The Doctor:

One girl was in the middle of a battle fleet, draining the weapons and the other was currently asphyxiating in space. Today was going brilliantly, as I was trying to save them both at once, while towing said war ship into the middle of dead space. "Dad!"

"Yes, you're the very next thing on the list, Galaxy Kaster." I told her as bits of the TARDIS console exploded. "Clara, keep running straight, there's an airlock right ahead of you."

My daughter was really having trouble. "Father help me!"

"Gee, I'm under attack from four and a bit battle fleets, while your best friend is trying to sort our turning all the weapons off. In case you think I'm slacking."

She wasn't actually listening. "Dad, I think there's something in my space suit."

Didn't surprise me, really. She played a game where she had a stamina bar last, so she slowed down quite a bit towards the end. I told her to play Wii sports. "Yes, that's possible, actually. You were too long in the spider mines." That did not really help her. "It's possibly a Love Sprite. Sucks your brain," pause for something else in front of me to explode, "sucks your brain out through your mouth, hence the name."

"It's halfway up my leg."

"Don't worry, it's just hungry. Clara, point the sonic, use setting four, I'll catch you." Then went back to Galaxy Kaster. "Describe the four most interesting stars you can see."

Galaxy hesitated while she looked at her surroundings. "There's a blue one, quite big. Two little yellowish ones just below."

Ahhh, right, so she went a little far from where she was supposed to be. Of course, she was my daughter. "Colour of whisky, smaller one blinking?"

"Yes! It's on the back of my neck, I can feel it."

Well, that was a relief. "Great! I thought asphyxiation would kill you first." Then went back to Clara. "Can you see a nebula? Can you see a nebula in a sort of wing-shape? Bit green at the end?"

"Yes! Yes, I can. They've found me, Doctor!"

"Great, I've seen it too. I wondered where it was."

Then moved the TARDIS to both catch Clara through the doors as she got sucked out by the airlock, before materialising around my daughter before she got the life sucked out of her by the sprite. Clara helped me to yank off her helmet, then I could stomp on the Love Sprite repeatedly until it was dead.

Clara was right on my back as well, Gee taking a moment to breathe and catch her breath. Her little wrist monitor was beeping like mad, making me awkwardly wrap my arms around her, knowing that physical contact was good for your heart rate, no matter what species. Her heart was always a worry for me. "How did we do?"

Thanks for that. "Oh, not a word about my spot-on materialisation skills."

"What about all the Velosians?" She asked, not even checking on her best friend. "Are they safe?"

"Oh, yeah. Well, I lured their attackers halfway across the universe while you drained their weapons banks." I told her, my daughter nodding after a moment, her hearts slowing down again. "Not to mention, I also saved an art student from having her brains devoured and being asphyxiated in deep space. So, now, if you don't mind, I'm going to go outside and wipe my boot on the grass."

Then headed out of the doors, both girls following as Galaxy Kaster enjoyed a nice big lung full of fresh night air, the sound of crickets around us. "What's to stop them re-arming and trying again?"

Not much, really. Hopefully common sense, but there didn't seem to be a lot of that left in the universe. "Nothing. But the Velosians will be ready for them this time." She just looked at me. "It's the best I could do, Clara. I'm not actually the police, that's just what it says on the box. Besides, I've got to think about Gee, remember? Got to put her hearts first."

That actually made Galaxy Kaster look at me, her blue eyes confused. "You're always talking about what you can and can't do but you've never told me the rules. Did I ever know?"

"Well, at first you were never going to come with. We never thought you'd survive." I shrugged, wrapping my arms around her again. My little girl... "We're time travellers. We tread softly. It's okay to make ripples, but not tidal waves."

"You are a tidal wave."

Tidal waves were everything that I didn't want to be. "Don't say that."

At which point a load of swords were drawn from nowhere, getting placed against our throats. Gee, obviously, went to attack them, that little bit of her mother in there wanting to cause chaos, but I stopped her. "Dad. Something tells me you went a bit too far back in time"

I had noticed that, love. "No, no, not Vikings. I'm not in the mood for Vikings."

The raiding party leader, a red-haired man with the biggest horns on his helmet, growled lowly. "You're coming with us."

"No, I'm not. Do you want to know why?" I asked matter of factly, making Gee look at me, before working it out and silently groaning. Uh, excuse me, I was a cool dad, I was a very cool dad, I had sonic sunglasses, thank you very much, young lady. "On my face, right now, more advanced technology than your species will manage over the next nine million years." The redhead just snatched the glasses and snapped them in two, so they fell sparking onto the ground. "Girls?"

"Yeah?"

"We're going with the Vikings."

Gee rolled her eyes. "Funny that, dad."

At which point we were dragged over seas by boat, most unpleasant way to travel, before two days later we turned up at their village. A very large metal horn was sounded and the villagers greet their returning 'heroes'. Myself and the girls were in manacles. A girl in boy's clothes ran up, looking at the ginge, who was wearing my broken sonic glasses like an eyepatch. "You're back! All of you! Are all of you back?"

