More Than Human Chapter 21: Shanghai, a twilight fanfic

Title: More Than Human

Rating: M for graphic violence, for sexual situations, lemons, hot steamy angsty teenage lovin', underage drinking, smoking, drug use and overall bad behavior.

Premise: Bella is more than human. Renee makes the ultimate sacrifice to hide her with a father she never knew existed. Who can she trust when she finds more kids like her in Forks? Will they fight to help her or betray her to stay hidden? AU OOC ExB & JxB Lemons

Alternate Universe: Mostly all human. No vampires. Enhanced humans with powers and The Shop is hunting them. Pretty much OOC, ExB of course, but some JxB for a twist.

POV: BPOV (Bella) for the most part. POV may shift depending on who is narrating the story in some chapters. Any guest Narrators will be noted. The Prologue is from Charlie's POV.

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Author Notes:

Please note that this story is rated M for a reason, if you'd prefer not to deal with mature themes, please do not read this story.

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Chapter 21 Shanghai

The rest of the wrestling meet went smoothly. Edward won his next match and Jasper won both of his. Emmett lost his second match, but he took it pretty well and sat down with Rose to discuss what he'd done wrong.

Our guys were done a little after nine. We'd faced both of the other schools, but they still had to face each other. We weren't planning on sticking around to watch it. The guys went to the locker room to hit the showers while Esme and the cheerleaders gathered up their things to pack up on the bus.

Alice, Rose and I helped Esme and the girls get their things packed up on the bus, and then we hung out waiting for the guys to finish up before we left. The guys started filtering out in ones and twos as they finished showering and dressing, and headed for the bus carrying their gym bags.

Edward was one of the first ones done, and came walking out looking for me. He had his gym bag slung over his shoulder and his hair was damp from the shower, but dry enough so he wouldn't catch cold walking out to the bus. He was wearing his letter jacket, and walked up to me when he saw me standing with Alice.

"Walk with me while I put my things on the bus?" He asked.

"Sure…" I replied and walked beside him as we moved toward the door.

"I wanted to thank you for what you did for me tonight, Bella. That was absolutely incredible. I always have to second guess myself, sometimes I think I hold back to insure I'm not taking advantage of the situation. It was so freeing to know I couldn't control the guys I faced and I won or lost based on my training and ability as a wrestler."

"It was easy for me to help out. I'm glad I could help you."

"Will you come to the rest of the wrestling meets and tournaments this season? It would be fantastic if you could help me like this for the rest of the season. I love wrestling as a sport, but I want to really be able to compete, not just win."

"Sure… as long as nothing else comes up I don't see why I couldn't help you."

About the only thing I could foresee stopping me from helping Edward like this was if the agents from the Shop showed up and we had to make a run for it. Then all bets were off.

"That's great, Bella."

"There's something else I wanted to talk to you about, Edward…"

"Alright, I'd like to think we can discuss anything. Hold on just a second..." Edward said. We had arrived at the bus, and he ducked inside to drop off his gym bag and claim the seat he wanted for the ride home.

"I was surprised Charlie suggested I stay over tonight…" I continued when he came back out.

We continued walking a short way away from the bus so we could speak privately as the other guys started coming out. Edward would have kept our conversation private regardless, and I seemed to take that for granted now, speaking freely despite the fact that people might be close enough to overhear us. He wouldn't let them remember what we were talking about, and if he couldn't, them it wouldn't matter if they knew, because they'd be special too.

"He knew you'd be getting back very late. He would have stayed up to wait for you to come home. Now he can get a good night sleep. He knows you'll be safe with us."

"Is that what this is about, or is that how you're trying to rationalize it? I could see him possibly agreeing to let me stay over if I suggested it and tried to talk him into it. He knows I'm friends with Alice, but he knows you live there too, and he knows we're kind of dating. I can't see him suggesting that I spend the night at your house, Edward."

"You don't believe your father trusts you?"

"He trusts me. I can't believe he trusts you. He's more overprotective than that. He doesn't even want me to date you until he has the talk with you. He would have at least wanted to talk to Esme or Carlisle first to know we weren't planning some kind of monkey business or something."

"He did talk to Esme. What are you trying to say, Bella?"

"Did you get into Charlie's head and make him ok with me sleeping over tonight?"

"You were shielding him at the school and the hospital. You blocked his mind before he was even out of his car, and you kept him shielded until long after he dropped us off at the school. I didn't have any opportunity to try to push him today before he made that suggestion."

"That doesn't answer my question. I'm not with him twenty-four seven. Alice can take you anywhere you need to be in the blink of an eye. You've had plenty of opportunity."

"That would mean that the act of control would be premeditated and that I would have had to give it thought and consideration. I would have had to plan it and then act to carry it out."

"Did you do it?"

"Yes."

"What! You're not even going to deny it?"

"What's the point? I'm not going to lie to you. You have to know how I feel about you. I want you to be my girlfriend, Bella. It seemed like a good idea to remove any roadblocks that might keep us apart."

"So you just made it ok with Charlie for me to spend the night at your house? How long have you been planning this? What about Carlisle and Esme? Did you make this ok with them too? Is that why they don't say anything about Alice and Jasper and Rose and Emmett basically living together under their roof? What exactly were you expecting to happen tonight?"

"Please don't be upset…"

"I am upset, Edward, and you can't control me to just make me ok with this."

"It's not like that…"

"Then tell me what it is like, because it sure sounds like that! Were you planning on sneaking into my room? Or maybe you just expected me to share your bed with you…?

"I'm not expecting anything like that to happen tonight, Bella. I haven't done anything to Carlisle or Esme to alter their reactions. I can't affect them that way. They're naturally resistant to my ability. Besides, you know about Alice and Jasper and Rose and Emmett share a special relationship."

