Chapter 21
I'm Losing And This Is My Real Life
* "Please just follow me. I thought you wanted me. Cause I want you all to myself." - Marianas Trench – All To Myself
She's going to love this. I thought as I touched my arm that is wrapped up.
I am waiting in the suite for Cagalli to come back. She went shopping on her own. I offered to go with her, but she wanted some alone time I guess…
We've been at Destiny's Island for a couple of days now and we both love it. We haven't done anything too crazy since she's pregnant and all, but just spending time with her was good enough for me. We still haven't had sex because she's acting all self-conscious about her baby bump, but after she sees my arm, I bet I can make her panties drop!
"Vanitas?" Cagalli came into the room and immediately looked at my arm. "Why is your arm all wrapped up?"
"I have something to show you," I smirked as I began to unwrap my arm.
"Did you get hurt?" She asked in concern.
"No, look." I finished unwrapping my arm and her jaw dropped! "So, you like it?" I grinned.
"You got my name tattooed all the way down your arm!" Her voice rose up in shock.
"Yep." I can't tell if she likes it or not…
"Vanitas, it's so big! Like the letters are really bold and black!"
"Well, now everyone knows that I'm yours." I shrugged.
When is she going to drop her panties?
"I don't know what to say." Cagalli gave me a weak smile.
"You don't have to say anything," I said seductively while I stood up from sitting on the bed to walk up to her.
She looked at me with widened eyes as I leaned in to kiss her hard, but she immediately pulled away.
"I can't," she whispered.
I felt my body getting heated up. I'm pissed… What more can I do to get my wife to sleep with me? I can't wait two months for this kid to be born, and the funny thing is, Sora told me that I would have to wait a little longer because she has to get stitches after our daughter is delivered! I can't wait that long!
"Vanitas?"
I ignored her and stormed out of the room. I shouldn't be mad at her, but it's annoying me about her insecurities. She won't even undress in front of me. She'll go to the bathroom to change while I keep telling her over and over how she's overreacting. Cagalli is beautiful no matter what size she is. I wouldn't even care if she got fat after our daughter is born… I would still love her…
*~*~*My Complicated Crush*~*~*
I am at the bar on the beach drinking my frustrations away. Cagalli is going to be upset when I come back drunk, but I could care less. She's the one not giving me what I want! A couple of people at the bar kept asking me what's wrong… Why would I tell them? It's none of their business! I just want to get drunk by myself and try and forget about sex.
"Van?"
I immediately chugged my drink before facing her.
"What?" I snapped while I turned around in my seat.
"Are you mad at me?" There are stupid tears in her eyes. I started to feel guilty and I hated her for it!
"No," I muttered.
"Yes, you are," Cagalli countered.
I didn't answer her, I mean, what is the point? I didn't want to get into an argument with her about it. We've been fighting about it every day now and it was getting old. Why can't she just give me what I want?
"Let's go back to our room." She grabbed my arm lightly.
"Alright."
We both walked back to our room in silence, but a lot is on my mind. How am I going to survive not having sex with her? It's going to kill me! It doesn't help seeing her every second without getting hard. I have to think about dead kittens or something to get my mind off of her…
I opened the door for her and she walked passed me. My eyes immediately are glued to her ass…
Shit.
"Van, did you get that tattoo of my name so I would sleep with you?"
I rolled my eyes. "No." I mean, I thought this tattoo would get her to finally sleep with me, but the main reason is for everyone to know I'm only interested in her and her alone.
"Really?" She raised a brow.
"Yeah," I sighed and lied on the bed to stare up at the ceiling.
"This is our honeymoon. We should enjoy ourselves without getting mad at each other." She lied down next to me.
"Then give me what I want and we'll be cool." I chuckled.
"You know how I feel about my body."
I turned my head to look at her. "Cagalli, I know I said this a million times, but you're beautiful. I think you look dope carrying our child in your stomach. It's sexy, to tell you the truth."
"Van…"
"And I can't stop staring at you no matter where we are. I have to think about ugly things, so I don't force myself on you."
"Ugly things?" Cagalli snorted.
"Yeah, like dead kittens… Babies."
"You're awful!" She giggled.
"Just being honest."
"Do you really think I'm beautiful? Even though I'm huge?"
"Of course, I do, Cagalli. I wish you weren't self-conscious because it pisses me off."
"Why?"
"Because you're the most gorgeous girl I have ever laid eyes on. Seriously, look at my lame ass telling you these corny things… I never do that, but when it comes to you, I want to compliment you every day." I reached out and pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. "I love you, Cagalli."
Cagalli studied me then closed her eyes to inhale. "Fine."
"What?" I asked in confusion.
"I'll have sex with you, but we have to turn off all of the lights!" She ordered.
"Are you serious?" I groaned.
