Chapter 21
It was early, Santana had only entered the house about ten minutes after two am when she headed home from work. Rachel had texted her that Aaron had finally fallen to sleep and she was crashing so after a quick shower Santana pulled on shorts and grabbed an apple when she heard the baby screaming. She quickly went to pick him up to soothe him so Rachel could get some sleep.
"Baby, please stop crying, momma's here." she whispered as she pressed her lips to his head. He was warm, not his normal cuddly temperature but burning up warm. "Oh God," she said quickly as she grabbed the parenting book and looked up what to do with a feverish two month old.
Rachel stumbled into the room looking half awake at best and trying to fumble on her robe but not doing a very good job of it. She looked exhausted, rubbing at her face. "Please stop crying, Aaron," she whimpered, stumbling to the crib with her eyes barely open.
When she didn't find him, she dragged them open all the way and glanced frantically around the room. "Aaron!" When she saw Santana flipping through the baby book, AJ in her arms, she nearly collapsed in relief. "Oh thank God, you're home. He's been crying terribly and I can hardly get him to settle." She was practically sobbing as exhaustion and emotional overload started taking control, "I don't know what's wrong!"
"Fever," Santana snapped, not even looking up. "He's running a fever." She had him up on her shoulder, "Is he stuffy? Coughing? Puking? Anything?" Santana's voice rose in panic, "He was fine this morning!"
"W-what?" Rachel stammered, trying to force her exhausted mind to work, "He wasn't running a fever earlier! I...I mean, he was sneezing a little and coughed a couple times, but that... that's normal, right?"
"Fuck," Santana groaned as she laid him down and pulled off his onesie and hat. She took off his diaper and picked him back up. "Let's give him a cool bath. Do we still have the baby Advil?"
"I...I think so," she chewed on her lip, following Santana into the bathroom and moving to fumble about in the medicine cabinet. She had to keep blinking hard to keep herself awake and certain she was looking for the right bottle.
"He's going to be okay, right?" she asked as she finally found it and dropped to her knees beside the tub, "Please be okay, sweetie..."
Santana settled their tiny child in his bath chair and started lukewarm water. "I hope so." Santana pressed the infant thermometer to his forehead and sighed, "100."
Rachel whimpered, handing Santana the bottle after she determined that she was not nearly alert enough to measure out the right dose. "I'm so sorry I didn't notice earlier, baby," she murmured, reaching over to smooth his sweaty hair back.
"He most likely just spiked it," Santana said as took the Advil. "I'm sorry you had to wake up... Do you wanna sleep and I'll watch him him?"
"No," she shook her head with a tired sigh, "I should have noticed. I can't sleep when my baby's sick, Santana." She fretted, standing up after a moment and brushing her knees off, "I'll make us some coffee and start looking for a suitable physician."
"Alright," Santana sighed and carefully washed her son. "We can call my dad if we need to," she offered, measuring out the medication and squirting it in the baby's mouth.
"Can we?" Rachel looked hopeful, "I trust him far more than I do the doctors here."
"Yeah," she said as she carefully ran a cloth over his head. "My phone's on the counter in the kitchen, speed dial number 2."
She washed the baby and attempted to cool him off before getting him into his towel that had a hood that looked like a dragon. "Come on, Aaron. You're scaring Mommy," she whispered as she held him close. She went and put light pajamas on him and picked him back up and took him into the kitchen where she could hear Rachel on the phone to her father.
"Mr Lopez, I'm so sorry for waking you, but it's about Aaron." She nodded, pacing anxiously back and forth with the phone pressed against her ear, coffee percolating in the maker and smelling like a stronger brew than she usually made. "Yes, sir," she sounded sacred, "I know, but he's running a terribly high fever and I'm worried something's wrong. No, Santana just came home and she has him."
Santana cuddled their son as she watched Rachel on the phone. She knew babies get sick, but she also knew that it was better that her father told Rachel that then herself. She heard her father's baritone faintly rumbling through the phone and smiled. When Rachel got off the phone she looked up, "Did he tell you that he was okay? That we can take him to the clinic if he's feverish for more than a few hours?"
"Yes," Rachel agreed, but she still looked worried and chewed on her lip, "but are you sure he's okay?" She sat down beside Santana and let her head rest on her girlfriend's shoulder and she carefully brushed her fingers over their son's head.
