There's still some drama in this one, but there's some hopefulness too.

Rayna felt frustrated and anxious. She'd been back in rehearsals for three weeks and she'd already gone through five lead guitarists. Three of them had quit on her, two she had fired, one after only a day. She knew she was a perfectionist and she was trying hard to be flexible and lower her standards a bit, but even then everyone she tried was just, well, awful. I guess that's what happens when you've worked with the best.

She had rushed off the stage as soon as rehearsal was over, back to the room where Maddie was with her sitter. She'd sent the woman on her way and practically cried with relief when she opened her blouse and her nursing bra and put Maddie to her breast. She'd started trying to wean her, in anticipation of touring, but she had loved this part of being Maddie's mama and loved the closeness, so it was hard to give it up.

She watched her little girl hungrily sucking on her breast and smiled. She ran her finger over Maddie's silky dark hair and suddenly felt tears threaten. She frowned and concentrated on pushing them back. It did no good to dwell on things, to think about Deacon not knowing about Maddie.

She pushed all that out of her mind and concentrated on her perfect baby girl. Maddie was just shy of six months old and she'd been an absolute dream. She rarely cried and she slept well and ate well. She was a happy baby and Rayna and Teddy had doted on her since she was born. She murmured softly to the baby and then moved her to the other breast.

Rayna had taken time off since before Maddie was born and was now ready to get back to her career. She was working on an album and then planned to hit the road to tour just before Maddie turned one. She had someone lined up already to care for her baby who was working out well. If only she could solve her guitarist dilemma as easily.

While Maddie nursed, Rayna ran through the difficulties she'd had settling on a lead guitarist. The rest of the members of her band were ready and willing to return, but when she had fired Deacon that day, when all she could think about was their baby inside of her, she'd intended it to be for good. She couldn't imagine, especially now that she was married to Teddy and had made the decisions she had about Maddie, being able to work with Deacon again. And yet, nothing was working without him.

Just then there was a knock on the door and Bucky burst in without waiting for her response. "Rayna, we need to…Oh, God." Bucky turned his back on her. "I'm sorry," he said.

Rayna laughed softly. "It's okay. I should have locked the door." She reached over to Maddie's baby bag and pulled out the drape she normally used. She awkwardly pulled it around her shoulders and arranged it to cover herself. "Okay, I'm good."

Bucky turned slowly, his face beet red. He laughed shakily. "I know I've seen worse, but I'm still sorry."

Rayna blushed. Yes, he had. He'd walked in on her and Deacon in various stages of undress and even while they were making love. Occupational hazard, she supposed. "So, what's up, Buck?" she asked.

Bucky looked grim, shaking his head. "I don't think this latest guy's going to stick around. He's already complaining to some of the others."

Rayna rolled her eyes. "Really? Fire him then."

Bucky scratched his head. "I can do that, but we need a plan. We can't keep doing this, Rayna. You're going in the studio in two weeks and we need a lead guitar."

Rayna moved Maddie out from under the drape and settled her on her shoulder, lightly rubbing her on her back. Maddie let out a loud, lusty burp and Rayna grinned. "I don't know where she gets that from," she said with a laugh. She gave Maddie a kiss, then put her in the car seat at her feet, murmuring softly to the baby. She looked back up at Bucky, her face serious. "What do you suggest?"

Bucky lifted his eyebrows. "You won't like it, but I think you should call Deacon. I know he's available."

Rayna felt like she'd had a knife to her heart, hearing Deacon's name out loud. She knew he was back in Nashville, had heard he was doing well after the six month rehab program she'd put him through. This had been his fifth try at this. She felt embarrassed by that, both for him and for herself. She had no clue if he could make this work, but she'd given him his best chance this time. "I don't know, Buck," she said slowly. "I really don't think that's a very good idea."

"I know it's not ideal, but we don't have a lot of time. And you know he could fit in quickly. He knows everyone in the band. He knows you and your style. He's a quick study, so he'd learn all the new stuff in no time."

Rayna looked at Bucky sadly. "It would be hard, I think. For both of us, but maybe especially for him. It won't be the way it used to be. He may not even be interested. I don't even know if I want to do it."

Bucky shrugged. "Well, at least think about it. Let me know by tomorrow though." Rayna nodded. He opened the door. "Oh, and sorry again about busting in on you."

Rayna gave him a small smile. "It's okay." After Bucky left, she took off the drape and got dressed. She looked down at Maddie, fast asleep in her car seat. She kept thinking about what Bucky said about hiring Deacon back. It was a very bad idea, she knew. Teddy would hate it. The idea of him being around Maddie scared her. But she was kind of out of options. And Bucky made a lot of sense. Deacon was the best. He could do this. The real question was, would he, and she was pretty sure she knew the answer to that. She took a deep breath. "Maddie, Mama's probably a fool for doing this, but I think Uncle Bucky's right. I'm going to have to call Deacon. I just hope I don't regret this."

