mmkay so welcome back guys. thanks to everyone who reviewed this as well as the outtakes.
we're back and it's post 'I Hate You' which was a tough piece to write, and totally depressing. Ron's temper got way out of control and he said something he really didn't mean. after he lost the custody battle, some... stuff... came up, so some time has passed in this chapter and he is coming home again, to Middleton, but he needs a place to stay.
Can you hear when we call?
Where were we fall?
Standing our backs against the wall.
At the top of our lungs, how far we've come
where pain and love bleed into one ;
All that we need, it's so bitter sweet
The pain that opens our eyes to see
Baby when all you see is darkness...
We all need forgiveness...
~Mat Kearney, Down
SPOV
"What do you want now, Captain Underpants?" I open the door to find my favorite buffoon standing dejectedly in the rain.
"For fuck sake," he mutters, not bothering to glare at me as he flips me off. "Look, I need a place to stay a while until I find an apartment."
I sigh. Stoppable is a fucking idiot! "You dolt," I tell him with a smack to the back of his head as he walks through the door of my house. "Wait, does Kim know you're staying here?"
"She doesn't need to know jack shit about me or where I'm staying. I'm letting her stay in the house, paying her fucking utilities, giving her child support, she kept my sister...what the fuck else does she want?"
I raise my eyebrows. I didn't realize the break-up was so hostile. "I'm asking because she broke up with you, not me, asshole. I'm not getting caught in the middle of you two. She's already pissed at me as it is."
He sighs and his shoulders slump. "I'm sorry... I didn't realize it would cause problems between the two of you. I'll book a hotel—"
"No no. Come in. You're my friend too, you know," I tell him honestly. "You can stay here as long as you need. By the way, the girls have rooms here, so if you get weekend visitation or whatever—"
"That's... really sweet of you." He pads through the house and rummages through the fridge for a beer. "Hey thanks for letting me stay."
"Make yourself at home," I tell him sarcastically, and he smirks.
We hang out on the couch in silence for a while, each of us with a beer. "What happened?" I finally ask, because I'm bursting with curiosity. Last time I talked to her she refused to say anything on the topic and hung up on me after calling me a traitorous bitch. I guess I deserved that... I mean, I knew that knowing where he was and side-kicking for his plans would put me on her shit list.
His shoulders slump. "I don't know. We were okay at first. I thought maybe there was a chance I could earn her trust back... but then you and me had to go back to finish what we started and... every single day, I'd call her, or she'd call me, and we'd argue. Sometimes it was over something stupid, sometimes it was over my missions... she stopped saying 'I love you'... she wasn't happy, and for once in my life no amount of joking or buffoonery or kisses or sweet talk could put a smile on her face..." He sighs. "She started talking about 'if I were back home this' or 'Saul and I that'... and the day we broke up I might have insinuated that she was better off fucking that pansy anyway..."
"You idiot! Did you seriously say that?" I smack him in the back of his head again.
"I didn't mean it," he says dully. "It just fucking stings to be talking to your girl and her her go on and on about some other douche. Especially 'cause sparring was always our thing, you know?"
"Your thing?"
He grins sheepishly and his cheeks turn a light pink. "Well we always were training together and stuff... and she used to wear those fucking tight yoga pants or whatever with those tops she likes to wear, the ones that end just above her rib cage... and then she'd get all sweaty and flushed, and her hair would stick to her neck and it'd be so sexy..."
"Okay, tooooooo much information!"
"Sorry."
"So you got jealous that she was turning on some other unfortunate douche and not you?"
He shrugs.
"You really are an idiot," I tell him, my voice full of sarcastic amazement.
"Shut the fuck up," he mutters.
"You're such a gentleman."
He looks thoughtful. "You know, maybe I was at some point. But did you really think that would actually last?"
I chuckle. "In retrospect, probably not."
We're silent for a while before he speaks. "I miss her." He wraps his arms around his knees, and he looks almost like the insecure buffoon he was in high school. I watch him with a mixture of sadness and anger. He shouldn't be like this... this lonely, this broken. He should be happy with a hot redhead crime-fighting cheerleader for a wife and his sister and his daughters.
