Well. Somehow I managed to crank out this super long chapter in time for an update. *faceplant* At any rate... I hope y'all enjoy... I have this bad feeling that a lot of people have given up on these updates...

Chapter 21

I was standing in front of a door.

For a moment I blinked and just stood there stupidly before realizing that I had a stack of papers and folders in my hands, and that I was dressed differently than I had been before. I frowned, then looked down at the stack in my hands and began flipping through them. They were all folders and documents belonging to the CIA; and they all pertained to the Elf Café and the elves. All of us were there, our fake backgrounds and everything, all legal papers.

I raised an eyebrow but said nothing, then adjusted the glasses that were mysteriously on the bridge of my nose before opening the door and stepping inside, making sure to close it beside me. To my slight surprise, when I turned back around, it was to see Christopher Lakes sitting at a large desk.

He glanced up for a moment. "Ah, thank you Miss Kim. If you would just set them on my desk," he gestured vaguely, and I merely nodded wordlessly and set them down on the edge of his desk.

"Is there anything else you need, Mr. Lakes?" a voice that was mine but not mine asked.

"Just sit there for a moment please," he pointed towards a chair, and I sat. A moment later, someone came in the door again, and I was hard-pressed not to start violently.

"You called, Chris?"

Christopher looked up from his typing and leaned back. "I did. Please sit."

The new man that had entered sat down in front of the desk, barely glancing my way.

"Washington sent me to Alaska recently to check out a small case of mild suspicion. It wasn't major enough to send out an active field agent, so I just dipped my toes in and did a little digging," Christopher began. "What I found seemed to be harmless, just an interesting coincidence. Every story checked out, and there was no suspicious activity," here he paused for a moment, then looked to me.

"Miss Kim, please give me the file on Mr. Jasper's last field report," he ordered, and I stood and walked over to a cabinet, automatically knowing which drawer to pull and handing the right file to him. I sat back down at his wordless command and listened with interest.

"In your last mission report, Alex, you know we found it to be dubious," he looked keenly at Alex, who merely nodded, though his fingers twitched violently under the desk. "We expected hallucination, drug-induced or otherwise, poison, or some other form of adrenaline-based inconsistency in your story, but when we did the blood tests there were none. I personally don't know what Washington thinks about you, but what I do know is that you're the best field agent I have under my command and I'm unwilling to take you out for a little incident," Christopher's voice went hard. Alex merely sat there and listened, face impassive.

"I think you've been playing the game well enough for me to give you the benefit of doubt, so while Washington has me put you out of official duty until they sort out those hare-brains of theirs, I'm going to throw you a bone," he said, and tossed Alex the files I had brought in a moment ago. My heart leaped into my throat.

Alex grabbed the files to keep them from falling but didn't look in them, just staring at the director. "What's in it for you?" he asked bluntly, and Chris sat back raising an eyebrow.

"I've got business to do. I've sent a report to Washington already about this issue being a dead end; but I have a feeling this isn't what it seems to be, and if those idiots at the capital are going to make a big fussing issue about this thing, then by George I'm going to do this my own way to get down to the bottom of this issue," and he pointed a finger at the files. "You're the best agent I have, and you're the only one available."

Alex shook his head. "I can draw obvious conclusions, director. What I can't do is read your mind. Why do you want to look into a case that checks out?"

Christopher's lips thinned. "Miss Kim will debrief you on the mission, and when she does, maybe then you'll figure it out for yourself. It doesn't take a genius, and you might as well be one," and with that, he turned back to his typing.

I stood at the silent cue and made my way to the door, while Alex stood slowly and made his way towards me. "If you will follow me, Mr. Jasper," I said curtly, then headed out, heels clicking on the floors while my head spun. This was something I hadn't expected. It looked like my prayers were answered. Eru had heard, and he had shown me that he was working behind the scenes long before I even knew what was going on.

Alex and I made it into a smaller, more private office that was out of the way from the other more bust parts of the area, and I walked in and closed the door behind him. "Please sit."

I quickly debriefed him on the mission, then pointed to the files. He went through them calmly, and when he saw the last picture that was of me, I had to admire his self-control. The only sign he showed of being visibly disturbed was a quick flash of the eyes, a minuscule tightening of the lips and fingers, and a quiet intake of breath. If I hadn't been watching for it, I never would have noticed.

"Your mission is to sign up for this school and work from there to smoke out any suspicious activity within the group," I droned on before standing. "You are free to leave at any time."

