A/N: Sorry for the sucky chapter tonight. I stupidly wrote it while the hockey game was on and I could barely hear myself think over the family's yelling and screaming over the television. -_-

Go Jets, Go

Anyway, M rated chapter. Don't like don't read. You've had your warning.

Hope you like, review if you can, and enjoy!

(Matt P.O.V)

I really didn't know what had come over me. Mello didn't deserve to be yelled at like that, but dammit if I wasn't pissed! I had no idea why I was pissed… but I was! Something about Mello being with another person made me angry but I had no idea why it would. I don't know why it it made me angry to think of Mello with someone else, especially since we'd practically forgotten each other over the years. Yes, I'd wanted Mello to be my first when I realized how much I cared about him, but he'd already gave himself to another. Why should it have mattered? It didn't mean he cared any less for me. So why did this make me so angry?

I sat up in my room, sulking and wishing that I'd hadn't lost my temper both at once. Yes, it hurt to know that I wasn't Mello's first choice, but at the same time we hadn't even remembered each other until just recently. It'd been ten years after all, and I could have given myself up to someone if I'd really wanted.

…

…so why hadn't I?

I heard a small knock on the door but before I could answer it I saw Mello step through hesitantly. I was scared that he was going to end it because of how I'd reacted, but at the same time I almost wished he would end it.

It may have sounded cheesy, but I wanted to lose my virginity to someone who was also a virgin. I wanted it to be spiritual and loving, with someone who wanted to give me something so personal and intimate. I couldn't do that with Mello. I couldn't have something of his and him with mine. Someone already beat me to the punch and were we to do anything I'd just be adding on to the blonde's tally. I didn't want to be a statistic. I wanted to be special.

…and I couldn't be special were I with Mello.

He slowly made his way into my room and shut the door. "Are you alright?"

I almost laughed at the question. As if he actually cared.

I shrugged. "I guess. I'm sorry I blew up like that, though. You didn't deserve it."

He took a breath. "Maybe I did. I mean… I kinda broke our promise."

I jolted at this. "Promise? What promise?"

He hummed as he slowly made his way to my bed to sit down beside me. "I didn't think you really remembered, but we promised each other when we were kids that we'd only be for each other. That no one else would be with us and that next time we met we'd never let go of each other. Do you remember that? The chatroom where we made that promise?"

I thought for a moment or two before the memory of a chatroom came to mind. And I suddenly remembered how happy I was to be typing to the blonde instead of writing letters. I then remembered the promise we'd made, and I felt incredibly stupid for having yelled at Mello just half an hour ago.

I hid my face in my arms and pulled my knees into myself. "Oh god, Mello. I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have yelled at you over a stupid promise we made when we were kids! It barely meant anything anyway!"

"Obviously not." He commented. "Not if you were hurt by my breaking it."

"But we were just kids!" I reasoned, unfolding everything to look at him. "Kids make promises all the time that they don't keep!"

"But you kept it." He reminded. "You told me you weren't with anyone, that you barely dated anyone. I think you wanted to keep your promise to me, no matter how much we forgot about each other." He then smiled as he looked at me. "You're a loyal friend… a loyal boyfriend. It's one of the many things I love about you. Maybe it was a promise we made as kids. But you obviously intended on keeping it for as long as you could. I'm sorry I couldn't do the same."

"Don't be!" I demanded. "I was being stupid! We were young and naïve…!"

I didn't get to finish since Mello locked his lips onto mine and cut me off. I didn't even have time to think when his tongue invaded my mouth to dance with my own. There was something… different in this kiss from others. Something passionate and warm.

We broke apart for air and the blonde before me combed his fingers through my hair. He was gentle but demanding, practically straddling my legs now. There was something in his eyes that drove my heart into a race.

"Matt," he spoke in a slight whisper, "I don't care if we were kids when we made that promise. You kept it for so long even if you only did so subconsciously. How many people can say that about the ones they love? How many people can say that someone waited ten years for them to return so they could be together forever? Yes, we were children… but it obviously meant something to you that we be together. I only wish I could have done the same for you."

He kissed me once again but I backed away slightly to look at him.

"Mello… you know I want this more than anything. But… I just… I'm not sure…"

God, how did I word this? I don't want to sleep with someone who's not a virgin? Who cares though!? Mello had been my crush since… ever! I should be jumping on this opportunity!

He lowered one of his hands to hold my own. "I know you wanted this to be a first for both of us, and I know what you must think of me for not waiting for you or even someone just deserving of my virginity beforehand. But I need you to know that they don't matter right now. They were nothing more than wasted time. What I want with you is so much more than what I wanted with them." The hand he had in my hair gently slid onto my cheek. "They don't matter to me, Matt. You matter to me. And I want this experience to be perfect for the both of us. Please understand that."