"Fine, you didn't say how long you've been planning this for."

"I wasn't exactly planning for tonight. I simply made Charlie more conducive to the idea of you sleeping over if you decided you wanted to. I had no idea he would spontaneously suggest that you should do so this evening. He trusts us and considers our house to be safe place for you to stay, that's all. I simply made him ok with the idea that it would be ok for you to sleep over if Alice asked you too."

"So this was Alice's idea?"

"No. It was my idea, but it's always easier to get people to do something if you suggest something they aren't opposed too. Charlie likes Alice and he knows you're friends. He'd be more inclined to say yes if Alice asked if you could sleep over and stay the night. I simply set up the situation where he'd likely say yes. I simply made him feel that you'd be safe with us and that he should have no fears for your safety when you're with us. That's the truth, you know…"

"Fine, how long has this been going on?"

"I started laying the ground work the first time I laid eyes on you. You have completely captivated my soul and you fill my thoughts constantly. I'm not embarrassed to say that I have done everything within my power to make you mine and win your love.

"I've acted to remove roadblocks, as I stated, but I have not poisoned your father's mind against Jacob. I have not influenced anyone else to hate him either. I haven't made anyone believe we should be together with my ability, but hopefully my actions have made my point for me. Any opinions you hear regarding Jacob Black or us as a couple is that person's honest impression.

"Beyond that, Carlisle said I should be the man you want to love to win your love, not manipulate the situation to drive away my rival. You are free to choose as you will."

"Ok… so what were you expecting to happen tonight?"

"Believe me when I say I was as shocked as you that Charlie made the suggestion. I have no expectations, Bella, but I do have dreams and wishes. I'm seventeen and I'm not above having fantasies. I thought perhaps we could talk, or maybe you would be fast asleep when I returned home and I'd have an opportunity to have breakfast with you in the morning and drive you to school. In my wildest fantasies, maybe we continued where we'd left off on Saturday night, but only if you were willing to entertain the notion.

"Please believe me when I say that nothing will happen between us that you're uncomfortable with or that you're unwilling to try. I value your free will and the fact that I can't touch your silent mind. You are the ultimate challenge for me, because I have to win your love and if you choose me it's because I'm worthy of your love, not because I can make you love me. Every other couple in the world takes that for granted, but you are truly unique and the most special girl in the whole world."

"I'm not so special, Edward. I'm a freak of nature that any sane person wants to destroy, like killing a rattlesnake or stepping on a scorpion…"

"So am I. You're so special to me, Bella. Anyone who wants to hurt you has to go through me. Anyone who so much as desires to harm a single hair on your head can eat their gun, fall on their sword, or step into traffic. You're mine, should you have the desire to be mine."

"You know I'm not ready to make that decision yet... I think I understand why you did what you did, but I can't say I'm ready to simply accept it or tell you I'm ok with it. I don't want you in Charlie's head any more. I don't want you influencing his decisions, even if it's to make life easier for us..."

"What about all of the other people around us Bella? You're willing to accept that, but not with your father? It's ok for me to influence them, but not your father? Where do we draw the line?"

The rest of the wrestling team had gathered by the bus. They would have easily overheard every word we were saying if Edward wasn't controlling them that very instant so they ignored what we were saying.

I squirmed a little when I considered what he was asking. Maybe they weren't intimately involved in the day to day affairs of my life, but they were still people. It was a bigger moral dilemma than I wished to tackle right now.

"They aren't my father and I don't live with them. They don't make decisions that affect my life. I don't report to them and I'm not accountable to them for how I lead my life and what kind of a person I am. When you start making changes to Charlie's fundamental values and belief system, you change who he is as a person and how he reacts to me.

"Today was a prime example if you didn't actively make him make that decision. You changed how he felt about your family and it altered his decision making process."

"Do you want me to try to undo it? I can't guarantee how he'd react or what the effect would ultimately be..."

"No! Just stay out of his head! You've done enough damage. Promise me you won't try to alter his thoughts or influence his decisions anymore, ok"

"Alright, I promise not to make any changes or alter his thoughts unless you want me to and allow it. I can't promise to stay out of his head. He's quieter than everyone else, and much of his mind is closed to me or indistinct, but I can't stay out any more than you could make your ears stop hearing."

"Fine. I mean it, Edward. Don't mess with his head anymore."

"I cannot lie to you, Bella. You have my word. I have to get on the bus to leave. Will you allow me to kiss you goodbye?"

"Edward...!" I knew I sounded exasperated, and he looked hurt. I smiled at him and softened my expression. I wasn't mad that he wanted to kiss me. "I told you not to keep asking for permission and just do it..."

He took me in his arms and his lips touched mine. I couldn't stay mad at him. I knew he wasn't controlling my mind, but my mind had very little to do with this.

He could very easily control my heart, and I melted against him as my arms snaked around his neck and my fingers knotted in his hair. I could feel the bulge in the front of his jeans pressing into my stomach...

I kissed him back hard and then I was pulling away. "I'll see you when you get home. I'll wait up for you," I said with a smirk and licked my lips suggestively, tasting him on my lips as his scent filled my senses.

"You're evil Ms. Swan. This will be the longest bus ride of my existence..."

I could see the bulge in his pants and I knew the ride would be long and uncomfortable. "I know. Consider it your penance. Don't mess with Charlie's head again. You don't need to, and I like my father the way he is."

Then I turned on my heel and walked back into the gym to find Alice. She was standing inside the lobby waiting for me.

"That was so mean," Alice said with a smirk as I walked in.

"He so deserved it, Alice..." I started

Alice chuckled and put her arm around my waist. "Oh, I have no doubt. He totally deserved it. C'mon, let's grab Rose and Carlisle and get out of here. I'm bored and want to do something fun."

