An afternoon of waiting turned into an evening of waiting, and that evening turned into night.
"Cin, you can go." Ayasha sniffs as Cindy yawns and stretches. She looks down, still trying not to cry. The hours that the two waited were generally filled with silence, Cindy playing on her phone and Ayasha staring off into space, wiping her face periodically to stop any tears. Cindy soon got bored and in the middle of those two hours opened a window and smoked, trying to offer the blunt to Ayasha, who politely refused.
"You sure?" Cindy asks, turning to face Ayasha. She truly did hate seeing the girl so broken up over one dude. Ayasha had her flaws, but who didn't? Cindy was cool with it.
"Yeah." She says, getting up. "I'm getting sleepy. So maybe Riley will come back then."
"Ayasha." Cindy says, and Ayasha shakes her head.
"And if he doesn't come back, that's cool too." She continues, her throat getting tight. She didn't want to think about things like that.
"He isn't gonna leave you." Cindy shakes her head. "If he does, then me and him are gonna have to talk."
"No, it's alright Cin." Ayasha waves the words off, giving Cindy a sad smile. "Get home safely girl." She says, retreating to her room and leaving Cindy to see herself out.
Cindy sighs, shaking her head. Riley always knew how to fuck a good thing up. Jazmine wasn't wrong when she said Riley had to make it up to the girl. But, like she said before, Jazmine likes to meddle, and now look. Cindy shook her head, and closes the door, reaching under the welcome mat for the spare key and locking it behind her.
"Only an idiot would have their house key under their mat." Cindy mutters, pocketing the key. "Only Ayasha would have her house key under her mat." She restates.
Ayasha lays in bed, closing her eyes tightly and wrapping the blanket around her, trying not to cry. She failed though. Riley didn't want someone as weak as her. He'd rather have Kalani, someone who fought for what she wanted. It's not saying Ayasha didn't fight for him, because she tried. She tried so hard to keep him, and she thought he would do the same.
But he left her again. If he did come back, it'd be for his stuff. She knew that he was slowly losing interest, and that terrified her. He was always pushing her away, telling her that school was more important.
She sobbed into the pillow, placing her head on it, trying to muffle herself. She didn't need him to make anything up to her if he didn't want to. She was happy just being with him. Could no one see that? That it was being with him and him alone that made everything up. She didn't need silly Valentine gifts or flowers or anything. She needed him. She needed his love and his comfort.
She needed him to tell her to get over her insecurities, and that'd he never leave her. And that he loved her. That's all that really mattered to her.
Her phone rings and her heart leaps, causing her to jump up and her tears to stop. Was it him? Was he calling her? She quickly grabs her phone, answering it quickly, her heart in her throat.
"Hello?" She quickly asks, still hoping.
"He isn't answering his phone." Huey says, and she deflates, sinking into her bed.
"Yeah, I know." She mutters.
"Are you alright?" Huey asks, hearing the amount of sadness in her voice. He really didn't want her to go into the deep end or something. He knew of her lack of antidepressants, and how Riley served as her form of medication. "Is Cindy still there?"
"N-no. It's getting late. I told her to go home." She says, shaking her head. "I'm fine Huey. Just call me if you get anything from Riley, okay?" She asks and Huey hums in response. The two hang up, and Ayasha looks at her phone, tears forming in her eyes once more. She grits her teeth, sobs rising in her throat once more and she throws the phone away, letting it bounce safely on her carpet.
She felt so inadequate. It was her fault he left. She wasn't what he wanted so he left.
The thought sent her into another series of sobs, making her put her head back into her pillow.
Those thoughts repeated in her head, keeping her in continuous sobs. She wasn't to his liking, and she knew it. Those deep dark insecurities that she kept lidded for so long, being sated with sweet kisses and touches. It was because she was sullied. Sullied by the hands of men who were willing to take advantage of her.
They may have not gotten what they wanted, but she was still dirty. They had touched her, touches that could not be washed away, or disappear, not matter how much Riley touched her. She tried to will them away, but they were still there, and that was why Riley didn't want her.
