Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill or its characters.....I own nothing but this story's plot!!!

Chapter 21: Remember Your Inner Strength

Somehow Brooke had made it through the photo shoot. She fixed her makeup and plastered on a fake smile—something it seemed Matthew had been doing their entire marriage. But she was a survivor, and that's what she did.

Now that she had retreated to her room she was absolutely dreading going down for dinner. She had no desire to be with these people who called themselves her family. As far as she was concerned, her family was in Tree Hill, North Carolina.

She kept thinking about Matthew's revelation and how she was such an idiot. She had been young and blinded by the whirlwind courtship. She hated to admit it, but she had loved him once. She wasn't exactly sure where her feelings stood as of lately, but they were becoming more and more clear.

She wondered if her parents knew about Matthew's true feelings. And if they did know, would they even care? Then it hit her like a tons of bricks. This is why her father had basically forced her to date Matthew. And why they liked him so much, right from the start. They had picked him for their family and had no regard for what she might think of it.

She sat down on her window seal and tried both Lucas's and Haley's phones once more. She had probably called an equivalent of 10 times between the two and had gotten no answer. Part of her was sad that she couldn't vent to them about her nightmare of a life, but a larger part was happy she wasn't ruining their Thanksgiving holidays.

She moved over to her bed and laid back onto her the pillows and closed her eyes. The altercation before mixed with faking wedded bliss for the photo shoot had emotionally drained her. She felt herself drift closer and closer to sleep, and finally after a losing battle, let herself drift off.

Haley and Nathan hugged her family goodbye and headed to their car. They were going back to Nathan's parent's house for dinner. Haley loved her family but sometimes a few hours were all she could take with them.

Nathan started the car and began backing out of the drive. As he did this Haley began to search through her purse for her phone. Before they got to the other side of town where Keith and Karen lived, she wanted to check if Karen had called or if she needed them to pick up any last minute items.

Her phone beeped at her just as she picked it up, indicating she had missed a call while she was inside her parent's house.

"Who called?" Nathan asked, leaning over the console to get a clear view of her phone.

"I don't know yet," she giggled. "But you better lean back into your own seat in case it was my secret boyfriend," she teased her husband.

Before she had a chance to flip it open, Nathan playfully snatched the phone from her hands and flipped it open. "Secret boyfriend," he mumbled. "That would only be true if that secret boyfriend was Brooke. And in that case it'd be kinda hot," he remarked, giving him wife a nudge in her arm.

"You're such a guy," Haley said with a roll of the eyes. "Now give me back my phone," she ordered, sticking her hand out to him.

Nathan laughed and handed her the desired object, turning his attention back to the road. Haley took her phone and punched the call button so she would soon be talking to her friend.

"We wish you a Merry Christmas, We wish you a Merry Christmas, We wish you a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year," rang out through the house.

Brooke found herself watching a much younger version of herself sit patiently in front of the Christmas tree. The 12-foot tree towered above the little brunette girl and the amount of presents that surrounded her was ungodly.

The tiny girl held a teddy bear and counted all the presents that displayed her name on them. She stopped abruptly when a much younger Victoria and Conrad descended the staircase. They were followed by their old butler, Geoff, and their many, many suitcases.

"Brooke, we'll be back in two weeks," Conrad explained to his daughter.

Brooke watched the younger version of herself begin to pout. "But you promised you'd be here for Christmas this year," she said as she stood up and put her tiny hands on her hips.

"Now Brookie," Victoria warned. "If you don't tuck in that lower lip of yours then Santa won't bring you any gifts tonight. And Momma and Daddy won't bring you anything from Germany."

The younger Brooke continued to pout. "But you promised!" She cried, almost in tears.

"Melanie, will you take her to bed. She's obviously exhausted," Conrad instructed, waving his hands in the direction of the grand staircase.

Brooke's nanny scooped her up and carried the now sobbing child up to her bedroom.

