Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I own the plot.

Thank you to Dazzled eyes22 for your help on this chapter. I am not really sure how to put this beast together anymore without you.

AN:

A major thanks to those of you who chose to comment or add me to your alerts. I love reading them and respond to the best of my ability.

So see how things develop between Bella and Edward. Let me know what you think.

oooooOOOOooooo

Chapter 21

Boy was I facing the somber and depressing music of my actions. A few days had passed since I sent the letter to Edward. I had heard nothing back. I never knew this level of guilt was even possible. It was eating at my soul. I'd known for a long time that I was in love with Edward. It was gut-wrenching knowing that I had devastated the man I loved and I had no one to blame, but me.

I had flipped through the pictures from when we met at the resort numerous times just wallowing in the pain of how it all had gone wrong. I thought up countless scenarios about how I should have contacted him when I was pregnant with the news of our child and rejoicing in the fact that now I knew exactly how he would react, but it was absolutely useless to live in that dream world.

Another thing that bugged me was Rosalie. I had secretly googled her and learned exactly who she was. Edward had scolded me for thinking too little of myself, but seeing Rosalie Hale had been another blow to my self-esteem. Talk about a swimsuit goddess! She was blonde and utterly perfect.

Emmett had kept prodding me for details on my encounter with Edward, but I refused to talk about it. I couldn't open up to him. Not yet anyway. I needed to sort this out in my head before I could dish the details to Emmett.

Almost every night, I had cried myself to sleep. I didn't know how to avoid the tears either. Tonight was no different from the rest. Jasper and Alice could be heard talking, sometimes laughing quietly in the living room. I had learned to cry inaudibly, so that I wouldn't alarm them or wake up Elizabeth. The light on my phone flashed insistently. I had it on silent.

My heart fluttered insanely when I saw the number. I had it memorized. I snorted a few tears back too loudly, before I picked up. Elizabeth stirred and grumbled in her crib.

"Hi," Edward breathed. He didn't sound as upset or distraught as the last time that I had heard his voice.

"Hi back," I murmured. I wiped my face, wishing my voice wasn't so thick and pathetic with tears. "How are you feeling?"

"Better." It was silent. "How's Elizabeth?" He asked after what seemed like minutes of dead air.

"She's running a slight fever, but she's fine." I drew a deep breath to help ease my sobs.

"She's sick?" he asked instantly concerned.

"It's just a slight cold. Nothing bad. She's sleeping right now." I wiped more falling tears, feeling happy and devastated at the same time to have an almost normal conversation with him.

"Oh." He listened quietly after a while. "Are you crying?" he asked suddenly.

"Yeah," I croaked as that simple question brought on a tidal wave of tears. "I'm just so sorry, Edward. I'm sorry." I managed to say, but it was completely muddled by tears and hardly comprehensible. I wished that I was able to calm myself down. I glanced down into her crib hoping talking wasn't going to wake her up, because there was no way I was going into the kitchen with Alice and Jasper still up. I just didn't need them to know.

"I know you're sorry, Bella. I, er… I got your letter through my lawyer. Thank you," he said appreciatively.

"Oh." I breathed, knowing my feeble attempt with what I hoped that we could be was laid out before him. It made me anxious and left me feeling completely exposed.

"I called to say thank you. The scrapbook was very nice. I think I read it like four times already." I almost cringed at the thought about my hardly legible handwriting, compared to his elegant script.

"I didn't know how else to tell you about everything," I snorted. "I wanted to show you that I truly am sorry for how I handled things between us. I wish that I would have done everything differently."

He sighed loudly, almost irritated. "I know you are sorry, Bella. You keep saying it." He paused. "Instead of hashing out how sorry you are and how disappointed I am, perhaps we should try to move forward. It wouldn't change a damn thing treading that same path, so I think we should look ahead and not backwards."

"Okay," I mouthed stunned. "What do you have in mind?"

"I have some time off this coming weekend. I would like to see my daughter. I'm still in Mexico right now, but I could come to you."

"Sure," I almost barked into my phone at the pure thrill of getting to spend time with him. Elizabeth whined a little in her crib. I lowered my voice again. "Uhm, the weather is supposed to be really nice. We could take Elizabeth out…"

He cut me off. "That's not really any good, Bella. I wish that I could do that…" he trailed off, letting it hang there mid air. Oh, I got it - too public for him. It was strange thinking about that very public part of his persona. I was living in oblivion, but he wasn't. Besides now, there was also Elizabeth to consider. I had no clue how popular he was out there, but I was sure the press would have a field day when they found out about Elizabeth. I wasn't ready for that, nor did I want to subject my daughter to whatever mayhem followed Edward around.

