Mother of All Darkness
Author's note: Opps, forget to give credit to LordGrise on the last chapter, he did a major rewrite of the Richard transformation scene (three cheers for LordGrise, Anitaverse police and contributor!) Plus, he had major influence in this chapter is significant as he was the one urging that a softer tone needs to be taken by all involved.
A critical Anita Blake story element is her almost bottomless rage and anger. The death of her mother, the behaviors of her father as he grieved, and his remarrying. Anita's perceived rejections (real and imagined) of her step mother. Her zombie rising powers manifesting, causing all kinds of family issues. A fiancée who abandoned her because of his raciest parents once they learned that her mother was Hispanic. All these components helped shape and form the Anita Blake of fiction. Anita Blake is a hurricane of rage, but Illyana is easily her match in the rage category; one of the few who can. I am so looking forward to the part of this story when Anita truly taps into Illyana's rage.
I lifted some words from the anitablake wiki on lycanthropes for this chapter (one should always give credit, oh, their web site is great). Mostly for none Anita Blake readers of this story.
Part 21a: Here kitty kitty…
Gods, the hug with Richard was good. Two back to back hugs with no shouting between us. And… well… he was naked both times. Mmmm I like all my men but Richard is the most buff, so yummy, so… Richard.
And unlike the last group hug this one was just Richard and I. Tight against his warm body, the contrast with the cold air delightful. Tenderness, not possessive, not demanding, just… loving. Just made me want to…
Make love. Or more crudely, screw his brains out.
And I could feel that Richard felt the same way, both emotionally, and with what was poking me as little Richard became much less little.
Thankfully no verbal interruptions from Illyana as she was busy discussing things with the Micah and Nathaniel and apparently resolutely ignoring Richard and I. Nathaniel was asking if he and Micah could do the ritual at the same time; which was apparently a big no no according to Illyana. Too much to for her to keep track of as she supposedly only had a few moments to prevent any bad mojo from happening.
The vampires were still, likely just observing and talking silently to each other.
(Gods, she can be such a bitch.) I mentally groused to Richard. I was still pissed off about her comments about how stupid I'd been about Richard's lycanthropy. Comments that hit home, comments that reflected what I already knew. The truth hurts, or so the saying goes; and yeah… it does.
(She must be a graduate of the same school you attended.) Mused back Richard.
(Huuu? In what way?) Was my reaction.
A sense of ut-oh from Richard and a slight tensing. Can't blame him, we both can just somehow find a way to say the wrong thing at the wrong time and considering our track record his sudden tensing made sense. Plus he's a guy and men just are men at times when it comes to talking to a woman.
I sent some assurances. (It's ok, you didn't say anything wrong, but… in what way?)
I felt Richard chew on it as it were then carefully pick his words. (She keeps pushing people away. Just like you used to and still do from time to time. Plus, she has the same vibe you had back then, that concern about having relationships; almost like how you…. That feeling of that she doesn't deserve good things that you used to have. Plus… you know how you're concerned that you might be a sociopath?"
Not just concerned, that part of me was there… but... I was less concerned now.
(Yeah…?)
(Maybe… what she is… is what you dodged.)
I thought upon that, upon how I'd used to be before… before love, before the men in my life. Men, not man, men. Just is when you're a living sexual vampire and casual sex with strangers is not one of my kinks as it were. Sex is intimacy and regrettably feeding as well. It's part of my nature, by beliefs, that sex is supposed mean more then just pleasure and feedings. Speaking of which, still not feeling any hunger from the ardeur, that has to be her doing, just like Belle Morte said.
I sent back. (Because I have people in my life…)
(Yeah… She feels like Edward, only…)
(Only what?)
(Scarier. Edward likes to kill, we can all feel it. All the weres and vampires can feel it. Even though he's baseline human his Alpha as it were tops most people. He can intimidate the heck out people out, same as you, and same as her."
There are killers and there are sociopaths and psychopaths. That's why I am scarier then most weres and vampires, that sociopaths part of me. I'm nicknamed the Executioner, Edward is Death. And yeah, I get the same feeling from her that Richard was describing. That she was a member of the same club.
(Seventeen going on a thousand.) Was my reply.