"No... I'm freaked out." she admitted, "but I don't wanna panic so hopefully the medication will work and he will be okay soon."
"I'm so glad you're home," Rachel whimpered, "I don't know what I would have done without you here to calm me down."
Santana kissed her girlfriend's head. "That's why he has two parents. To calm each other down, right?"
"Yeah," she whispered, barely holding onto awareness. "I love you so much, Santana. Thank you for being here."
"I love you too," she sighed and stood up carefully. "Come on, let's lay on the couch," she said softly. "You can sleep..." She pulled Rachel along and sat down. She was dead tired after working all night and being up with the baby early yesterday morning, but she knew Rachel was emotionally and physically exhausted too and she didn't want to complain.
"No," Rachel shook her head with a yawn, rubbing at her eyes and getting up to pour some coffee, "you sleep. You've been working all day to provide for us. The least I can do is sit up with our ill baby boy and let you rest." She smiled at Santana, tired but determined.
"I'm cool," Santana said as she rocked Aaron. She was worried about Rachel falling back into depression so she had been trying to make sure she got enough rest. "I don't need a lot of sleep. My new medications keep me up." Santana had seen a new doctor a few days earlier, they put her on a new regime of medications and antidepressants, but one of the side effects were insomnia.
"I want you to rest," Rachel murmured, sitting down beside her. "I worry about you and Aaron. I'm fine. Just rest for now."
"I guess we're both staying up then." Santana stubbornly stated as she turned on the TV quietly to not bother the baby.
Rachel chewed on her lip, her eyes flicking from Santana to their fussing son. "Can't you see that I worry about both of you? I don't matter to me, Santana. You two are the only ones that do..."
"And it's my job to worry about you and him too. So just sit down and shut up about me going to bed okay? Cause it ain't gonna happen while the kid has a fever."
Rachel blinked, biting her lip and standing up. "I...I just... I," she stammered, before taking a breath and gathering her disorganized thoughts and forcing back the emotions that still hovered close to the surface. "I'm sorry I didn't notice he was getting sick, Santana, but you don't have to get mad at me. I feel bad enough about it already."
"I'm not mad alright?" she sighed and ran her hand over her face. "I'm just worried like you and wanna make sure he's okay, just like you do."
"I know, but I can take care of our son," Rachel argued, feeling bad about the whole situation. "You don't have to treat me like...like I'm made of crystal or something, Santana. You just do so much and I don't even have a job..."
"I'm not gonna fight." she said sternly. "I know you can take care of him, you do all the time."
"I don't want to fight either," she whispered, slumping back down onto the sofa. "I just feel like I can't do anything right. I'm not helping to support us. I'm not going to school. And now I missed our son getting sick!"
"Stop," Santana sighed and handed AJ over to Rachel. "Just stop." She was frustrated, and she needed Rachel to stop. "Just... Just hold him while I get coffee."
"You can have mine," Rachel murmured, gently bouncing their boy, "I made it the way you like it by accident anyway."
"You shouldn't drink coffee and breastfeed anyway,." Santana reminded her, "but you can do whatever... And if you don't wanna breastfeed anymore just tell me and I'll buy formula..." she rambled as she took a sip of the coffee and sat back on the couch moving to readjust her member in her boxer shorts. "I just don't want you to feel like you have to like keep tabs on what each of us do. You stay home with Aaron and I work, that makes me less worried about him during the day cause I know he's safe alright?"
Rachel curled up in the corner of the sofa with their son, tucking her feet under her with a soft sigh. "I just don't feel like I'm contributing anything, Santana. You come home tired and just get upset with me... you don't touch me... I just feel like I'm always not quite measuring up." She sniffled, burying her face in her son's hair and trying to regain her composure, "If... if you don't want me here... I'll go, Santana. If you want me to..." She brushed her fingers through AJ's hair, whispering, "I don't want to, but I never want to make you unhappy..."
"I... I can't do this tonight," she groaned as she stood up and moved into their bedroom. She flopped down on the bed and groaned.
"It's okay, sweetheart," Rachel whispered trying to calm the baby as he started fussing again, trying desperately not to cry. "We still love you. We'll always love you. You're our miracle baby." She tried not to look towards the stairs or feel like her heart was breaking but it was hard, "I'm just not sure I belong here. I love you and your mommy so much, Aaron, so much, but I can't keep making her sad. I just want her to be happy and if...if I'm not part of that...t-then I guess I'm just ... not."