He stood and walked towards the door again calmly. "Thank you," he answered tersely, then left. I stood there by a cabinet for a moment, closing my eyes and leaning against the cool metal.

"Thank you, Eru," I whispered. You've answered my prayers. I know what to do now.

Dance, child.

....

"Míleth? Wake up, onónë!" a voice whined, and I was startled awake, hands clamping around someone. I looked down to see that Mairon was pouting at me. "Onónë!" he complained. "You missed dinner and then you slept here all night!"

I sighed and shook my head, standing and working the kinks out of my neck and back. "Sorry little brother," I replied softly. "I had a lot of thinking to do."

He gave me a thoughtful look for a moment as I held him, and then nodded. "You look better than yesterday," he informed me, then squirmed. "Come on onónë, I'm hungry!" he exclaimed, and I chuckled softly as I headed out.

"Yes Mairon, little tyrant," I teased back as he wailed over my unfairness. When I came into the large dining room, everyone turned to look at me. I nodded calmly and set Mairon in his chair.

"Are you alright?" my mother spoke up quietly, and I straightened. For a split second, as I looked at them, I could tell that my form flickered between human and Maia, and saw a few wince.

"I had some business to take care of," I replied slowly but mildly. "And many things to think of. In fact, I would like everyone to gather in the living room after breakfast, if you would. There are some things you should know - and yes, all of you," I said, nodding to the younger ones of the family. Lir and Elíl gave me searching looks, but I knew that they had faintly guessed what was going on.

Everyone murmured an agreement before we started eating, the atmosphere lighting a bit in the light of a new day. When breakfast was finished and everyone had gathered in the living room, I entered calmly and took a spot next to the fireplace. Silence fell, and everyone looked to me expectantly, though a serious pall had settled over the room, as though they knew that what I was about to say would affect them all irrevocably.

"You all know already that Elíl and Lir and I have our own little missions here that pertain to the preparations for the Dagor Dagorath," I said, and they nodded. "That task was to find and personally watch over certain people around the globe who have a firm link to important people from the past. They are, in fact, throwbacks of their ancestors. In this crucial time nearing the last battle, the bloodlines of important men from different ages and times have thickened considerably until we have enough to form throwbacks. A throwback is one who is most similar in thought patterns to their ancestor yet still being their own person. They are also able to tap into genetic memories of their ancestors, though such things are normally passed off as wild dreams," I added, and nodded to Lir.

"I found my throwback first," she said quietly, drawing attention. Fascination had spread across the room thickly. "Ben Cedric. If you break down his name, it means Right-handed chief. He is a throwback of Aragorn, who was chief of the Dunedaín and descendant of Beren Erchamon, Left-hand," she explained, rubbing her stomach absently as Maglor held her hand. There were a few small stirs from those who had known Aragorn personally. "Now that I'm pregnant, I have to watch over him and my children as well," then she nodded to Elíl.

"I found my ward next," she said easily. "Zach McScott. His name broken down means son of the wanderer remembered by Eru. He is a throwback of Wídfara, a proficient warrior of Rohan and proclaimed Gwador of Aragorn during his time as Thorongil," she finished, and was met by less recognition but understanding nonetheless, though the Peredhil twins were surprised. Then she looked back towards me.

"I found my ward last," I said, and a thin smile stretched across my face. "And I suppose it serves me right for being so irreverent at times, but at any rate - my ward is Alex Jasper. He doesn't live here, though. His name means Defender of man and treasurer," I raised eyebrows at them, and a moment later Glorfindel spoke up.

"Faramir," he said softly, and I nodded calmly.

"Yes. He is a throwback of Faramir. Unfortunately, he is also a sp- excuse me, intelligence agent," I drawled, and there were mingled gasps and quiet titters of laughter. I sobered, then ran a hand through my hair. "The enemy has begun his assault a lot sooner than I had expected," I said miserably. "I was trained for physical war, not the political arena; and now, Alex is hot on my trail. I met him once, in a very dubious situation, and ever since then he has been trying to trace me with everything he could possibly get his hands on. You could, in fact, say that he is now obsessed with trying to figure out who I am," then I gave them all long and hard looks.

"I need all of you to realize that you need to be more careful now than ever," I said sternly. "The Christopher Lakes that my dad befriended is not just an innocent businessman. He was a high-ranking CIA agent sent to check us out. Our unusual circumstances raised suspicions, and though he has decided that our stories checked out 'officially' -" I crooked my fingers in the air - "he's sent one of his best field agents to check us out undercover," and I pursed my lips, eyes hard.

