An AU of this fic where every time the word 'pregnant' is used it's spelt like one of the many variations from the 'how is prangent formed' video haha anyway I digress - decided to go for song titles that are from various animes for this part. Hope you enjoy the new chapter :)

Harebare Fanfare

The way Ed remembered finding out that he was pregnant was by vomiting rather profusely in Cass' office and it seemed that Roy was going to have to suffer the same fate to make his discovery (thankfully for him though, in the comfort of his own home). After the night Ed had come home to find that Roy no longer had a 'Y' chromosome for the foreseeable future the two of them hadn't had as much time as they would have liked for sex but, as Ed suspected, the telltale signs that he picked up about himself once he knew that he was pregnant were already beginning to show in Roy.

First it was the emotional responses to everything. It started with a certain song that came on the radio (the song they had chosen for the first dance at their wedding), then it swiftly moved to becoming overly protective to anything small and cute even a baby hairless cat that both Al and Roy fawned over while Ed and May thought it looked like a cooked chicken. Even though Roy didn't notice himself Ed immediately picked up on the signs, partially because he couldn't imagine Roy cooing over something that looked like a scrotum when he was much more of a dog person at heart. What really made Roy sit up and take notice of the changes in his usual mood was when he began frequently vomiting.

"Urgh!" he groaned as he came back into the bedroom, looking forlorn. "That's the third time this morning, it must have been the chicken last night."

"The chicken was fine," Ed said as Roy lay back down on the bed beside him. "It was supposed to look like that."

"Edward, dear, I love you but there is no such thing a chicken served rare," Roy said, his voice muffled by the pillow under his head.

"And I told you last night that it was supposed to look like that because of the bacon," Ed said, a tiny vein pulsing in his temple. "I made sure that it was cooked all the way through, it was literally just meat juice."

"I'm not saying anything against your cooking skills I'm just making sure," Roy said.

"I know how to cook chicken!" Ed said, exasperated. "There was absolutely nothing wrong with last night's dinner."

"Then why do I feel so awful?" Roy asked.

"Probably because you're pregnant," Ed replied with a shrug before turning back to the equation he had been writing.

That made Roy sit up and pay attention. "What?"

"What?"

"You just said..."

Ed couldn't help but smile at how stunned Roy looked. "That you're probably throwing up because you're pregnant."

"But..."

"How do I know?" Ed asked, unable to stop himself from feeling a little smug.

"Well yes."

"Because, and I can't stress this enough, I have been pregnant before."

"Good point."

"So I've been keeping an eye on the signs because I knew you wouldn't work it out for yourself until someone spelled it out to you," Ed said with a teasing grin, leaning over to tap the end of his pen against the tip of Roy's nose.

Roy rolled his eyes. "And I'm sure you knew right away that you were with child," he grumbled.

"No," Ed laughed, "Cass made me drink four litres of water and take six pregnancy tests."

"Why six?"

"You can't always tell from one but, believe me, you can tell from six," Ed chuckled. After nearly a decade he could laugh about what had been a horrible experience in one of the toilets at Central Military Headquarters as he had watched in horror as six tests swiftly told him that he was expecting.

"Do you think I should take a test then?" Roy asked, brow furrowed, still unable to process this information.

"Yeah," Ed replied. "You want to be sure about this before we make an appointment with a doctor."

"Why does Dad need to see a doctor?" a tired voice asked from the doorway. Both Ed and Roy looked up to see Maes standing there, bleary eyed and clearly having been woken up by the earlier noise in the bathroom. He looked at Roy with worried golden eyes that looked so much like Ed's. "Dad are you sick?"

Roy sat up, wrapping his arms around Maes after he trotted over to the bed and climbed on, in between the two of them. "No, it's nothing serious, I'm just a little bit under the weather," he replied and pressed a kiss to Maes' hair.

"You sure?" Maes asked with a scrutiny that he could only have learnt from growing up with Ed.

Roy chuckled and kissed his head again. "I'm positive," he said. "I am absolutely one hundred percent fine."

"Good," Maes said. "Besides you can't get sick," he added matter-of-factly.

"And why is that?" Roy asked grinning.

"Because if you get sick then Dad will blame himself for dinner last night."

"I know how to cook chicken!" Ed groaned. "That's it, no more experimenting in the kitchen!"

"No please, it was tasty!" Maes cried.

"Yeah that's what I thought," Ed grumbled, wrapping an arm around his son's neck and pulling him close so that he could rub his knuckles again Maes' scalp. "Right, I'm going to the chemist to buy something for sicky here," he said, releasing Maes and gesturing to Roy, "do you want anything Maes?"

Maes thought about that for a moment before looking up at Ed, a look of complete seriousness on his face. "Scuba goggles."

"What could you possibly want those for?" Ed asked.

"Scuba diving," Maes replied, as if that was obvious and Ed should have known.

"Of course, silly me, ask a stupid question" Ed said shaking his head, "Never mind that we live in the city."

"They're for when we next go to Resembool so I can go in the big lake and see what's at the bottom," Maes said in that same tone that said Ed should have realised that's what he wanted them for. "Of course I can't use them when we're at home, I can see already see the bottom of the fountain outside Dad's work."