After a little while Santana sighed and continued trying to ignore the anger and sadness coursing through her body. She needed a release. She needed to go beat the shit out of something, get into a pointless fight or anything other than just stew. She reached down and gripped her member tightly, causing a mixture of pain and pleasure to run through her.
"Fucking hate you," she hissed at her manhood as she pulled at it. "You make everything worse." She started to run her fist over her dick until it was hard enough to pull out and start to jack off at a painful speed.
"I wish I could make this better, Aaron." The little boy started crying from how much the fever hurt, distressing the young mother even further. "I wish I could make you stop hurting. Please don't cry, please, baby..."
She was scared for her son. Santana was mad at her and she felt like she couldn't help anyone. She wished her fathers were there to bring her a glass of water and tell her she'd be a star. She wished she had a mother to call for help.
But all she had was herself. Her arms tightened around her crying son as the tears started to fall down her cheeks. "Please, Aaron, you have to get better. You're the only reason she stays with me..."
Santana groaned her body not responding because of her new medications. She tucked herself away and punched her thighs hard enough to leave dark bruising on her tanned skin. She got up and headed back down stairs and heard the baby and Rachel crying.
"Come on," she whispered as she brought a damp cloth and a water bottle to Rachel, "baby, don't cry." she pressed her lips to Rachel's forehead and put the cloth on Aaron's head. "I want to take him to the ER."
Rachel sniffled and scrubbed at her face with the sleeve of her robe. "Okay, I just," she swallowed, cracking open the water bottle and taking a sip, trying not to feel like she'd throw up if she drank any more, "I need to get dressed."
She gently handed AJ over to Santana before shuffling up the stairs to the bedroom. Once there she moved as quickly as she could to change from her pajamas to something half decent to wear in public. She was half-afraid if she didn't move quickly Santana would take AJ and leave her there in the house alone.
Santana got a blanket and put AJ into his car seat. She pulled her hair back and sighed as she pulled her hoodie back on.
Rachel came back down in a sweater that looked like it might belong to Santana and a pair of sweatpants. Making her way to the door she managed to get her feet into the canvas decksiders that she used as tennis shoes on the second try. Everything felt muzzy and slightly disconnected, but she shook her head and made herself focus. Santana and their son needed her to keep her head on straight. She didn't have time for feeling off.
Santana held out Rachel's jacket. "Babe, you look pale," she whispered and pressed her lips to the girl's head. "You're hot."
"It's just warm in here," Rachel mumbled, slipping her arms into the jacket and zipping it up with a little shiver. She stepped over and scooped up their feverish baby, cradling him against her chest. "Let's get our little man to a physician, okay?"
She sighed, "Baby, take some Advil." She grabbed another bottle of water and granola bars and threw them into the diaper bag. She got them into the car and drove to the ER, bringing them up to the counter.
"My two month old has a fever." Santana exclaimed as she looked over her shoulder and took Rachel's hand that wasn't holding the carrier.
Rachel hadn't bothered taking anything. She didn't get sick after all and it was patently absurd to take medication for no reason. She just shook her head and followed where Santana led, trusting her girlfriend over her own sense of direction at that point. She smiled vaguely at the feeling of Santana taking her hand, sighing softly and letting it anchor her.
"Can I get your names and how long has they been feverish?" The nurse asked, opening a new file for the infant.
"Santana and Rachel Lopez." she said quickly, "He's been feverish all morning." she looked back at the baby, "His name is Aaron and his fever is 101."
Rachel frowned confusedly as she suddenly seemed to lose her last name and gain Santana's. She shook her head, trying to clear it, certain she'd misheard. The nurse glanced past Santana at the girl behind her's behavior with a raised brow but didn't comment on it.
"Okay. Do you have a regular pediatrician already? And which of you ladies would be the mother of birth?" She didn't much approve of women getting married, but it would be her job if she commented.
"Rachel is," Santana offered. "Look, we just moved here and he's sick and I want to have a doctor see him. So can we cut the small talk and get to the medicine?" she hissed as she clutched Rachel's hand tighter. "Please."
"Ma'am, calm down. I have to ask these questions, so if you'll just stay calm and answer them I can get a doctor to you who knows what their getting into sooner rather than later." The nurse looked up from her screen with a stern expression.