A bit of self musing about Edward. Yeah, really need to try to keep Edward out of this, he did incinerate her after all. I know I'd be pissed about something like that, no telling what she might do.
I finally, reluctantly, untangled myself from Richard's hug. I gave him a brief "Later, if we're both still in the mood" whisper and watched him dress. Gods… naked Richard just makes me lose IQ points, and he knows it. He dressed slowly, flexing and showing off his body to me. Mmmmmmm.
He finally finished and we rejoined the group. Nathaniel was already naked and ready for his turn. If Richard is the buff weight lifter, then Nathaniel is the tightly muscled swimmer's body, with that beautiful hair that does down all the way to his knees. Sometimes, in bed, I just love to cover myself with his hair. Which sounds sensuous, and it is; but one must take care not to pull on the roots; not that he minds the pain, but the long hair is so much a component of his stripper act and accidentally ripping out chunks would be bad.
He's my wife as it were, does most of the house work and makes our house a home. He's also very romantic, but in the being woo'd kind of way. I'm pleased with his growing self confidence even if that does cause me some consternation at the things he requests (a submissive sexual masochist has needs that differ from my other men).
I muse a bit more as Illyana and Nathanial got ready. I… we… know so little of his childhood. His mother had died when he was young and his step father had turned very abusive when drunk. His older brother, Nicky, had been beaten to death by their step father when Nathaniel was seven. That's when he ran away to live on the streets. Shards, a trickle of my internal rage awoke, he was a child prostitute by age ten.
Illyana started to walk around Nathaniel. As with Richard the glyphs and symbols flowed into existence around him; but much fewer then anybody to date. There were the two stars, one that looked the same as the one that had circled Richard so that must be me, the second could only be Damian. This was also a fuzzy haze about him, with one bright star in that haze; that… must the Pard and Micah. There were the rings and glyphs, the patterns that define him, his beast, and… her. Like with Richard there are those smoky rings and glyphs of blackness and fire.
Nathaniel has blocked out most of his early childhood in order to survive, but he has shared a little of it with me, with us. At some point in his late teens, Nathaniel was found by Gabriel (the former and now dead Nimir-Raj of the Pard). By that point, Nathaniel according to his own words, was a drug addicted prostitute, and was so submissive and masochistic that he was literally incapable of saying no to any torture proposed to him. Strange, I loathed Gabriel, that sadistic evil bastard, yet even vile people do some good. Gabriel turned helped Nathaniel stop taking drugs after he'd turned him into a were, and did his duty in making sure his new cats didn't kill anyone before they learned control of their beast, but he was unable or unwilling to address Nathaniel's other problems and simply pimped Nathaniel, only restraining customers from taking too much advantage of him. Nathaniel had played a role in Raina Wallis's porn movies (the now dead former Lupa of the werewolves), raping and hurting the werewolves, back when Gabriel was Nimir-Raj (Gabriel and Raina were two of the most foul people I've ever met).
Yet, despite being a sexual sadist and a lot of bad things, Gabriel had taken better care of Nathaniel than anyone had in a very long time, and even got Jean-Claude to help in teaching Nathaniel social graces. Gabriel had gotten Nathaniel to audition for the job at Guilty Pleasures (back when Jean-Claude had not been the head vampire), Nathaniel had thought he was there to sleep with Jean-Claude.
Jean-Claude taught Nathaniel how to be elegantly sexy onstage, and then continued to teach him which fork to use and not to tuck a napkin in his shirt collar. Nathaniel had received even more etiquette lessons at Gabriel's request, as one of Nathaniel's former regulars was very rich and wanted to take him to fancy places without anyone learning that he was a hooker or a stripper (yes he still strips, and no he no longer hooks, and yeah I get really pissed off at people who thinks he still does).
I'd killed Gabriel and Raina when they tried to have me star in my own personal snuff film where Gabriel attempted to rape and kill me (and I suspect eat my corpse as well). Which had resulted in my later becoming the owner of the Pard as the remaining wereleopards were just too weak to protect themselves, and to say that many of the werewolves had a bone to pick with the wereleopards would be an understatement, even if they had only done the things they'd done because Gabriel had made them. The two groups got along ok now, but there was always a sub current of tension from more then a few of the wolves.