"Okay, we'll figure something else out," I redirected, letting my mind run wild with possibilities.

"Bella?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah."

"I don't mean to be insensitive or an asshole, but I really haven't gotten my life figured out at all. I haven't found a solution to anything other than I need to be a father to Elizabeth. I can't give you an answer to what you said in your letter about the future or how you feel about me. I know it complicates things, but I just need clear lines for now. I still need to figure a bunch of stuff out. I need some time, Bella."

"I understand." I answered quietly, while feeling my heart split down the middle and my soul drop into a deep dark abyss. I had naively hoped so much to get an answer from him.

oooooOOOOooooo

I had a short day at the store then I took Elizabeth home early, so that we could relax. My mind was reeling how Edward and Elizabeth could do something together that would allow him the time and space to spend with her completely out of sight.

Tears came as usual after we had dinner and I retreated to my room. I hardly started my daily meltdown before the phone rang. I picked up quickly, having a strong feeling who was calling. I wiped my face from tears and cleared my voice. "Hello."

"Hi. I meant to call earlier, but I didn't have a chance to be alone until now. How is she today?" Edward asked immediately. I smiled. He was just like any other loving and worried father, who was working late and just wanted to check up on his family. It didn't make me miss Edward any less. Father… the word just stuck in my mind. Suddenly, I knew where we could go.

"The same. Stuffy nose and a slight fever, but nothing too bad." I bit my lip, not considering it for another second before I made the offer. He would probably think I was insane. Well, I even felt like I was slightly unhinged at times. "You still have free time this weekend?"

"Sure," he answered sounding confused.

"I was thinking about your time with Elizabeth. How about we could go somewhere where you don't have to worry about being seen in public?"

He laughed gently. "And where would that be?"

"Can you get to Seattle?"

"Bella, I grew up in Seattle. I think I can manage that." It was hard to miss the sardonic tone in his voice. He was mocking me.

"Oh. Er… anyway, what I was thinking is that I haven't seen my father for a while and I haven't been up to his place for years. So perhaps, we could go there. I promise you that there will be no one around and you can spend the entire weekend with Elizabeth. My dad would love to have us and he hasn't seen her since she was born, so it would basically be like killing two birds with one stone. I also think it would be good if you met Elizabeth's grandfather." I ranted, hoping my sales-pitch was understandable. This was seriously a spur of the moment idea.

"Uhm… I like that." Edward answered after a while. Together, we went over the details. Now, all I had to do was call my dad.

Charlie's joy was hardly contained when I announced that we would be paying him a visit this weekend. I was surprised that he even cancelled his pending fishing trip. I didn't even think that was possible for him. Charlie and not going fishing was like a church without a pastor. The two didn't function very well without each other.

I really didn't know what the hell to pack for the trip. I also feared that I really hadn't thought this through at all. What the hell was I thinking bringing Edward with me to see my dad and what the hell was Edward thinking by accepting? He had been so mad the last time that I'd seen him. What if he spent the next two days glaring at me and making me feel guilty for what I had done? Sure I did feel guilt, but as he said it himself, we should move forward and not backwards. That gave me an inkling of hope. Maybe, this wouldn't be so bad. He had seemed so reasonable on the phone.

oooooOOOOooooo

I flipped the envelope hating the bills that just kept piling up. I was about to toss it aside with the rest of stuff that I needed to deal with, but the name caught my eye - Jenks. Oh no. More legal stuff. Apprehensively, I opened the envelope and gaped at the contents. There were first class airplane tickets to Seattle for Elizabeth and me. Well, that beats flying coach like I had any other choice. This was impressive, but also a little disturbing that he would throw that amount of cash at a pair of airline tickets. I was perfectly comfortable paying my own way and flying coach. I found my phone and typed a message.

Thanks for the tickets. I will pay you back… eventually.

A few minutes passed, then my phone beeped and the display blinked.

I'd rather you didn't. She's my girl too.

Oh… I so needed to work on giving up control. I instantly knew all decisions weren't mine anymore – they were ours. Whenever Elizabeth was discussed from now on, my opinion only mattered about fifty percent.

Flying first class was definitely something that I could get used to. The seats were more than comfortable, the food was far above average and the service was outstanding. Elizabeth was curled up on the seat next to me, sleeping for a good part of the trip. How did I get so lucky? Normally parents had their kids screaming from take off until landing. Here I was gazing down at her looking so peaceful and angelic, while she was snoring lightly with the pacifier hanging limply from the side of her mouth. I had tried to tame a long curl with no such luck, but I preferred her with her unruly hair. She got that from Edward.