"C'mon, Honey, we don't want to miss our flight," Conrad told Victoria as he grabbed her hand and they walked out of the house.

Then the scene before Brooke's eyes faded to black and she was in her Manhattan apartment, decorating the tree. But it wasn't as she was actually doing it; she was once again staring down at herself. She watched as she hung the last ornament delicately on the tree and backed away to admire it.

"Isn't that pretty honey?" She asked, turning to face the big blue eyed baby that was sitting in a bouncy chair next to her.

Then Matthew came into the room, dragging his suitcases behind him. He clicked off the cell phone he had been talking on and turned to Brooke. "Now, I'll only be gone a few days but…" He was cut off.

"But it's Christmas!" Brooke screamed flinging her hands into the air and letting them fall to her sides.

"Not everywhere it isn't," Matthew corrected. "Besides, this is the best time of year to do business and I can't turn my back on this deal."

"Of course you can't," Brooke watching herself sarcastically snap, as she picked up the baby and turned back to face her Christmas tree.

"Don't be like that," Matthew urged, placing his hands on the shoulders.

"Like what?" Brooke asked, spinning around. "Is it wrong to want to be with my husband on Christmas?" She questioned, now yelling at him. "Besides, its Ben's first Christmas! Does that even matter to you?"

Matthew backed away. "You know, I don't have time for this," he dismissed her as his phone began to ring.

And as the scene disappeared, the phone continued to ring. And it got louder. Brooke finally snapped out of it and realized it was her phone.

She answered it and said into the receiver, "Thanks God it's you. You are not going to believe the dream I just had."

Nathan and Haley had arrived at Nathan's parent's house about fifteen minutes ago, but Haley was still in the car talking to her best friend. Nathan had gone ahead inside the house to see the family. Haley decided it would be best for her to stay in the car where she wouldn't be interrupted, because from what Brooke had revealed in the short car ride over, she figured she needed to give her her undivided attention now.

She could not believe the things that Brooke was telling her. She had figured her friend's holiday would be less than the ideal family gathering, but she had no idea.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come up there?" Haley asked her again. She was sure she had asked her at least twenty times; each time hoping her independent friend would change her answer.

No such luck. "Haley, I'll be fine," Brooke continued to insist, hoping to convince not only her friend but also herself. "I mean, if I can't handle a weekend alone with my family, what's wrong with me?" She asked her friend, trying to lighten the dark mood that had settled over their phone conversation.

"But Brooke," Haley pleaded. "You just found out some pretty life-altering information. I feel like you need me there, and its okay for you to ask me to be."

Brooke felt a smile trying to creep onto her face. She knew with a support system like this she would be okay. "Haley, I can't act so broken. I fell like that's what they want, what they expect. If I make it through lunch tomorrow, I'll be home. And then I can deal with this whole situation," she told her friend.

"But don't be too hasty about them," Haley instructed. "I want you to see this through and make sure you think it out, consider all the options."

"I will, Mom," Brooke said, rolling her eyes, as an instinctual reaction, even though she knew no one could see her. How sad was it that her best friend was the closest thing to an actual mom that she had. "I think this weekend has definitely been an eye opener. And hopefully when I can get back I can stay focused and do what I need to do. I just can't think about it right now."

Haley nodded. "Well whatever you need. I'm here. And Nathan and I will do whatever we can," she said.

"I know. Thanks Hales. I wouldn't expect anything less from the two of you," Brooke smiled. "But I'm about to go back to sleep. I'm not hungry and I really don't feel like dealing with anyone tonight."

"Okay, well call me if you need me—no matter what time it is. And have sweet dreams, no more crazy family nightmares," Haley said in a soothing voice. It was soft, like a calming breeze.

Brooke was glad Haley could put her in a good mood even when she was feeling so lousy. She smiled to herself once more. "Oh, I hope I don't have any more of those either. I think I've had enough of them to last me a lifetime."

"Haha, alright. I'll talk to you soon. I love you, Brookie," Haley chirped.