"Yeah Edward," Roy said, clearly trying to stop himself from laughing as he poked Ed teasingly in the ribs.

"Don't you start," Ed warned him, raising an eyebrow at him even though he wasn't really that bothered. This sort of banter was perfectly normal in the Elric-Mustang household and Ed wouldn't have it any other way.

Having never had to buy the pregnancy tests he took last time Ed stood in front of the display of them simply staring and wondering why the fuck there were so many different kinds when they all basically did the same damn thing. As far as he was concerned you peed on the stick and it told you one way whether you were having a kid or not, there was no reason he could think of on god's green earth for why it cost nine hundred and fifty Cenz for the pleasure. There was no way in hell he was going to pay that much especially as he was planning on getting multiple packs of them (both for Roy's piece of mind and for his).

He finally found a packet, right on the bottom shelf where there were two in a pack and it wasn't extortionately priced. He grabbed three packs of them and headed to the counter. The girl behind it was about the same age as Elicia and smiled at him as he put all three boxes on top of the counter. He smiled back awkwardly, praying that she wouldn't ask him about his purchases in that way that sales assistants are always told to do.

Deciding to take control of the situation before he opened his mouth and something stupid came out he decided to ask about the other strange request of the morning. "Long shot but do you sell scuba goggles here?"

The sales girl looked at him in utter confusion for a second before recovering herself. "We don't normally have those until the summer, so if you come back to us in a couple of months we should have something for you."

"Brilliant thanks," Ed smiled.

"Big plans for the summer?" she asked.

"They're for my son," Ed replied. "Going underwater seems to be his new fascination."

"And are these for your wife?" the girl asked as she scanned the last of the pregnancy tests.

"No, my husband," Ed replied before he could stop himself and instantly regretted it as the expression on the girl's face turned to absolute confusion. Why on earth would a man need pregnancy tests in any normal circumstances? Ed grinned at her. "It's a long story," he said before she could ask.

"Right..." she said, elongating the word as she tried to wrap her head around that one. "That will be eight hundred and seventy Cenz please."

Ed handed her a note as he took the bag from the counter top. "Keep the change," he told her and left as swiftly as possible. Well that was certainly a conversation, he thought to himself as he began to walk back home, next time engage brain and then speak!

When he pushed the door open ten minutes later he was greeted by the smell of pancakes and instantly felt at home. Slipping off his shoes he swiftly went upstairs to his and Roy's bedroom and placed the bag of pregnancy tests on the bed before heading back downstairs and into the kitchen. Maes was sitting at the table reading a large book on underwater plant life while Roy was at the stove flipping a pancake.

"Hey buddy," Ed said giving Maes' hair a ruffle as he passed. "They didn't have your scuba goggles but the girl I spoke to said they would have some in a couple of months for the summer so we can get you some then."

"Thanks Dad," Maes said beaming at him. "Do you think that will be before we go to Resembool?"

"Probably," Ed replied. "If not I'm sure we can get some while we're out there."

"Awesome," Maes cried happily.

"And," Ed said as he made his way over to the stove to wrap his arms around Roy's waist, "the things I got for you are in a bag on the bed."

Roy leaned back and pressed a kiss to Ed's forehead. "Thank you, you're a life saver. I probably should have just gone myself but I really didn't feel up to it."

"It's fine," Ed said and began rubbing soothing circles on Roy's stomach. "You haven't been sick again have you?"

"No but about five minutes after you left I realised I was starving and Maes said he fancied some pancakes so I decided I'd try my hand at them again for the first time in years," Roy told him, smiling.

"Have you had the duff one yet?" Ed asked.

"The duff one?"

"Yeah, you know, the first one always comes out a bit odd because you're not totally sure what you're doing," Ed chuckled.

"Isn't that what they say about children?" Roy asked and the both of them turned to look over at Maes still reading his huge book.

"I think he turned out alright," Ed said with a grin.

"And I'll have you know that my first pancake was amazing as well," Roy said. "Wasn't it Maes."

"Ten out of ten; would pancake again," Maes replied, briefly looking up from his book to give Roy a thumbs up.

"Okay I believe you," Ed chuckled, reaching up on his tiptoes so that he could press a kiss to Roy's neck. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Not really," Roy replied. "Sit there and look pretty."

"That I can do with minimal effort."

"Oh, actually you could make some coffee," Roy said after a moment's thought.

"You know if you are pregnant you won't be able to have coffee," Ed said, voice low so that only Roy could hear him. The look Roy gave him said that Ed may as well have just personally cancelled all known holidays.

"What?"

"Can't have caffeine if you're pregnant," Ed stated.

"So I can't drink alcohol and I can't have coffee?" Roy asked, desperate for clarification on the coffee front.

"Nope," Ed replied shaking his head, unable to stop himself from grinning. He knew he shouldn't be – he remembered how much he had hated giving up coffee when he was pregnant with Maes – but Roy looked so indignant at the though that he couldn't help it.

"Well that hardly seems fair," Roy grumbled.

"Are you sure you want to take those tests?" Ed asked cheekily.

