Underpayed.
It was that time of week again. Payday.
Zack frowned down at his paycheck. He had patrolled the building for ten hours and gone on dozens of missions and all he got was 100 Gil? He couldn't feed his Snowball addiction with this! Ahem, he meant; buy a wonderful gift for his wonderful girlfriend.
After all, Cloud got seven times his amount and he called in sick all week! Which was all a lie! Fibbery!
Furious, he marched up to his mentor's office to whine and beg to have the older man's paycheck. He was under-payed because he was sexy and everyone else was just jealous!
He threw open the door. Once Angeal looked up from his intricate crotchet and at Zack through his tiny Granny specs, Zack melted into a blob of babbling, annoying goo.
"'Geal! I'm poor 'cause I'm sexy!" The ravenette cried as he hurried into the office. He threw the check on the man's desk and plopped on a nearby sofa, miserably burying his face in a pillow.
The older man rolled his eyes and spoke to his apprentice who was shedding dramatic tears onto his favorite pillow he crafted himself. He scowled at Zack's salty eye water ruining his pillow.
"Isn't that what street corners are for?" he answered the mess on the couch. Immediately Zack's shaky blubbering movements stopped, his body becoming solid with an idea.
Angeal knew he had said the wrong thing. "That's not what I meant!" he shouted before Zack could bound up and happily skip to the nearest Edge corner, as if reading his mind.
Zack sat up instead. His red, tear streaked face an ugly sight for Angeal. The older man grimaced in disgust and continued his paperwork, not bothering to look at the measly paycheck in front of him.
Before he could open his mouth to complain, or demand Angeal to reassure him by saying he was indeed sexy, The Granny lifted a finger to the door that led out of his office."Sephiroth." he said. The grandchild obeyed, knowing that familiar tone meant Angeal didn't have much patience left and was about to slice his appendix out with the seemingly innocent designer fountain pen.
Grudging gloomily to the General, the Head Paycheck Master, Zack finally found out why he was so poor this week.
"Your wages were docked." The General said flatly. "Just be thankful I learned my humanity from Genesis and didn't dock everything but a penny." If it wasn't for the seriously straight face, Zack would have thought Sephiroth was trying to make a joke. Genesis having humanity? Impossible! And the redhead would leave him with a stinkin' penny!
But docked? He was an angel all week and did everything he was told like a good little puppy would!
"But for why?" Zack asked. Sephiroth wanted to rub the young SOLDIER's tongue raw with a bar of soap for the improper English. Instead, he resorted to clenching the sides of the desk, nails digging into the expensive Costa Del Sol palm wood in agitation.
Removing his nails ebbed into the desk, Sephiroth brought out a folder and explained.
"The exploding toilet 'accident'," he read from a long list from within the crisp folder. "'accidentally' spray painting the lobby, 'accidentally' decking Genesis's pet hamster out the window of the fifty second story window. . ." he could continue on, but decided to stop there.
Zack had opened his mouth multiple times to object the claims Sephiroth was ticking off, but couldn't think of good excuses, so he shut it. He had told them all of those were accidents, which they were! Well, maybe the hamster one was the only accident. Genesis still wouldn't look in his direction after the death of Chunky.
Defeated, Zack left the office without speaking a word as he hung his head in shame. Sephiroth sighed in relief.
The only option left was to go see Cloud.
"So, you want to join the family business." the blonde seated in the chair confirmed in a very Godfather-ish way.
"Er, yeah?" Zack answered. Since when was the Strife Delivery Service a family thing? It was just the Chocobo.
Zack had explained his situation to Cloud and asked if he could help deliver some things for extra cash. And Cloud agreed. Extra help would be nice.
"You start now." Cloud said in a way that showed him and Zack had no relation whatsoever. He must have been watching to many movies lately, Zack concluded.
And off they went, Cloud slowly riding his motorcycle so Zack could keep up while on Marlene's bicycle.
If you thought the blonde was going to let the clueless, accident prone ravenette actually ride on Fenrir with him, you must be crazier than Hojo hopped up on energy drinks.
For one, it was absolutely gay. And two, Zack was bad luck. Just being near him might get you hit by a bus that somehow materializes out of nothingness.
So for Zack to be on the miniscule, basket and bell bicycle complete with the sparkly streamers on the handlebars, solved both of those problems. Cloud's manliness would be safe and Zack would get smooshed under large vehicle tires without him.
Zack forcefully wheeled the petals, trying vainly to keep up with the motorcycle only going 3MPH in a 35MPH zone, the opposing traffic staring at the odd sight. At first Zack despised the idea when Cloud firmly told him he was going on the bicycle, so the ravenette started to pla on trying to mowdown the much bigger motorcycle. But now, Zack had warmed up to the itsy-bitsy bike. Especially after how he discovered the plastic bell on the bike pissed the blonde off.
Tink Tink! the faggy sounding chime came from behind the blonde. Cloud tensed his shoulders at the annoying sound.
Tink! Zack tried to get his attention. The blonde stayed fixated on the road, knowing Zack's intentions.
TINKTINKTINKTINKTINKTINKTINK!
Cloud was starting to get fed up and wished he had something to chuck at the nuisance behind him. Zack grinned to himself at how much he irked his friend.
Cloud clenched Fenrir's bars tighter and gritted his teeth. The needle on the speed gauge rose ever so slightly, practically leaving the sweaty and exhausted ravenette in the dust. The man on the children's bicycle forced his noodling legs to pedal faster as to not get caught in the traffic and lose Cloud. After all, he didn't know where the package resting in the bike's sparkle coated basket was supposed to be delivered!
Eventually, after Cloud's leisurely ride and Zack's backbreaking expedition, they finally made it to their destination.