"Santana," Rachel's voice was soft, "just...answer the questions."
Santana sighed, "No, he doesn't have a doctor yet. But I have insurance." she rolled her neck and rubbed her eyes.
"That's fine. If you'd like I can make a note that you have no standard pediatrician and try to get one of the doctors who have openings for new clients to check on you." The nurse looked over the information. "Okay," she picked up a clipboard and handed it to Santana, "fill this out and considering the age of the child and the degree of the fever, you are at the top of the list for the next open children's bed so someone should be with you soon."
"Thanks." Santana took the forms and brought them to a empty set of chairs. "Do you wanna hold him? I can fill these forms out." she asked when she saw him getting fussy in the car seat.
"Yeah," Rachel murmured, unbuckling him from his carrier and sinking into a seat, "Hush, little baby, momma has you. Please calm down." She felt faint, but she pushed through it, focusing on her child's discomfort and trying to calm him.
Santana filled the forms out and brought them back to the nurse and sat down putting her arm around Rachel's shoulders. She pressed a kiss to the other girl's neck. "Baby... You're hot too."
"No, I'm not," Rachel smiled lopsidedly, shaking her head, "don't be silly, I never get sick. It's probably just warm in here. See? I'm even sweating."
"Rach," she sighed, "you got a cold." she kissed her neck again, taking her hand.
"What?" she blinked muzzily, "That's not possible, Santana. I can't get sick. Aaron needs me. You need me. Being sick isn't an option..."
"I'll just get to take care of you both then," Santana smiled. "look I can take care of both of you.., you need to rest so you can help me every other day... Let me take care of you."
Rachel wanted to protest, but she was just too tired. She leaned over towards Santana, her head resting tiredly on the girl's shoulder. "You're far too good to me, love," she whispered, stroking AJ's back to keep him calm as he hiccuped tiny sobs.
"You're my girl," she said softly, as if it explained everything.
After a while they got brought into the back and settled into a room. Rachel was laying on the bed with AJ and Santana was sitting in a chair waiting for the doctor to come.
Rachel looked over at Santana as the thought finally occurred to her to ask. "Santana," she began, speaking slowly to be sure about her words, "why did you tell the nurse I was a Lopez?"
"'Cause," she said softly playing with Aaron's feet. "one day I want you to be."
Rachel swallowed, her fever making it hard to focus and she wanted to be absolutely sure she understood what Santana was saying. "What," she swallowed again, licking her lips, her voice soft and uncertain, "what do you mean?"
"I wanna make us legit," she said, not sure what part if her being a Lopez Rachel wasn't getting. "I want to marry you someday."
"Y-you...you want," she looked incredulously happy, "you want to...to marry me? Me? I'm," she looked at Santana, begging for her to confirm that this was not a fever dream, "I'm not dreaming? This isn't a hallucination? Some horrible teasing fantasy made up by my fevered mind?"
"Yeah. I wanna marry you." she smiled, and pressed a kiss to the girl's hand. "Some day." she rested her exhausted head on the bed and sighed. "When's the doctor coming?"
"I want to marry you too," Rachel whispered, squeezing Santana's hand. Just then, a young man in a lab coat carrying a metal clipboard came into the room.
"Alright, ladies. I'm Dr Cleary and I've got a note here saying you're looking for a doctor for your little one and that he's running a bit of a fever." He looked up and tsked as he saw the girl in the bed, "Looks like momma's a bit under the weather too. Let's take a look see at the littlest one and maybe we can sneak in a check for momma too, how's that sound?"
"He's usually really active and happy, but he's been lethargic and cranky all night and yesterday. My dad's a doctor and said we should bring him in..." Santana said as she sat up. "My girlfriend is sick too. They have fevers."
"It's probably just a cold. There's been a couple going around lately. Nothing to really worry about, but let's take a look anyway, what do you say?" He smiled charmingly at Santana and Rachel as he pulled a penlight from his pocket. "Hi there, little guy. What's your name?"
"Aaron," she watched closely as someone other than his family or Quinn and Puck touched him for the first time. Aaron looked like he was gonna cry, his arms reaching out to Santana. "It's okay, mijo." she whispered as she held Rachel's hand.