"Does it get any easier?" He asks me, his voice hoarse.
My fists clench. "Oh it will." It will if I have to kick Kimmie's ass from here to Lorwardia, wherever the fuck that is.
"Open this fucking door, Princess, before I break it!" I've been knocking for a good ten minutes. Or maybe it's more like banging and threatening to kick it down. Whatever, I know she's here but she's ignoring me.
"Stop cussing and go away before I call the cops!" comes the furious answer.
"Kimmie I've got plasma and I'm not afraid to use it! Open the door."
She finally opens the door and steps out side. Her gaze is icy and her fists are clenched. Her breath is coming hard. "What are you doing here?"
"Amp down, Cupcake."
"The hell I am!"
"Oooh. Look at you, taming your tongue. You know you edited that." I smirk at her, deciding to tweak her a bit. She's hilarious when she's pissed.
She glares and her fists clench again. "Get the fuck off my property," she hisses at me.
I smirk again, casually letting my hand ignite as I lean on one of the posts of the porch. "Actually, it's Stoppable's property. And we need to have a chat about him because his moping is seriously pissing me the fuck off."
She growls, and her eyes flash. "He's staying with you?" She gives a humorless chuckle. "Of of course he is! Son of a bitch left me to go destroy things with you, didn't he?"
"Don't fucking talk about him or his mom that way," I hiss at her. "You don't know anything about what he's going through."
"And I don't care," she spits viciously, making for the door. "You two deserve each other," she says before attempting to slam the door.
My hand, still lit, stops the door. "I don't think so, baby cakes. You and me are going to settle this."
"How about hell the—"
"Kimmie, who's at the door?" a small voice asks, and my hand flames out with a whoosh.
"Nobody important, baby girl," She says to the little girl behind her. Then she turns back to me. "Nobody at all," she says quietly, and then she closes the door.
I sigh and sit down on the steps, letting the rain drench my hair. That went well.
KPOV
I make sure the girls are all ready and all their clothes are packed. They're spending the weekend with Ron, and I'm getting some much-needed R&R.
Ron. What I can't believe is that the asshole had the nerve to file for custody of Hana. The court smacked him down, obviously, but still. Why would he put her through a custody battle? He's the one that left her. She's perfectly happy with me.
It makes me sad sometimes... that a lifelong friendship and a love like we had could end with so much hate. I miss him.
That doesn't mean I don't hate him. Just thinking about him makes my blood boil. Him and— "What are you doing here?"
"Ron is on his way home from a mission. He asked me to pick up the girls."
I glare at her. She's the other one that makes my blood boil. I thought of her as a big sister, as a friend... and it turned out that she was in on Ron's little revenge plan. Now she's his babysitter? "What, are you fucking him now, too?"
"Wouldn't you like to know," she snarks at me. "Look, I get that you're pissed at him and at me, but these girls don't need your negative energy and your bullshit. Now hand 'em over, he's going to be back in half hour and I'm taking them for ice cream."
"I'm not letting my kids go anywhere with you."
"Auntie Shelby!" I grit my teeth as Hana runs out the front door and into her arms.
"Hey, sweetie," she says into Han's hair. "You being a good girl and helping Kimmie take care of little Danielle and Yori Anne?"
She nods emphatically and I have to smile. The girls are fifteen months old now, and they walk and giggle and are a tiring handful, but I couldn't be happier with them. Hana tells Shelby all about their latest escapades as she skips to her car and hops into her booster seat.
I grit my teeth again and try not to seem angry as the twins wobble their way down the porch steps and towards Shelby's car. "Pop the trunk?"
She finishes putting Yori Anne in her car seat and pushes a button on her key chain. I settle all their things inside and go around to say goodbye to the girls. "I love you," I tell each of them before kissing their foreheads.
"Lub Mama," Danni says with a giggle as I gently tickle her tummy. Yori Anne plants a sloppy kiss on my cheek. Hana wraps her arms around my neck. "I lub yew, Kimmie," she says to me.
"I love you too sweetheart. Behave yourself for Ronnie, okay?"
"Okay," she says, but she isn't smiling anymore.
