Chapter Twenty-One: The Hardest Part Of Love

"I've already explained this a hundred times, I'm here to see Sonea!" Cery was starting to lose his patience, and wished he had got into the Guild grounds the same way that he and Sonea had the night they spied on the Guild. And the night he was abducted by Fergun, but he tried not to think about that too much. But he didn't want to get Sonea into any trouble, so he had done what any other visitor to the Guild would do- show up at their front gates.

Not that he had been treated like any other visitor to the Guild would have been. At first the guard at the gates had absolutely refused to grant him entry- then when he explained he was here to see one of the novices, he had begrudgingly gone and asked his captain for his opinion.

Half an hour later he was standing in front of a sour faced magician in purple robes, who was eyeing him with dubious suspicion from behind a large desk.

"And how do I know she either knows you or wants to see you?" he asked, his tone as sour as his expression.

"Look, if you take me to her, and she doesn't recognise me or want to see me, I'll leave without a fuss. If she does, I just want to talk to her for a few minutes, that's all, then I'll be on my way. Deal?"

The magician drummed his fingers on the desk, then sighed deeply.

"Fine. Only for a few minutes, mind," he said rising from his chair. "Our novices are all very busy with their studies, including Sonea."

Cery nodded. "I understand."

"The best place to look for her will be the novices' quarters. I'll take you there now."

Opening the door, the magician gestured for Cery to go before him. He did so, then waited as the magician locked his office door with magic. His office was in the same building as the Novices' Quarters, so it didn't take long for them to make their way into a throng of novices returning from class. Indeed, the novices seemed to be in a very excitable mood, laughing loudly and chattering excitedly to each other. They seemed to be interested in something down the corridor of bedrooms. Cery wondered whether this was normal behaviour for them. Looking at his guide, he noticed the magicians' frown and assumed it was not.

As the magician approached what appeared to be the eye of the storm, one of the novices noticed him. He seemed to make some kind of gesture to the others, and ducked out of sight. The other novices, unable to escape the magician's gaze, bowed to him quickly and trotted away.

One didn't, though. She was facing a way from them, looking at one of the bedroom doors. Cery's heart skipped when he saw her- like it always did.

"Hai! Sonea!" As Cery's shout, Sonea turned and gaped at him in surprise. Then her expression changed to one of delight.

"Cery," she breathed, in a tone that made it seem she didn't quite believe what she was seeing.

Cery grinned back, then his attention was caught by what Sonea had been looking at. The door had words written on it. Cery's reading was not the best, he was still taking lessons from Faren's pet scholar, but he knew enough to read the short message that was scrawled on the wood.

Get back to your brothel, slum whore!

Cery stared at them in horror. By the eye, what had been going on? Was this normal?! He watched as the magician, Lord Ahrind he thought he had heard one of the novices call him, cut of the protests of a group of novices and bark at them to to get the words rubbed off the door.

"But my Lord-"

"It wasn't us! It was that R-"

"I don't care who did it. You will clean it off. Now!"

Cery and Sonea simply looked at each other whilst this exchange took place. "They're giving you a hard time, aren't they?" Cery asked eventually.

"They're just children," Sonea said breezily, clearly trying to make it seem like it wasn't getting to her. But Cery had known her since they were four years old, running around the slums thick as thieves. He knew when she was upset. He knew when something was getting to her- and this was. "I-" But Sonea was cut off by the magician.

"Sonea, you have a visitor, as you can no doubt see for yourself." He said in a clipped voice. "You may speak to him in the corridor or outside. Not in your room."

"Yes, my Lord," Sonea responded quickly, and Cery almost snorted. He never thought he was see the day when his Sonea would call someone "my Lord".

The magician stalked away, and Sonea seemed to relax a little. Looking over his shoulder, she seemed to be evaluating her options. "Let's go outside," she said eventually. "Wait here, I'll just get something." Opening the door with the message written on it, Sonea disappeared inside, but quickly returned and locked the door as the magician had his own.

She led them outside to the well cultivated gardens, and found an empty bench for them to sit on. As he sat beside her, he felt a strange sensation drag over him, then a warmth settled over him, like a heavy blanket. He smiled at her, proud that one of his closest friends was capable of such things.

"You've picked up a few useful tricks."

She smiled slyly. "Just a few."

He considered the little garden they were sitting in, which was part of a much larger pattern of hedges and flower beds. He wondered, if you were able to look at it from above, whether it made a recognisable pattern? Not that he'd ever have the chance to get up high in this place..."Remember when we were in the garden last? Creeping through those trees?" he nodded to the woods, already looking dark and treacherous in the evening light. "That's nearly a year ago now." Nearly a year- and how much had happened? Sonea was a novice. He was…well, he wasn't quite sure what he was right now, but he certainly knew where he was headed.

