. Her heart was beating so fast and so wildly in her head she half-feared that she wouldn't be able to hear his quiet tone. What was he going to say? Was he going to do anything?

"I want you to know that I appreciate you." he said quietly, his lips barely moving. "I am aware I don't express it because expressing emotions is difficult for me... But I wanted you to know that because you deserve to know it. I... am content during the times we spend together."

Anyone else who would have said it, it would have just been a compliment. But from Severus Snape... It was so much more than that. Just admitting that he felt some sort of emotion was a huge step for him. Well, big step for him, and also doing quite the number on her poor heart. Blushing like crazy and her palms sweating, Hermione gave him her best smile.

"Thank you, Severus..."

His other hand, which had been left at his side uselessly until now, was now raised up. With a look of hesitancy, he allowed his fingertips to caress her cheek, sending new sensations of warmth and excitement through the young witch. So soft... She thought dreamily to herself before closing her eyes in bliss. She had no idea her skin was this soft, this inviting...

Leaning instinctively into his palm, she rested her head into his hand fully.

This is what she had been waiting for. Her fears and feelings confirmed: he did have feelings for her. They were subtle, quiet, and almost invisible at times, but they were still there and they were powerful! She cracked her eyes open to look at him only to realize that he had moved an inch or so closer to her. Her heart went from beating madly like a samba in her chest to slowing down painfully.

Would he kiss her?

Her eyes naturally wandered to his lips, which were seemingly moving closer and closer by the second.

The real question was: did she want this?

They hadn't been friends for too long and she hadn't even considered a relationship with him until just recently but every part of her body and mind was cheering her on. They may not have had years to get to know each other, but the past few weeks spent together had been some of the best she had ever had. She valued this man more than she had realized.

Yes. She answered her mind almost immediately and willed her body to relax. More than anything... I want this. Her eyes fluttering closed, she leaned close to him... She was so close she could smell his cologne upon his robes... It was delightful.

Then, all of a sudden, he pulled away.

"Dinner." he said abruptly. With that one word and one gesture, the gentle bubble of bliss surrounding them had popped.

Feeling disappointed that there was no kiss, Hermione pulled away as well. "Yes, of course." She agreed and turned to the door only to be stopped once more, by that same soft hand grasping her own.

"I meant every word." came his voice once more.

Hermione met his eyes once more. His dark eyes were lowered in shame and his shoulders hunched slightly. Pushing aside her disappointed feelings, she reminded herself of the tender moment they had shared before the moment had broken. They had silently expressed to each other of their mutual feelings. It was heartwarming all together knowing that even though there was no kiss and the moment ended rather abruptly, that he had returned her feelings at least to some degree, which was still something.

Smiling softly at him, she squeezed his hand in return. "I know," She replied tenderly, catching his gaze once more. "Thank you."

They walked side-by-side to Great Hall for dinner and every once in a while, their hands would brush against one another's.

END

(inhale) YAAAAAAAAAAAY! (flops over)

Have a great day ^_^ God bless!

Random fact of the day: I'm tired... Can't you tell?