He broke my heart and now it's raining just to rub it in. I'm at your door. I feel so crazy 'bout it…A life perfect aint perfect if you don't know what the struggle's for. Falling down aint falling down if you dont cry when you hit the 's called the past 'cause Im getting past, and I aint nothing like I was before. You oughta see me now…Yes, I was burned but I called it a lesson learned. Mistake overturned so I called it a lesson learned. My soul has returned so I call it a lesson learned…another lesson learned…

Alicia Keys

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It was about the fifteenth time that her eyes diverted to the doors of the Great Hall that Ginny decided she had to speak up and say something.

"Hermione, what in Merlin's good name is wrong with you?"

Hermione had been acting paranoid and jumpy all morning. Since she sat down to have breakfast, her eyes had been glued to the front door like a magnet. Preoccupying her attention so much that she had barely eaten anything.

"Hmm?" hummed Hermione absentmindedly as she almost dipped her eggs into her coffee mug instead of the side of ketchup sitting on the edge of her plate.

"You keep watching the door!" Ginny stretched her neck forward so that she could look her best friend in the face, squinting her eyes suspiciously as she scanned her features. "Did something happen last night?"

Unable to successfully hide her face from Ginny's accusatory glares, she slid her hands over her face which was now turning red with guilt. Not just any guilt either, that kind of guilt. Ginny recognized it immediately as the 'walk of shame' guilt.

"No…Hermione…"

Hermione buried her face further her hands, but could keep herself room peeking out between her fingers at the door just in chase. Her heart was pounding so strong in her chest that she was surprised the entire Hall couldn't hear it as it palpitated up into her throat.

"He came to my room last night after you left," she admitted in a whisper.

"Malfoy?" Ginny whispered back.

She nodded, "Who else?"

Hermione finally lowered her hands back into her lap and Ginny pulled her chair in closer, eager for the juicy details. "So? What happened? Did you guys…talk?"

"Of course we did…he basically told me that he was going to love me regardless of what I did and that he didn't want to tiptoe around that anymore."

"How did you response to that?" Ginny tried to pull down the grin that was creeping into the edge of her lips.

"I caved."

"You didn't!?" Ginny did her best to gasp in surprise at hearing this, still fighting down the urge to smile. She was in, no way, surprised. She knew her best friend all too well. "So…what exactly do you mean by caved. How far did you go?" She was trying to get closer to the point that really mattered to nosey best friends who had been married for more than twenty years and had no shame in living vicariously through the raunchy escapades of other witches.

"I mean, at first I resisted everything…what he had said, my feelings, all of that…but then I was laying there unable to sleep and I couldn't help myself." Hermione began to blush again and found it difficult to look Ginny in the eyes. "I went down to his room and I…I guess you could say I lost myself," she confessed with her eyes still glued to the Great Hall door as if Draco would enter at this, as if on cue. He didn't.

Ginny bit back the urge to exclaim 'I knew it!' and quickly picked up on her friend's subtle body language hints. "I know why you look so guilty this morning," she figured out. "I mean besides from the obvious. You ditched him before he woke up didn't you?" Ginny called her out.

Hermione nodded her head in affirmation, looking even more guilty and ashamed at hearing it out loud.

"Ohhh, that's awkward. I mean, how are you feeling about it all today? Do you regret it?"

She shrugged and finally faced inward towards her friend. "I don't know. I mean, what does it mean if I don't?"

"That's up to you, Hun. You know that he's not my favorite person in the world and I don't think he ever will be, but from what I know about the two of you…if you're really in love then I don't think either of you can really help it. It's like opposite forces, there's no actual consent over whether or not they're drawn to each other. It just happens."

"You really think that applies to us?"

"Hermione, look at you. It's been almost twenty years and you're still not over him. What else can you call that?"

"Obsession?" she offered, throwing up her hands. "Delusion? Stupidity? Take your pick!"

Ginny gave her a 'cmon' look and shook her head. "You're not the obsessive type, you're not delusional, and you're certainly not stupid so where does that leave you?"