"Don't worry, he'll be fine," the doctor smiled at the boy, leaving him in Rachel's arms, "Right, Aaron?" He flicked the light on and peered down the boy's throat with the help of a tongue depressor, "Well, good news is I see no signs of strep down here. Let's check his ears," he returned the light to his pocket, tossing out the depressor and reaching for the otoscope in the rack on the wall. "So what are you girls doing down here in New Orleans with this handsome boy?"
"Needed a new scene." Santana said, pressing a kiss to her son's squirming feet. "And school." she continued less than interested in small talk. "Rachel sings so when you check her out check her throat extra hard." She smiled at her girlfriend, "She likes to think she never gets sick."
"I don't," Rachel pouted, shifting further up in the bed.
The doctor chuckled, "Don't worry, Ms. Lopez, I'm sure it's nothing more than a standard fever for both of them. Still, open up and say ah so we can relieve your little woman, hey?" he suggested, pulling out the light and a tongue depressor again and turning to Rachel.
Santana took the infant in her arms and watched the doctor work on Rachel. She pressed soft kisses to her son's head. "They'll be ok soon?"
"Absolutely," he replied, clicking off the light and tossing the depressor away. "Most important thing for these two is to make sure they get plenty of fluids and rest. I'm sure they'll be fine in a couple of days. So," he scribbled a couple of things down on the chart, "I understand you might also be looking for a primary for Aaron here. Is that correct?"
"Yeah. The only doctor we found is mine and she doesn't work with kids," Santana said as she readjusted her son. "Do you take patients?"
"Well, I certainly wouldn't be asking if I weren't," he laughed, closing the clipboard and setting it aside before taking a seat on the room's stool. "Though I must admit I'm not strictly a pediatrician. I'm a general physician, though I've taken enough courses in pediatric care to call it a specialization." He nodded at AJ cradled in Santana's arms, "The boy takes after you enough to make me think you're directly related, though your paperwork says Rachel here is the mother of birth. Forgive me for asking, but who donated the male portion. A brother or..."
"Dude. None of your business." Santana snapped as she started to gather up their stuff and put the baby back in the car seat. "Are we done here?" she said with a tight jaw.
"Santana," Rachel's voice was soft as she reached for her girlfriend's wrist, "please. We need a doctor for Aaron and there maybe a cause for his question. Am I wrong, Dr Cleary?"
He shrugged, "I'd be lying if I didn't say part of it was curiosity, but frankly, knowing the paternal heritage of little Aaron could be helpful. Particularly if he develops an illness later that could be more easily diagnoised by knowing his father and being able to ask. Ms Lopez, if," he licked his lips attempting to couch his statement as gently as possible, "perhaps Aaron's parentage is more...direct, shall we say, I certainly won't judge you for it. Nurse Caldwell maybe be a bigot, placing gay couples with what doctors she thinks low enough to... handle them, but occasionally that bigotry serves a better purpose."
"He's... he's ours, you think two 18 year olds are really out trolling for sperm?" she scoffed and avoided eye contact, not at all comfortable in the moment. She was shaking slightly at the thought of being honest about her son's birth.
"To be honest, I rather thought that was the case, though I had thought you girls a bit older than just eighteen." He straightened from his seat on the chair. "I've a cousin who crosses. Not the same as yourself, I've no doubt, but knowing her or well, him depending on the day, gave me a damn good reason to not hate people just be cause things aren't as I might think they should be for whatever stupid reason. You're the boy's parents, and that's good enough for me. Now," he helped Rachel down off the bed, "are you interested in a doctor still almost fresh from residency serving as your family's primary general, Ms Lopez?"
He smiled hopefully at Santana.
Santana scowled, "Don't cross. I'm a girl." she huffed as she places the pacifier if Aaron's mouth. "If Rachel wants you it's fine."
The doctor blinked, "I never said you did, Ms Lopez. I said my cousin does. But you shouldn't need any further aid. Just keep these two restful as you can and make sure they get plenty of fluids and your family will be well."
Santana nodded. "Follow up visits?" she asked softly, relenting to allowing him to be their doctor.
"One week from now," he pulled a card from his pocket and handed it to her. "And if the fever worsens or either mother or child develops a worsening cough or loses their voice, call me. Night or day, Ms Lopez. My cell's on there if you need it."
"Thanks," Santana said as she helped Rachel up and moved to pick up the carrier.
Santana drove home and settled Aaron on his crib and helped Rachel to their bed.