"I need you guys to help me out," I stressed. "All of you. I know you can handle yourselves; that's not my problem. I trust you guys implicitly. The thing is, the field agent that's been sent is the one who is now obsessed with me - yes, Alex. Even as we speak, he's probably coming to register into the school," I glanced at the twins as everyone broke into loud questions and chatter.

"A pústa!" Elíl yelled, and everyone settled, though reluctantly.

"One question at a time, and let me finish first," I said, raising a hand. "He's a good candidate for the upcoming war. And while I'm not going to tell you everything, since that's between he and I only, he's leaning heavily towards our side. He knows that I'm the one he needs to find to get the answers he's looking for, and this is all carefully orchestrated by Eru behind the scenes, but his coming here will start things that we cannot stop. This is becoming a political dance." I told them, and saw that I had their full attention, a dead silence in the room.

"Do you understand?" I pleaded. "We must work together. I need your help to tip the balance towards our side with him, and if we can, then we will have gained an invaluable ally in the coming war. Alex has already begun to join our side, but it's still up to him to take the plunge; and don't forget, he's a trained agent. On one side of us, there is the American government just waiting to get their hands on us - I don't think I need to tell you what they'll do if they find out what we are. On the other side, if we bail out to escape their clutches, we've got ruin for Eru's cause looming. This is a dance, and there is no way around it. I need you guys to work with me. I need you to stay alert, and realize that we're not on vacation anymore. We're here for work, guys, and that's work has just started," I finished, and silently motioned for questions.

After a thick silence, Amroth spoke up. "I think we all understand the gravity of what you have told us. This isn't just about one person: we're all at stake here. What I want to ask is what we need to do," he said with a troubled air, while Nimrodel sat at his side.

Elíl spoke up to answer. "Train. Physically, train yourselves. You were once puissant warriors, and you still are. Train yourselves again, because despite the safety of our world, we're entering the shady realm of the FBI and MI5 and all the rest. We need to be ready for physical as well as verbal battles. Also, remain alert at all times, and be careful of what you say and how you act. Anyone could be a spy," she said gravely.

"What about you?" it was Nadie who beat my mother to the question. "You seem very troubled, Míleth dear, and I think that's bothering all of us."

I actually took a step back, feeling her words almost literally drive me back a step as color drained from my face. When I looked at their faces, I saw their concern. They had come to depend on me so much here on earth as far as our mission, that now that I was faced with a problem they didn't know what to do. I bit my lip harshly, gritting my teeth.

"I'm sorry," my voice was small. "I - I don't think you all understand," and tears welled in my eyes as my voice grew thick. "I see now that I've made a mistake. You think I have all the answers," and I swallowed. "I'm - I'm just a servant, guys. I'm not the one in charge here; I get orders from higher up. There are a lot of things that I have no idea are happening, things that could directly affect us later. I'm a Maia, yes, but I'm not all-knowing. In fact, in many ways I'm just as in the dark as you all are. I've got my orders and I fulfill them; that's it."

Everyone looked either ashamed or on the brink of tears. "You - you've put a dependence on me that I didn't realize I was carrying, and-" my voice cracked. "Guys- I'm sorry, but I don't have the answers. I was late last night and this morning because I had to struggle with my own doubts. How do I tell you guys all of this? Would you hate me for not telling you sooner? Would you trust me? Would you believe me? How do I handle this? I'm not competent! What do I do?" I tried to make them understand. "I had to once again place everything in Eru's hands and admit that I can't do this on my own. I'm just a servant, and I'm helpless here; my hands are tied," I flapped said hands weakly.

"I've had to balance managing family affairs, this whole throwback business, my duties at the café and school, and a seeming hundred other things, then I realize too late that you guys are trusting me for all this and I didn't realize it-" by this time I had almost begun to panic when Glorfindel came up and held me tightly. I began to weep silently into his shirt, unable to cope. For a moment, there was a stone silence.

"We're sorry, Celine," it was Maedhros who spoke up. "I think we did so without really realizing what we were doing. We just expected you to have everything under control, and we forgot that you are also just a servant and have your own limits," he said slowly.

"I think we all need to take this as a rain check and shoulder a little more of our own duties," Celegorm spoke up grimly. "We'll start taking care of the household affairs and smaller things, and start pitching in a little more in the café."