Hermione jumped suddenly as she noticed the Great Hall door open through her peripheral vision, but it was just a group of students coming in late for breakfast.

"Calm down. I'm sure he's not going to just burst in here and announce to their entire school that you two did it last night and you bailed out once the sun came up. I mean, really?"

"I feel so embarrassed. My feelings aside…what I did was so unprofessional."

"Shut up. Please, don't even go there. No one knows about it and no one will find out so it's not a big deal. Not to mention, there are far more unprofessional things that have occurred behind these walls, a lot worse than two teachers getting it on."

Hermione blushed furiously "We didn't technically 'get it on'…just for the record. We just fooled around in an adult manner."

"Mmhmm. Must have been pretty adult if you're still blushing about it this much."

Hermione didn't respond to that and tried to redirect the conversation away from her sexuality.

"I guess…I just feel like I've been down this road before and I never seem to learn my lesson," she said in frustration.

"You have to give yourself permission to make mistakes and to get over them. You never really do that with anything though, now do you? Just remember that there are worse things you could have done."

Hermione let out a gasp and practically rushed under the table as the doors opened again and Draco walked through them with a disappointed expression carved onto his face, a deep frown nestled in the center of it.

"He didn't see me did he?" whispered Hermione frantically.

"I don't think so. He's looking around though. I think he's trying to see if you're in here. Merlin, he looks sad…like a kicked puppy. What did you do to him?"

"Thanks Gin. That makes me feel so much better."

"Well, it's true."

"I gotta slip out of here without him seeing me," she said desperately.

"I'll go over and talk to him to give you diversion then. Why don't you slip out of here and go down to the quidditch pitch? Harry is going to be here soon to mentor the Gryffindor Quidditch team. He's really excited, been talking about it all week. Draco won't be able to find you there. As head of a house, he's not allowed to watch rival teams practice now is he?"

"Brilliant idea," said Hermione with a sigh of relief.

Ginny stood up from the table then and made her way towards Draco, making sure that her body was blocking Hermione's location as best she could.

"Potter? Weasley?" said Draco with a hint of confusion. He wasn't entirely sure what to call her.

Ginny gave off a casual shrug. "I answer to both at this point. Doesn't matter what you call me."

She laughed out awkwardly as if he had said something particularly funny and shifted to the right in order to block his view as he tried to look behind her. Draco looked back at her like something was wrong with her.

"Right. What can I do for you?" he sneered, trying to make it apparent that he was clearly not in the mood to be social that morning.

"Oh, I just wanted to see how things have been for you!" Ginny hadn't cared for his snide expression but did her best to ignore his rudeness by balancing his with an obviously chirpy demeanor. "Everyone making you feel welcomed? Your students are treating you alright?"

"Yes, I've been fine. I'm sorry but I'm in a bit of a rush," lied Draco ask he pushed past her and made his way up to the staff table, sure the Weasley/Potter was rolling her eyes behind him.

He had noticed that the center chair was empty when he came through the doors and figured that Hermione was trying to avoid him.

Draco looked up at the bright and sunny enchanted ceiling, grimacing with a gloomy contrast, and failed to notice as Hermione slipped past Ginny and successfully snuck out the double-doors.

/

"Really mom? What are you doing here?" Sophia asked as she walked onto the field with her broom in tow, the rest of her team following close behind her.

"Good morning to you too," said Hermione giving her daughter's attitude a disapproving look. "I just came to see Harry for a minute. Don't worry, I'm not following you."

"Sure, if you say so." Sophia slid her new gloves on, straddled her broom and kicked up into the sky to start warm up laps with the others.

Hermione took a seat in the stands and watched their practice. Harry showed up about halfway through their warm up and joined them in the air. He spent most of his time working with the Gryffindor seeker but had a few tips and pointers for the other players as well.

Her mind began to race again as she watched her daughter running drills in the sky. Before now, she hadn't allowed herself to think about it for years or even wonder in her moments of boredom…but with Draco being so close now, she couldn't help but question Sophia's paternity.

In the beginning, it had bothered her all the time, but she never had the courage to seek the truth. She hadn't wanted either man to be the father of Sophia and so she never pursued an answer.