I stared like an imbecile when I was approached by an airline hostess and was escorted to a private lounge at Sea-Tac to wait for our connection flight to Port Angeles. What happened to just walking up to the gate? Oh, right. Edward probably couldn't do that.

Elizabeth walked her slow baby steps as the hostess heels impatiently clicked against the tiled floors. Her face was impassive, but it was pretty clear that she had an agenda to return to. In a private room, I saw Edward again. My heart was frantic and my legs felt like jelly. The hostess left me alone. I gasped when I realized Edward wasn't alone. He sat with his back to me, chatting cheerfully with a curly haired woman. A toddler about the same age as Elizabeth was bouncing up and down in one of the seats. Oh no! What was this?

I made a small noise at the back of my throat, knowing if I spoke, words would betray my aching heart and me. Edward turned around immediately and a huge smile adorned his face. Jumping out of his seat, he crouched down to greet Elizabeth. She was apprehensive at first, clinging to my leg. "Hey, sweetheart," he mused.

"She's a bit groggy. She slept most of the way here," I excused, feeling a little bad when Edward clearly didn't get the warm greeting that he was hoping for from her. My eyes flashed to the woman next to Edward who smiled kindly at me. It was somehow clear that she knew him well. Right now, I was glad that I had googled Rosalie because the woman sitting in the waiting area definitely wasn't her.

"That's okay. We got the weekend." He paused. "Nice to see you again, Bella." Edward said almost too politely. However, his smile was warmer than when he was at my place in New York. That was a good sign. We had talked a lot over the week. That too had to have softened some of the tension between us. Though, I hadn't asked any of the questions that I really wanted to ask. Now, there was this woman here with him. It had really thrown me for a loop. I glanced at her, and tried not to stare. Then, I realized that I'd seen her before. "Bella, this is Tanya. She's a very good friend of mine." When he said the woman's name, it hit me like a sledgehammer. The accusations. She was the woman, who had stood up for him at the press conference. Holy crap! "This little bundle of joy is her daughter Bree." He patted the child's head and she bounced as high as she could on the seat holding the back for support. She looked to be a handful. "Tanya, this is Isabella Swan." He glanced down and carefully threaded his fingers through Elizabeth's wild hair, while she still hung on to my pant leg. "And this is our daughter, Elizabeth," he murmured almost like he was talking to himself.

I was too stunned to even act politely. Tanya took care of that for me and held out her hand. "It's nice to meet you, Bella. Edward has told me a lot about you."

"Uhm… nice to meet you too," I wheezed. I glanced at the shrieking child, Bree, torturing the chair, hammering her feet into the seat. She looked nothing like Edward. Whereas, Elizabeth was the spitting image of her father. I felt a fraction of relief.

Tanya turned to Edward. "It was so nice seeing you again and get a chance to see your girl. She's so lovely, Edward." She leaned in, kissed his cheek and then put a hand on his chest. He leaned down and let her. How close were they? "Come back again soon. Promise me?" I was glad she didn't bat her lashes at him, but instead she just smiled. "I hope to see you again sometime Bella and your beautiful daughter. Have a nice weekend." I couldn't believe it. She was so nice. Tanya hinged an arm around the wild child and playfully hefted her up her hip. "Come here you."

"Give Matt my best," Edward said and ruffled the grinning and combative child's hair. "Make sure your mom's never bored." He laughed. He was so comfortable and at ease with them. It made me jealous.

I still hadn't relocated my ability to speak when they were out the door of the private lounge. Edward glanced at the time. "We should move or we will miss our flight," he said.

Settling on the small plane, Elizabeth was staring silently at Edward reading his face. She looked small sitting there. When I buckled her in, her feet were not even falling over the edge of the seat. With my hands focused on the seat belt, I was finally able to speak. "Who's Matt?" I mumbled.

"Tanya's husband," Edward answered. His wise and penetrating eyes lingering on my face. A frisson of a smile crept across his lips. "Bree's my goddaughter. I landed in Seattle late last night. When I'm here, I always stay at their place. Seattle used to be my home and Tanya's place almost feels like home to me. She's basically my best friend."

"Okay," I breathed in a deep sigh of relief. I fiddled with my own seat belt before we would taxi down the runway. So, there was nothing going on between them. I almost sagged with relief knowing Bree wasn't Edward's offspring as well. We had so much to learn about each other. That much was crystal clear. "Does she know a lot about Elizabeth and me?"