"Bye sweets, love you too," Brooke answered, clicking off her phone and placing it on the nightstand. And she actually felt warmth inside herself. She was glad she could still feel because there was no way she wanted to be cutoff and frozen—free of emotion the way her parents and Matthew were. That is not the path she wanted to take, and she intended to do everything in her power to see that it wasn't.

The next morning Brooke awoke early, feeling worse than she had the night before with the weight of everything having time to fully crush her. But Brooke Davis doesn't roll over and just take the blows she is dealt. Maybe that's what she had been doing for the past few years, but she was determined to get herself back—the version of herself that had been happy.

She laid out her clothes for the day then packed her bags. She was ready to leave as soon as she awoke, but she was determined to face her family. She needed this, to see them, if for nothing more than to be able to let go of them.

Right as she was brushing on her blush, there was a knock at her bedroom door. She threw down her makeup brush, but before she had a chance to properly answer it her mother came barging in.

When she caught sight of Brooke entering from the adjoining bathroom she started to speak. "Thank God you're up," she began. "I was afraid I would have to rouse you, or at least get Brigitte to. So, are you feeling any better? Matthew said you were feeling ill last night. What was it, a migraine?" She asked almost as if she actually cared, as she moved further into the room her daughter was occupying.

Brooke scoffed at her mother's words. Seriously, was she trying to act like she cared? And what was this BS about migraines? "Yeah sure Mother," she answered. "Just keep on living in delusion. But me, I'm choosing to see the light," she spat taking a seat at the end of her bed. She knew her words would probably confuse her mom, but they made perfect sense to her.

Victoria looked at her daughter with a look of total confusion. I guess ignorance really is bliss.

"Wh-what are you talking about?" She asked, trying to understand. "Matthew said—" She was cut off.

"Matthew?" Brooke questioned back, not believing her mother was still buying into his shit. "Matthew's…" She trailed off when she noticed his frame in the doorway.

"Matthew's what?" He asked, coming into the room behind Victoria. As he did he sent a towering stare at the woman he called his wife.

"Nothing," Brooke mumbled. "Now if you two will excuse me, I have to get dressed," she informed them, fumbling for her shirt and pants at the end of the bed.

"Well I hope you're not seriously wearing that for Thanksgiving dinner, or are you?" Victoria asked, admonished her daughter was even considering wearing a top and jeans. "Who is it even by?"

Brooke snatched her top from her mother's greedy hands. "Not that it's any of you business, but it's mine," she proudly stated, tucking the teal shirt close to her chest.

"We know it's yours, Darling," Victoria said as if her question had been so obvious. "But who is the designer?"

"I told you it's mine. I'm the designer," Brooke reiterated the point she was trying to get across.

She was not prepared for the reaction that came next. Her bedroom erupted in a fit of laughter. And not just regular giggles, it was full blown hysterics.

"Oh that's rich," Matthew butted into the conversation. "You made that?" He remarked, pointing at her as if it was the funniest thing he had ever heard.

"Yeah, what's so funny about that?" Brooke defensively questioned, backing away from them.

"Oh honey," Victoria mused. "It's just that you could never make something like that. You're too…too…" She let her sentence trail off, unable to find th perfect word to finish it.

"Too what?" She asked, enraged, placing her hands on her hips.

"Too pampered, among other things," Matthew plainly stated, walking towards her. "It's just not you."

Brooke took another step backwards, towards her bathroom. "As if you know me," she hissed. "Either of you," she added angrily, pointing a finger at Victoria. "Well don't worry, you won't have to waste your time doing that," she snapped going into the bathroom and slamming the door before either had a chance to respond.

All day Karen and Haley had been preparing for Thanksgiving dinner. While the boys watched football, breaking away from the games every now and then to 'help' as well. Although their version of helping was more equivalent to eating the food before it had a chance to be placed on the table and causing more work for the girls in the process.