We walked close together as I threw my arm around her shoulder and went back into the main gym auditorium to find the others. Rose was waiting inside the doors and Carlisle was saying goodbye to Esme. He kissed her and then held her hand as the two of them walked over to join us.

"All ready to hit the road?" Alice asked.

"Yes, just let me put Esme on the bus, and I'll meet you at the car," Carlisle said.

"Thank you for helping tonight, girls," Esme said. "I'll see you back in Forks."

"No problem, Esme," Alice said.

"It was fun..." I said. "I enjoyed coming to the meet like this."

"It's not so bad when you don't have to drive three hours," Rose said."

"What do you care, Rose," Alice commented. "You would have just tuned out and done something else while I drove, and then you'd just wake up when we got here. It's not like the trip would have mattered to you."

"Well, I'm still glad I have you, Alice. You make life so much easier."

That was interesting. The way Alice talked and the way the other's seemed to treat Rose at times was almost like she was an appliance or something that they took for granted. Sometimes they treated her like a person, and other times they seemed so callous towards her.

I knew she was a person, but she existed as much as a voice on the phone as she did as somebody to actually hang out with.

It was really strange the way Alice described her tuning out, too. She didn't say she'd go to sleep for the trip. It was like she was just transporting her body, but her consciousness would exist someplace else doing something else until they arrived at their destination. I knew Rose could multi task but this went beyond being able to talk on the phone without holding the phone in her hand.

Carlisle walked Esme to the bus and kissed her good bye while the three of us girls got in the car. Carlisle came over to join us and got into the passenger seat.

"Alright, Alice, I'm ready whenever you are."

"Ok. If it's all the same to you, I'm going to drop you and Rose off at the house, and then Bella and I are going out for a while until the boys get home."

"Ok, but don't stay out too late. You still have school tomorrow," Carlisle said.

I suppose he wasn't really Alice's father and she just lived with them because she wanted to. She could come and go as she pleased because she could simply decide to leave whenever she wanted to. There was nothing truly tying her to the Cullens beyond the sense of loyalty and family they shared. She didn't rely on them for her financial wellbeing or support. If anything, she brought more to the table than she took away and their lives were richer because of her.

It was an admirable position to be in rather than being a burden and pariah like me. All I could bring to the table was misery and woe, and all of their lives were suddenly more complicated because of me. I was a hunted fugitive and I'd only succeed in drawing the hunters down on their heads.

All of them would have to run when the hunters caught up with me. Assuming all of them survived to run when they found me. I was prepared to go down in a blaze of glory, but they didn't deserve to burn with me. I was left with the same old dilemma. How long should I stay and when should I run. I needed to leave before the hunters found me, but I didn't want to leave because I'd found Edward and Jacob and they were both so special.

I didn't want to lose either of them, but I knew I was going to have to choose. It was an impossible decision and I knew I couldn't give either of them up. I knew this was going to be messy and painful and I had no idea how it would play out, but I just hoped I'd find a solution somehow. I was at a complete loss on how to resolve my dilemma. I didn't know what to do, so all I could do was keep moving forward and pray the situation resolved itself.

Alice drove out of town, but turned off and took a different route than the bus.

Reality twisted.

There was the sound of fabric ripping and the scent of ozone in the air.

Suddenly we were driving down the driveway in front of the Cullens house. Alice pulled around to the garage and parked Carlisle's Mercedes in the garage and everyone got out.

Rose walked out of the garage without comment, as though she was a million miles away and running on auto pilot.

"Thank you, Alice," Carlisle said. "You and Bella have fun. Stay out of trouble."

Alice chuckled. "When have I ever gotten into trouble?"

Carlisle just smiled and shook his head like there were too many times to count and followed Rose out of the garage.

"So that's just it? He isn't even going to ask where we're going?"

Alice shrugged. "He knows we can handle ourselves in an emergency and nobody will hurt us or they're dead meat. I come and go as I please. Jasper and I stay because we like being part of the family and we're all safer together with Edward and Rose looking out for us."

"Ok, I figured that much out on my own. So where are we going?"

"Shopping..."

"It's ten o'clock at night, Alice. What stores could possibly be open at this hour?"

Alice reached for my hand and I knew better than to pop my shield.

Reality twisted.

Suddenly we were in an alleyway between tall tenement buildings with busy street sounds surrounding us. The architecture looked foreign and different and I knew we weren't in America anymore. It was sunny and the middle of the afternoon from where the sun hung in the sky. There were lots of people around, although the alleyway was empty. I didn't hear anyone speaking English, the people were chattering in a foreign language and I didn't recognize it.

All of the little visual clues pointed to the fact that we were somewhere in Asia as I followed Alice out of the alley. The signs, debris on the street, garbage in dumpsters and garbage cans all had Asian pictogram script for the writing, and the foreign voices I could hear had a distinctly Asian flavor to them in the sound of the spoken words.

The city had a different vibe and energy. The scents were different and I knew I was the foreigner here. I could see the city skyline as we hit the street and it looked vaguely familiar from TV or movies. It looked huge and crowded. All of the people I could see looked to be of Chinese ethnic descent, and we would have stood out if it wasn't for the crowds filling the sidewalks hurrying to and fro as they moved through the teeming city, intent on their own business.

"Where are we Alice? Why is the sun up? It feels like the middle of the afternoon, not ten o'clock at night."

"It's about one thirty in the afternoon on Tuesday here..."

"Umm... It was ten o'clock at night on Monday night, a second ago in your garage... You can time travel too?"