She sat for a while longer, then got up and walked over to retrieve her phone from her purse. She called Teddy first and told him she and Maddie would be leaving soon. Then she scrolled to Deacon's name. She hesitated. She wasn't sure this was a good idea at all, but she really was kind of desperate. She hit "call" and lifted the phone to her ear.

After two rings, he answered. "Hello?"

"Hey, Deacon," she said after a pause.

"Hey, Rayna." He sounded both surprised and happy.

Rayna squeezed her eyes shut. His voice sounded so good. She had missed him so much. This is such a really bad idea. She cleared her throat. "Um, how are you?"

"I'm good. Really good." He paused. "I never got to thank you. But I really appreciate…what you did. I know you didn't have to." He paused again. "How are you? How's the baby?"

Rayna looked down at Maddie and felt a wave of sadness roll over her, but she pushed it back and smiled to herself. "She's great. We're great. But, um, what I called about is…well, it seems I need a lead guitar player. Someone who can work with me, since I am apparently a real diva."

Deacon laughed softly. "You always were a diva, Ray."

Hearing him call her by that nickname caught her heart. He was the only one who called her that. She laughed a little though. "Well, anyway, are you available? Professionally, that is."

Deacon breathed in slowly. He knew he and Rayna were over, but he still missed her. He hadn't expected her to ask him back into her band. He thought that door had been completely shut. "Yeah, yeah, I am."

"Can you, uh, meet me tomorrow? About ten?"

"Sure. Where?"

"The usual place. I just want us to be sure before we agree to this. Okay?"

"Yeah. Sure. Thanks, Ray. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye, Deacon," she said softly, although he'd already disconnected. She looked down at Maddie and hoped she wasn't making a huge mistake.

The next day Rayna dressed carefully. She put on jeans, a white button down shirt, and a suede jacket. She pulled on her boots. She wanted to look business-like, professional, even though they were meeting at a picnic table along the river. The place where they always went to talk. She pulled her hair back into a ponytail and put in the pearl studs Teddy had given her when Maddie was born.

She was nervous but excited and got there early. She smiled a little when she saw Deacon was already there. She got out of the car and then started down the hill. Deacon stood up and turned to watch her. She felt her breath catch in her throat and she had butterflies in her stomach. She wondered if she would ever not get butterflies when she saw him. He looked great, a little thinner, but great. His eyes were hidden behind his sunglasses, just as hers were. Probably a good thing.

She hopped up on the table and he sat back down next to her, almost touching her. She threaded her arm through his. "Hey," she said.

He smiled. "Hey. You look great."

She wrinkled her nose. "I finally got rid of the baby weight. So that helps."

"How's your little girl? Maddie, right?"

Rayna nodded. "Yeah, Maddie. She's amazing. Best baby ever." She laughed. "Not that I have much to compare her to, but she is great." She lightly bit her lip. It made her heart hurt to talk about Maddie as though she wasn't Deacon's flesh-and-blood. "If we work together again, you'll meet her."

Deacon nodded. "I'm sure she's as pretty as her mama." He'd always thought he and Rayna would be the ones to have babies together, not Rayna and someone else. He wasn't sure how he'd feel about Teddy's daughter.

Rayna breathed in. She thought she needed to get to the business at hand. She pulled her arm free from his and clasped her hands together, leaning forward a bit as she rested her arms on her legs. "So, I'm in a bind, because I go into the studio in two weeks. You understand me and we've always worked together well." She looked over at him.

He was looking out towards the horizon. "Yeah."

"I'd like for you to come back to my band, Deacon, as my bandleader and lead guitarist. But…it's a professional ask. That's all it can be."

He looked back at her. "I know."

"Can you do that, Deacon? I'm married now, so all we can ever be is friends. I want you to come back. I want to give you this chance. But I need for us to be clear on that."

"How will, um, Teddy feel?"

Rayna shrugged and looked down at her hands. "I think he will hate it. I think he'll be against it. But it's my decision."

"I don't want to cause a problem for you," he said quietly.

"You won't. If you honor the boundary. I can handle Teddy." She looked at him. "Can you do that?"

Deacon was silent for a long time, working his lip. "I can do it. I'll be honest, it won't be easy. But working with you is what I do. It's what I want to do for a long time to come."

Rayna was quiet for a moment. "I want this to work, Deacon. We have a lot of history together and that might be hard for both of us. But I'm here for you. I support you. I want us to make this work," she said quietly.

Deacon nodded. "Three hundred sixty five days," he said.

"What?"

He looked at her. "Today I've been sober three hundred and sixty five days. One year since I had my last drink, my last pill. I'm going to beat this thing, Ray. This time."