Illyana stepped back and with a flash of light there was a deer. Unlike Richard who'd gone after the deer in human form, Nathaniel turned into his half human have leopard form and pounced on the deer. Again a snapped neck, likely they were all trying to kill the deer as fast a possible for my sake.
A bloody muzzle, tearing bites. And a silent thanks that Illyana was better at blocking memory flow. Nathaniel's life had the most horrors of abuse, both as a child and as an adult. Just the thought of what had been done to him made me want to put a bullet in the head of his abusers…
Abusers…
Oh crap, Illyana had been…
That's when memories and feelings from Nathaniel bleed into us. That… and the sounds of a female child screaming as the distorted swirl of memories overwhelmed us.
Part 21b: Bad trip on memory lane
Pain!
Abuse!
Fear!
Suffering!
RAGE!
Make it stop!
Please make it stop!
Make it stop and make the bastards pay!
MAKE!
THEM!
PAY!
Part 21c: Nathaniel
The memories of suffering retreated, leaving a blurry orange burning glow from the tears in my eyes. Shit, something was wrong. I wiped my eyes with my left hand and grasped my 9mm with my right hand. Several of the trees were in flames, casting orange light and flickering shadows.
Illyana was once again in her Darkchilde form and standing in a circle of fire that contained a burning pentagram with her at the center. Nathaniel, in his human form was standing before, her out side of her circle. They were arguing.
Nathaniel had that soft tone of voice he uses when he argues about something he's resolute about. "No Illyana, you can't. This not right."
"They have to pay."Was her plaintive reply. Less of a declaration and more like a plea, like she was somehow constrained by Nathaniel.
Rather obvious who "they" were, and what Illyana had been in the process of doing. I quickly scanned about. Just us, and the others were now recovering as well. We were in no apparent danger so I decided to observe for now as I holstered my gun, like things were delicately balanced.
Nathaniel sounded like he was trying to talk her off of a ledge or something. "It's not yours to do Illyana."
"They… what they did… to m… to you… to"
"It's in the past. I'm… working though it. I have people who care about me now… It's okay. I don't want you to do what you're trying to do. It's… bad. Bad for you… and bad for… us."
Illyana mumbled, but we could all hear it. "I swore…that nobody ever… got to do that to me… again."
And that's a massive bull's-eye on any theories about abuse.
Nathaniel kept soothing her, several of us took a step in their direction only to get a wave off by him.
"They can't. They didn't. Don't… do this."
He either finally convinced her, or somehow made her not do what she had been in the processes of doing. The fiery pentagon started to fade, and with that fading she transformed back to her human form and sank down to her knees. A flicker of flame and it was gone, and with it the flames in trees subsided to just a few burning spots and a few burning branches on the ground.
That's when Nathaniel walked the few steps that separated them, dropped to his knees as well and gave her a hug. A hug that she tentatively returned, no tears that I could see from her, just the feeling of frustrated and suppressed rage.
Okay, the demon defiantly has demons was my thought.
Part 21d: Campfires and conversations
Richard stated the obvious. "I think we need another timeout." A suggestion that we all agreed with.
We ended up sitting on the ground in a circle with a few burning branches in the middle, casting a warm golden glow over everybody; like we were all just camping. Richard had hesitantly poked at a burning branch with his hands, then had tentatively picked it, and a few others up, to form the fire; so the big yes on the fire proof.
Nathaniel was sitting next to her and I was on the other side of the circle. I suddenly got a weird craving for S'mores of all things, which is odd because I hate S'mores, but for some reason gram crackers with melted chocolate suddenly felt utterly tasty.
The suppressed rage coming off of her smelled delicious… no… Bad idea. So not taking a bite of that apple again.
As we all sat there I suddenly got a memory flash of a similar fire, but this time there was a purple dragon sitting next me and there were a bunch of adults and what looked like high school kids. And a very striking black woman with long white hair even thought she looked to be only in her late twenties or early thirties, with blue eyes of all things
I blinked and the image was gone. Just us around a fire.
I spoke a gentle "Can we… discuss what just happened?"
Gentle because upset people respond better that way. I was rather positive I know, had to be PTS (Post Traumatic Stress). Nathaniel's experiences are likely were far too close to her own. But better if she talks, which true for police procedures as well as for physiology; but for different reasons.