"Only in a manner of speaking, we're on the other side of the planet, Bella. It's the afternoon of the sixth here because of the time change. We're in Shanghai, China. There are a couple of shops I wanted to show you up here..."

"Shanghai, China!" I exclaimed, drawing attention from the people around us, but it passed and we blended back into the crowd. "You brought us to Shanghai, China to go shopping? How is that even possible? I don't speak a word of Chinese!"

Alice rattled something off that sounded like the same language the other people around us were speaking.

"What did you say?" I asked.

"I said don't worry, I speak Chinese; At least enough to find some bargains."

I just nodded and followed Alice down the busy sidewalk.

"Is it always this crowded here, Alice?" I asked.

"This is the biggest, fastest growing city in the world, Bella. There are eighteen million people in this city. It gets a little crowded sometimes."

"Wow, that's big...!"

I tried to keep up with Alice, and then she was turning into a shopping district. There were boutiques and expensive looking store fronts on the lower floors and street fronts of several high rise buildings. There were all kinds' shops, Jewelers, electronics, restaurants, house wares, spices and an apothecary, clothing stores and shoe stores, all kinds of merchandise in all kinds of shops, but high quality and expensive looking.

Alice held my hand and led me to a clothing store. I was going to protest when I saw what kinds of clothes they sold, but then we were through the door and standing in the middle of a Chinese version of a lingerie shop that made Victoria Secret seem tame and mundane.

The hostess spoke to us and Alice replied. The next thing I knew we were being led into a private viewing room and served tea and some sort of cakes or sweet crackers. A series of models started coming through, wearing a variety of skimpy lingerie.

Alice spoke to the hostess and the selection of lingerie changed from bra and panty sets to teddies and corsets.

"If you see anything you like, you can try it on," Alice said. Otherwise, I know your sizes pretty well, and I'll just pick out some things for you."

"Alice, I'm never going to wear any of this. Why are we even bothering?"

"A girl should own some nice lingerie, and I'm sure you'll find an opportunity to wear some of this. Maybe not for long, but half the fun is taking it off."

"Fine, how about some garter belt sets then? At least that's practical. I can wear those with the skirts you're always trying to stuff me into."

"Now you're getting into the spirit of this. We can pick out some silk stockings too... You know, some girls even wear stocking and a garter belt under slacks and jeans."

"Why bother? Isn't that a waste of time? What's the point?"

"Some girls just like pretty underthings, Bella. It makes them feel pretty and feminine. Don't knock it until you've tried it."

The selection of lingerie changed to what I'd asked to see, and I had to admit I liked some of it. Alice made me try on my selections but I had to admit, we had fun picking out some sexy lingerie.

It was more fun than I'd thought it would be, and then Alice was handing over a credit card to the sales girl who rang up the purchase. There were more bags than I'd imagined. I didn't think we'd picked out so much stuff, but Alice had been relaying the selections, and I didn't speak the language.

We ended up in a little cafe to have a midnight snack and tea.

"So what were you and Edward arguing about after the wrestling meet?" Alice asked.

"I confronted him about Charlie. I wanted to know if he'd pushed him to make it ok for me to sleep over."

"Oh, is that all?" Alice asked as though it was completely unimportant.

"He admitted it, Alice. He pushed him to make him ok with spending the night at your house. Anytime you ask him, he's going to say ok now."

"Good, that makes things much easier."

"Alice! Aren't you at all concerned that Edward got into his head and changed how Charlie feels about all of you?"

"No, not really, it happens so much anymore, I've learned to deal with it."

"Well, I don't like it."

"You're spending the night at our house."

"Just because I don't like it doesn't mean I'm not going to do it. I don't like how Edward set this up, but what's done is done, and it would make things worse trying to undo what he's already done. I'm willing to accept the new status quo as long as he doesn't do any more tampering. At least he's honorable enough not to try and turn Charlie against Jacob, they're practically family for god sake."

"He probably hasn't because of how strong their bond is. Edward can do a lot, but he isn't omnipotent. He can make people do things they're violently opposed to with a really strong push, but he can't break family ties or change opinions that strong, at least not overnight."

"What I don't get is why we're even going through all of this in the first place. True, I like the fact that I have choices. And it's a little flattering to have two hot guys chasing me and doing everything they can to get me to date them. That has never ever happened to me before in my life.

"Guys never even noticed me before unless they were pointing a gun at me. Then I move here, and bam, Jacob is chasing me to ask me out and Edward is professing his undying love. It's enough to make your head spin. Sometimes I feel like pinching myself to see if I'm awake and this is for real."

"This is as real as it gets, girlfriend. Call it fate, or being in the right place at the right time. I say just hang on and enjoy the ride while it lasts."

"Sounds like good advice to me."

"So what did you mean when you said you don't get why this is even happening?"

"Well, if Edward is as powerful as he seems, why does he have any competition at all? Why is he even letting Jacob be his rival? It's like at the wrestling meet in Forks, why did Edward shove him and try to start a fight? Why didn't he just make him leave and forget about me?

"Don't get me wrong, I like having Jacob want me too, but this thing would be a ton easier if it was just one guy chasing me. I'd totally be Edward's girlfriend by now if it was just him, but Jacob is still in the picture. I still have feelings for him too."

"Well, Edward could have handled the whole wrestling meet incident better," Alice said.

"Yeah, but why did Edward even let that happen, Alice? If he doesn't want me to date Jacob, why doesn't he simply making him leave me alone instead of putting all of us through this? I can understand him wanting real competition when it comes to wrestling and I know I told him to back off and stay out of Jacob's head, but I can't shield him twenty-four seven. I couldn't stop him from getting to Charlie. He could get to Jacob fairly easily when I'm not around and just make him not want to see me anymore."