By now, I had dried my tears and everyone was working themselves up into a fever. "The café provides a lot, so I think we'll drop out of the daycare and start working more at home," Aunt Carrie was saying.

"Are you alright, melda?" Glorfindel murmured softly in my ear. I gave him a faint but grateful smile, and leaned against him without a word. He kissed my ear gently in reply. "We are here for you," he whispered back.

"Thank you, everyone," my voice cut through the busy babble. "I'm sorry to let you down."

"Don't talk like that," Caranthir snapped. "It's our fault you're in this mess anyway; let us fix it like we should have," he replied. "It's time we get ourselves serious about this entire affair."

There were murmurs of agreement, and I inclined my head in his direction. Lir took control in her gentle but firm way. "Okay, I think we all know what we need to do," she said, standing up carefully. "We'll sort out things today, and buckle down for duty," she said, then raised a finger. "But let's not be hasty - Elíl don't you dare say what you're about to say - and take this extremely slow. For all of us to suddenly change would be suspicious in more than one way. Elíl?"

Elíl stuck out her tongue at Lir before striding forwards as everyone paid close attention. "Amroth and I will continue in the real-estate business. There's no reason to close it, and we might need it later anyway. Nimrodel can also join us. As for quitting the daycare, that's up to you to decide, mom, Aunt Joy, Naneth," she nodded at them as they returned it. "Uncle Jonathan, I think I'm going to integrate Zach a little more firmly into our family by giving you the opportunity this Saturday at the party to invite him to work for you in the shop," she said, and his eyes lit up as he nodded.

"Uncle David, your shop won't be necessary to close if you don't want to. It's a good business and is in great demand here. Frankly, it'd be unwise to shut it down. We'll get more of us elves to work at the Café, including Pityo and Telvo now, and leave Míleth a little more free to do her business of juggling legalities and delicate situations. Personally I think she should only drop in from time to time when it's necessary and let someone else formally take her shift," she nodded at me as I thanked her with a small grin. "She's got the main burden here as a Maia of Námo anyway," she shrugged. "Ivrinel should stay in the library, and I personally think Maedhros should join her for a few days a week or when he's not on his shift. Since he's the oldest, I think it would be good if he could get his hands on the resources in that gold mine and see if there's anything in there that would help us. The history of this place - anything he can find. The Peredhil twins will obviously continue with the school, and Míleth can finish her course early to move on to teacher," she finished with a curt nod. "As for duties around the house, leave Míleth out and we'll sort it between ourselves."

"Thank you, everyone. I'm sure we can do this together," I said with a nod, and they nodded back determinedly before scattering to do their duties and get to work. I kissed Glorfindel quickly before moving to do my own things.

Lir snagged me for a moment, and dragged me to the nursery. "Are you sure that we'll be alright here, as we are?" she asked gently, and I nodded.

"We'll be fine, Lir," I answered, smiling at her. "Our numbers will grow surely but steadily, and we'll be fine."

She just hugged me before we also parted to go our own ways. It was my turn to grab Elíl and drag her into a corner as well. "Oh, you are a devious little matchmaker," I smirked at her, and she giggled back.

"Well... I won't deny it..." she grinned, and I rolled my eyes as we headed off.

*Míleth, yeldë, come to us.* Námo's voice said, and I stiffened before nodding hurriedly.

*Yes Master, of course.* and with an effort, I thought myself to the Mahanaxár.

When I arrived, the last thing I expected was to see all of the Valar there, even Ulmo. Paling despite myself, I bowed and licked my lips, feeling white-hot panic flash through my chest. "Masters," I croaked, and noticed that Irmo shook his head and stood, looking to Manwë.

"I told you she wouldn't take this well," he frowned, and Manwë smiled apologetically.

"Be at peace, Míleth. You are not in disgrace," he said, and it was then that I realized that I was crying in nervousness. With a surprised look, I reached up uncertainly to feel the warm tears that had spilled down my cheeks.

"P-please uncle Irmo," I faltered. "I-I need help," I said weakly, and was almost immediately enfolded into his arms, shaking violently.

"Hush, child," he murmured softly. "We have been keeping careful watch on you three, and have been expecting a breakdown," he informed, and I nodded jerkily.

"I-I kinda was t-too," I choked a laugh, and he chuckled.

"We had expected Lir to have complications most, but you took us by surprise, dear," he said, gently smoothing my hair.