"I suppose so, I haven't counted." Very naughty. Suppose one fell in and you didn't notice? I always made sure to do a head count when I had multiple companions.

"I'm back!" Another bloke hugged the girl.

She was looking at them all, counting herself as Gee struggled to keep up. I hadn't been able to give her the heart meds, Galaxy was close to cardiac arrest. "I had a dream you'd all died. It was so real, I thought I'd made it happen."

"Well, if it ever does, I'm sure you'll a find some way to blame yourself."

And gave her the parts of my glasses, making her smile after him. "I wish none of you had to go!"

My daughter looked at me. "Plan, dad? Any time soon. It hurts to breathe, and if I drop dead and regenerate, something tells me that I'm going to be called Loki." I told her to stay calm and to trust that I had a plan. Never tell a girl, especially one in my life, to stay calm. "You've just spent two days telling me that on a longboat, while I was slowly declining!"

"I do have a plan."

Clara rolled her eyes. "There you go." Then we walked past the girl, making both Gee and I stop to look at her, before we were jerked along. "You all right? Do you know her?"

"Never seen her before in my life."

"Okay, so, why are you staring?"

Why did I do anything? "I don't know. Nothing, probably. Too much time travel, it happens."

That confused her, so Gee explained, covered in a cold sweat, though she was still roasting inside her space suit. "People talk about premonition as if it's something strange. It's not. It's just remembering in the wrong direction. Dad, plan."

"We meet the boss man and we do the usual." Galaxy Kaster rolled her eyes, looking annoyed. "Replace him." The others were starting to talk to their leader. "To the primitive mind, advanced technology can seem like magic."

They both rolled their eyes. "It's going to be the yo-yo again, isn't it?"

Of course! "Yeah. It's in my pocket somewhere."

"We have travelled far and fought-"

By which point I took off my manacles and the yellow yo-yo, perfect for testing the gravity of situations, holding them both up. "Dad, what the fuck did you just do?"

I just smiled at my daughter. "Magic."

Only as I threw the manacles, they hit the Elder man in the chest, so swords and axes were drawn. "How dare you attack our Chieftain!"

"I am very, very cross with you." I yelled, not listening to them. "I am very disappointed. I have taken human form to walk among you."

"Who are you, old man?"

Galaxy was trying hard not to laugh as I kept on with my cunning ploy. "Do you not recognise the sign of Odin?"

And used the yo-yo. Bossed it.

"You are not Odin, and that is not Odin's sign."

Excuse you? "Oh, and you would know that how, exactly? Have you met Odin? Do you know what Odin looks like?!

At which point there was a giant thunderclap and the sound of a horn. A giant face appeared in the clouds in the sky wearing a winged helmet and a Virtual Reality eyepiece. "Oh, my people. I am Odin. And now your day of reward has finally dawned."

"Do not believe this foolish trickery!" Only my yo-yo then failed to go back up the string. Brilliant. "It's supposed to do that."

"Your mightiest warriors will feast with me tonight in the halls of Valhalla." Rays of light teleported down five large beings covered in armour, with alien guns. We moved back quietly while the Vikings move forward, giving me a chance to pick up my daughter, shaking and trembling.

"Hey, hey, look at me, look at me, Galaxy Kaster." Her eyes weakly fixed on me, the blue dark and dangerous even when she was this close to death, again. "Stay still. Stay very, very still. I've got you, don't worry."

Clara, while helping her best friend to rest her head on my shoulder, glanced at the face in the sky. "That's not really Odin, is it?"

Well, what did you think, really? "He hasn't even got a yo-yo."

"So this is an invasion."

"No, this is a harvest." Gee muttered, falling unconscious in my arms. "The strongest, the fittest. The weak and young, they'll leave behind."

An alien warrior scanned a group, then knocked down a few, before the fighters were beamed away. "We have to help them."

They were dead already, there was a lot more that we had to do and that was more important. "We have to not get chosen." But of course she didn't listen and ran over to the girl from before. "Clara. Clara, no!" And was trying to get her to use the broken shades to open her manacles. "Clara."

As the girl did so, more groups were teleported, then the aliens turn towards them both, registering the technology. "Clara! Clara!" Gee cried, ignoring her heart and pulled in my arms to try and get to her friend, but I held her tight. And with a bang, both Clara and the girl were gone, shortly before the aliens themselves. "CLARA!"

She dropped with that, her heart not powering anything as she buckled in my arms. Now that the others had stopped paying us any attention, I went into my pockets, digging out an emergency dose of her heart medication and jammed it in through the suit. It took all of three seconds for her to jolt upright again, going right to her feet. "Oh, that was so fucking needed, and so fucking painful. Clara, how are we getting her back?"

"We need to know who they are first." Then paused, looking at the way her hands were shaking, like she was so angry that she needed an outlet for it. That was something that used to happen with her mother, when she was her father. I wished that she was really mine, but I knew that I would always love her as though she was. But there was a lot that they had in common, I just had to hope that being raised by me made her strong enough to resist the darkness she inherited. "Look at me, Gee. Galaxy Kaster, look at me." She did so reluctantly, her dark blue eyes looking murderous. I knew that look very well. "We will do what we can, alright? We can't do anything until we know who they are."