"She knows everything," he answered, while slowly starting a game with Elizabeth. He was toying with her fingers and letting her pat his. It was an easy way to weasel a smile from her.

"Oh." I mouthed surprised. "She seemed very friendly," I added.

"She is," Edward agreed absentmindedly, while smiling at Elizabeth.

The connecting flight was less than an hour and Edward rented a car and car seat for Elizabeth for the drive up to Forks. He was prepared. That was for sure. I was happy that I wasn't making the trip in my dad's cruiser. This was far less humiliating.

I studied Edward's face and some odd bruising on his neck, just at the collar of his shirt. "Did you get into a fight?" I asked and frowned. I didn't really picture him for a fighter.

Edward smiled ironically. "Sort of. The project that I just finished was action packed. I got a little banged up two days ago. Nothing serious." He glanced in the rearview mirror, gazing at Elizabeth. "Is her cold all gone?"

"Almost," I answered and stared down at my knotted fingers. This conversation felt normal. Was I imagining this? Was I delusional? Or was this a glimpse of how we would have a future? Just by being friends and raising our child? It was a start nonetheless.

Edward pulled up in front of my dad's house and Charlie was out of the door in a nanosecond. His face was beaming like a kid on Christmas morning. "Oh, Bells, it is so good to see you."

"You too, dad." We hugged shortly, a little awkwardly, because none of us were never overly affectionately with each other. That wasn't our style. "Dad, this is Edward Cullen. Elizabeth's father." Charlie glared at Edward for a split second and then shook his hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Swan." Edward said flawlessly polite, ignoring my dad's momentarily hard glare.

I unstrapped Elizabeth from her seat and pulled her from the car. Dad was ready to greet her with his hands outstretched. Edward was basically positioned the same way. This was going to be fun. Charlie won and took the baby. Edward almost perfectly withheld his smile and hid his disappointment.

Dad's house was small and sparsely furnished, but functional. I knew he didn't spend much time here. He awkwardly showed Edward around downstairs, before we ascended the stairs for the next level. Charlie peered over his shoulder for a brief moment. "Separate bedrooms," he muttered. I tried to hold back my snicker. I had been married, had a child, and was twenty-six years old yet he still insisted on separate accommodations. It was a little hilarious. I met Edward's humorous eyes and he narrowed his lips to hide his grin. Dad didn't need to state the obvious, but Edward and I never planned on sharing a bedroom anyway. I rolled my eyes.

Inside the kitchen, I scoured for what kind of food that was available, just out of habit. Nothing. That hadn't changed. I checked the time. It wasn't too late to make a quick stop at the store and fill Charlie's cabinets with food. That would secure breakfast, lunch and dinner for the next few days.

I stared at the old rust bucket that Dad had procured for me, just before I moved with Renée to New York. I couldn't believe that he hadn't gotten rid of the truck. Edward was on the porch with Elizabeth on the arm. "You're not taking her out in that thing," he refused immediately, basically telling me what to do. I shook my head.

"I was going to leave her with you and Charlie. I'll be back in an hour." I called over my shoulder and opened the squeaking car door.

"Take the rental," he called after me.

"This is fine, Edward," I refused.

I shopped for everything I could think of, basically stocking up to make sure Charlie would have enough to suffice for a while. He normally ate dinner at a diner, where the food was soaked in grease. He should take better care of his health.

I unpacked, while secretly watching Edward sit on the floor and play with Elizabeth. It all seemed so unreal. He really did devote his time to her, because as he sat there with her, it was like the outside world melted away from him.

Charlie was hovering, trying to help out unpacking groceries. "You really don't need to do this, Bella."

"Sure I do, dad. Do you even know where the store is?" I joked and smiled.

"Okay, you made your point." He paused and looked at me hopefully. "Does that mean you'll cook dinner?"

I laughed. "Sure, dad."

I placed my plate in the sink after dinner. Edward mirrored. "Thank you for dinner. It was very nice. Would you mind if I take her tonight?" he asked. Edward leaned against the counter gazing down at me. His smile had changed during the day and gotten warmer, but it was like he was trying to restrain himself from doing or saying something.

"Uhm… go ahead." I knew he had liked having her on the couch with him the last time that they saw each other. Perhaps, one of the paths to earn his forgiveness was to let him as close with Elizabeth as he wanted and just not meddle whenever they spent time together.