"You know the answer. Do I have to spell it out for you? Why do you think none of the other guys at school have asked you out on a date besides Mike Newton? You know, none of them will…"

"Because Edward won't let them, right? He knew I'd turn Mike down because of Jessica, and it was more useful to illustrate his point…"

Alice nodded.

"So the only reason Jacob could possibly be competition is because Edward can't push him. How does that work?"

Alice shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine. Carlisle thinks it's something in their genetics, something to do with their natural ability that prevents Edward from controlling them…"

"All of them?"

"All of the ones in the bloodlines that carry the mutation that give the Quileute's their abilities. Carlisle and Esme are both natural mutants too, and he can't affect their minds the way he can push everyone else."

"Is that why he can't hear or control Rose too, because she's a natural mutation too, like Carlisle and Esme and Jacob?"

"I don't know, we've never tested it, but that's not why he can't hear her, or why he can't control her."

"And you're not going to tell me why, are you?"

"Sorry, I can't. You have to ask Rose…"

"Fine, So the guys from La Push, Jacob, Quil, and Embry… Even Seth, all of them carry the mutant gene?"

"Yeah, pretty much. So far only Sam and a couple of older guys have manifested abilities in this generation, but they all carry the gene. Edward says he can read them, but he can't push them. He can still hear their thoughts. I don't know if he can project his thoughts to them so they can hear him…"

"He can project his thoughts too? What else can he do?" This was news to me.

"That's kind of how telepathy works, Bella, but I suppose you wouldn't know since he can't touch your mind. It's kind of cool actually, hearing his thoughts in your head."

"You know, that means he's in your mind… He can mess around in there and do anything he likes… He can make you do what he wants…"

Alice shrugged. "I trust him. Maybe I didn't always, but I do now. Maybe he made me trust him, but it's all the same now, so what does it matter?"

"Do you have any free will at all, or do you simply do what Edward tells you to do?"

"I think I have free will. I'm pretty sure it's me deciding what I want to do most of the time. Besides, how much free will do any of us really have? We react to the environment around us and we're constrained by rules and society and culture and duty. We all do what we have to do within the context of our lives. How free are any of us to really do what we want to do?"

"You seem like a pretty free spirit most of the time, Alice. You come and go as you please and do whatever you want."

"I have special advantages that most people don't have. It gives the illusion of freedom, but I'm just as bound to do what I have to do as any of us."

"I value my freedom, but I like having people in my life that I care about. I don't mind having responsibilities and having to be accountable for my actions as long as I have people I care about around me. I'd like to think that I matter in their lives too."

"You matter, Bella. Charlie loves you and needs you. He'd be lost again without you, and just going through the motions instead of living. I need you. You're important to all of us, and I'm not afraid to say we all love you"

"Thanks, Alice..."

"Now let me ask you a practical question. I know you want to make your own mistakes. You want us to butt out and let you decide how you're going to deal with Edward and Jacob..."

"I don't think I like where this going, Alice."

"No, I'm not going to tell you anything you don't want to hear or try to make up your mind for you."

"Ok..."

"You know we all love you. We all want you to be a part of our lives..."

"How can you say that after everything I've done? Rose and Jasper don't seem to want me around. Even Esme flinches around me and she's the sweetest, most loving woman I know."

"Trust me, they love you and they want you around."

"Ok, if you say so..."

"You know we all want you. Edward is in love with you. I know you have feelings for him too. You claim to have feelings for Jacob too. I'm not discounting that fact. I'll concede that you have these feelings."

"Ok... So you said you had a practical question?"

"Yeah. So if you picked Jacob, how would you survive? Where would you live? Sam isn't going to suddenly fall in love with you and welcome you to La Push with open arms. Jacob's dad feels the same way Sam does. He'd totally ground Jacob if he knew he was even seeing you. You can't even go onto the reservation unless you sneak in and hope you don't get caught."

"Umm... Jacob has a job as a mechanic, and he'll have his certificate when he graduates... He can go to trade school for more certifications. He has a dream to open his own auto shop someday..."

"Good for him. What about you?"

"Umm... I want to go to college and get a degree..."

"So is Jacob going to pay to send you to school? Will you even be able to apply for financial aid without tipping off the divisions? Will he be willing to relocate to wherever you go to school and leave his family and everything he knows behind to follow you?"

"I don't know, Alice. I haven't thought about it..."

"Well, you say you're in love with both of them. You say you want both of them equally. They both do it for you. Maybe if everything else is equal then you ought to start thinking about the practical concerns to see which way you should start leaning."

"I haven't said I'm in love with anybody yet. I've only even known either of them for two weeks. Besides, that seems a little mercenary to me. I've never been a material girl. I don't need things to be happy."

"Well, something is better than nothing, no matter how many ways you slice it. With Jacob, you get love and Jacob, but squat else. You can go back to living on the run and disappear into the wind if you think you can live on love and whatever you can steal.

"With Edward, you get everything. You get welcomed into the family. You get all of us and Edward's love. You get college, a place to stay, shopping sprees, coffee in Chicago, dinner in New York, fashion week in Paris, and between all of us, we keep the divisions off your trail and thumb our noses at the Shop."

"Umm... that does sort of put things into perspective..."

"I thought it might. Are you ready to head back? The boys should be home soon. I need to get you dressed to make out with Edward..."

"Alice! I'm not going to make out with him. We're just going to talk..."

"Yeah, like you talked in his room on Saturday, or at the movies, or in the backseat of his car? How do you manage to get a word in edgewise with his tongue shoved down your throat like that?"

"So there might be some kissing..."

"C'mon, I think you should wear the blue lace garter belt set and the sky blue baby doll nightie. You can wear that silk kimono robe over it if you're self-conscious."