Silence as the fire crackled, I could see the fames in her eyes, but they looked different then the fire's flames, not just reflections. Then a sigh as she started talking and the non reflected flames died out.
"Nathaniel's memories… resonated. I… guess I'm not getting the hang of this."
Jean-Claude spoke. "Apologies Illyana… We should have warned you as to the history of our little cat." Little cat a bit of a nickname for Nathaniel that only Jean-Claude uses, it's not derogatory; Nathaniel loves it.
"What did Nathaniel block you from doing?" Prompted Damian.
Nathaniel responded. "Cursing my abusers."
Illyana followed up on Nathaniel's answer. "It's what I thought you all wanted. It… was what I wanted… really wanted."
Richard posed the delicate question. "Cursing as in pain or hurt or cursing as in…"
And sudden shadow play behind her as various fire cast flickering shadows morphed into little humanoid shadows writhing in torment as they burned away. Lasted just a few seconds but the message was clear as to the intent.
"Why did you stop?" Inquired Asher. "You do not strike me as one who pauses when your mind is made up. Nathaniel forbid and you… obeyed? Or did he convince you?"
She stared into the fire as she answered, or didn't answer to be more precise. "Both… neither… it's complicated."
"So explain it." Was my reply. "Complicated does not mean you can't explain it."
The conversation petered out as we all waited. Illyana poked at the fire with a stick for a bit before finally answering. "I've never had a familiar, much less… seven. Your thoughts and feelings… I can't always distinguish which are mine and which are yours."
"The term familiar is more then a little derogatory." Commented Micah.
"And the vampire term servant isn't?" Was her reply.
Okay, that was a valid point. While many vampires cherish their servants, many also keep them in deep servitude, and many also abuse them. The vampire was the master of the relationship. And most servants are very involuntarily bounded into the relationship by the vampire.
A vampire bounds a servant with four marks. And until a servant has all four marks another, stronger, vampire can also mark a servant. And there are apparently ways to erase the marks, but only the Mother of Darkness knows how… and… now that I think of it; Illyana. Back when she'd first hired me, she had offered me the opportunity to erase the marks that I had with Richard and Jean-Claude if I so wished it.
First Mark: The vampire shares its life essence with the servant. The first mark grants the human servant greater endurance, healing, speed and resistance to vampire mental powers, and an almost complete immunity to their own vampire's mental powers. Jean-Claude has a scarred back from when he was a whipping boy in his youth, he uses his vampire powers to cloud that from people, but is unable to hid it from me. And yes the incredible beauty that is the rest of him is completely real and not vampire powers.
Second Mark: The second mark allows the vampire to draw power from the human servant, to experience food and drink consumed by the servant, and to enter the servant's dreams. Of high use if a vampire is unable to feed, energy is drawn from the servant and the servant gets the munchies (massive munchies, for both food and… well… for me feeding sexually as well; and yeah… that happened when Richard and Jean-Claude got badly hurt).
Third Mark: The third mark is made by the vampire drinking the servant's blood. It grants the servant full endurance and allows the vampire and servant to communicate mentally even when awake.
Fourth Mark: The fourth mark is made when the servant drinks the vampire's blood, cementing their bond. It conveys immortality to the servant, almost complete mental communication, and allows the servant to draw on the vampire's strength. I originally believed that this mark caused human servants to lose their souls, and I still lack the forth mark from Jean-Claude.
I'm not a vampire but I somehow bounded Nathaniel and Damien to me in a second triumvirate, and it happened all at once and no blood was exchanged. Don't know if my triumvirate has all the benefits, but people are beginning to say I look well preserved for my age.
No idea how demon bounding works on a triumvirate, much less seven, but… apparently we all took her blood, and some flesh apparently by the weres and…gulp… me. That sounds really fourth mark'ish. And we appear to be drawing power from her… crap. But she didn't drink our blood… I think. But she sure drank (a brief sexual image of her head between my legs…) … um… ok; let's not go there.
"No." Replied Jean-Claude about the servant comment. "It denotes who is the center of the power focus. Damien and Nathaniel are Anita's servants to use the word. Just as Anita and Richard are mine. Neither Anita or I engage in the level of subordination that many do."
Asher added a bit. "And for some, servant is a fancy word for slave."
