A/N: IT'S HERE! I know you all have been dying for it and I'm sorry it's taken me so long, I've just been crazy busy. Thank you all for your amazing reviews and sticking around... I wouldn't be motivated to keep working on this if it wasn't for all of you. 3

Beca wraps her arms around her stomach, pulling her robe tighter against her body. Her shower caddy bangs awkwardly against her thigh and she swallows thickly, unable to look away from Chloe, but also unable to actually answer her question.

The same question that she has for Chloe.

The one that has been rattling in her own head all afternoon.

Are you breaking up with me?

The six words bounce around Beca's head like a pinball. Logically, she knows the answer to the question is no, but she also knows there is rarely room for logic in love, and there's a part of her - a small part, but a part nonetheless - that is scared and insecure. A part of her that is still the 15 year old girl getting a phone call from her dad, explaining - rather poorly - why she and her mother won't be leaving Portland for Atlanta any time soon. A part of her that is still 16 and getting dumped at Homecoming for a girl willing to go down in the boys' locker room. A part of her that is still that girl, swearing to never give her heart away, lest it actually be shattered instead of just a little bruised.

(Which- too late; she's doing a pretty good job of that all on her own.)

Despite her seemingly "bad ass" exterior, Beca has never truly been a fighter, preferring to run from emotional confrontations instead of confronting them head on. It's been the driving force behind nearly all of her failed relationships - friendship or otherwise -and she's tired of it. She's tired of losing people that matter because she can't just fight for what she wants.

"Beca?" Chloe asks, drawing Beca out of her own head. Her voice sounds so timid and small that Beca actually winces.

"I..." Beca starts, her voice cracking on one letter and she wills herself not to cry. "We should go inside."

Chloe looks hesitant, but Beca reaches out her hand once more to help Chloe up - a gesture that is accepted timidly - and Beca doesn't miss how Chloe's normally warm, steady hands are clammy and shaky in her own. It doesn't get much better inside; Chloe hovers awkwardly at the foot of the bed, seemingly unsure if she should sit until Beca gestures and says, "Sit. Please."

She does, but it doesn't make Beca feel much better when she perches on the edge, back ramrod straight in a creepy imitation of Aubrey instead of relaxing against the pillows as she normally would. Beca sighs, knowing she's in for a long night.

"Can I just..." she gestures to her robe and her closet, earning a nod from Chloe. She dresses quickly in an oversized sweatshirt and shorts and throws her still wet hair in a messy ponytail before situating herself on the bed, leaning into the pillows on the opposite side of the bed. Chloe doesn't turn and look, just stays still with her hands folded in her lap, and even from a few feet away, Beca can see the tears shining in her eyes.

"C'mere," Beca whispers softly, catching Chloe's attention.

Chloe stares at Beca's open arms, debating for a moment before crawling across the bed and curling into Beca's side. She buries her face in Beca's neck, hot tears spilling silently against her skin as Beca pulls her in tight, rubbing her back gently. After a long moment, Beca speaks again.

"I don't want to break up with you," she says slowly, choosing her words carefully. Chloe mumbles something against her neck and Beca can't help the shiver at the sensation. "What?" She asks as she pulls back slightly to look at Chloe.

"You have but-face," Chloe repeats, looking up and Beca through thick, damp lashes.

"But I thought you were going to break up with me," Beca replies quietly.

"What?" Chloe jerks away, sitting straight up and looking at Beca. "How could you... I thought we were okay? Did I..." Chloe's voice cracks and she brings her hand to her throat, massaging it as she swallows thickly. "Did I do something wrong? Whatever it is, just talk to me. I'll fix it."

Beca just gazes at her, her eyes following the massaging motions of Chloe's hand against her throat. (It's not the first time Beca's noticed Chloe's obvious pain in the last few weeks, but Chloe's always brushed it off with a smile and an I'm fine. Clearly she isn't, though, and Beca plans to follow up this time.)

"I was at your apartment earlier."