Shelby, who's been watching the whole thing, gives me a meaningful look. "They're tired of this, Kim. They are just kids but they see the tension between you and Ron."
I stare at the ground. She's right... just because I hate him doesn't mean they have to suffer for it. I draw a deep breath. "Maybe I should take them myself," I hear myself say.
She squeezes my shoulder and motions me to the passenger's seat. We drive in silence to the ice cream shop, and we eat and help the girls eat in silence too. They are getting restless, starting to pick up on the tension between us. I force myself to relax. Seeing him won't be that bad... we managed to make it through the girls' first birthday party without murdering each other.
"He loves you," Shelby says quietly. "He hates this as much as you do."
"He doesn't love me," I whisper, staring at my hands. How could he, after all the awful things we've said to each other?
"Look... you guys don't see this, but I see it... Monique sees it... you guys tear at each other, thinking only that the other person hates you, and then you both go home and bleed, because you both love each other. Just... stop fighting. Stop making each other's life hell, because at the end of the day, you're the miserable one."
I study my nails, picking at them absently. "How did we come to this? We were best friends. Being with him was like... breathing. Simple, easy, almost second nature."
She smirks. "It still is. You just need to stop being so abrasive."
"You wanna talk to me about being abrasive?!" I hiss at her. "Pot and Kettle much?"
"See, there you go, you're already getting your panties in a twist. Amp down, Princess."
"Do you mind not being so crass in front of them?" I cross my arms.
"Sorry. Look, how long are you two going to hold—"
"Auntie Shelby? 'scuse me," she adds sheepishly.
She smiles at her. "Yeah?"
"How come yew call Kimmie 'Princess'? Can I call her that too?"
"No," I answer, and Shelby laughs. "Kimmie and Ronnie and I used to not be friends. I used to call her 'princess' to make her mad." she puts a finger on her chin and smirks. "Still do, actually."
"Ugh."
"Ronnie!" Hana jumps out of her seat before I can protest and makes a mad dash for the door.
"Hey Hana Banana," he says, swinging her around and kissing her cheek. "How's it hangin' baby sister? Did you eat your ice cream?"
"Yeah! Kimmie said I could have—"
"Kimmie?" His voice hardens. "Kimmie is here?"
Her enthusiasm dissipates. "Uh huh, she came with me 'n Danni and Yori and Auntie Shelby," she says quietly. "I sowwie, Ronnie."
He puts her down and I stand.
"Um... I'm going to clean up here. Why don't you guys get the girls settled in Ron's car?"
I take Shelby's keys and he picks up Yori Anne while I pick up Danielle and we head outside. Hana tells Ron all about her week and he smiles the entire way to the car.
I settle Danielle into her seat and kiss her and tickle her. "I love you baby girl, I'll see you soon."
Ron settles Yori Anne into her seat and I kiss her and tickle her too. "You be good for daddy, okay? I love you."
Hana hugs me and climbs into her seat. Ron settles her in and I kiss her forehead. She kisses my cheek, and then Ron closes the door.
"Why are you here, Kim?" His voice is flat.
I take a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "I just... I wanted to see the girls off, that's all. I wanted to... see you."
He's quiet, and I look at him. He's studying me, and it makes me feel flustered. "Why?"
I swallow hard. "W-well... it's just... Shelby... she says that the girls pick up on when we're upset at each other which... these days is like, always... I just want us to at least be try to be civil. I know..." My hands are really interesting all of a sudden. "I know you hate me," I whisper, "but I don't want the girls to feel like—"
"I don't hate you, Kim." His voice is still flat, but there's something in it that I don't understand.
"No, you just treat me like shit," I say, my voice sharper than I intended. I relent. "I'm sorry," I whisper.
"I don't know why you're here, but whatever you're planning, I've had enough. I get that you hate me, but for fuck sake, I can't lose anything else." He clenches his jaw and stares somewhere behind me.
"I don't... I don't hate you, Ron. I'm... I'm sorry. I just... I shouldn't have come," I mumble, more to myself than to him. "I thought we could do this without hurting each other. I was wrong... I'll just go." I step back and wave, tentatively. "G-goodbye, Ron."