I thought about this for a long while, making the blonde in front of me nervous. I think he thought that I'd reject him completely and leave him for good.

…

…but I couldn't do that to him… or me.

I kissed his forehead before I finally answered him.

"There's no one else on earth I want more than you. And there's no one else I want to give myself to."

I paused for a moment and I suppose Mello took this as a go ahead to do as he pleased, but I backed away yet again. I still needed to let him know how I felt.

"Mello, I always pictured… you know… that I'd be sharing the same experience with whoever I gave myself to."

He seemed to know what I was trying to say. "I promise, Matt, that this means so much more to me than simply losing my virginity. I know I should have waited a bit longer, but I know that it'll be more special than you think."

He kissed my cheek then, lingering slightly and making my skin shudder. I loved how soft his lips were.

He slipped a hand onto my neck and pulled me in for a deeper kiss. His tongue slipped into my mouth once more and our dance began anew. I still feared for the worst since the blonde knew more than I did in this subject, but I had to believe that everything would turn out alright.

His hand gripped at my hair slightly, pulling me in to deepen the kiss while his other hand roamed my chest and waist. I hadn't known what to do with my own hands until I finally relaxed under his touch and just went along with the flow. It was different to be doing all this and knowing the truth behind Mello's past, like there was no point to it anymore, but once I forgot about everything I'd learned and just focussed on how I felt with him at the moment… there was a strange magic to it all that I really couldn't understand.

Yes, Mello had given himself up to someone else entirely. But he was here, with me, and had patiently waited for me throughout our time together. He could have convinced me to do this much earlier but he respected what I wanted and waited for when I knew I was able to go through with this. When I wasn't scared or worried about anything in particular. When I was free of fear and doubt and I knew I could just enjoy myself. He wanted me to be happy, and I doubt he barely even cared about whoever took him first. Like he said… it hadn't meant anything…

…this meant something…

I snaked my hands under his sweater to glide my hands across his chest. I loved how perfect his skin was compared to mine. Flawless and unmarked, made to be felt and caressed with a loving touch. The blonde was a perfect specimen if ever there was one. And he was all mine. No one else's.

Just mine and mine alone.

I laid him down on my bed and my lips moved to his jawline then neck where I nipped and sucked at the tender skin, getting him to moan for me more than once. His breath hitching whenever I grazed my fingers past a nipple. I'd never seen him so loose and open before. It was amazing to know that I was the one doing this to him. It felt so right, so incredible, and so exhilarating! We'd barely even begun anything, but the mere thought of it sent shivers down my spine. To know I would share something as beautiful as this with someone equally as beautiful… it sent my mind and heart into a flurry of emotion! I even wondered, for a brief moment, if Mello was feeling the same way, but the look on his face said it all. Calmness, waiting, and a slight tint of anticipation.

I nipped at his skin again and heard a loud moan escape from his lips, causing me to buck my hips into his. Something about that moan sent me wild and it made him chuckle.

"Do you like hearing me moan, Mattie?"

I didn't answer, keeping my eyes shut and my thoughts clear. I knew he was trying to get to me. To make me buck again and lose my self-control. But I wouldn't let him win.

I nipped at his neck a bit harder and made the blonde moan once more, then shivered when I dragged my tongue across the wound I made. This time, it was his turn to buck and my turn to chuckle.

I got agitated at this. "Quit stalling, Matt! My pants can't grow any tighter here!"

I scoffed as I looked down at him. "You really have no filter, do you?"

Before he could answer I undid the button to his pants and allowed some room for him to… err… breathe.

"Better?" I asked.

His eyes narrowed. "Not by much."

I slipped his sweater up and over his head to lay kisses on his chest. All while trying to keep an intelligent conversation with him.

"Like you hate this treatment so much." I said in between kisses, dragging the tip of my tongue over his nipple once or twice. "I thought you said you like dominance in a man."

"I never expected it from you." He gritted out through clenched teeth, trying not to moan again. "You always seemed like a bitch to me – AH!"

One bite on his nipple shut him up almost instantly before I let go. "You were saying?"

He panted slightly before grabbing a fistful of my hair and made me look up at him.

"I swear to god, if you don't take this seriously…"

I didn't let him finish as I ground my hips into his and sent him back on the bed breathing heavily at the contact to his member. I knew he was suffering at the moment, but I loved how angry he got when he didn't get exactly what he wanted.

But I guess playtime was over for me.

I pulled my shirt off and soon got to work with his jeans, slipping them off slowly before tending to his arousal. I didn't do much though since I too was on the verge of no return, and I wanted us to finish this together if we could. To climax and live in a moment of pure ecstasy together.