"I'll get her ready for bed," he murmured and took her from my hands. His fingers grazed my arm, and in at least one million ways, I wanted to deny how good it felt to have his skin touch mine. It tingled at the tiny contact. I longed so much for those kind words, hearts, flowers, kisses and hugs that I had imagined would make up our reunion, but there was no way I could expect that now.

I listened to him chatting at Elizabeth and her babbling back as the sound of his footsteps climbed the stairs.

"Bella?" Dad said from behind me. I turned and looked expectantly at Charlie. "He seems oddly cool towards you," Dad stated worried.

"That's because he is mad at me and carries a grudge." Dad's mouth popped open and his eyes narrowed, probably ready to let Edward have it. "It was no more than two weeks ago that he found out about her." I bit my lip coming clean to my dad.

"You never told him about her?" he asked astonished.

"No," I mumbled.

"I thought he chose not to be a part of your lives. So you deliberately kept Elizabeth away from him?" The resentment was hardly concealed in the tone of his voice.

"Please not you too, Dad." I sighed, feeling tears burn my eyes.

"Did you, Bella?"

"Yes," I admitted guiltily.

"Then you can't really blame him for being mad at you, can you?" Oh no, even my dad was siding with Edward. "I hope you know you did a bad thing, Bells."

"I know, Dad. I made a mistake, a big one, but I'm trying to make up for it."

"I am glad you are, sweetheart. And I'm glad you came to see your old man." Charlie got up, left his plate in the sink, thanked me for dinner and retreated to the living room to watch a game, I suspect.

I cleaned the kitchen, while running my dad's words through my mind. Even he saw the full extent of my fault. The sound of the game blared from the living room and the light sound of Charlie snoring on the couch. Outside, I sat on the stairs for a while. My mind hazed with guilt, but I refused to let it consume me. I just needed to play my cards right. Edward wanted to be in Elizabeth's life and so he should be, no matter if we would never be anything other than friends. It tore my heart to come to terms with that and accept it. I listened to the eerie quietness of the surroundings forest and inhaled the damp air. I didn't exactly miss this place, but right now, it was a good place to think and seek solitude away from the world.

Quickly, I did a mental inventory whether I remembered giving Angela all the information that she needed to run the store. Jasper had offered to help Angela out while I was gone, so I could have this chance to show Edward that I would and could make room for him in our lives.

Moving inside, the TV was turned off, but the light in the kitchen was still on. "What are you doing?" I asked when I spotted Edward sitting with his head in his hands. It was strange seeing this beautiful man sitting in my father's chair.

"Reading. Elizabeth is sleeping like a rock, but I can't sleep yet."

I nodded and picked up one of the printed stacks of papers from the table. "Are these manuscripts for movies?" I asked when I sat down beside him. It was a little thrilling getting a peak into his world.

"Yep. They are for projects that I am considering."

"Why only considering?" I wondered out loud.

"I was thinking about not doing anything at all for a while," He said quietly and evaluated me. His green intelligent eyes were reading me. "I was thinking about spending some time in New York. Possibly spending my days with Elizabeth, while you work. It has to be better for you, so you don't have to work out the puzzle everyday for who is going to take her for the day."

"You would do that? I mean, don't you have to make a living?" I asked astonished at the depth of his devotion to his daughter. He was willing to sacrifice that much.

He smiled almost smugly. "No, I don't really have to work at all. Not for the rest of my life. I barely have any expenses. I hardly own anything. I hold a job that makes me rather a lot of money, plus I inherited from my parents' and my sister's estate and I sold their house. Money isn't really an issue for me."

"Lucky you," I sighed, but Edward just shrugged. "Can I ask you something?" I continued deciding now was the time to air some of the questions that were nagging me.

"Sure."

"How did your girlfriend take the news about Elizabeth?"

He paled a little. "She's a bit temperamental, but all in all, it wasn't that bad." He paused. "Rosalie isn't my girlfriend anymore though. We broke up." He answered evenly and turned a page.

"Why?" I mouthed, as hope spread though my veins like a brushfire. I was such a lovesick puppy.

"Well, mainly because I am not sure how I feel about her and I think she was more in love with the idea of us, than in love with me as a person. So we or I decided to call it quits."

"I see."

"How does that make you feel?" he asked gently.

I bit my lip, or rather gnawed nervously on it. My heart was anxiously pumping in my chest. "Would I be a bitch if I admitted that I'm not exactly sad about it?"

Edward laughed his melodic and warm laugh. "I guess not. Your letter didn't exactly mask how you feel about me." I flushed violently and I averted my eyes from him. My heart raced even harder. This was just so humiliating. "Besides that, how about you and love? Has there been anyone you were interested in?" he prodded, seeking information. Though, the same fierceness leaked into his tone, as when he questioned me about Jasper.