She did not look happy, but she nodded as the rest of the village looked around in panic that all their warriors were gone. Gee was now distracted by the dragon figurehead, her hands level as she ran them along the carvings, probably working out how to draw it. "They took half the village."

"Yeah, and it was the good half."

"They went willingly to Valhalla as would we all."

One of the idiot looking ones with pigtails shook his head, the plaits swishing. "I wouldn't. Well, I wouldn't. I'm not good with heights." Wow.

"Oh, stop it!" Galaxy yelled, getting annoyed with them all. "All of you, stop it right now. Homo sapiens, you're an intelligent species. Stop lying to yourselves. Really, it's getting very annoying. Just look at Joey Essex." Who?

"Choose your words carefully, Hela."

She raised her eyebrows. "OK, yes, I did pretty much just die there, and yes, my mother is quite often referred to as Loki, but trust me. I think you'd rather face the Goddess of the Underworld than myself. The big fella in the sky, he lied as well as my father did. You all know it. Because what's the one thing that gods never do? Gods never actually show up! Believe me, I've prayed, and they never answered. Guess what? You got raided. Guess what else? I lost someone who matters to me. I only have a few of those, so you'd better help me get her back."

There was a moment of silence, before one of the blokes spoke up. "So did I."

I sat to the side with her after that, trying to keep her calm and level headed as I looked through my diary. Just as I found what I needed, Clara and the other girl appeared back. "Clara?" Gee asked, lifting her head slightly. "Oh, shit, CLARA!" And ran over and hugged her tight, closely followed by myself, hugging them both and lifting them up. "DAD!"

"We looked them up in my two thousand year diary." I told her, both of them looking at me. "They are called the Mire." Clara was doing that random opening and closing her mouth, making sounds that were similar to the beginning of words, but she kept stopping and starting. "They are one of the deadliest warrior races in the entire galaxy. But they're practical. They get what they want and go. You persuaded them to go, didn't you? I knew that you would."

"The deadliest warrior race in the galaxy?"

Galaxy Kaster smiled and slid the bone blades from her arms again. More Assassin's Creed, obviously. "One of them, yes. I mean, I could probably take them, but that's beyond the point. Why?"

"Because I think this village just declared war on them."

After that, Galaxy Kaster finally got to change out of her suit, moving far freer and less sweaty in the warrior clothes she borrowed from someones house. Well, I hope that she asked to borrow them, but you couldn't exactly be sure when it came to Gee any longer. We met up as a village in the longhouse, cartwheel chandlers holding candle stubs hanging the length of the roof. "They're coming here tomorrow, ten of them, to kill everybody in the village."

Einarr looked at his daughter. "Ashildr, is this true?"

The girl nodded, looking down. "It's my fault."

"Not every misfortune that befalls this village is down to you." Then he looked at myself and my daughter. "She thinks she brings us bad luck."

"What bad luck? You haven't had any bad luck. You're fine. Your worst luck is having to deal with Gee here in a bad mood."

Some stocky guy looked miffed. "We are about to be attacked by-"

Ugh, please shut up. "Yes, yes, yes, yes. With a whole day to spare! So leave! Hop it, take off! Into the woods, split up, hide. Hang about there for a week, come back home, make puddings and babies. That's basically what you do, isn't it?"

"We cannot leave this village."

Gee rolled her eyes. "Yes, you can. Just pick a direction. Fly like a bird, run like a nose. That's probably a Viking saying, I haven't checked that, and honestly don't care. I don't know if you remember, but they actually took away all your fighters. I'd fight for you, but I'm mentally unstable, prone to violent outbursts and I have congenital heart failure, right dad?"

"Very much right, Galaxy Kaster." I sighed, rubbing my eyes wearily. She'd been getting worse ever since she'd met her mother again, discovered that they were related. Being the descendent of evil was not the same as being evil, she did not have an excuse to act like this. "So, what are you? Farmers, fishermen, web designers. Maybe not that last one."

The new leader tossed a skin full of weapons onto the floor. "We are Vikings!"

They all cheered, so Gee rolled her eyes, again, and showed the two bone weapons of her own, sending them into silence. "Okay, tell me this. How many people here have actually held a sword in battle? By a show of hands? Mmm hmm. Yeah, baby." Only myself, Clara and my daughter. "The Mire are coming for each and every one of you." And pulled the blades in again. "So what you going to do? Raise crops at them?"

Some others got confused by her sarcasm, but Einarr got very angry at her. "We're not cowards. We do not run. A death in battle is a death with honour."

Again, there was a group cheer, but a baby started to cry. She may not have any maternal instincts, or any interest in people in that way, but she still knew people's minds. How to manipulate them. "Do babies die with honour?" Then she started to translate. "I am afraid, Mother. Hold me, Mother. I am afraid."

"Er, she speaks Baby. Gee speaks a lot now-a-days, it's a shame. I miss her quiet self."