"Your transition from Human to Maia didn't go exactly as we expected," it was Estë that came forwards this time. "You stabilized halfway between the two. You have fully Maia and fully human characteristics, with both sides' full pros and cons," she went on gravely but not unkindly. "Lir and Elíl are the same, of course, but you seemed to be doing better than they were for a while."

"I suspect that the residues are catching up to you now; it hasn't helped that you've been shouldering many burdens," Irmo frowned. "You've also been lending strength to Lir. That, we hadn't quite foreseen, neither had we expected you to do so much. You've been surprisingly and pleasantly capable and unpredictable, child."

I found that my lips were trembling so badly I could barely speak. "W-with all d-due resp-spect, my l-lords, I thought y-you'd see how I work and k-kno-ow that I d-don't give less than a-all I h-have for something I b-believe in-in."

Manwë sighed and stood, coming over and taking me from Irmo, setting me in his lap as he sat back down in his chair. "That is true, child, but we were banking on your reactions as a Maia, not as human. You are entirely new and fascinating to us," he explained gently. It was almost worrying me at how badly I was shaking, unable to stop.

"You are passionate beyond measure, Celine, and as a result you have been able to do things within yourself no human or Maia can because you are both," Varda's voice was gentle and soothing, but it made me began to cry again, this time partially out of vexation and partially in sorrow and fear.

"I'm so terribly confused, and I know it's not your fault and I have made my own choice-" I hiccuped slightly - "but sometimes I feel like I'm being tugged in a billion different directions, and if I didn't firmly believe in what I'm doing, I would just ask to live at Atto's feet and be content to do nothing but love and serve him for the rest of my days!" I cried out in an overflow of emotion, and heard a dead silence fall upon the Ring of Doom. For a moment, I tried my physical best to tamp down my uncontrollable sobs, biting my lip so hard that I broke the skin.

"And why, my child, would you ask for that above all other things?" Ulmo's voice was like the sea at night, gentle eddies washing against the empty shore.

I made an effort to speak rationally, but it was like I lost control of my own mouth. For a second, I almost thought I could feel Someone touching my mouth and breathing in my ear. Tell them, child. Through you, I will teach my children a lesson that is long due. Instinctively knowing Who it was, I immediately obeyed.

"Because he has no one else!" I blurted. "Ammë told me that none of his Maiar think of him as anything but their respected master and that bothers me so much because I could never be able to describe what he is to me because he's so very much more-" it was like I was pouring out my soul without my own volition, under the influence of puppet strings that played me as I willingly submitted.

"I don't understand! How is he the one that is so overlooked!? I know you all respect him but is that really all you think of him as? I look at him as my Atto and I see that he's so much more than just a judge of the dead!" By now I had staggered to my feet and was teetering on the floors, half-horrified at my own stream of words. It was embarrassing. I was telling them the depths of my love for Atto, not knowing if he would even be accepting of such sentiments.

"He's so wise and kind, and I feel so guilty that I can't love him enough because he needs it so much! No one else thinks of him as a father, and no one else seems to realize that he's so utterly full of cracks even if I don't know why, and no one cares half enough to see him for who he is except for Ammë!" I clapped a hand over my mouth, and vaguely realized that Nàmo was staring at me, something akin to tears in his eyes.

"I love him heart and soul because he is my Atto. Is this not enough!?" and I think everyone could tell that I had no idea who I was asking. Perhaps myself.

With a gasp, the puppet strings loosened, and I staggered backwards, catching myself against a pillar, cheeks flushed and horror written all over my face. There was a shocked silence.

"I- I'm so sorry, I-"

"Námo?" I was temporarily forgotten as Manwë's voice questioned Námo. I hung my head, tasting blood from my split lip in my mouth as I awaited with trepidation what Námo would say.

"Yeldë?" I flinched as Atto's voice addressed me, a strangely husky quality in his voice. I opened my mouth and shut it, wincing visibly as blood splattered on the floor from my heavily leaking lip.

A finger tilted my head up, and my blurred eyes saw Námo in front of me. "My dear one," he whispered, and this time, I realized that he was crying.

I stared up at him, mouth popped open as my eyes widened, forgetting our audience. "You - you're crying?" red liquid landed on his robe as I made a futile attempt to lick it away. "I - I've embarrassed you..."

Instead of whatever I'd expected, I was held tightly to his robe. "No, Míleth, no," Námo breathed, and I clutched his robe in confusion, still looking dazedly into his face as his tears fell on my upturned countenance. "Precious one..." and Námo suddenly laughed, a mingled joyous and bitter sound. "Truly, I am tempted as never before to keep you secreted away from the world, to have for myself alone!"