I shook my head. "No."

"No one at all? Not even… Emmett?" he asked quietly, like he was testing the grounds.

"Emmett's just a friend. He's a really good friend, but I hardly think that I am blond enough for his tastes." The image of Rosalie Hale suddenly popped into my mind, for some reason.

"I'm liking him more and more now." I thought I heard him say before he returned to the script. I smiled secretly.

"Can I have a look at one of these?"

"If you want?"

"Any favorites so far?" I asked.

"Not really. Why do you try to read some of them and tell me which one you like?" He glanced sideways at me and absentmindedly handed me a script from the top of the pile. It looked like there was three or four. I fixed us some coffee, sat down beside him again and started reading. I quickly lost interest with the first one, so I reached for the next one.

"No good?" Edward asked when I realized he was watching me. I shook my head and frowned. "You read fast," he complimented.

"I own a book store. I read for a living. At least, there is something I know how to do right." I mouthed scathingly.

"I'm sure that there are more things you do right," Edward said and stood up. He reached for the coffee and refreshed our drinks.

The second script was far better than the first one. I was completely absorbed in the characters, the plotting and the depth of the setting. This was good, painful, but outstanding. Though the story was stealing my attention, I wasn't unaware that this felt like it did when we first met. This was the easy way that I remembered being with him. The silence wasn't awkward or tensed now. It was just… effortless.

"We should go to bed." Edward broke through to my attention and pulled me back to the real world or more precisely my father's rustic kitchen. "There is a whole day tomorrow and it's getting late." I stared flabbergasted at the clock on the wall. It was past two am. I had been reading for roughly four hours on end. I stretched my back and handed the script back to Edward.

"Night, Bella, he said quietly outside my old room. I was on the sofa bed in the small den. When he wanted to have Elizabeth for the night, they should have the best bed. It was just strange imagining him curled up on the mattress, where I spent some of my formative years.

"Night, Edward," I whispered, feeling lighter inside than I had for days.

I woke with the rain sloshing hard against the window. That was something that I didn't miss - the dampness and the endless rain. Even with the downpour, I knew I had slept in. I trotted downstairs in my pajamas. The kitchen was empty and so was the small living room. I glanced out the window and the rental car was gone. Charlie, Edward and Elizabeth were off somewhere. I wasn't sure that I was comfortable with that concept. I just had to learn to trust people.

I cleaned the house for something to do. I scrubbed the kitchen floor, because it wasn't exactly something Charlie would care to do. I rearranged the groceries purchased yesterday and cleaned all the cabinets.

Upstairs in my old bedroom, I gathered Elizabeth's clothes from yesterday and toys scattered over the floor. Slung over his simple bag, I picked up the blue t-shirt Edward had worn yesterday and held it to my nose. It smelled heavenly, just like him. I thought I remembered the scent of his body wash. As I stumbled across Edward's journal casually tossed on the bed, I knew that I really needed to control my curiosity and not sneak a peek inside. I was horribly nosy, but I couldn't invade his privacy like that. Staring at the leather binding, I knew it was the same one from when we first met. Just now, it was far more tattered than when I'd last I'd seen it. Instead of violating his privacy, I reached for another one of the scripts, lay down on my old bed and started reading.

This story wasn't as gripping as the one I read the night before, but it was still good.

"So you're going through my stuff now?" Edward suddenly asked from the door. I stumbled off the bed with my heart racing so hard that I was feeling dizzy.

"I wasn't. I swear…" I croaked.

"It's okay, Bella," he flashed an easy going smile and set Elizabeth down beside me. The tension between us was hardly noticeable between us today. It was gone just like last night. "I think she needs a nap."

I looked at my girl. Her eyes were droopy and she was starting to whine. I nuzzled her cheek and kissed her hair. "Has she had lunch?"

"Yup. Charlie took us to the diner." Edward paused. "Do you want to take a walk with me while she sleeps? The weather's cleared up."

I all but gaped at him. This was easier than I ever imagined. He was giving me a pass and really letting us rekindle. It was so unexpected. "A walk sounds nice," I answered gratefully. I had been cooped up inside all day, so some fresh air sounded good.

I changed Elizabeth's diaper and got her ready for her nap. It didn't take her long to fall asleep when she had her pacifier and one in each hand to snuggle with.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" I muttered quite confused, as we started a slow walk up the road.