Gee flipped her off, but kept talking, her eyes turning the same blue as her mothers. "Turn your face towards me, Mother, for you're, you're beautiful. And I will sing for you. I am afraid, but I will sing. Babies think that laughter is singing. Did you know that? I applaud your courage, really, even someone with my people skills does, but I deplore your stupidity. And I will mourn your deaths with my father, which will be terrifying, painful, and without honour."

We went to leave, but Ashildr stopped her, looking intently into her eyes. Time to see if she was actually fighting the darkness in her head anymore. "Stay. You could help us. I know you could. You're the one here with the most fight in her, I see in your eyes."

She hesitated, arms shifting slightly, before she shook her head. "I told you to run. That's all the help you need. And that's all the help you're getting. I am trying so, so hard not to fight. Do you know what it's like to live with that in your head? The constant urge to kill and maim and hurt people? It's best that you just let me ignore the temptation and leave now."

And with that she left, letting both Clara and I follow her out to find her angrily eating a chocolate bar on a bale of hay. I just went and sat down next to her, putting an arm around her shoulder to say I was proud that she'd resisted the urge. Clara just stared at us though. "The earth is safe, humanity is not in danger. It's just one village."

"Just one village?"

"Suppose we saved it by some miracle." I told her, Gee just chewing as she tapped her leg again, that four beats. As much as it helped her, giving into that noise could also be her downfall. Missy lost it, when the link between her, uh, him at the time, was broken. Why could our daughter still hear it? "No TARDIS, no sonic, Gee barely functioning beyond rage and heart failure. Just one village defeats the Mire. What then? Word gets around. Earth becomes a target of strategic value, and the Mire come back. And God knows what else. Ripples into tidal waves until everybody dies."

The baby was crying still, getting louder, more urgent as Clara just kept her eyes on us. "What's it saying?"

"She. She's afraid." Galaxy Kaster sighed, stuffing the wrapper of the Star Bar into her pocket, enjoying the peanut butter filling. "Babies sense danger. They have to. Mother, I hear thunder. Mother, I hear shouting. You are my world, but I hear other worlds now. Beyond the unfolding of your smile, is there other kindness? I'm afraid. Will they be kind? The sky is crying now. Fire in the water." Then paused, mouthing it to herself again. Oh, I could never resist a baby crying... "Fire in the water?"

The crying stopped them, the girl sitting between us both, hugging Gee, before putting a hand on my cheek. "You just decided to stay. The baby stopped crying. Gee, since when do you eat Star Bars?"

"Only thing he had in his pocket and I have to eat to take meds." And she got to her feet, letting both her blades come out. "You guys are so lucky I played Assassins after Pokemon. You'd be stuck with me trying to catch one of every species of animal."

We lined the men up on the grass about half an hour later, all of them holding wooden staves as I walked up and down in front of them. They all looked miserable. "So, when I say move, you move. When I say jump, you say how high? Unless it's across a gap of some kind which, of course, means you jump horizontally." One put his hand up. "Yes, what is it, Lofty?"

"Sorry, my name's not actually Lofty, it's Bro"

Gee threw a pencil at him from where she was drawing them. Obviously doing a real life for her art qualification. "No, it's not, it's Lofty. We've got too much to think about without everybody having their own names, so it's Lofty. You're Lofty, you're Daphne, you're Noggin the Nog, ZZ Top and you're er, Heidi. All very self explanatory names, if you're like myself or my father. Lofty, what do you want?"

Like everyone else did, he looked scared of her. "Sorry, sir, Miss, it's just, why aren't we practising with real swords?"

"Yes, perhaps you'd like to field this one, Limpy?"

The man who was having Clara tie a bandage around his leg. "Because we can't be trusted with them."

"That's right, yes." I nodded. "You'll be given your real swords back when you can prove that you can wave them around without lopping bits off yourselves."

"Heidi, why are your eyes closed? Because I will get in your head and compel you to open them."

He shook his head. "Sorry, Miss. Just not that good with the sight of blood."

That really made her angry, tapping faster on her leg. "No of course you're not. OK, half on staff training over there, the other half here with me. Hand to hand. Now, who wants to demo with me?"

So off we went training for a while. No accidents so I thought, stupidly, it would be safe to give them the actual weapons. About 5 minutes later, everyone was either on the ground or trying to put out the fires. "Well, that could have gone better." Gee sighed, wiping the blood from her nose where she'd been kicked trying to help the horse. Then Heidi groaned, sitting up. "Good Morning, my little cock."

"What happened?"

Really? "The Big Bang, dinosaurs, bipeds, and a mounting sense of futility."

"More recently, Chuckles hit Lofty over the head, on his helmet, with his sword, which knocked him out. There was a little blood, which you saw-" And out he was once again. "And did that. Only, the first time you did it, you knocked a torch onto some hay, which spooked a horse, who kicked open a gate, kicked Galaxy in the face, and er, I'm sure you can fill in the rest."