I ignored the rusty taste pooling on my tongue and blinked. "I -I don't understand, Atto... I'm afraid," I stammered, and he bent to kiss my cheek tenderly.

"Do not be afraid, my daughter," he replied, smoothing away my tears. "You have given me a gift beyond measuring worth. You are right, and you have done what I thought no one could; you have seen me as no one but Vairë has been able to, and has dared to express it to me," he replied, and swept a thumb over my lower lip. I felt my lip heal as he wiped away the blood lingering on my chin.

"You - you don't mind that I - I said... all that?" I looked up at him wonderingly.

"No one else has before," he answered, and a new look crept into his gaze, one I'd never seen before. "Indeed Míleth, I think you will go far before I will be able to claim the gift Atar has seen fit to grant me," he said, half to himself.

Half faint with an overload of emotions, Námo caught me as I buckled, and through dim eyes I saw that the Valar were looking at the scene with mingled expressions. Vairë's face was soft and her eyes luminescent with happy tears. Many of the Valar looked stricken or humbled, and Manwë had a beatific look on his face as he stretched out his arms.

"Younger brother," his breezy voice declared with solemn joy, "I think we've been reminded of something we had forgotten." His golden-ringed blue eyes landed on me gently. "And I think that Atar might have heard and answered some prayers we were not aware of."

Námo inclined his head. "I have been gifted," was his quiet, suddenly uncomfortable answer. That was the last before I lost consciousness, exhausted by the drain.

...

"Míleth?"

"Sister?"

"Naneth!"

"Onónë!"

"Muinthel..."

A conglomeration of whimpering, panicked shouting, and calm questioning met my ears. With a groan, I opened my eyes slowly and looked into the faces of Elíl, Caranthir, Glorfindel, my mother and father, Mairon, Beleg, and Maeglin. For a moment, mingled disappointment and relief washed through me as I placed a hand on my forehead and sat up slowly, grimacing. I was half-disappointed that Atto wasn't there, and half-relieved that I didn't have to face him right at the moment. Later, when I'd managed to caught up with everything would be better.

"Ohhh," I whimpered.

"Are you alright, dear?" mother asked gently, and I flinched.

"Don't call me that!"

There was a heavy silence for a moment, and I looked at them. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "I'm terribly disoriented at the moment."

"As long as you're alright..." but mom's voice was a question.

"I'll be fine if I can gather myself," I replied faintly. "It isn't fun and games to be a puppet, no matter what Pinocchio says," I laughed weakly.

"What?" Elíl sounded confused.

"I was called away to the Mahanaxár for a checkup - I haven't been so stable recently - and apparently Eru decided that He'd ask me to be a puppet for a little while to teach the Valar something..." I said unsteadily, trying to recall everything that had happened.

"Don't ask," Elíl said sharply, and everyone subsided, sensing that I wasn't going to say anymore.

I smiled at them, exhausted, but they relaxed, seeing that the gesture was genuine. "I'll be fine, I promise with all I have. I've been having a bit of a rough ride as both Maia and human - it is taxing - but I'll sort things out soon and be normal in no time," I said, and they nodded in understanding. "Since you guys are helping me, it'll be even faster," I thanked them, and after some quiet words, I was left alone in my bed to rest.

I already felt refreshed if very exhausted, and knew that if I could just regain my physical strength that I could throw myself back into my duties with renewed vigor. The breakdown had been good for me to get things off of my chest, but I felt that I had opened a new can of worms.

Mentally, I knew that dealing with Alex would now be the least of my concerns. I felt confident enough that I could successfully handle it, and that issue had become a back-burner thing. But this new conundrum - that was nagging me. Did Eru take over and make me say that to make the Valar realize that they'd been ignoring Námo as far as some issue I wasn't aware of was concerned? Why had Atto mentioned a gift? Why had he wanted to - for lack of a better word - hoard me?

My head spun, and with a confused sigh, I decided to forget about it for a few hours, and fell asleep. I didn't know that Eru was watching me closely, neither could I hear his quiet whisper in the dark room.

My child, I know you don't know what I have in store for you. I know you are confused and unsure; but your trust and faith in Me have never wavered. I promise that I will never push you past the breaking point, but I also know that I will be testing your faith in Me as never before. I promise that you will understand all things in good time. Sleep, and wake refreshed... For I love Thee and all Mine children... And you shall be a gift to one.