I asked him about protection but he declined. He'd said he'd been tested, and since I was a virgin… well… there was just no point. But he did point to his pockets and asked me to use what he'd brought to make this more comfortable for him. Where he got small packages of lube I'll never know, and I'll never ask. Point was, he had them, and they were definitely needed at the moment.

Once all that was out of the way, I entered him slowly and carefully, watching his face contort into pain. This worried me greatly and I asked if he was alright.

His response was his legs wrapping around my waist. "Don't worry about it. Just keep going… please."

I did as instructed and reached as far as I could and felt something inside me break.

…I was here…

…

…with Mello…

…

…together in the most intimate of ways…

…

…

…I'd given myself to him…

…

…

…

…and it felt incredible!

Something came over me after the blonde urged me to go on with a slight buck to his hips and I thrust once… twice…

…

…however many other times.

It was so surreal… so magical. We were together - - embraced… god, what was the word? I couldn't think of the perfect word for this moment we shared together! God be damned if Mello had already given himself up! He was here with me! We were here! We were together! And I begged for this moment to never end between us!

I guess it never would if I so desired.

I felt a flash of confidence and power run through me and I brought the panting blonde into my lap, making him squeak slightly at the change of pace. I was still inside him, of course, but obviously this position made him feel more pleasure just by the look on his face. He'd even had to bite down on my shoulder to stop from moaning too loud at what I'd done.

"Dammit, Matt! Warn me next time! You hit me dead on!"

I chuckled at this and slowly rolled my hips against him. "Better than you imagined though?"

"I'll say… this much." He tried to focus on his words. "For a little virgin boy, you've got some major talent."

"Pfft, liar." I called him out.

He hugged my neck tighter as I quickened my pace. "I'd never lie to you, Matt."

(Mello P.O.V)

'Never,' I repeated in my head.

And I hadn't done so before.

The moment Matt had entered me I was on the verge of climax. He was straight as an arrow, on perfect aim, and knew what rhythm to work with me. I had to bite my tongue to stop from moaning since his parents were downstairs, but more than once my breath had caught and my legs went weak at his thrusts. If there was a god out there, he took some special time to fix this perfect angel with all the correct pieces. I hardly believed he was a virgin at all!

And then he brought me into his lap… and the pleasure… god the pleasure! Fuck everyone else I'd ever been with! None of them had me on the verge of screaming like Matt did! How the hell did this innocent little angel know so many sinful moves?!

Then he rolled his hips… then a thrust… then… then… god, I couldn't even remember all the things he'd done to me. I just remembered pleasure and pain, pain and pleasure, and a boiling heat in my stomach that engulfed me and made me feel whole.

Adrenaline, heat, friction, pain, pleasure, and finally…!

(Matt P.O.V)

An overwhelming wash of ecstasy hit me just as the blonde reach his own climax. I really just couldn't help it anymore. His moans, his soft whispers of praise, and how he followed my rhythm… it was like this moment was meant for us and us alone.

The blonde collapsed on top of me, our position having changed beforehand so that he was straddling me, and I hugged him close to me. Feeling his chest rise and fall as he tried to catch his breath. Thank god he was lighter than he looked, otherwise he'd have crushed me.

I rolled us over so that we were lying beside each other, looking into each other's eyes. Mello was still heaving, but he had a smile on his face.

He snuggled into me. "I told you it'd be special."

I chuckled half-heartedly, too tired to really do much else but drape a hand over him. "I should not have doubted you."

He cuddled into my warmth and hummed. "We have to do that again."

"I concur." I replied hazily. "Maybe in the shower when we go to clean up?"

He scoffed. "I'd say that's a low possibility… but I actually want to see how you do in a change of environment."

"I might just surprise you."

"You certainly did today." He admitted, placing a hand onto my chest. "Thank god I was your first. I don't think I could take it if I knew you'd given someone else this kind of treatment."

I blinked in slight surprise. "So I did well then."

He looked up at me lazily. "And you'd better keep it up. Not a lot of virgins are that amazing the first time around and usually need practice."

I felt rather cocky about this now. "Then it only means I'll get better than today if anything!"

The blonde lay his head back down on the pillow. "We'll see."

I hummed happily at this before grabbing the blanket and throwing it over the two of us for warmth. We were both too tired to speak anymore, or even move for that matter, so we'd have to pick up where we left off on the conversation tomorrow morning.

Maybe after our shower together.

Mello had been right about tonight, though. Everything we'd done… it was better than I'd imagined. It was more special than I imagined. And because we were with each other, things turned out so much better than I thought that they would.

And I was happy to know it was Mello who I gave myself to. I knew he cherished me much more than any old skank would have. Maybe I still wished I could have done the same…

…but it didn't matter…

…it never did.