Later that night the Vikings started a party inside the Meeting House preparing for battle by having a feast. Like that was going to help, fighting a war hung over or with blocked bowels from eating too much at once. We were sat outside, Gee sketching again, her face, still swollen from where she'd been kicked, marred with both blood and charcoal as she tried to pretend that she didn't want to go up into that ship and dismantle them from within, not for the Vikings sake, but solely for threatening Clara.

"Weird sounding thunder."

"That's not thunder." I told her, looking at Gee's drawing of her friend, Clara with longer hair and her giant eyes. Seriously, was she a bush baby? "It's the weapon forges of the Mire. They're making sure we hear them."

Gee sighed at that, brushing her honey blonde hair off her face. "Heidi faints at the mention of blood, not just the sight any more. He's actually upgraded his phobia, and added me into it, so that's fun. I'm not even like my mother and people are scared of me. Chuckles, he questions every single order you give him, which is going to be a little bit difficult, a little bit tricky, in the heat of battle. I'd compel him, but something tells me that's frowned upon, if I use the whole army as puppets."

"I keep waiting to hear what your real plan is."

"Teaching them to fight, that's the only plan we've got."

That surprised Clara. "Turning them into fighters? That's not like you."

If only I still had that option. "Yeah. I used to believe that too."

"What happened?"

"You two." I replied, making my daughter pause in her drawing, looking up at me with bright blue eyes. "Oh, Clara Oswald, Galaxy Kaster Pratchett, what have I made of you both?"

She just changed the subject back onto what it started with. "It doesn't matter how well you train them, it's not going to make difference. Dying with honour, to them, will allow them passage into the real Valhalla, and that's the best they can hope for. A good death is all that anyone can hope for, unless they happen to be immortal."

At which point the girl came out of the house, looking at us briefly. "Sorry."

"No problem."

Gee waved, not looking at her as the girl looked solely in her direction. She was another person who knew stories. Ashildr knew words while Galaxy Kaster knew pictures. In another circumstance, another face of hers, they might have been friends. "Night."

"You've made an impact there." Clara told her friend. "She's nice. Fight you for her."

"I don't like relationships. I want meaningless sex powered by alcohol and then to pretend that it never happened." She replied, draining her drink, before looking straight at Clara. "These people all died hundreds of years before you were born-"

She shook her head. "I'm not running."

Why did Clara never make it easy? After everything that happened to Danny, I needed to make sure she was safe, I needed to make sure that they were both safe. "I have a duty of care."

Clara shook her head at me. "No, you don't, because I never asked for that."

"Every time we do something like this, I keep thinking, what if something happens to you? The two of you, you're not as unbreakable as me."

"Dad, I'm just as unbreakable in every way beside my human heart."

Oh, if only that were true. We had no idea how many regenerations you had, we had no clue on how long you would actually live and we had no idea how much time you wasted when you were with the Master. Besides, I'd never see you as more than a chubby baby who just wanted to draw on the walls in crayon. "Well, stop thinking about us, and start think about them, because you're missing something." Clara told me, making me get confused as she snapped me out of the daydream. "How you're going to win. You always miss it, right up until the last minute. So put down your sword, stop playing soldier and look for it. Start winning, Doctor. It's what you're good at."

So I left them to it and started to wander around trying to find what I was missing. There was something, there really was something, both of them knew it, I knew it, but like hell could any of us work it out. At which point I found Ashildr, who was in her own house doing something with a weird thingy as I watched from the doorway. "So, we meet again, Fake Odin. Valhalla burns around you, your army is destroyed and now it is time for you to die!" I cleared my throat, making her turn and face me in shock. "How long have you been there?"

Wait... Oh! "What's that? Is that a puppet? Oh, I love puppets!"

"I make puppets sometimes, when I'm-"

"Frightened? My, my daughter, Galaxy Kaster out there, she would do something similar. She's always loved drawing, when I went travelling during the week, she would draw what she thought I was doing, or she'd draw the stories that I'd already told her. Gee, she..."

"She was a sickly baby."

I nodded, remembering that first cardiac arrest again, how horrifying it was. Seeing that beautiful little girl in so much pain... "Galaxy Kaster almost died. What about you?"

She shrugged a little, playing with her nails. Gee and her, they'd be good friends. "When the raiding parties go out, I make up stories about their battles."

Oh, that was just the same. They could write books together, it would be brilliant. "Because if you make up the right story, then you think it will keep them safe and they'll all come home. That's okay. You're not the first person to ever have done that. I just told you that you my daughter did it."

"Why are you here?"

Not sure just yet. "I'm looking for something I'm missing. What do you think our chances are tomorrow?

"We will be cut down like corn. By this time tomorrow, every single one of us will be dead." Pretty much. You didn't stand a chance, there was no way that Gee was capable of helping you, not with how badly her heart was playing up since the flood.

I picked up an illuminated bound book, briefly leafing through it. "You could go."

Ashildr looked sheepish. "There's nowhere for me except here. This is my place. The sky, the hills, the sea, the people. Is there nowhere like that for you?"