He doesn't say anything, but he surprises me by brushing my cheek. "See you around." He gets in his car and pulls away.
My cheek tingles from his touch.
RPOV
My fingers are still tingling from the feeling of her skin. Why on earth did she go to the ice cream parlor? Did she really want to see me? I thought she hated me.
She thinks I hate her. I've never heard anything so ridiculous. Oh God, I told her I hate her...
The girls are asleep and I put them down in their rooms in my three-bedroom apartment in downtown Upperton. The lease ended on the place at USC and I let it go. I got to see what Kim did with the room that Han slept in... it was really beautiful. The room now belongs to another little girl, and she loves what Kim did with the place.
Her room now is just plain. Pink and white, with white curtains. Pink bedding and such. In my defense, I'm no decorator. I might have Monique come up here and help me make her room look good.
The twins sleep in another room. I was so inspired by the color of their eyes... it's done in a peaceful sage green and pale wood floor and matching cribs. I spend a lot of time in here actually. The girls smell pretty, and their scent keeps me calm, much like Han's does.
The phone rings. "How ya holding up, champ?" Shego's voice is a mix between genuine concern and sarcasm.
"I'm... confused to hell," I answer honestly. "I thought she hated me."
"You know Kim better than anybody, Ron," she says in annoyance. "Does she ever hate anyone?"
She's right about that. And she would know, KP was just as vicious when she told Shego she hated her the time Drakken used toy robots to try and take over the world.
"She loves you."
I shake my head, even though she can't see. "No... I ruined what we had. I knew it could happen. I... told her I hated her." My stomach twists as I remember her face that day.
"Why in the fuck would you do that?!"
"I was angry. She was angry. We argued."
"You two are the most stubborn—" I hear her muttering curses under her breath. "You guys have so much passion still. I'm not letting you guys give up everything I—"
I wait a beat. "Everything you... what?"
"Everything I wish I had," she says quietly. "You guys have a chance at the happy ending I never got. Jason cheated... and then he died. I never got to break up with him, or fight with him, or make up with him, or... anything. He died, and I had to deal with double the emotions on my own. You guys... you guys still have a chance to be with each other and fix this if you'd just get over yourselves and stop all your stubborn bullshit!"
"Whoa, cool it, Green Lady," I smirk.
"You need to hurry up and fix your stupid problems so you can make up and fuck and get married and make more little Stoppables and live your lives."
"It's not that simple."
"Isn't it? You love her. She loves you. Maybe what I need to do is crack both of your thick skulls and burn it into your brain with a laser." I hear the whoosh of her hand flaming on. "Actually... hmm."
"Amp down, Shelby," I smirk.
"Admit it! You guys were always meant to be together. Your stupidity excluded, what's the—"
"I get it okay? I love her and I miss her but she's hurt because I hurt her, okay? She's not just going to get over that. I tried... I tried giving her time, but now all we do is argue and I don't know how to make it stop." I heave a shaky sigh. "I want her back. I don't want our girls to have to split the weekends between us or... feel like they have to pick sides... or feel like their family is all fucked up. I want them to be happy. I want Kim to be happy. I wanna marry her, and wake up with her every day until we're gray and wrinkled up like prunes. But I don't make her happy, I... I hurt her. I cause her pain, and that won't change regardless of how we love each other."
"You big idiot. All you have to do is stop hurting her."
I huff in irritation. "Yeah, how do I do that?!"
"Go the fuck home, Stoppable. And stay there!"
click.
On Saturday, I take the girls to the park and play with them on the swings and the slides and they get sand all over me and in their hair when they play in the sand box. I buy them hot dogs and cotton candy and they are all dirty and sticky when they get home.
It is in times like these that I thank God that Kim is such an amazing mother. They are all cooperative and quiet as I bathe them and they chatter happily when I give them their dinner. They are practically drooping with exhaustion when I tuck them into bed. I read to them, and they giggle when I make silly voices until they pass out.
I grab a drink and am about to sit down when someone knocks at the door. Who could be here at... "Kim?"
"H-hey."
"A-are you okay?" I rub the back of my neck and try not to stare. This is soooo awkward.