"Would it do me any good to hold a grudge? I just think it's better if we get along instead of fighting. We are kind of stuck with each other now that we have Elizabeth. So it's about making the best out of what we have."

"I can't tell you how grateful that I am to have this chance to get to know you again," I answered quietly.

"That is what this is about, isn't it? Getting to know each other again," Edward said.

"That's one way of looking at it. So what did you do with Charlie all morning?"

"He showed me the police station, took me around town and to some of the fishing sites that he likes."

"So he was nice to you?" I glanced up at him, where a slow secret smile rested on his lips. It all but melted my heart, seeing him smile was something I never wanted to take for granted. The beauty of the way his face lit up was immeasurable.

"Yeah. We talked about you a lot," Edward offered.

I cringed and bit my lip. "That can't have been good."

"My lips are sealed." He smiled smugly. I had to peel my eyes from that smile. "Anyway, how did you go with the scripts?" He asked. We were passing by Main Street, where it was quiet as expected on a Saturday afternoon.

"Oh… I really didn't mean to pry into your stuff." I paused. "I liked the one that I read last night. It was really good, but also kind of painful."

"That it is," Edward agreed.

"Which one did you like?"

"I like the same, but I am not sure if I want to do it."

"So the part is yours, if you want it?" He nodded. "But why wouldn't you want to do the movie then? I think you would be great at it."

"Well, mainly for two reasons. One, that part will take a lot from me personally. I really need to dig deeply into a lot of pain that I've put behind me. The second reason is what I told you about last night. Accepting that part would take me away from Elizabeth for extended periods of time. Right now, I am not sure that is what I want to do. However, Bella, you haven't answered that question."

"What question?" I asked confused.

"About me coming to New York and taking Elizabeth during the day?"

I stared at him flabbergasted. "So you were really serious about that? Edward, if that is what you want, I am not going to be a roadblock. Like I said in my letter, she is as much your daughter as she is mine. If you want to stay at home with her, that is what you should do. It's up to you."

"Okay. I will let you know later what I decide to do."

"Edward, what will happen when the press finds out about Elizabeth? I don't want her in the middle of some mayhem or media frenzy."

"Trust me. Neither do I. Jenks is ready when that happens. He takes care of most of the public stuff for me. I won't let anything bad happen to her when it comes to my life and all that it entails. I swear."

"Thank you," I said appreciatively. I really needed to know that no one unintended was getting near her.

It was silent for a little while, until I started explaining all the small things that I remembered about growing up here. He listened attentively, looked around and asked questions as we kept a slow stroll across town. It felt good to tell him about how much I hated the rain and the evergreen forest life surrounding the town or old high school dramas or how I never really had crushes on boys. He stopped my tirade suddenly. "I was wondering, how about Jacob? Do you still think about him?" He gazed down at me with worry embedded deeply in his emerald eyes. The softer and kinder that he became with me, the harder it got to refuse my blossoming feelings for him. Everything inside me was wide awake and loving every facet of Edward.

"I do. I think about him almost every day, but it isn't devastating anymore. I hardly notice when I do it and it doesn't control my life that I lost him. You helped me accept that he is gone and that it's okay to move on. Besides, I kind of had to go on when I figured out I was pregnant. So I learned to live with it."

"I am glad to hear that. Good for you, Bella." Edward finished. I looked up and dark rain filled clouds that were gathering above our heads. We turned back towards home again, though we had mainly been going around in a circle.

"How did you find me?" The question had been bothering me, basically since he stepped into my bookstore about two weeks ago.

"Are you sure you want to know?" he grinned.

"Just tell me." I rolled my eyes. Heavy drops of water started to fall, landing icily on my face.

"I am not a hundred percent sure, but I am guessing it was Alice?" He gazed down at me, matching my slow place.

"Alice?" I breathed astonished. What the hell had she come up with now? I all but stopped dead in my tracks.

Edward nodded quietly. "She was in L.A. a few weeks ago. She sold a dress to Rose. I saw her once in our hotel room. However, she never told me about you, herself." He stopped talking for a moment, but a pensive look crawled across his face. "The next day, a picture of you and your name was left for me at the lobby. So it was hardly an accident that the woman, who sold my girlfriend a dress, was also roommates with the woman that I looked for, for a long time… and turned out to be the mother of my daughter. See my point?" Edward smiled smugly.

"Yeah, only Alice would have the nerve to do that," I muttered, knowing with almost certainty that Alice was behind this. I wiped my face, trying to rid my skin of the cold rain.