Not really. I didn't even think that I could stay on Gallifrey when we found it, beyond fixing my daughter. "Oh, I like a nice view as much as anyone." The girl knew right away there was a but. "Can't wait for the next one. Showing Galaxy Kaster the stars and the universe."

"I pity you."

"I will mourn for you." I shot back. "I know which I'd prefer."

"You think they're all idiots, don't you?"

You might want to narrow that down a bit, love. "What, you mean the rest of the universe? Basically, yes, I do."

The girl was desperate to defend them. "But they're kind and brave, and strong, and I love them."

Love was a powerful weapon. If only it was strong enough. "Good. Good. But that won't save you."

"I've always been different. All my life I've known that. The girls all thought I was a boy. The boys all said I was just a girl." Be both then. Or neither. Gender was something that could change, just look at Missy. "My head is always full of stories. I know I'm strange. Everyone knows I'm strange. But here I'm loved. You tell me to run to save my life. I tell you that leaving this place would be death itself."

At which point her father came in, having been talking with my own daughter before she came and let me wrap my arms around her, feeling that aching heart through her skin. Oh, I needed to find a way to fix her, to stop her always being in so much pain. "I cannot keep you safe. I do not have the strength. But I will try to till the last beat of my heart." The baby started to cry again then, my daughter both in pain and laughing at something. "If you seek to mock me in this moment-"

"Oh, don't flatter yourself, she mocks everyone. I sing in the shower and she mocks me." I told them, before looking out the doors. "Is it us, or is that baby getting closer." Lofty was walking through the village carrying the baby. Sound the alarms! "Why has Lofty stolen a baby?"

"That's his child."

Someone slept with him? Ok, that was even harder to believe, honestly. "Oh. Where's he taking her?"

Ash shrugged. "The boathouse. He takes her to the boathouse when she won't settle. She likes the fish."

"Why would she?" At which point my daughter grinned and ran from the house, working it out seconds before I did. Oh, my Gee was very smart. "Fire in the water. Fire in the water. Fire in the Fire in the water. Fire in the water? Fire in the water! That's it. That's it. That's what I've been missing. Clara, we've found it!"

I ran out after my daughter, finding her already in the boathouse talking to him. Though she was looking very warily at the baby. Galaxy did not do babies, children or, in general, people. Give her a video game any day. "Lofty! I had no idea that was your baby. Hello, baby, I had no idea this was your junior parent."

"I'm trying to settle her. She likes all the fish."

The other three entered the room as well, our friend not looking at all happy about the way she was summoned. "You're shouting. What's happened? Did you trap your finger in something again, or did Gee insult someone?"

That got her a one fingered salute before she looked at Ashildr's father. "Chuckles, bedtime is cancelled. Everybody, off the hard stuff. Trust me, you'd have been stupidly hung over in the morning anyway, not worth it. We've got a long night's work ahead of us. I need a blacksmith. Who's the blacksmith?"

"I'm the blacksmith."

You let him loose with a baby and with sharp hot things? Really? "You're the blacksmith and you've got a baby too? He's been at it hammer and tongs."

"Doctor, Gee, explain." Clara insisted. "What's happening?"

"There's going to be a war tomorrow. And here's some news, this just in. We're going to win the hell out of it." I told them, my daughter already starting to draw up plans. "Ashildr, this is your village, and you will never have to leave it, I swear. I told you that we were basically doomed. Did no one in this two-horn town think to mention that you had eels?"

Gee smiled and kicked the bucket. Well, the ones with eels, not the other type. "I give you fire in the water! Electric eels!" The baby started to cry again, making her roll her eyes. "Someone change her, please. And why is there a baby near me? Babies are gross, ew." And this was how I knew that I would never again be a grandfather. My daughter seriously hated babies and people.

We got right to work with the doozy of a plan, with me giving everyone instructions alongside Gee starting to paint an old boat thing for what we needed. "We need to pull that silvery stuff out of Galaxy's space suit. We can use it to magnify the electrical charge. Stop looking confused! Look happy! Winning is all about looking happier than the other guy. Always walk briskly. Makes you a moving target. Oh, that's for Lofty. Lofty!" And threw the baby father the thing. "And talk with confidence, even if you're terrified." Clara was starting to explain her phone to Heidi. "Act as if you know their plan, and sometimes, if you're very lucky, they'll actually tell you it. Ah, this is for Ashildr and Galaxy."

Once nearly everything was done, I gathered them all around, trying to explain what everything was for and how we were going to win. "Then we deploy the anvil. Now, at this stage, getting me one of their helmets is key. We get a helmet, and this is over. Then we can mop up the rest using Ashildr and Galaxy Kaster's monstrosity."

They both pulled off the covers, showing us what they'd spent the night making. "That is rubbish."

Duh! "I know."

The following morning we waited by throwing a little bit of a fete, with horseshoes and dancing. As 'Odin' and the 'Soldiers of the Asgard' came in, Lofty tossed on of the metal rings onto one with copper wiring on there. "Hey, hello, hi! I'm the Doctor, this is my lovely if not antisocial daughter Galaxy Kaster. It's lovely to meet you face to er convincing hologram. You could always go zzz and get rid of it, no? No, on second thoughts, don't. That, that, that suits you."