Rayna took a deep breath. She could feel tears pricking at her eyes and willed them away. "I want you to, Deacon. And congratulations. I'm so glad you've made it a year." She moved to get off the table and Deacon stood up as well. "I need to get home to my baby. But I'm glad you're doing so well. And I'm glad we're going to be working together again."

Deacon stood with his hands in his pockets, a pensive look on his face. "Me too."

"Can you make rehearsal this afternoon? At two?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

Rayna stood for a moment just looking at him. He looked amazing. It had been a long time since he'd looked this good, without the smell of booze and sweat and sick. It made her wonder, again, what if. But it was too late for that. She took a step forward and opened her arms to hug him. He hesitated just for a moment, then stepped forward and let her envelop him.

"I've missed you, Deacon," she said, breathing in the smell of him. "I'm glad you're back."

He couldn't make his mouth form any words. Holding her like this was heartbreaking, knowing he'd have to let her go. But he was glad to have the chance to rebuild things with her.

They let go of each other. She looked up at him, squinting against the sun, in spite of her sunglasses. "It's good to have you back," she said again, with a smile. "I'll see you later."

Deacon nodded and then watched her walk back up the hill to her car.

He'd wanted to be angry at her, wanted to confront her with the fact that she hadn't waited for him this time. That she'd given up this time. But he knew two things were true. One was that she was already involved with Teddy, even before he'd gone to rehab the fourth time. He'd hoped it wasn't serious, kept stopping by her apartment, even when she'd tell him not to. He'd thought they still had a chance, because sometimes she would kiss him, even though she wouldn't let it go further than that. The second, though, was that she had told him it was finally over for good before she'd sent him off to rehab the last time.

He remembered that she'd met him at Sound Check. She looked awful, her eyes red with tears, her face pale. She had told him, loudly, that he'd run out of chances with her, both personally and professionally. That he had destroyed his reputation by showing up drunk, missing shows, with too many stops at jails and hospitals. And then blacking out to the point that that she couldn't carry him anymore. He was fired from her band, they were done for good as a couple, and she was sending him to rehab one last time. She told him if he didn't make it work this time, that he'd probably end up dead. Oh, and that she was marrying Teddy.

He'd stormed out, after calling her every vile name in the book. That was the last thing he remembered until Coleman picked him up at the jail. Coleman told him he'd gotten drunk, destroyed Rayna's apartment, and she'd called the police. He'd truly hit rock bottom. And he'd finally been scared.

He sat back down on the table. He took off his sunglasses and rubbed the tears from his eyes. He had realized later that she was already pregnant with Maddie when she'd fired him. That had hurt like a knife to the gut, to know that she'd really already moved on, just like she'd said.

He knew she wanted to be a mama. They'd talked about it now and again, getting married and having a family. But she'd always told him they weren't ready or that her career was the most important thing right then. One of the things he'd realized this last time in rehab was that her reluctance was because of him, because she couldn't depend on him. She'd been ready with Conrad, so it wasn't that she wasn't ready. It was him. He'd fucked up the best thing he'd ever had in his life.

She looked great. She looked relaxed, happy, younger somehow. He felt bad thinking about the pain he'd caused her for all those years. But this time would be different, he promised himself. He was doing this for her. He would honor her boundaries. For now. But he knew the minute he saw her that she was still the love of his life. And he was pretty sure she still felt the same way. In spite of Teddy and their daughter.

He was going to show her he could do this. And one day he hoped she would be able to see that and believe in it. And him. He was going to win her back.

He headed up to his truck. He really needed to go to a meeting.

Rayna headed for home. Seeing Deacon had been hard. She had cried herself to sleep every night for a year after she'd found out she was pregnant and had made the decision that she couldn't tell him about the baby. She'd finally stopped doing that, when Maddie was about three months old. She'd had to move on. But Maddie looked so much like Deacon to her and that still hurt her heart every day, that they couldn't share that. Would never share that.

He'd looked good though. She couldn't remember the last time he'd looked this good. He seemed healthy and strong. She thought the last time he would have looked like this was after the second rehab. After that, it had really just been a steady downhill march to where things had ultimately, finally ended, with her cutting him out of her life that day at Sound Check.

She wanted to believe in him this time. Three hundred and sixty-five days was longer than he'd ever made it completely sober. He'd been close before, but this felt a little like a hurdle he'd crossed that signaled things might be different this time. She sighed. Teddy would not be happy she was taking him back, but she felt good about her decision. There'd be no Rayna Jaymes without Deacon Claybourne. She'd said that at least a hundred times, mostly in response to those who'd wanted her to abandon him over the years. But it was true. She was better with him. Watty had seen it all those years ago and he'd been right.

So, professionally she felt good about her decision. But she'd known, the second she'd laid eyes on him and throughout their conversation and at the end of the hug they probably shouldn't have indulged in. I still love him. I will always love him. And now I'll live the rest of my days knowing that. While I'm married to someone else.