"Um... yeah. There's a... well, there's a gas leak... at the h-house. A-and I never sleep well without the girls anyway."
I motion her into the apartment. "You... ah... you hungry? I made the girls some cheesy mac."
She smiles tentatively and shakes her head. Her hair is curly today, and a soft curl flies about her face when she moves. I want to touch it.
She clears her throat, moving toward the couch. "Um... they're asleep?"
"Yeah, I just put them down. Hana might still be awake though... you never know with that girl."
She chuckles. "Do you remember the time we were babysitting her because your folks were out of town on one of your dad's speaking things? We went to put her down and not even ten minutes after she 'fell asleep' she was climbing the walls in her room."
I laugh. She was a year and some change old when that happened. She wanted Kim to sing to her that night, and after we put her to sleep we went to the living room. We were... making out... and I remember specifically the heat of her skin on my hands, to the point where even now my palms are searing as I remember it. And then there was a crash... and we both ran upstairs to find that she had knocked her crib over and was running a mile a minute around the perimeter of her room... on the ceiling.
We talk a lot of the night. It is sort of awkward at first, but we relax as she starts telling me about Danni and Yori Anne. I'm fascinated by the way her eyes light up and how excited she seems as she describes their first steps, their hilarious moments... the moments of their life that I missed. She is so gorgeous.
And now she's watching me. Watching me watch her. We stare at each other in silence for a long time. She reaches for me slowly, and I watch her warily. Her arms wrap around me and her body curls into mine, almost instinctively. "I miss you," she whispers into my shirt.
I squeeze her close, my chest tight and my throat blocked. "I... I miss you too, Kimmie."
"You do?"
I nod.
"But you said... you said you hated me."
"I was angry," I tell her. "I didn't mean it. I... I'm so sorry," I choke out. "KP I never... I never hated you. I..."
"You... what?"
I let out a shaky breath. "Nothing," I mumble, guiding her head back to rest on my chest. "Doesn't matter anymore."
The silence that follows that statement is heavy and awkward. When she looks up at me again, her eyes are shining with tears. "Can we just... be friends?"
I sit up, squeezing her as close to me as I can.
"Please... Ron, we can't be like this anymore. I... don't want to live like this anymore," she begs.
"Please don't cry," I whisper. "I know... I know I hurt you a lot. Too much."
"It doesn't matter," she says, a hint of impatience in her voice. "We can do it, we can fix this. We have to."
"I'm not so sure," I mumble to myself. I fucked everything up, and I myself am like fifteen different levels of screwed up.
She's shaking her head. "You've forgotten, haven't you?"
"I'm afraid I don't know what you mean," I tell her, watching her face.
"Anything is possible..."
"For a Possible," I return with a short chuckle. "I'm not a Possible. I'm just... your fucked up ex boyfriend."
"Anything is possible for a Possible... and for Team Possible. And we have to be that again."
"We haven't been a team in—"
"We are," she insists, "and we're on our biggest mission yet. This is the most important mission of all time. We have babies," she breathes. "Our mission is to take care of our babies as best we can. I can't..." she draws a shaky breath and a tear slips down her cheek, clinging to her chin. "I won't do it without my partner."
I wrap my arms around her again, my fingers tangling in her soft hair. She's right. We can do this... we can fix our friendship. If not for us, then for our girls.
We can do it, I tell myself. I can stop coming off so damn hostile all the time. I can take care of my babies, and I most definitely trust her to do the same thing. We need each other, we need our team mojo back. It won't be that difficult... will it?
The morning finds me with a crick in my neck, a warm pressure on my chest. I open my eyes in alarm and see red. Well... red hair. All in my face and in my mouth. We must have fallen asleep talking last night. I stretch a little and she shifts, a soft sigh passing through her lips. I slip out from under her, moving her so her neck isn't uncomfortable, and then I shower. I have to call about that gas leak thing today... ugh, it's Sunday, they might not even fix it until tomorrow morning.
I fix pancakes for everyone, and when I turn around to put them on the table, she's sitting there watching me. She flushes deep red and I suppress my laughter. "You always used to watch me cook," I chuckle.
She blushes again. "I thought it was sexy."