However, it now seemed like the truth could make all the difference in the world. Right or wrong; if Draco turned out to be her father it would make her feel like she had permission to pursue her heart without guilt.

Then there was the alternative. If Ron turned out to be the biological father of Sophia, she felt like she would certainly have a break down; a serious one.

Of course, she would love her daughter unconditionally either way, but the idea of making something so wonderful with someone who had done such a terrible thing to her made her feel sick to her stomach. Just the thought of it made her feel upset.

As she sat in the stands, she couldn't help but compare the similarities that had always been in front of her. It was true that Sophia had a temper that reminded her constantly of Ron's, but she also had the attitude consistent with a Malfoy. One she had seen displayed time and time again throughout her school years with Draco.

It unsettled her that Sophia shared Ron's instance fear of spiders, but, when she thought about it, she didn't honestly think that phobias could be inherited. At best, it had to be a coincidence, or perhaps a learned fear she had picked up from growing up around the Burrow and most of the Weasley family.

Hermione smiled to herself as she reflected on Sophia's deep love for flying and quidditch. A passion that she knew Draco shared. They both demonstrated pristine flying skill and exuberated great confidence when playing. Although Ron also loved quidditch, he had never presented the same natural grace for it like Draco or Sophia. He had started out as an incredibly clumsy flyer an easily flustered player who had spent years to acquire his abilities.

She continued to tick off comparisons in her mind. Sophia was certainly proud like Draco, but easily frustrated like Ron and quick to anger. That smirk of hers reminded her constantly of Draco, but her laugh was so similar to Ron's and a few of the other Weasley family members. The laugh was another feature she could have picked up at the Burrow though.

Then there was Landen…They had always acted like brother and sister, ever since she was a small child. Hermione always wondered if their friendship was an example of natural pull; a subconscious knowledge that were made as a match someone else, like estranged siblings who see each other for the first time and just know that they are related without needing to be told.

Sophia had stopped asking about her father around her third year at the age of thirteen. The topic used to come up everyone now and then, and always resulted in a fight between them. Then one day she stopped asking. It was after a particularly nasty fight that Hermione didn't like to think about if she didn't have to.

Hermione knew that Sophia had eventually come to the realization that her if her father knew about her, then he didn't seem to care enough to look for her or come forward. If her father didn't know about her existence then he probably had his own life established that included a wife and other kids. How would she ever fit into it his life now without ruining it?

It broke Hermione's heart to know that she felt this way. Constantly, she reminded herself that it was best that neither of them knew the truth, in the long run anyway. Besides, Sophia had so many people in her life who loved her. There was no shortage of family, so why would she need a father?

After practice ended she made her way down to the field and waved Harry over to her.

"Hermione! Hey! What'd you think of practice?" Harry set his broom down and pulled her into a hug.

"The team looks great and they seemed really excited to be working with you."

"Yeah, well, I was excited to work with them. Any excuse to get on a broom these days right?" he said with a wink.

"I supposed," she agreed with the polite chuckle.

A light rain started to patter down onto the field so they followed the team inside.

"Do you have to leave right away?"

"Not unless some kind of emergency comes up at work. I told them I'd be gone for the rest of the day."

"Brilliant, how about we head up to my office then?"

Harry followed up behind as they made their way into the castle. Once they made it to the Headmistress's office he plopped down in the chair across from her desk and made himself comfortable while she conjured up two steaming mugs of cider for them to drink.

"You know, even after all this time, I still think of this as being Dumbledore's office," noted Harry as he looked around the room.

"To tell you the truth so do I." Hermione agreed with a laugh. "I don't think I could ever come close to filling his shoes though."

"You're both brilliant in different ways. Don't underestimate yourself."

"Yes, well…that's very sweet of you to say." Hermione shrugged like it was no big deal and took a deep drink.

"I was talking to Ginny for a little bit before I came out to the Quidditch pitch. She told me that you're having a hard day, and that I should be extra nice to you today. What's going on?"