"Santana?" Rachel whispered as the girl started to pull away, "I know I'm hot, but will you please stay with me?" she smiled tremulously, "At least until I fall asleep? I've missed you..."
Santana nodded, she slipped her hoodie off and threw it on the floor before slipping into bed with Rachel. "I've missed you too... It's been hard - with work and the new meds - to feel attached to anything... I'm sorry if I'm ignoring you."
"I just want to know I'm still wanted, Santana," Rachel whispered, cuddling in against her girlfriend. "I didn't know your meds were affecting you like that because you don't talk to me about how you feel."
"I'm not used to someone else caring..." she admitted, "I'll be okay when they settle in... I wish you told me you weren't feeling great, I could have stayed home last night."
"I'm not used to getting sick," Rachel shrugged, pouting slightly, "I believed I was fine."
"I should have been home earlier to be here for you and him." Santana said, "I'm gonna give Quinn my shift tomorrow night so I can watch Aaron while you rest."
Rachel rolled over and buried her fevered face in Santana's chest. "It's not your fault," she mumbled, "don't blame yourself. You've been taking such good care of us, Santana. It's okay if things go wrong now and then. I know you'll be home soon to help me fix them." She looked up, smiling weakly, "Just like you were today. I love you. Thank you for caring so much about us..." Her voice trailed off as she started losing her fight against falling asleep, her arms wrapped loosely around her girlfriend's waist.
"Go to sleep baby." she whispered, "I'll be here when you wake up." she wrapped the blankets around them and turned on the baby monitor and just help Rachel, she softly hummed in hr ear until she felt her breathing even out.
When Rachel woke up a couple of hours later, the other side of the bed was empty and her head was pounding fiercely making her whimper. Trying to breath past the pain, she carefully swung her legs over the side of the bed and dragged her robe on to try and find her lover and check on her son. As she shuffled out into the hall, a tiny smile curled her lips as soft strains of song and a faint scent of cooking vegetables reached her.
Her eyes barely open, she kept one hand on the wall as she made her way down the stairs and into the kitchen. She could see Santana stirring a pot as she sang, AJ lying in his playpen behind her in nothing but a diaper. "Is he," she has to stop and clear her dry throat before her words were audible, "is he feeling any better?"
Santana looked up and smiled softly. "Hey." she said, "I'm making you soup." she explained as she looked up from the pot. "He's stuffy and still feverish but I gave him some Advil and he's doing okay. How are you feeling?"
"I feel like the morning after my train wreck of a party junior year," Rachel mumbled shuffling over after checking on AJ to wrap her arms around Santana's waist and rest her fevered head against the relative coolness of her girlfriend's back with a soft sigh, "with the added enjoyment of a fever on top of it. I'm so glad you're home today..."
"My boss understands. Sick baby and sick woman trump work." she said softly as she grabbed the liquid Advil off the counter and poured a dosage cup for Rachel. "Take this please it will help you feel better." she held the cup to Rachel's lips. "It's for your stuffy nose and sore throat too, I picked it up when I got Aaron's medication."
"Andre's sweet. I'll bake him a plate of my famous thank you sugar cookies when I'm better," she mumbled, drinking the bitter concoction and grimacing at the taste. "And that is awful. I'll stick with my herbal supplements and teas I think."
"That's okay but this is more for fever." she explained as she turned the soup to simmer. "Want to go sit on the couch and I'll bring you tea?"
"Can I just stay here?" Rachel asked, burying her face back into Santana's back, "I feel better when I'm close to you..."
"Babe, I'll be right in." she said softly as she turned around to hug Rachel. "I'll watch Funny Girl with you... or do anything that will make you feel better."
"I just want to stand here with you and AJ for a bit." Rachel pouted, looking up at Santana pleadingly, "Can I please? I feel like I've been lying down forever and it's bright in the living room."
"Alright, baby." Santana said softly. She flipped the switch on the kettle and wrapped her arms around the girl's shoulders. "You'll be okay soon, I think it's a 48 hour thing."
"I highly disapprove of being ill, Santana," she whined into Santana's shoulder. "It should definitely be against the rules. I can't do anything!"
"I know, but at least you can tell me what's wrong. Our poor son can't tell us how he feels and, by the way, you need to feed him. He wouldn't take the bottle earlier."