I just smirk at her.
"A-are you... I mean, are you going to finish your degree?"
I shrug. "I don't know. A lot of that is up in the air. It depends... Shego wants... a permanent partner in GJ, and I'm thinking I'll take it. Maybe. Or I might just go back to school in Middleton. I'm not sure." I rub my neck and sit down across from her with a sigh. "I want to be here for our girls. They are my first priority. If I can't do the GJ thing and see them regularly... I don't think I'll do it."
She stares at her hands. "That's very... very mature of you."
"What about you? How are things at Middleton U?"
"I graduate next May," she smiles. "I got a bit behind... you know, when the girls were born... and I had to drop all my campus classes and do online ones... and I did part time last semester too... so I should have been graduating in December but I've been a bit sidetracked."
"I'm happy for you," I tell her, and it's the truth.
She smiles brightly. "Thank you."
"When you finish, what are you thinking?"
"Well... I'm thinking that I want to apply to the FBI. It's less demanding than GJ... you know, because of the girls. I don't want to be gone all the time. There's an FBI headquarters here in Upperton."
I'm proud of her. I know they'll see her resume and probably jack off to it at night. Gross, but true.
Han bounces into the kitchen and squeals when she sees Kim. "Kimmie! Hi! Ronnie took us to the park!"
"Did he?" she smirks at me. "How did that go?"
"It was... enlightening," I say blandly, and she bursts into laughter.
"I guess I'll still be washing sand out of Yori Anne's hair tonight then."
I roll my eyes. "And grass stains out of Danni and Hana's pants."
"Ugh, are they by any chance white?"
I frown in confusion. Who cares if Han's pants were white?
She shakes her head. "I'm glad they had fun... but next time, please no white pants. I'm a crime-fighting cheerleader, not a miracle worker."
I laugh. "I could have sworn that 'crime-fighting cheerleader' is synonymous with 'miracle worker'," I tell her with mock astonishment.
She rolls her eyes at me and helps Han cut her pancakes.
After everyone is fed and cleaned, we go to the Possible house. The Tweebs have been dying to see Hana and the twins.
"Ron, hi," smiles Lady Dr. P. "Come in, sweetheart. I just made lunch."
"Oh we just ate, but thanks." I follow Kim in and the Tweebs, now much taller than her, engulf her in a huge double bear hug.
"Put me down guys," she wheezes. When they realize they're squeezing the stuffing out of my girl, they put her down. She reaches up and musses their hair. "Hey guys." She lands a sloppy kiss on Jim's cheek and he makes a face as he wipes his cheek with his sleeve. Tim escapes her, but only barely.
"Ugh, you got your lipstick on me!" Jim gripes. Then he's off to play soccer with Hana.
Tim gives her a piggy back ride to the deck in the back, and I watch the Possible family interact. I've done it a thousand times before, but this time it's different. This time, I'm on the outside looking in. This time I'm not... part of it.
I've never felt more lonely in my entire life.
"Are you alright, Ron?"
I nod at Dr. P. She watches me for a moment. "You will always be my son," she says quietly before disappearing into the kitchen.
How in the fuck does she do that?!
"Ron?"
"Oh, hey." I rub my neck but she just smiles at me.
"Come join us?" Her eyes widen and her bottom lip juts out just a little bit.
I let her drag me back out to the deck and into a seat. She curls up in my lap and falls asleep.
It's dark out when the door bell rings. Kim stretches and pads through the house to answer it, but Tim dashes past her and yanks open the door. "Hey," he beams. A pretty dark haired girl reaches up and kisses him.
"Hi," she breathes.
I look down uncomfortably when he leans down and kisses her again. Kim smacks the back of his head and tells him to take it upstairs before coming back outside.
He merely glares at her and goes back to kissing his girl.
Damn... I wish I had a girl. No, I wish I had my girl.
Jim smirks. "Are you going to watch Sophie and my brother make out all night or are you going to hurry up and put the moves on my sister? We all know you're going to get back together, just get it over with."
"Gee... thanks." I glare at him dully. Everyone seems to believe that we should just hurry up and get back together. Why do I feel like it isn't that simple?