"I just have a lot on my mind," she said, trying to dismiss the topic that she had known was bound to come up. She wondered with Ginny had told Harry already, knowing that he had despised Draco more than most people.

"Wanna talk about it?" he pressed.

"I don't know that you'll be very happy with me if I do."

"What do you mean? Did something happen?" he leaned in.

Hermione decided she may as well be honest. Why hide anymore?

"What do you think about Draco? Do you think he's changed?"

Harry set his mug down on her desk and moved his chair in closer so he could have a more intimate conversation with his confused friend. He looked up at her with a stern expression, pausing for a dramatic moment while he assured himself that he had her full attention.

"Don't go down that road again," he stated plainly.

"Harry, please, just answer the question seriously." She rolled her eyes.

Harry looked like her father when he was about to lecture her. "I am being serious."

"Look, you've met with him and you've seen his progress. Don't you think it's possible that he's changed from the man he was before? When he was a deatheater? Or do you think he's always been that cruel person on the inside and that he's just trying in vain to be something different?"

"I think that it doesn't matter. It won't ever change what he did and you know that."

"I get that, but I was in love with him once Harry. I know that you hate to address that."

"Precisely. You were in love with him. Past tense. You're not in love with him anymore," he said stubbornly.

Hermione look down into her cup, diverting her eyes from him, and didn't respond.

"You're not. Right? Hermione?" Harry dipped his head down and tried to get her to look at him. "Hermione…"

She looked up at him with a torn confusion clouding her large brown eyes. "I don't know what I am right now."

"Does Sophia know what he did? About your grandparents? Does she even know what Draco was?" asked Harry. It was apparent that he was starting to feel angry at the prospect of his good friend still being in love with one of his least favorite people.

"No, she doesn't. She knows that her real grandparents were muggles and that they were killed shortly after the war. I never admitted to her that it was murder and I've never told her the details of their deaths."

"Are you sure Ron's kid hasn't told her? Besides both of his parents knowing the truth, it is public knowledge you know. They'd be able to find out what happened if they decided to do the research."

She had thought of that before and had counted herself lucky that the topic had never come up. "If Landen knows what happened from Ron telling him, then he never shared the truth with her. As far as Draco's past goes…she's never said anything to me. None of the students have. For the most part, they all like him and I don't think it's occurred to any of them to investigate."

Harry leaned back into his chair and folded his arms disapprovingly. "Well, if you let yourself do this again I can assure you that she will find out the truth about him. What will she think when she finds out her mother is in love with a former deatheater? Hmm? One that was involved in the death of her grandparents, no less?"

"I know," she strained. "I've thought about that before Harry. Believe me, I have, but I can't just pretend that I don't have these feelings anymore."

Harry was at a loss for words. "Honestly, I don't know what to tell you Hermione," he said with a shrug of indifference. "If you let Draco back in, then I think you're going to get seriously hurt again. Whatever you decide to do, just make sure you're incredibly careful. If he breaks your heart again I'll put him back in Azkaban myself."

She knew that Harry was sincerely upset about all this but didn't take his threat seriously. "I don't think that will be necessary. If I get hurt again, it'll be on me this time. Fool me once, right?"

Harry was one of the few wizards who knew this expression from his muggle upbringing. "I guess so," he agreed then changed the topic.

After Harry left, Hermione stayed in her office thinking over her next move. She thought about her future at Hogwarts. She thought about her heart, and whether or not she could ever really be happy with if she allowed herself to be with Draco again. Mostly, she thought about Sophia and what would be best for her.

Eventually she came to the decision that the truth was always the best solution. Even if the truth hurt her, at least she would be able to live with herself.

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A/N: Oh man, my last chapter had a lot of typos and errors. Super sorry about that. I promise never to edit after midnight again. I read over my chapters multiple times before I post, I honestly do. It's just that when you write something yourself, there is a tendency to fill in the blanks and mistakes in your head without noticing that they're still incorrect "on paper". I tell myself that I'm eventually going to comb through all my stories and make corrections...but let's be realistic. That's probably not going to happen. lol So, I will just make an effort to be better from here on out!

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!