"It is time to fight."

"No, no, no." Gee shook her head, blonde hair up in a ponytail, the blue dip dye vibrant. She'd always be blonde. It was a side effect of her human side, the woman who had her originally, she was blonde. Something told me that it might have been Lucy Saxon, before everything with the Toclafane. He had a habit of using the same people over and over. "We decided against that. We thought we'd just have a party!"

Our side cheered, but Odin glared. "Let me put it another way. You fight or you die."

"We're unarmed." Because Gee had been made to play Tetris and now she just wanted to organise things. "There isn't a single weapon in this room. Which I'm sure your systems are telling you. You wouldn't open fire on unarmed civilians, would you?"

"It wouldn't be the first time."

A horseshoe hit a Mire's armour with a clang, making them all look up to a mesh of wires attached to the cartwheels of candle holders in the roof space. "Chuckles, now!"

He hit a barrel of eels, causing electricity to run through wires from the boathouse to the Mire, and caused havoc. "Run, run, run-run-run-run! That's four down, six left."

The Mire obviously came after us, but Chuckes was ready and hit another barrel, activating the magnets. So their weapons got sucked up to the roof, then their helmets. On my command, he turned it back off so I could catch a helmet, the two girls catching guns. "Stand still. Don't move. Do not start talking, because I will shoot."

This gave me the time to dash behind the scenes, messing something up inside the helmet. "How's it coming?"

"Reversing the polarity of the neutron flow." I replied, then paused for a moment. "I bet that means something. It sounds great. Ashildr, Galaxy Kaster!" She came and sat down in a large chair, Gee sitting beside her. "Are you ready? Gee, the artwork?"

"I'm scared."

I just smiled at them both, kissing my daughter's forehead. "You were born for this. You are a team made in heaven. Show them a story they'll never forget."

Then I put a Mire helmet on Ashildr, my daughter standing to put her hands on either side of it to start linking her mind to hers. She was in control of the pictures, while Ash told the story. Odin gasped as the main doors of the Meeting House fell in and a strong wind blew out the candles. They could see a classic long-necked Wyrm coming at them, hissing. "What is this beast? It's impossible!" His men wanted to escape. "Stand and fight!"

The Wyrm snapped at them, their weapons have no effect so they withdrew. Just as planned. "See how they run." And then it was just Fake Odin. "That's enough, Gee, Ashildr. Story's over. Happy ending."

Everyone else started to laugh as whatever spell he was under ceased, the village surrounding Odin with their swords raised. Correctly, so it was nice to see that they had learned something yesterday. "What trickery is this?"

"Ha! Says the man with a fake face." I laughed, shaking my head. "But you see, that's the trouble with viewing reality through technology. It's all too easy to feed in a new reality."

"You got it? Great." Clara took the phone back from Heidi.

"A story to save a town, and a puppet from a nightmare. You see, you've just seen the world through the eyes of a storyteller and an artist. The mighty armies of the Mire. Brutal, sadistic, undefeated. Even I believed the stories. But after today, no one will again. An army like yours, it lives or dies on its reputation, its story. And today, you were sent packing by a handful of farmers and fisherman. Not to mention the whole wetting your pants and running away from a puppet debacle."

Clara was laughing now, having edited the video. "See, that was really funny."

I beamed at them all. "That was hilarious. It's just lucky that nobody recorded that. Oh. Wait a minute, we did."

"See, all it needed was the Benny Hill theme."

That was a good shout, actually. "The Benny Hill theme, yes. Now, you see, we could just keep this as a funny little film and play it every year at the Christmas party, or I could upload it to the galactic hub and get a second opinion. So the question you need to ask yourself is this. Just how important is your reputation to you? Here's a little sneak preview, piped straight into your helmets, free of charge."

My daughters best friend pressed a big red virtual button on her phone screen, letting him see the moment his army cowered away from a puppet. "If you don't leave right now, I'll put it out there for all to see and no one will fear you again."

"This humiliation will not go unpunished. We will meet again."

Only my daughter then appeared, using her little gadget that she had kept hidden for a while, and teleported him away. "I told you not to talk."

Celebrations started right up, the Mire ship shooting off into the sky as Chuckles went over to where his daughter was still wearing the helmet. "You did it, Ashildr. You did it. You saved us all. Ashildr." Only she didn't move, causing everyone to go quiet and Gee put her hand over her heart. "Ashildr? Ashildr!"

"Get the helmet off her. Get it off, now." Galaxy demanded, her eyes turning cold and hard as she tried to read her brain. Only as the helmet was pushed off, she shook her head, running out with tears in her eyes. "NO!"

"No pulse. I think. Doctor, is she dead?" Clara asked, looking back towards where Gee ran. "What's wrong? What happened?"

Oh, no... "I'm sorry. I'm really terribly sorry."

Then I ran out after my daughter, finding her in the boathouse, tearing up and destroying all the plans she had made with her, the girl she was actually civil to. "I did this, didn't I? I stopped her heart. Used her up like a battery, because it should have used up bits of both of us. My heart isn't strong enough though, it's too weak."