He'd rather have someone who wasn't her, who didn't have baggage and insecurities. He'd rather have a confident person like Kalani, who knew what she wanted and knew what others wanted, while Ayasha was insecure and afraid, unsure if anyone even liked her being around them.
She was undesirable. She shakily rewraps herself in her blanket, trying to fall asleep and escape her thoughts. The thoughts that once plagued her mind long ago. She shakily inhales, silently wishing for Riley or some antidepressants. She needed something to calm her down. She then sits up, and throws the blankets off, getting out of bed and walking to her kitchen with shaky legs.
Alcohol. She could forget with alcohol. She looks at the clock, surprised at the amount of time that had passed while she was crying. What once was nine turned into eleven. Two hours of crying.
"A new record." She bitterly says, her voice uncharacteristically quiet and low, opening the fridge and looking inside, pushing things aside to look for her new saviors. A couple Strawberita's gulped down would push her dark thoughts aside and put her to sleep wherever she landed once she passed out.
She continues to look, her anger growing as she couldn't find a drop. "That damn Cindy…." She mutters, shaking her head. She closes the fridge door, the fluttering of paper catching her eye. She snatches it off of the fridge, reading it quickly.
'Cindy here, took all your booze so you won't be some type of destructive monster when Riley comes back. Nighty night girly.' She narrows her eyes at the note, sighing and placing it on the counter.
Cindy knew her too well.
She looks around, at the kitchen, littered with plates and cups and cake. She exhales, cleaning everything up quickly, trying to preoccupy herself. Anything to keep her thoughts away from herself.
She ends up doing early spring cleaning and looks at the clock once more. Two forty a.m. Three hours of cleaning. She slowly pad back to her bedroom, slipping into the empty bed and closes her eyes, trying to rest her now exhausted body.
Tears slip from her eyes and she wipes them away. He wasn't coming back.
He wasn't coming back to her.
That was her last thought before she fell into a dreamless sleep.
Riley exhaustedly walks into the house, walking into the bedroom. He couldn't explain how tired he was just by doing nothing but driving. Maybe it was the thoughts that made him tired.
He was sure she didn't want to see him again, but he couldn't stay away. He needed her. He needed her and wanted her to need him too. He wanted to mean as much as to her as she did him.
He knew deep down that she did, but she wasn't the only one who could be insecure. She was too beautiful for her own good. She caught attention, and that's what made him go crazy. Caesar wasn't the only nigga he'd have to shoo away. Even before the two were together, he'd have to chase dudes away. Even then, when he was with everyone except her, she was his. Not one soul other than his could have her.
That was just his selfish way of thinking.
He enters the bedroom, looking at her sleeping form. She was tossing and turning, her hair tangled and disheveled, a frown on her face. Even now she was the most beautiful creature he'd ever seen. And she was his. He slips off his shoes and shirt, his pants following as he enters the bed, waking her up with his movements.
She looks up at him, sleep still all over her face. "Am I sleeping?" She mutters, and he gives her a small smile.
"You were." He says, kissing her lips. She wraps her arms around his neck.
"I thought you weren't coming back." She mutters, and he kisses her again, dispelling any worries or insecurities.
"You're mine." He says. "I ain't leaving, even if we end up hating each other. You will always be my girl."
"I won't ever hate you." She mutters, laying her head in his chest and closing her eyes. The thoughts were gone and her love was back. Her heart had come back to her.
"I'd like to think that too." He says, wrapping his arms around her. "Marry me, ok?" He asks, and she smirks.
"Ok." She says.
Alrighty, that's the end. Like foreal, four day weekends are swag. I didn't think I'd be able to finish this, but I am and I'm happy. I don't plan on getting sleep for the next few days, so something new might come up quickly. I hope you guys liked this and like whatever's coming out next! I love you all, and thank you so much for the reviews. I appreciate all of it. Thanks.