The fancy apartment building looked familiar to Zack, but he just couldn't put his finger on it. Cloud dismounted Fenrir and nudged his head in the buildings direction and then pointed to the medium sized box that hardly fit in Zack's basket.
"Gotta deliver that to Sephiroth." The blonde explained. And that's when Zack remembered the building.
Once when Zack was wasted, Angeal tried to bring him to Sephiroth's apartment -the closest building at the time- to calm down and relax. But Zack refused to go inside so instead he declared he had to 'take a piss' and marked the side of the building's lovely exterior as his territory.
Upon entering the building, the young woman at the receptionist's desk greeted Cloud by his first name and smiled. Cloud raised his hand in salutation.
"Heya, Barb." Cloud said in a friendly matter that made Zack jealous. Why was it that Cloud was so nice to young pretty ladies with ugly old lady names and he was such a meanie to him, his best friend?
And why was he on such goody-goody terms with her anyway? He was gonna have to rat him out to Tifa when they get back to the bar.
They made their way across the lobby and entered the elevator. Cloud pressed the button to a floor somewhere near the top and they slowly ascended upwards, the horrendously catchy elevator music making an awkward atmosphere as Zack pondered the womans relations with Cloud.
Said blonde noticed the smoke coming out of the ravenette's ears as his brain worked over time, so he stayed silent not wanting to break the precious and rare moment in which Zack actually thought about something. No matter how pointless those thoughts may be.
The door to Sephiroth's apartment was the last one down the corridor, a strange vibe emanating from it. Zack looked to Cloud to see if he noticed. His friend seemed unfazed.
But, it was the door to Sephiroth's home. It was supposed to feel intimidating. Even the silver haired General's dirty laundry had a intimidating, funky vibe drifting from it. And it wasn't because of the smell of the sweaty-from-training socks, either.
Cloud knocked. No one answered. One side of his lips curved downwards into a half-frown. Sephiroth was always home to pick up the monthly delivery. He tried the doorknob, and found that it was unlocked.
Pushing the door open quietly, he crept in. Why would the General just leave his door open? That gives fangirls access to his underwear drawer!
Zack followed the paranoid blonde in normally and quite noisily as he obnoxious clomped behind him like a cow as he read the label on the package:
OJOH'S SHAMPOO-ING HAIR PRODUCTS.
So this was Sephiroth's secret to gorgeously flowing, cliche commercial-like hair? Zack continued to read, thoroughly interested.
"Grow hair now! Conditions, moisturizes, cleanses, smooths, de-tangles, prims! Makes the ladies love you! Does everything, except cooks!" It read.
Oh yeah! He was definitely ordering himself some of this! Tiny black font caught his eye and crushed his hopes of having amazing hair.
-May give your hair an old man-ish color. Use at own risk-
Zack paled at the thought of his hair greying. Aerith would leave him!
A worried ravenette stood inside the building with Cloud. The blonde looked around and into every room, seeking out the silver haired man.
"Shouldn't we just leave this in the bathroom?" Zack finally asked. He wanted the box out of his hands as soon as possible. Holding it by the edges by the tips of his fingers in disgust, as if the silver hair disease was contagious through the box.
Cloud shrugged, not wanting to give too much praise for Zack's semi-logical answer.
The duo was in awe once they opened the door to the humongous bathroom. Hair products GALORE. It was like a freaking beauty parlor with the variety of hair brushes, shampoos, serums, creams, mousses, sprays and at least nineteen hairdryers!
"Whoa, this is so cool-!" Zack marveled at all the colorful packaging of the jars and tubes that decorated the amazingly neat and organized mansion-sized bathroom. Until he slipped on one of those prettyful tubes.
He skid across the floor as some sort of gel squirted out of the plastic container with a farting noise, influencing his skating trip down the massive space of tiling. Flailing arms knocked down the items lined up in their pristine and orderly rows on the shelves.
They clattered to the ground, glass jars shattering and plastic bottles exploding upon impact with the floor. The whole display of splattering hair products as Zack unwillingly figure skated down the never ending length of the bathroom was almost majestic-looking to Cloud. But also frightening. What if Sephiroth happened to stroll in and witness the catastrophe currently taking place?
Zack shouted in pain as he finally collided with a wall, unable to stop himself during the slip-and-slide fiasco earlier. Cloud flinched, as if feeling Zack's pain. The ravenette crumpled to the floor in a greasy, sticky concoction heap of mousse and shampoo.
Footsteps is what brought Cloud out of his stunned daze. Heavy boots were coming from a room somewhere on the other side of the surprisingly vast apartment, and were coming towards the bathroom.
In a worried frenzy, Cloud snatched a roll of toilet paper from the little holder and crudely wrapped it around his shoes thickly. He then made a mad dash for Zack, the effective three ply paper around his shoes preventing him from slipping and ending up like his friend.
He hauled Zack up, and ran for the door as he dragged the confused ravenette who might possibly have a concussion along through the muck. Cloud chucked the package carelessly over his shoulder once he snatched it from Zack's limp grasp. Leaving a track of goop on the carpet as he exited the bathroom, Cloud finally made it to the outside of the apartment door just as Sephiroth rounded the corner of the living room and entrance to the bathroom.
Cloud sighed once they made it back outside. Marlene was not gong to be a happy child when she got her bike back covered in gunk once Zack was forced to pedal it all the way back home.
Not only was Sephiroth extremely pissed at the mess that somehow happened while he disappeared for two minutes, but when he finally had to use the toilet, he cursed. Cloud had taken the toilet paper roll with him out of nervousness and left Sephiroth stranded on the toilet, paper-less.
Here's another chapter ^_^ I'd like to thank my awesome new Beta, Lartovio for editing this out for me! Thank You! Tell me what you thought through a review! 8D
~Sabby-Sama