"You did not do this."

"I did! You don't get it, even if I try so, so hard to not be like her, to be nothing like her, I am! Daddy, you don't get it. You're good, you have always been good." She sobbed, shaking her head at me, pausing over a sketch she'd done of her and Ashildr doing the Wyvern together. "And I have this darkness inside me, it's been there since the day I was born and it eats away at me, day by day, it is there. She is still there, talking to me, she tells me what she would have done and exactly how to do it myself. It's so hard to keep fighting and to not give in. I do the right things, I help people, and they still die!"

"You did your best. She died. There's nothing you can do."

Her eyes went furious then, speaking with venom in her voice. "You know full well that there is a lot that I can do. You just tell me otherwise, ripples into tidal waves. Dad, I don't... I don't think I can play by your rules, I have to write my own. You don't have to fight what I do, and you can't know how it feels to have this ridiculous power that you hate. I am Galaxy Kaster Pratchett and I will do as I please."

I grabbed her arm as she went to leave, trying to make her look at me. Unfortunately, I regretted it the moment that I did. "What do you think that you are going to do?"

That dark blue that I knew as hers was lighter, paler, like pure ice. The ice that her mother had instead of hearts. "I'm going to save her and if you've got any kind of a problem with that, to hell with you!"

And pulled free of me, going to dig through the Mire helmet beside where Ashildr was laid out on furs, waiting for whatever she was going to do. I knew what she was going to do, but if I stopped her, she'd resent me for it and I'd lose her. Galaxy had been lost to me once, I would never let her go again.

Just as people started to doubt her, she pulled out the little SIM type thing, using her sketching pen to change some of the coding on it before blowing softly to dry the ink. "It's from the Mire helmet. Battlefield medical kit. I've reprogrammed it for human beings."

Then placed it on her forehead, biting her nail as it got absorbed into her. "It's gone. It's inside her."

"It's repairing her." She replied, her eyes both like hers and like Missy's all at once. "It will never stop repairing her, if it works. Come on, Ashildr. Come on. The story's not over yet. There is still so much art in the universe for you to see."

"Daughter, listen to me." Chuckles wept, stroking his childs hair as Gee finally came to terms with what she'd done. She had just cursed her only other friend. "This town has lost so much. If we lose you too there'll be nothing left."

Nothing happened for a long pause, then Ashildr gasped and opened her eyes briefly. "Ashildr!"

"She'll be conscious in a day, up and about in three. No swimming for a week." I told them, faking a smile as I supported my daughter as she sagged, all that work finally catching up with her. If her heart gave out now, I really did not know how to help her. "Now, we're going to need a longboat and some of your best rowers. We're two days' sail from the TARDIS. Come on, Clara."

"Wait, no. She'll want to see you both when she wakes."

I shook my head. "Oh, no. Well, she'll, she'll see us often enough once she understands." And threw another of the SIM things to him. "Second dose."

He didn't understand. "Will she need to take this?"

"No, no, no, it's not for her."

Clara frowned as well. "Then who's it for?"

Difficult to say, really. "Er, whoever she wants."

"Galaxy, thank you."

Her eyes weakly looked at the girl, shaking her head. "You shouldn't be thanking me. I fear I have cursed you worse than my mother cursed myself."

Then we left, reaching the TARDIS two days later as I carried my now comatose daughter towards the blue doors. All the while, silent as I thought about what she'd done, what she'd told me. Only I had forgotten that Clara was with us, sassy as ever. "Okay, it's official. Silence is even worse in a Scottish accent. Are you going to tell me what you're brooding about? What did Gee do that you were that worried about?"

"It won't stop, the repair kit she put inside Ashildr, not ever. It'll just keep fixing her." She thought it was a good thing. "I'm not sure, but it's entirely possible she has lost the ability to die."

"The ability?"

Just look at Jack. He spent a rather long time praying for death after losing everyone. He was there when his friend Gwen died in 2105, and her daughter and granddaughter and he followed the line right up until it ended in 3456. He reached a point where he was sick of living. "Oh, dying is an ability, believe me. Barring accidents, she may now be functionally immortal."

Then she remembered what else happened. "If the repair kit never stops working, then why did you give her two?"

"Immortality isn't living forever. That's not what it feels like. Immortality is everybody else dying. She might meet someone she can't bear to lose. That happens, I believe. It's why I'm happy that Gee doesn't like people. Less pain in the long run." I told her, carrying poor Gee inside her home, still thinking about what she'd been saying. "She was angry. She was emotional. She may have made a terrible mistake. Maybe even a tidal wave. Time will tell, it always does."

"Whatever Gee did for Ashildr, I think she deserved it. The fact that Gee actually got on with her-"

It was why it was worse. My daughter took the first step that her biological parent took towards the darkness, and because of that she would have to fight harder to ignore it. "Yes. Yes, she did. But Ashildr isn't just human any more. There's a little piece of alien inside her, so in a way, she's. In a way, she's a hybrid."