"Definitely."

A few hours later once a large stack of pancakes had been eaten and Maes was out at the park with Travis, a friend of his from school, Ed stood outside the bathroom door, waiting. The anticipation was already starting to make him a little nervous but he knew that it was going to be so much worse for Roy.

"Oh fuck it all!" came from the bathroom after a few moments of silence.

"You okay?" Ed asked through the door.

"Yes," came the sightly irritated reply.

"You pee on your hand again?" he asked, also remembering the trial and tribulations of dealing with actually taking pregnancy tests.

"Shut up!" Roy snapped giving Ed his answer.

"Would you like a hand?" Ed asked after a pause.

"No thank you," Roy said. "I'd like to keep some of the magic alive between us."

Ed chuckled. "Well the offer is there if you want it."

"Thank you."

"How many have you done now?" Ed asked after another short pause.

"That was the fifth," Roy replied.

"Have you looked at any of them yet?"

"No," Roy said and Ed could hear the nerves in his voice. "I can't quite face it so they're all face down in a row on the bathroom sink."

"Fair enough, well we can look at them together when you're ready."

"Thank you," Roy said. "I'll do the sixth one now and then we can have a look."

"Sure thing."

After a few minutes, and a lot more swearing on Roy's part, the bathroom door finally opened. "Okay," Roy said with a sigh of relief, "that's all of them."

"How do you feel?" Ed asked.

"Excited," Roy replied after a moment to think, "nervous and like I never want to see another glass of water again."

"Understandable."

"I still haven't been able to look at any of them," Roy said as Ed followed him into the bathroom.

"That's okay," Ed said rubbing his arm comfortingly. "That's what I'm here for."

"I just... what if I'm not?" Roy asked, voice small and a little scared. "What if we've done all this and it hasn't worked."

"Well we can try again and if that doesn't work we can always look into other options if we still want to have another kid," Ed replied, taking Roy's hand and giving it a squeeze.

"Okay."

The entire situation was bringing back a whole host of memories for Ed and he couldn't help but chuckle to himself.

"What?" Roy asked.

"Nothing," he said, shaking his head. "I just find it incredibly ironic – you're desperate to be pregnant but when I was in your position I was desperate not to be."

"Do you ever regret your decision?" Roy asked.

"No, of course I don't," Ed replied, barely even having to stop and think about that. "If I hadn't been I wouldn't be such good friends with Cass, I wouldn't have had Maes and it wouldn't have bought us back together again."

Roy leaned down slightly and pressed a kiss to Ed's lips. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"So how long do we need to leave these before they're ready?" Roy asked nodding at the sticks lining the sink.

"Well it said 'results in one minute' on the box so all of them should be ready by now," Ed said.

"Alright..."

"So whenever you're ready we can look at them and see what's what."

"Alright..." The two of them wait. Roy desperately trying to build up the courage to actually look and Ed waiting until Roy was ready. Neither of them said anything for a good few minutes before, finally, Roy took a deep breath. "Alright, let's do this."

"Okay," Ed said smiling reassuringly at him. "Do you want me to...?"

"Please," Roy said without Ed even having to finish the question.

"Okay." Still holding Roy's hand Ed reached over and picked up the first stick. He turned it over and two pink lines stared back at him. This time, rather than the crushing despair of thinking oh fuck what am I going to do now a smile spread across his face. He turned the test so that Roy could see it too. "Well this one says you're pregnant."

Roy took a sharp intake of breath and his eyes widened. A smile began to tug at the corners of his mouth but he instantly seemed to reign it in. "You can't always tell from one."

"True," Ed said and turned the second stick over: pregnant.

Pregnant.

Pregnant.

Pregnant and pregnant.

"Oh my god," Roy said on an out-breath, hardly daring to believe what he was seeing.

"You can tell from six," Ed said, a huge smile spreading over his face.

"I guess you can," Roy said. It still clearly hadn't quite sunk in so Ed simply gave his hand a squeeze and didn't say anything else until it seemed that he had finally taken it in. "This is... I... I'm sorry, I can't really believe that this is happening."

"Believe it," Ed said with a smile.

"We're having a baby," Roy said, a smile of his own spreading across his face.

"Yeah we are," Ed said, cementing it in both of their minds.

"I think I'm going to be sick again," Roy said, still with a huge smile on his face.

"Okay." Ed stepped passed him out of the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He could still hear the sounds of Roy retching even through the closed door though. "That's morning sickness for you."

"Duly noted." A few minutes later Roy emerged from the bathroom looking a little pale but still as if nothing in the world could dull his mood.

"You alright?" Ed asked.

"Surprisingly good, considering that I've just thrown up, I am," Roy replied.

"Good," Ed said taking his hand and giving it a squeeze.

"So what happens now?" Roy asked after a pause. "Considering that I've never knowingly been around anyone who was pregnant and actually had to do anything other than commenting on how good she looks I don't actually know what I'm supposed to do."

"Well I think I need to give an old friend from Aerugo a call," Ed grinned.

'Harebare Fanfare' by MimimemeMIMI (Amaama To Inazuma – Sweetness And Lightning – Opening One)