"Don't be mad at her." He gently placed his hand over mine and gave it a light squeeze. Our eyes met and it was like staring into the caring and loving eyes of the Edward that had pulled me from my shell on a beach in Thailand. This was the man that I was in love with. This was the man that I longed for since the day I stupidly ran from him. Oh, Edward. "I'm glad that she meddled," he said softly.

The effortlessness between us soaked the air surrounding us along with the heavy rain. Edward didn't take his eyes from me and I just let myself get lost in the tenderness in his gaze. He was the man that saw right through me. I couldn't hold it back and I was flooded with instant remorse. I couldn't bear it any longer. I hurled my body against his and threw my arms around his neck. "Please forgive me, Edward. I hate what I've done to you. I hope you can let me into your life." I snorted against his chest brokenly. It was pathetic, but I needed him. It was like the sky opened up and rain fell heavy and dense all around us. Just like my tears. "You are such a wonderful father and I love you." I croaked without considering what the hell was coming out of my mouth.

Edward arms around me felt like a cushion against all hardship in the world and a shelter from the sloshing drops. This was where I wanted to be, no matter if I deserved to be or not. Like he had done before, he let me cry for a while. I could feel him lay his cheek against the top of my head. "Oh, Bella," he breathed thickly, but didn't say anything else. We just stood for a long time in the cold rain getting drenched to the skin. I didn't want to move. I couldn't let him go.

oooooOOOOooooo

My goodbye with Charlie was a little heartbreaking. I didn't see him often and I knew I needed to make it a priority for us to visit him more. I didn't think he was lonely, but I didn't want him to miss out on Elizabeth growing up.

"Thanks for having us, Dad," I said quietly, standing on the porch in shelter of the slow drizzle.

"It was good seeing you, Bells. You look healthy." He turned to Edward. "Don't be a stranger," Charlie said quietly, somewhat uncomfortable. Gushing emotions was just something that my dad never did. However, his brown eyes betrayed him. He really was sad to see us leave. Charlie had been more forthcoming towards Edward than I had ever dreamed. Dad was open and chatty, while showing him his fishing gear. I pretended to listen, but Charlie hardly engaged me in those conversations. He knew very well that I basically had no interest and it was like studying Russian without a dictionary for me. I just didn't get it, but Edward listened attentively.

"I wasn't planning on it, Mr. Swan." Edward answered and shook Charlie's hand.

"Charlie," he amended and looked down, flushing just slightly. I hugged Charlie with Elizabeth on my arm and he kissed her cheek. "Perhaps, Grandpa could come see you this summer."

"We would love that, Dad." I was truly overcome with sadness that we didn't live closer, but the fact was his life was here and mine was in New York. We would just have to find a way to make the best of it and see each other more.

"Thank you for this weekend. It was a good idea to come here," Edward said quietly. The lump in my throat was blocking my ability to speak and Elizabeth was heavy on my hip. We were back at Sea-Tac. He was bound for L.A. and I was on a flight to New York. The ride in the car and the connection flight to Seattle had been quiet. After yesterday's declaration in the rain filled street of Forks, the time had passed too fast. Every hour that I spent with Edward and Elizabeth only felt like a minute and it was much too short. I wanted these surprisingly blissful and quiet days to continue, but I knew it couldn't last. The real world was calling again and reclaiming us.

He bent down and kissed Elizabeth's cheek. "Bye, my sweet girl," he whispered. "Daddy will see you soon. Be good to your mommy." Elizabeth reached for him, grabbing onto his sweatshirt and started to cry. He took her from me and hugged her for a long moment. He shushed her while stroking her hair, before he sadly returned her to me. It was incredible how she had taken to him in such a short while. He turned his beautiful green eyes to me, locking them with mine. "Bye, Bella," he murmured.

"Bye, Edward." My voice was nothing, but shallow breath. It's amazing how much these goodbyes hurt. Never again did I want to say goodbye to him not knowing where we stand. Besides, I was hardly unaware of the fact that I had no promises from him, yet selfishly I wanted to have a claim on him.

He didn't move. He just kept contact between our eyes. This was nothing like the last sendoff where he had been so mad. It was like all his anger had evaporated. Slowly, he bent towards me, grasped my chin with his thumb and forefinger and carefully brushed his lips against mine. I closed my eyes savoring the heavenly scent of his skin. He smelled exactly like I remembered. Our lips lingered connected for a too short moment when he kissed me very gently on the mouth.

oooooOOOOooooo

I hope you enjoyed this chapter and stay tuned for the next one. I hope you will leave me a thought or two on how things are developing.

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