Sonea chuckled softly. "How could I forget?"

They sat together in silence for a short time. Cery new he only had a very limited time with her, but right now he just wanted to enjoy being with her. Getting to sit with her like this was a privilege he didn't often get to experience now. And he knew, as time went on, and his status increased, he would have to avoid her all the more. He didn't want to compromise her place in the Guild by her fraternising with criminals. After all, hadn't the High Lord said there were laws about that in the Guild? But he quickly pushed that thought away- he didn't want to think about Akkarin right now. He was focusing on the good, light things in his life right now. Like Sonea.

But it was clear that she wasn't in the best of places right now, if the scene that he had witnessed was anything to go by. He thought back to exactly what he had seen.

"That boy is the leader, isn't he? The one that hid when he saw that magician- Lord Ahrind, isn't it?"

Sonea nodded, but stiffly. Looking at her closely in the fading light, Cery noticed a slight flush in her cheeks. She was embarrassed. He was a little sad about that- he had hoped that they had the kind of relationship where they could tell each other everything, with no fear of judgement. Perhaps if he showed her he was happy to talk about it, wanted to know what had been happening to her.

"What's his name?"

"Regin."

"He been bothering you much?"

She let out a deep breath. Her whole body seemed to relax- now she was with a friend, someone who had her back and would never judge her, she seemed to settle. He was pleased about that. "All the time," she said. She began a litany, beginning at her Acceptance Ceremony to the first day of classes, from childish pranks to more serious attacks. It was emotionally draining just to listen to. By the end, Cery was so boiling with rage that he was no longer in need of Sonea's shield. He couldn't hold in a curse, which made Sonea smile slightly.

"That boy needs a good lesson if you ask me." A thought occurred to him. "Would you like me to teach him?"

As they talked about Regin and his band of followers, and Sonea showed how little Cery could do to help, he grew increasingly frustrated. What was the point of calling yourself someone's friend and not being able to do anything for them?

"I can't do anything to stop him, can I?" he asked softly.

He was surprised by her soft chuckle. "No," she replied. "But it is fun thinking about dunking Regin in the sea or dropping a house on him."

He couldn't help but smile then, feeling his lips being pulled up to match her own. "Sure is."

"And I'm glad you dropped by. I haven't since you since before I started at the University." He felt a bang of appreciation for her with that comment. The long trek here, and the valiant battle he had had to put up to be allowed in to see her- had been worth it just to hear her say that.

They spoke for a while longer, Cery drinking in every moment he had with her- every expression on her face, every word she uttered, in her new, more gently spoken, accent.

"Sonea!" A familiar voice eventually called. The magician, Lord Ahrind's. Sonea stood, somewhat reluctantly it seemed to Cery.

"I'd better go," she said resignedly.

Cery shook his head. Not all the things Sonea had learned to do were good, in his opinion. "It's strange hearing you call them "My Lord" and jumping at their orders."

She gave him his favourite "are you serious" look. "Like you didn't with Faren. At least I know that in five years I'll be bossing everyone else around."

This could be Cery's moment. He could tell her- he could tell her that he was already ordering people around. Was already making his ways up through the ranks of the thieves. Was already doing work for her very own High Lord. He had already told her about the murders going on in the slums, why not fill in the blanks for her. But he knew she would heartedly disapprove. And she would worry. She already had too many things on her mind for her to be concerned about him. No, now was not the moment. Not yet.

"Go on, get back toy your studies. I'll try and drop by soon." She gave him a calculating look, then nodded.

"I'll hold you to that."

As she walked away, he felt the need to see her smile, just one more time.

"And tell that boy I'll break his arms if he doesn't leave you alone."

She turned, her brilliant smile once again set in place.

"I'll do it myself if he pushes me far enough. By mistake, of course."

What a Sonea-like thing to say. Defiant, resilient, brilliant. And Cery loved her more than ever in that moment.

Loving Sonea had always been hard. When they were younger, she hadn't realised how he had felt, so he had had to carry all his feelings alone. When he had told her about his feelings when he was imprisoned by Fergun, she hadn't said she returned those feelings. She didn't say she didn't either, but now she was a novice in the Magicians' Guild, and completely out of his grasp. Now she was fighting for her right to be here every hour of the day, and he was powerless to help. All he could do is let her fight her own battles, and hope she could find the strength to win.

Watching her leave, letting her go back to people he knew would continue to hurt her, he realised something. The hardest part of love is in the letting go.

What ho, my lovely readers! As promised I have returned from my travels. As usual, thank you ever so much for the reviews, you are all too precious for words. Hope you enjoyed the chapter, another one is well on the way. Things are about to start getting a bit darker around here from now on, I'm afraid! Lots of love and happiness for you all, Cece xox