Rachel leaned back and smiled wearily, "At least there's one thing I can still do, right?" She pulled away and shuffled over to AJ, picking him up and making her way to a chair. "Hey there, sweetie. You hungry?"
She fumbled with the sweater she was wearing for a moment before finally shrugging out of her robe and just pulling it off. Slipping a breast from her bra, she held AJ up to it so he could suckle. Sighing softly as he latched on, she leaned back in the chair and stroked his hair. "He's getting so big," she whispered, smiling down at him.
Santana watched from across the kitchen as she made Rachel's tea. "I know. Though he's still frigging tiny for a baby. I saw another kid his age the other day and it was like three times the size of him!" Santana stirred the tea and brought the mug over to Rachel with a smile. "Drink this."
Rachel wrapped a hand around the mug with a grateful smile, taking a sip before setting it on the table. "We're small, so he'll be small too. But he looks so much like his mommy. Don't you, sweetie?"
"I wanted to kick that doctor in the balls. I need to be careful about what I wear evidently cause I look like a dude and have ceased to pass as a chick." Santana sighed and looked over to Rachel.
"Nonsense, Santana. All he did was note AJ's resemblance to you while you were holding him." Rachel looked up at Santana and smiled, "You're a beautiful woman, love. Having different parts doesn't make you less. It just makes you even more special and amazing." She blinked slowly, looking slightly dreamy, "And besides, you're my girlfriend and I don't want to spend my life or raise my family with anyone else. Ever."
"I know." Santana said softly as she knelt down and kissed her son's head as he suckled. "I love you and our boy, I just hate when people decide to make assumptions about how he got here."
"Well, he would need to know at some point if he's going to be Aaron's primary," Rachel explained as reasonably as she could while sick and her head still throbbing uncomfortablly. "Most people don't make that assumption and you could have told him his father was an imaginary brother of yours. And he's not judging you for being the other half of our son or anything..."
"I know..." she sighed and looked up, "I just don't want people asking forever if he's biologically yours or if a brother spermed for him..." she stood back up and went back to the stove. "It's not a big deal, I'll get over my issues."
"It is a big deal," Rachel insisted. "You want to be able to claim your son as yours. And I want that too. Dr Cleary needed to know as Aaron's primary, but no one, and I mean no one, else matters. People can ask whatever they want and I can ignore them forever because I know the truth. I know he's our son and that's all that matters to me, Santana."
She looked up at Santana, willing her to understand, "It is a big deal though. And your issues are mine the same way mine and Aaron's are yours. That's how a family works, right? We support each other..."
"I love you," Santana smiled as she took in her girlfriend's words. "I love you and our son and you're right fuck everyone else. All I care about is you two."
Rachel smiled, though she was still pale and sweating slightly with illness. "I love you too. You and Aaron are my number one priority. The people who matter know and are happy for us. So everyone else can go jump in the ocean because our family is going to be happy and healthy in spite of what anyone else might say. Present situation excluded of course."
"Totally," she said as she took Aaron to burp him. "Let's go lay in bed and watch TV okay?" she offered her hand to Rachel and smiled.
Rachel smiled and took a breath before reaching out and accepting Santana's help to her feet. She picked up her mug of tea before leaning up and kissing Santana softly. "That sounds wonderful, Santana. I," she paused as a thought occurred to her, "I hope we don't get you sick..."
"It'll be worth it," she said before helping Rachel up the stairs as she held AJ. She helped her lover into the bed and grabbed the remote and laid in bed with Aaron on her chest. "Movie?"
"Whatever you want," Rachel yawned, snuggling in close, their tired and sick son snuggled between them. "I just want to lie with my family for a little while and I'll probably fall asleep anyway."
Santana put on Aladdin and wrapped the blankets around the three of them before muffling a sneeze. "This way we can nap," she explained as she cuddled into her girl.
"Good," Rachel sniffled, cuddling her girlfriend and son, half-awake, "but don't think I missed that sneeze." She yawned big, "You need to take care of yourself too. We can't all be sick."
"I'm fine." she said softly before running her hand up and down her baby's bare back. "We'll all be okay in a few days."
"If you get sick," Rachel mumbled, snuggling close as she started to fall asleep, "I'm taking care of you. Both of you. Cause I'm supposed to take care of my family..."
"I know, baby," Santana whispered, "just get some sleep." she smiled and watched Rachel drift off.