Yep. And not big on the idea of the whole "I too serve the master" thing that so many vampires like to say. An altitude that gets Jean-Claude quite a bit of flack from other powerful vampires (I'm unruly. Gee, who would have guessed). But they don't have a necromancer as a servant, or bonded companion as some of us like to say (oh God, I sound politically correct all of a sudden. What's next? Weres are lunarally challenged?)
Richard added. "But a witch's familiar is always an animal, or so I've read."
"I suppose…" Was her mumbled reply. "But I'm not a witch, and you are not animals."
Asher asked again. "Why did you listen to Nathaniel?"
She gave us a glare, but it lacked impact. I supposed it's hard to be the big bad with your familiars, crap now I'm using the word. Behind her, her shadow rubbed its forhead even though she didn't move.
Then she spoke. "Because he wanted me to not… because he chose to not… do evil. To not be like…" She left the rest unsaid but the intent was plain. Not be like her.
"So you listened to him." Stated Micah.
"So… yeah, I listened to him." Was her grudging reply, like it hurt to say it. "Why is that so important?"
"Because it means we're not slaves." Was my answer.
"You're not." Was her reply. "But I fear that I am… unduly influenced by you."
"Welcome to the club." Was my reply.
Hmmm, I'm missing something… Nathaniel, that's it. "What happened to you Nathaniel after you… um… fed?"
Nathaniel didn't answer, instead he gave me a mischievous grin from across the fire as he stood up, stepped back a few steps and disrobed. He started to walk around our little circle and as he did he shifted to his full leopard form.
INFO Interlude
Time I guess for a few additional were facts. All lycanthropes have at least two forms - human and animal. Powerful lycanthropes can also assume a "hybrid" form that is bipedal with animal characteristics. Very powerful lycanthropes can even transform just a part of their body at will (for example, growing claws from their fingertips). Modern lycanthropes are much larger in animal form than their natural counterparts, but the size used to be identical to natural form in ancient strains that are still present in some rare lycanthropes who share the immortality of their vampire masters.
Changing between forms requires a great deal of energy. Most lycanthropes need to feed after changing to animal form (which was why I suppose Illyana, in part, had a deer ready). After returning to human form, lycanthropes usually collapse into a comatose state for several hours, the length of their recuperation depending on their power level. Very powerful lycanthropes do not need to feed immediately and won't collapse when changing back. Nathaniel was able to change more then most were's of his power level because he was bounded to me and… bet you some fried dough, bounded to her now as well.
Back to info on weres. An upcoming transformation is preceded by a spike in body temperature. The transformation can be very painful, as bones and flesh reshape, although not fighting the transformation makes it easier. The transformation generates a hot, clear fluid that sometimes practically explodes around the transforming lycanthrope, usually leaving themselves clean and dry but covering everything else nearby. The goop is rather hard to wash out if it manages to dry into your hair (believe me, I so know from personal experience). The lycanthrope will be hungry immediately after transformation, and less powerful individuals may not be entirely in control of themselves until after they feed.
Most lycanthropes learn to control their transformations and learn to retain most of their reasoning ability even in the transformed state with practice. Even weak individuals can generally change shape almost at will, although they all must transform with the full moon. Strong emotions, pain, magic, vampiric powers, and mind-altering substances that work on lycanthropes can however erode that control, or even remove it entirely. Lack of control is usually seen as a sign of weakness in were society, so more dominant lycanthropes usually strive especially hard to master their urges. Lycanthropes that simply follow their instincts may command fear, but rarely any respect, and they usually end up getting put down by either human authorities (usually with the help of a vampire executioner like me or a bounty hunter) or the other preternatural beings of the area after they become too destructive and disruptive to tolerate.
A newly infected lycanthrope will likely experience their senses sharpening as well as a slight rise in their base body temperature. They may also gain some instincts typical for their particular type of lycanthropy even before their first transformation. It will usually take some time for them to master their newly increased speed and strength, and sex can be extremely hazardous to their partners, you don't want to lose control of your beast when you orgasm, that usually results in the death of your sex partner and a one way trip to the execution chamber for you; and no, the law does not give a crap about extenuating circumstances) Kill a person in were or half were form and it's an automatic death sentence). It's usual for a new lycanthrope to have very little control and no memory of their initial transformations, although they usually start to get better at both after a few times. It's the responsibility of their lycanthrope group to keep them in check during this learning period.