"I told you not to come in here again unless you were going to take a turn at basting the turkey," Haley warned as Nathan came in and dipped his finger into the cherry pie filling.

He licked it off and sent a mischievous grin back at his wife. "Okay, I'm staying out," he said, raising his hands to signal surrender. "The game just had a TV timeout and I'm starving."

"But I gave you boys some cookies and mini pizzas," Karen said, not seeing how this hadn't kept the men in her life full.

"Mom," Nathan began matter of factly. "The pizza bite things, yeah, they were gone in like ten minutes. And as for the cookies, your husband hogged them all up and me and Luke only got like five between the two of us," he tattled like a seven-year-old, pointing a finger at his father who was entering the kitchen.

"Hey, don't look at me. I can't control this beast," he said, grabbing his stomach as it began to growl. And everyone started to laugh.

"Well here," Karen offered, handing them a sausage and cheese platter. "Go munch on these. Haley and I are going to set the table and as soon as the turkey is dressed then we'll be ready to eat."

"Great," Keith mumbled, his mouth full of food as he headed back to finish the game. All the while he was knocking away Nathan's advances to grab food off of the tray.

"The turkey's great, Ma," Lucas commented as he took another bite. He wasn't sure if it was that the turkey was actually that good, or if it had been the anticipation of wanting to eat his mom's turkey, but he couldn't get enough of it.

"Well thank you. I figured as much by the way all of you are stuffing it down your throats, but it is always nice to hear it," Karen responded, smiling happily at her family. She always loved the holidays and having her boys back at home made that time even more special.

"Well my favorite is the dressing, as always," Nathan said, having to add in his two cents on the meal.

"Well shocker there. That would always be your food of choice. I remember when you were eleven and made your mom make it for your birthday dinner. That was all you ate," Keith laughed.

"Oh, I remember that too," Karen said, grabbing her husband's hand that rested on the table. "I also think that was the year Lucas tried to rebel and die his hair with Kool-aid," she also laughed at the memories.

"What?" Haley giggled, covering her mouth with her hand. "Why don't I remember this?" She asked, clearly in shock. She had been Lucas's best friend for as long as she could remember and she had no recollection of him with red hair. And that wouldn't be the type of thing you easily forgot.

"That's because you always went to camp in the summer," Karen reminded her with a nod. "It was gone before the fall, thank God."

"Yeah," she said, remembering how she always spent her summers with her other best friend. "I want to hear more about this," she encouraged, leaning forward onto the table.

Before Lucas had a chance to object or comment, the doorbell rang. "I'll get it," he quickly offered, pushing back from the table and practically racing to the door.

Lucas got to the front door in record time, eager to be out of that conversation. Talking about Nathan's embarrassing moments was one thing, but rehashing his own was a totally different ballpark.

He reached for the doorknob and cautiously opened it. He knew they weren't expecting anyone but still, he had lived in the city too long. You still couldn't be too cautious, even though it was probably one of their elderly neighbors bringing over a dessert. Only what he found was anything but.

"Hi Luke," Brooke meekly said, smiling up at the tall, blonde boy.

Yay!! Brooke came to Tree Hill!! I hope you all liked this chapter...and as a little holiday treat I made it longer than normal...not too, too long, but still, longer than my others!! I want to thanks everyone who has taken the time to review lately: CheeryDavisScott03, flipflopgal, BrucasEqlsluv, othfan326, Brucasfan23, and canadianprincess101!! I love all of you and greatly appreciate your reviews of my work! I am sorry I did not have the time to send out PMs to you all this time, but I definitely will next time! Oh and if anyone actually even reads this little author's note down here, a few weeks ago I was listening to the radio and I heard a son that totally fit this story's Brooke. It's "Let me be Myself" by 3 Doors Down. Thought you all might want to weight in on that or take a listen to it if you haven't...it's a great song! Anyways, remember, Reviews=Love! Expect some Brucas to come! ;)

Audra