"Wearing something like that is going to totally send the wrong message..."

"You want him to think you're hot right?"

"I don't think that's going to be a problem... If I wear that, he's just going to want to take it off of me."

"You didn't seem too opposed to that idea on Sunday afternoon. Are we playing fair here, or does only Jacob get to take off your clothes?"

"That's not going to happen tonight, Alice. How about some sleep pants and a tank top or nice cami? I can deal with that…"

"I don't see what's wrong with wearing some of the lingerie you picked out tonight. I guess you can wear some of the underwear with sleep pants…"

"Fine, but I'm not wearing a thong..."

"Well, that ought to get the party started. I thought you were afraid to send the wrong message? You know what he's going to think if he walks in and you aren't wearing any..."

"Alice! You know what I mean!"

Alice chuckled and smirked at me. "Don't worry, I'll show you how to put them on and wear them. They aren't so bad once you get used to them. I kind of like them."

"Fine...!"

We left the cafe then and walked off the main street into an alley, carrying our shopping bags.

Alice reached for my hand and I knew what was coming next.

Reality twisted.

There was the sound of fabric ripping and the scent of ozone hung in the air.

Suddenly we were standing on the deck behind the Cullen's house outside Forks. Alice slid the glass door open and we went inside. Nobody was around and we walked upstairs to the third floor. Alice dropped off her bags in her room, and then we went down the hall to the guest room.

We dropped off my bags and then Alice turned to me. "Ok, bath or shower? Chances are if you soak in the tub, you'll still be in there when Edward comes home. If you take a quick shower, we can dress you in the lingerie we discussed."

I thought about it for a minute. If I was in the tub when Edward got home, I'd be naked, and he'd probably get in with me or at least be in the room when I got out. If I showered and dressed for bed, we could fool around a little, but I'd be able to decide how much and how far things progressed.

"Shower...," I said.

"Well, then get in the shower, unless you're planning to take a shower with him."

"Umm..." She wasn't expecting me to just take my clothes off... was she?

"Oh for heaven's sake, Bella! Fine, I'll turn around. You know, I see you in the locker room every day at school. What exactly were you planning to wear when you got out of the shower? I'm helping you get dressed for bed! That's kind of the point of lingerie..."

"Fine... Sleep pants and tank top, Alice."

Alice handed me a toothbrush and a hair clip, "Pin up your hair so it doesn't get wet, we don't have time to dry it."

She was right, and I was being silly. I got undressed and pushed the door open to walk into the bathroom. It still felt funny getting undressed in front of Alice, even if she had seen it all before. We were in a bedroom, not the locker room at school.

I ran the shower, and got in. I felt funny showering in Edward's bathroom and using his soap and toothpaste. I didn't lollygag though, and got washed and rinsed off. I grabbed a towel and dried off, and then wrapped it around myself before walking back into the guest room. Alice had some of the things we'd bought laid out on the bed. She'd relented and actually laid out the things I'd requested.

I guess we were compromising. She had given in and laid out the sleep pants and a camisole for me to wear.

Then she handed me the thong.

I grimaced but slipped it on, and then Alice helped me adjust it to fit properly. I felt uncomfortable with the string stuck in the crack of my ass. It always felt like I had a perpetual wedgie, and I had the urge to dig it out of my butt, but I knew it would just work its way back in again. I was better off just adjusting it how I wanted it to fit and toughing it out until I got used to it.

Alice had bought me several pair, and I had a feeling they were going to become a staple in my underwear drawer from now on.

"So what about you, Alice?" I asked as I pulled on the cami and sleep pants. "Don't you need to get dressed too? Jasper will be home the same time Edward gets here..."

"It's more important what you're going to wear because you're still resisting the inevitable and you and Edward haven't done it yet. I dress up for him sometimes, but I'll just jump in the shower with him tonight. He's usually pretty keyed up after having to hold back so much at one of these wrestling meets and he wouldn't have the restraint to appreciate the outfit. Usually he just wants to jump right into bed and fu...

"Ok! I don't need all the details!"

Alice chuckled. "You can be such a prude, Bella. You just need to let go and live a little. I know what I'm going to be doing... all night long. In different positions too."

"Alice!

She laughed again. "Ok, I'll be good, but don't knock until you've tried it. If you have any questions, though, any questions at all, feel free to ask me."

"So why do you say it's inevitable? What if I don't want that? What if I make a different decision?"

"You're here, aren't you? If you stay on this path, it's going to happen, maybe not tonight, but one night soon. You have to change your path to make a different decision, but you keep coming back, so it's going to happen. You still get to decide the details, like when and whether or not you enjoy it, but you and I both know it's going to happen."

"Ok..." She was right, and I knew it too. It was going to happen if I kept seeing Edward. It was even something I wanted to happen, but not yet... Not tonight.

Then Alice's head cocked to the side like she was listening to something far away. "They're here. Are you coming downstairs?"

I stared at her incredulously. "Dressed like this? Are you on crack?"

"You look fine, nobody will say anything."

Alice reached for my hand, but I snatched it away before she could touch me.

"I'll just wait up here, Alice..."

"Fine, suit yourself. I'll tell Edward you're waiting up for him."

There was the sound of fabric ripping and the scent of ozone in the air, and Alice vanished.

I was kind of keyed up and excited, despite the lateness of the hour. It was after one in the morning and I should have been dead on my feet. The trip to China was tricking my mind into thinking it was earlier than it was. I'd just spent a couple of hours in the bright afternoon sunlight, and it didn't feel like one in the morning anymore.

I should have gone downstairs with Alice. The anticipation was driving me nuts. I didn't know if Edward was going to knock on the door or just walk right in. Would he invite me to go to his room to talk, or would he come in here? I didn't know if I should still be mad at him or if I should just let it go. I wasn't mad anymore, and it would be wrong to pretend just to make him suffer.