"I know," Chloe says, eyes fluttering shut as she continues her slow massage. "I remember you running away."

"No," Beca says, wincing at the ice in Chloe's words. "I was there earlier than what you thought."

"What?"

"You didn't hear me," Beca starts slowly, fidgeting with her own fingers, twisting and turning the rings on her fingers nervously. "You had your headphones on so I was going to say hi, but then -"

"But then what?" Chloe asks, placing her hands on Beca's when it becomes apparent that she isn't going to continue.

"You were on your computer, looking at apartments and none of those apartments were here. Or LA, for that matter. And I... I just needed a minute to breathe and think. I needed time to sort out my feelings, so I left."

"You could have said that."

"I know," Beca admits, nodding her head. "I should have, but I was so mad and hurt and I didn't want to argue so I left."

"Are you still mad?" Chloe asks, voice suddenly timid again.

Beca shakes her head. "I'm not mad," she assures her. "I'm just... hurt, I guess. I love you, Chloe, and I don't think you need me to tell you how big that is for me."

"I know, I know. I love you, too, Beca. So much," she pauses for a moment and squeezes Beca's hand. "I've never loved anyone as much as I love you."

Beca feels a smile tug at the corner of her lips and ignores the way her heart swells at Chloe's confession. "I'm not expecting you to change your whole life for me, Chlo. And I'm not asking you to stay. Or go with me. I don't even know where I'm going to be this summer," Beca says. She sighs and leans back on her bed, feeling the tears prick the corners of her eyes once more. She stares up at the ceiling as she continues, "I guess I thought you'd at least consider me."

"Beca..."

"This is why I didn't want to do this, you know? Jesse was so adamant that I tell you and at first I just denied it, but then once I came to terms with it, I didn't want to tell you. I figured I'd get what, maybe six months with you? Then you'd be off to who knows where and I'd be here, broken."

"But isn't it worth trying, at least?" Chloe asks. "Don't you at least like knowing?"

"Knowing what? How vulnerable I can be?"

"No," Chloe says, shaking her head vigorously. "How it feels. Wouldn't that six months be at least worth it so you don't spend your entire life wondering?"

"Sounds like you've already made up your mind then."

"I didn't say that!" Chloe exclaims defensively at the way Beca is twisting her words.

"You didn't have to. And no. It's not worth it to me. It's not worth it to me to remember what your mouth tastes like when you're kissing someone else or how perfectly you fit in my arms when you're in someone else's bed. I don't want to know those things. I don't want to know you're remembering someone else's coffee order or that -"

"Beca, stop!" Chloe cries, the hurt evident in the way her voice cracks. "That's not going to happen. Not to us."

"I know what happens with long distance relationships, Chloe," Beca says bitterly, cutting her off.

Chloe squeezes Beca's knee gently, trying to get her to look over to no avail. "We don't have to be your parents, Becs," she whispers reassuringly. "We're better than that."

"And yet, you're still leaving," Beca reminds her and as soon as the words leave her mouth, she wants to kick herself. She knows, deep down, that she's being ridiculous and yet she still can't stop. She's supposed to be fighting, not handing Chloe excuses to just give up, but as usual, her heart takes a back seat to her words.

"Don't," Chloe says, voice gentle, even with the tears pooling in her eyes once more.

"People always leave, Chloe. I should just be alone," Beca states simply. "At least for now. I just need more time to think."

"Think about what?" Chloe asks. "About us?"

"I dunno," Beca shrugs. "Maybe."

Chloe bites her lip, swallowing back a sob before nodding slowly. "Okay," she says, standing up from Beca's bed and leaning down to kiss her forehead.

Beca watches her, seeing the defeat in her eyes and hating that she's the one that put it there. The thing about it, though, is that she also knows that anything she could say right now would only serve to make things worse and they're pretty bad already. She lets her eyes follow Chloe through the dim room, until she reaches the door.

Chloe stops with her hand on the doorknob and turns around, smiling sadly. "I'm not giving up on you, Beca Mitchell. Not now. Not ever."