"I swear Luna, Hermione was having phone sex last night, and didn't even notice I was here!"
Had Luna Lovegood been an ordinary girl, she would have been surprised. But surprise was an emotion Luna had never experienced before, and she just welcomed this information with a light smile.
"Well, Ginny, I think it is perfectly healthy for Hermione to have a lover. Did you know that the scent of wet female body parts keeps nargles away?"
"Err, no I didn't. But you don't know the worst part of it! You don't know who she did it with?"
"Ginny, if it was Ron, you…"
"It wasn't Ron! I would have preferred.."
"Who was it then?" asked Luna. "Hermione doesn't show much interest in other boys at school.."
"It was… Parkinson", let out Ginny, looking completely disgusted.
"Parkinson? Who is he?"
"It's a girl! Malfoy's friend Pansy! Don't you know her?"
"Oh! That pretty girl always following Malfoy around!" exclaimed Luna.
She went from completely indifferent to slightly interested. Hermione was into girls? Well that was the best news she got since her father had discovered a proof that Blibbering Humdingers exist.
Her smile grew larger.
"Well, if Hermione wants to scream for another's girl mandrake I have no problem with it. That Slytherin girl looks a bit mean though."
"She is mean! Hermione has lost her mind! We have to put a stop to this."
"It is not our job to do so" said Luna in weird dreamy voice. "We will not interfere in her business".
But actually, Luna was planning on interfering. Hermione was a very pretty girl, she had always thought so, and now she knew she might have a shot… She looked at Hermione who was sitting on the opposite side of the library, picturing the girl in complete ecstasy like she had been just the night before.
"And what did you hear exactly? What did Hermione say during that conversation with Pansy?" Luna asked Ginny.
The Weasley girl blushed instantly.
"I can't tell you that! I am embarrassed enough to know that much about Hermione's… err… privacy. I don't want to have to talk about it!"
Luna sighed. Ginny was such a drag sometimes. But she was cute when she was shy. That is what prevented Luna from being bored to death whenever Ginny was around. Sometimes Luna didn't even listen to her, she just looked at her, smiling. She always drifted away from conversations she didn't find interesting. People thought she was always a little off, but they turned her off themselves. Except for Hermione and a few other girls, not a lot of people could keep up with her intellectually.
Luna was a little eccentric and distant, but she was unusually perceptive, and was wondering why she had never noticed that Hermione was into girls. The Gryffindor had never given off any sexual vibe. But she had been looking a little different these past few weeks. She was less focused on her work, more inclined to smile and laugh, and much more outgoing than usual. Like she had come to terms with some issue of hers or something.
Luna kept on watching Hermione, who was reading some book about Veelas. Damn Granger! Luna thought that she could pass for a Veela, with her silky pale hair and skin. Except she didn't need any magical power to get people to drool over her.
Where was Pansy at the moment? If Hermione had to talk to her through a phone, she probably was away for the holidays. That gave Luna some time to try to get Hermione to notice her. First step : get rid of the phone.