Then there were the practical considerations Alice had brought up. Maybe I wasn't a material girl, but I was practical and level headed. Alice was dead on about my feelings, too, and I knew I was falling in love with both of them. Hell, I might as well quit beating around the bush and at least admit it to myself. I was in love with both of them but I had no clue what to do about it.

Charlie was absolutely right when he said I was playing with fire. I knew it was going to flare up soon and burn somebody, most likely me, but I had no clue how to control the firestorm that was building.

I knew Alice was right about a lot. I did want to go to college, and all things being equal, I knew in my head that Edward was the better choice. Unfortunately my head and my heart weren't playing fair and I didn't have the first clue how to let go of either of them. I knew when I was with Jacob I'd find ways to rationalize that decision too.

I was lost in thought and pacing back and forth when the shower came on in the bathroom. I knew if I opened the door and walked in, Edward would be naked in the shower.

I considered just walking in, but I wasn't going to invade his privacy like that, though. Not to mention that it would certainly send the wrong message. I wasn't prepared to up the ante like that unless I was prepared to follow through, and I wasn't.

I didn't want him to find me nervous and pacing. I quickly turned off the light and sat down on the bed, leaning back on the pillows and curling my legs beneath me. I turned on the lamp on the night stand so I wasn't sitting in the dark and I didn't get under the covers, I was afraid I'd send the wrong message again if I was in bed waiting for him.

The shower cut off and I sat there waiting. I wasn't sure what to expect. Was he waiting for me to go find him? I didn't think that was a good idea. I didn't want to appear too eager…

There was a soft knock on the bathroom door.

"Come in…" I said, hoping I was loud enough so he could hear me, but I didn't want to yell.

The door opened and Edward was standing in the doorway. He was wearing a pair of sleep pants and a t-shirt stretched over his hard muscled chest, but his feet were bare and his hair looked tousled and damp.

"Am I disturbing you? I didn't know if you'd still be up… It's late…"

"Come in, Edward. I told you I'd wait up to continue… our discussion…"

He walked into the room, but kept his distance, not quite coming all the way to the bed.

"Ok… Are you still mad?"

"No. I'm not mad anymore. Just don't do it again, ok? Are you at least sorry that you did it? You understand why it was wrong?"

"I'm sorry that my tampering had unforeseen consequences. I'm not sorry that I made it ok for you to sleep over whenever you want to. You believe it was wrong because I caused a permanent shift in your father's personality. I can't see spending more time with you as a bad thing."

"You realize this is probably just exactly the sort of thing he wanted to prevent from happening by restricting my overnight visits to your house."

"He wasn't opposed to you sleeping over before, as long as he knew you were coming to see Alice and not me. He would have talked to Esme about it, and would have preferred to have Alice over at your house unless I was away. Actually his fears for you and what he would have wanted to prevent were much more physical and intimate. Your father has a vivid imagination."

I patted the bed beside me to indicate it was ok for him to join me. "Really? Care to demonstrate?"

"Yes, but I know you aren't. I wouldn't go there, not unless I want to get slapped or thrown across the room, but I'm willing to carry on where we left off earlier…" Edward closed the distance between us and scooted onto the bed beside me.

I reached over and turned off the reading lamp. The bathroom door was still open and the night-light on the sink left a soft glow of light. It was dark in the room, but there was enough light to see by once our eyes adjusted.

"Seriously? What did you see in his head?" I asked, curious now.

"I'm gentleman enough not to go into exacting detail. Suffice it to say, you and Alice discussed it earlier before I got home. Basically what she's doing right now if you really need to know. Of course, if you're willing..."

I didn't need to know, but I knew what he meant.

"Umm..., No... Never mind what I said about a demonstration. So not ready to go there yet. I'm ok with picking up where we left off earlier though..."

"So this is ok then..." Edward said as he reached for me.

Edward pulled me closer, lifting me onto his lap as his arms circled my body... One hand moved into my hair, cradling my head and the other supported my lower back, pulling our bodies together.

His lips were on mine, slick and sweet and insistent as they ground against mine. The tip of his tongue slipped across my lower lip, begging for entry.

My lips parted and he sucked my lower lip between his for a second, tenderly sucking on it. I felt his teeth scrape against my flesh, and then his tongue was dancing with mine, slick and velvety and strong...

The sensations were amazing and I wanted more...

My hands were pressed against his chest, and then my hand moved up to caress his cheek. My fingers moved into the short hairs at the nape of his neck and I ran my finger through the unruly mass of his hair, lightly scraping my fingernails against his scalp.

Our lips were locked together in a passionate kiss as we explored each other's mouths. My hands cradled Edward's head, as I tried to pull him closer and not let him go. His hands were exploring my body as he held me pressed to his chest.

We moved together in a sort of mutual desire to get more comfortable and semi-reclined on the bed. Our legs were tangled together as I wrapped mine over Edward's and we lay back as we made out and shared deep passionate lingering kisses.

He was free to explore my body more now that he wasn't holding me up on his lap. Edward's hand moved up and down my side, stroking down my body to my hip, and down onto my thigh. His hand moved up onto my ass cheek, gripping me through my sleep pants and kneading my flesh. He stroked up my torso along the side of my ribcage, but stopped short of actually placing his hand on my breast.

It was so frustrating, and I wanted to break the kiss and just tell him to do it, but his lips felt too nice on mine and I liked the way our tongues danced and played back and forth.

I knew what the problem was. Edward was trying to be a gentleman and not push my limits. There were times to be a gentleman, but this wasn't one of them. I thought I was sending all the right signals that I was into this and I liked it, but I guess I was going to have to be more direct.