"Either we have sex with the lights off, or you aren't getting anything!" She snapped.
"Fine." I stood up to turn the lights off and rushed back on the bed to claim my wife. "I finally can have you again." I roughly pulled her sweats and underwear off her and began to lick her violently.
"You're going so fast already?!" She moaned out.
"I've been waiting to please you for a while now," I said as I stuck my whole tongue inside her. I began to go in and out and her hips are going in sync with my tongue. I felt her juices all over my tongue as I went faster and faster.
"VANITAS!" She released on my tongue and I hurried and pulled her top off of her. I then undid her bra and threw it across the room.
I felt her swollen breasts with my hands. "Wow, I can't believe how big they got."
"Stop touching them! They're sensitive!" She cried out.
I ignored her and leaned in to suck on them, but I tasted something strange…
"Oh, my God! That's my milk! Gross!" She slapped me away from her breasts, but I didn't flinch away from them. I wanted to keep sucking. The milk isn't bad as I kept licking them. I kind of like it…
I nibbled until I grew annoyed with Cagalli yelling at me for licking them. I then moved her body to the side (since she can't lay on her stomach or back because of our daughter) and spooned her from behind. I positioned myself and slammed into her. She cried out loud while I kept pumping in and out of her.
I am in heaven. I couldn't keep my hands off of her stomach. She's beautiful and she has my daughter inside her.
I wish I could change positions, but I knew I would harm the kid if I tried anything else, so we stayed in this position until we both released. I collapsed on my back and Cagalli did the same.
"That was amazing," she whispered.
"See? All that fighting for nothing…"
"Yeah."
"So, now that you aren't afraid to be with me anymore, we'll have sex five times a day!" I chuckled.
"Maybe two…"
"No, five."
I heard her sigh. "Whatever."
"And after our child is born, we'll create another," I said.
"How many kids do you want?!" She gasped.
"Ten."
"That's too many, Van!"
"Don't you want ten kids with me, Cagalli?" I tried to sound offended.
"It's not that… It's just too many! I think we should do one more and that's it!"
"What would you want our second child to be?" I asked.
"A boy."
"Yeah, I would like that…"
"We still didn't come up with a name for our daughter, you know."
I ponder the thought. I didn't know what to name her. Wasn't it the mother's job to do those kinds of things?
"Van?"
"I don't know what to name her. Don't you have any idea?"
"Wow, you want ten kids, yet you can't come up with one name," she said teasingly.
"Shut up."
"How about Amarra?"
"Amarra," I repeated. "Yeah, I like it. What made you come up with it?"
"It's my great grandmother's name. I never met her, but I always liked that name," she answered.
"Alright, we'll name her Amarra then."
We laid there in silence, but I started to think about our future. I still didn't want our daughter raised in a small apartment with college students around, but I don't know where we can move. I looked at a couple of places here, and the pricing to rent a house isn't bad at all. I just don't know if Cagalli would like the idea of living here.
"What are you thinking about?" Cagalli asked out of nowhere.
"About our daughter."
"Oh."
"And I was wondering when you are going to get a tattoo of my name on you!" I said jokingly.
"That would be my first tattoo!" She freaked.
"It doesn't have to be as bold as mine," I countered.
"Well, I guess I'll think about it, but it has to be after the baby is born. I don't think it's a good idea to inject ink into my body with her in there!"
"Good point." I yawned.
"We should get some sleep. I want to see the sunrise tomorrow!"
"Okay. Good night. I love you." I leaned in and kissed her lips.
"I love you too."
*~*~*My Complicated Crush*~*~*
Cagalli and I both got up to watch the sunrise. I wouldn't mind waking up every morning to see it, but I don't know if she would feel the same way. I had my arm wrapped around her as we watched the sun rising from the beach.
"You've been quiet, is something wrong?" Cagalli turned her head to study me.
I took a deep breath. "I think we should live here."
"Van."
I interrupted her. "Look, I checked out some houses and they are affordable to rent! I'll find a job here while you stay at home and watch Amarra."
"I don't know…" She bit her lip.
"I promise things will work if we move here! When am I ever wrong?"
She snorted. "I can come up with a lot of things…"
"Come on, Cagalli. It's better for our daughter to be raised here than our apartment where college students drink and do drugs."
Cagalli grew silent as she focused her attention on the sun. "Fine, but I want you to find a job first before we move out, got it?"
"Yeah, sounds fair." I nodded.
I felt a smirk spreading across my face while we both stared at the sun. I will do anything in my power to make sure our family will live a perfect life. I know I can conquer anything with Cagalli by my side. I'll never let her be stressed or upset because I will always be there to make sure she has everything she wants and needs… She deserves it. I love her so much. Words can't describe how much I would do for her and our daughter.