New lycanthropes generally start at the bottom of their lycanthrope group's internal hierarchy, and need to work their way up according to the customs of that lycanthrope group, their personal ambitions, and their power level (which may or may not increase over time). Well-functioning lycanthrope groups assist their new members in the adjustment to their new circumstances, but even badly-functioning ones usually at least keep the new lycanthropes from slaughtering anyone until they learn control; not doing such tends to result in villagers with pitchforks or more commonly now, people like me showing up.
One of the goals of the Lycanthrope Coalition, founded and run by Micah, is to extend this kind of help even to single survivors of lycanthrope attacks and to small lycanthrope groups who might lack resources by themselves; and to all weres regardless of type. To care for other's who are not part of your were group was rather a new idea in the were community.
End INFO Interlude
So… Nathaniel shifted, leaving behind that clear goop, and a black leopard now circled us. Nathaniel's animal form had always been a black furred leopard, but now it was as if he was darkness given furry form. And he was strutting his stuff as it were; he was a stripper and just know how to showoff.
Interestingly, when he moved into a shadow it was like his cat body just vanished; talk about perfect camouflage. Although if you looked closely you could see his cat eyes, which were now red instead of their former green.
Nathaniel started to circle us a second time when Illyana reached out and tweaked his tail. Started he leaped into her shadow, but came out of another shadow behind me.
Nathaniel froze, stunned as the rest of us; except Illyana who just looked slightly impressed as she commented. "That should come in handy at some point."
Nathaniel transformed back, looking very surprised.
"And your beast is under control?" Asked Richard and Micah at the same time.
"Yes." Answered Nathaniel, rather smugly I think.
"I don't… know." Sighed Illyana.
All eyes focused on Illyana. "What's wrong with Nathaniel?" I asked with a sudden anger.
"Nothing's wrong with Nathaniel." Was her reply as she poked at the fire again. "He's fine."
"So why… oh. That."
"Yeah… That."
I once said on the list of things you don't want to hear, the IRS wants you to answer a few questions, the police consider you a person of interest, and a demon finds you interesting; I'd pick the police and the IRS before the demon. Now add the statement that a were dragon was having trouble with her beast. I'd definitely pick the IRS and the police first, and I'd not sure between the dragon and the demon.
All the guys exchanged glances. That kind of glance that said Houston, we have a problem.
"What do you mean you don't know?" Was my question.
"I… don't know. The dragon urges have been getting… stronger."
"Was it us?" Asked Jean-Claude.
"Possible, but I suspect it is what has been done to me here by the unknown enchantments, and, I suppose, how I first expressed the dragon form."
"How did… you express dragon, if you don't mind sharing." Asked Micah. "Sometimes it helps a new were to talk about their experiences."
"I'm not a were." Was her answer. "The moon means nothing to me and you can't catch dragon from me."
"But you have a dragon form." Replied Micah. "The beast is the beast regardless."
I added. "I caught a sliver of a memory from you when we were in Khufu's pyramid, when you… we… raised Khufu from the dead." I left unsaid about how that had ended in the blowing up the pyramid, but that's another story.
She stares at me and I remember it all over again:
Bound!
I am bound and they are consuming me.
Flesh and blood are taken as I scream.
My pain is also being... fed upon; but it is not diminished.
I am… nourishment.
He knows so much about my kind and the rules that govern us. But he has made a mistake.
I am more then he knows.
With a scream I give shape to the hunger that lies at my core and burst my bonds. With a beat of my new found wings I extinguish the flames that provided illumination. Yet I can still see, see and hear and smell. It's as if the room is still lit. I seal the door with a minor enchantment and give voice to my displeasure.
I... I lose myself in violence for a short while. I recover to find the doors opening to show yet another vampire...
I shake myself loose from the memory and gag a bit as I remember what I… no… what she had done.
She watches me gag while the others next to me hold me for a few moments. I finally stop gagging and spit out the saliva behind me. She looks… not embarrassed, but…resigned?
"Well?" I ask.
A scowl, but that just don't have impact on us anymore. Slowly, hesitantly, we learned how Illyana came to our world, and what happened in that temple in Egypt.