I reached down and took Edward's hand and placed it on my breast. If that wasn't letting him know it was ok, then we had a more serious communication problem than I'd realized.

He got the message. His hand closed on my breast, squeezing and fondling as his thumb stroked my hardening nipple through my camisole. It was very nice and I moaned into his mouth as he played with my chest.

Time seemed to slip away and I was in heaven as we moved together, kissing and nibbling and touching each other. I was totally involved in Edward and he filled all of my senses. His incredible musky male scent filled my nostrils with every breath I took. His lips and body completely captivated my sense of touch as his lips moved on mine and my hands explored his body. His weight settled against me pressing me down, and I liked it. His taste was on my tongue and it was intoxicating and made my head spin drunkenly.

I realized his hand wasn't on my breast anymore. His hand had move to my waist and was trying to worm its way unsuccessfully under my top. He'd managed to expose my stomach as he pushed my shirt up, but now it was bunched up and too tight the way we were laying to get under easily.

I broke the kiss, and lightly pushed him away. "Hold on a minute, let me up…" I told him.

Edward immediately backed off and let me sit up. "I'm sorry, Bella. I shouldn't have pushed you so far, so fast…"

"No, it's alright… Just give me a second…" I crossed my arms on my body, reaching for the hem of the cami, and took it off, pulling it over my head and dropping it on the floor.

Edward's eyes were big as he sat staring at me, or rather my chest. His eyes were locked on my tits in rapt attention and then I reached for the hem of his t-shirt, tugging it up his body.

He got the hint, and whipped his shirt off and it landed on top of mine on the floor.

I smiled and reached for him, pulling him back down on the bed with me. His hands moved back onto my naked chest and it was even more incredible without the intervening layers of clothing separating us.

Edward's nipples were just as hard as mine, and his hard body was incredible. His muscles moved like oiled steel under his silky skin, hard and precise and defined. He didn't have a spare ounce of fat on his body and I touched every part of it that I could reach.

I was totally into this as we made out on my bed. Time slipped away from us as we shared passionate kisses and ran our hands over every inch of exposed flesh. Edward became a little more daring and took the initiative to kiss down onto my chest and sucked my nipples into his mouth, lightly grazing them with his teeth and rolling them between his lips as his tongue stroked them.

It was heaven and I didn't want it to end. But it was getting so late and the hours were starting to catch up with me.

"It's getting late, Edward. We should get some sleep before we have to get up and go to school."

"Ok. I need to use the bathroom first..."

Edward slipped off the bed and stood up. It was totally surreal, lying here while he stood looking at me while I was bare from the waist up. I could feel the blush rising in my cheeks as I glanced up at him standing beside me.

"Hey, don't be embarrassed. This was great, Bella. I don't want you to feel self-conscious about this."

"I know… I've never done anything like this before…"

"Neither have I. That's why it's so special."

I just nodded. It made me feel a little better about this, knowing we were both so inexperienced.

"I'm going to use the restroom."

"Ok…"

"Can I come back to your room when I'm done?"

"I really should get some sleep… It'll be morning in a couple of hours… We have school in the morning…"

"Nothing you don't want to happen will happen, Bella. I'm not going to attack you in your sleep. I won't even get under the covers if you don't want me to."

"Umm… Ok… You can get under the covers…"

"I'll just be a minute."

I slipped off the bed then and scurried around the bed to find my camisole and pulled it back on. Then I drew back the covers and jumped into bed. I pulled the covers up to my chin and shivered in anticipation, wondering what I'd gotten myself into.

I had never done anything like this before. I'd been intent on kissing him and making out with him. I was cool with losing some clothes and touching some, but I hadn't anticipated sleeping with him, even if nothing else happened tonight.

The toilet flushed in the bathroom again. I hadn't even realized the door had closed. Everything was happening so fast.

Edward was silhouetted in the open doorway. Then the bathroom door closed blocking the night light. It made me feel better that he couldn't see how nervous I was.

I could hear the near silent pad of his footsteps across the room. I saw his form bend over, and I knew he was picking up his t-shirt. There was a rustle of fabric and then the covers were being pulled back.

Edward slipped into bed behind me, and scooted close. His arm slipped around my waist and he cuddled up behind me, spooning me as he pulled me into his chest.

I had to admit it was nice and I liked it. He was so warm and smelled wonderful. I felt safe with his arms around me, and I sighed contentedly as I sank into his chest.

His hand caressed my cheek and swept my hair behind my ear. He leaned close and kissed my cheek.

"This has been the best night of my life. Goodnight, Bella."

"Goodnight, Edward…"

I lay there like that for a long time, and finally I felt Edward drift off to sleep. His breathing was regular and rhythmic as his chest gently rose and fell. It was soothing and I finally relaxed and let sleep take me.

Author's note:

I realize a lot of people either love or hate Alice. I suppose I fall into the came with the group who like her. I'd have to say that she's probably my favorite character in the series besides Bella. I realize a lot of people don't like her because they believe she's too manipulative and controlling, but that's just who she is. I believe most of the time what she's doing she does out of love for the people around her, even if she does try to control their lives. I feel that it's a reaction to her early life and the fact that she had so little control over what happened to her and the things done to her before she came into her own and could do something about it.

Regardless of whether or not she's manipulative or controlling, she is Bella's best friend and has what she considers to be her best interests at heart. She's trying to help the only way she knows how. She doesn't want to hurt Bella, she trying to help, but perhaps she is a bit pushy. That's just who she is.

Reviews are always appreciated. I'd love to hear what you think. I read all the reviews, although I don't necessarily reply to all of them. I usually answer questions as long as they don't give away too much of what's to come.