A/N – Thank you all for the wonderful reviews that I've been getting on this story recently! I really appreciate it! Here's a little more for all of you!

Disclaimer – I don't own NCIS or the characters.

Chapter 21 - Heading for Madrid

Mogadishu, Somalia

Ziva's POV

I pressed my face firmly into Tony's chest. I still did not have a shirt on, and I did not care right now. The care that Tony had showed and the way he was treating me was so overwhelming. I was comforted, certainly, but I was also very touched. It warmed my heart. But with all that had happened, all I could do was cry. I had to cry because my injuries weren't just hurting me, they were hurting Tony and he was caring and comforting through it all, learning too much for one day.

I cried for a while and he held me tight, being extra careful not to touch the center of my back while he held me in place. I could tell that tears were escaping his eyes as well when I felt a warm spot seep into my dirty hair. I pulled back from him and he handed me my shirt. He wiped my eyes without bothering with his own. I looked at him, as tears continued to streak down his cheeks, leaving cleaner marks on his dirty face.

I reached my hand up slowly to him and wiped his tears away, leaving my hand on his cheek. I did not know how to process all that I was feeling. Hurt, comfort, and love all at the same time. But, I was devastated that this was breaking him apart little by little. But, he was showing it to me, instead of using a movie reference or some joke to hide behind. I was glad for that.

I put my shirt on and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I'm confused," I said to him, finally being honest.

He sat down next to me. He slowly took my hand and I laced our fingers together, looking at them. He was still moving extremely slowly and very carefully.

"What's confusing?"

"The emotions," I whispered, almost afraid to admit it. "I... I don't really know… what to feel. I'm happy and sad. I'm relieved and scared. I'm hurt and comforted. I'm broken and whole. I'm…."

"Shh," Tony said quietly. "It's okay. There's a lot going through your mind, Ziva. You don't have to process it all now. It will take some time. I'll be right here helping you when you want me to, if you want me to. I'll help in whatever way I can. But, don't try to do it all at once. Just focus on the good of today. You're alive and you're safe."

I nodded to him, understanding that it was too much to take in all at once. He knew that I wasn't used to trying to process one emotion at a time, let alone so many that conflicted with each other. I was going to use Tony's help.

"I'll need help," I whispered to him, admitting it, which was no easy task for me normally, but today it felt like the simplest thing I had done in four months.

"I'm right here, Ziva," he promised me again. "I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere you don't want me to go."

I nodded again and leaned my head against his shoulder. We sat silently for a moment. When there was a knock on his door I jumped and stood up suddenly. He steadied me with his hands and then pulled them off me again, afraid that I had gone into a panic attack one more time.

"It's just Gibbs," Tony said peering out the peep hole. "You okay?"

I shook my head. I closed my eyes and felt the tears seep out from under them. I had never been so jumpy in all my life. He walked over to me, but didn't touch. He looked me in the eyes and waited a moment.

I walked up to him, after opening my eyes. I took his hand and pulled him close to me. Then, he turned and led me to the door. He opened it.

"I brought you two sandwiches, if you want them?" Gibbs asked.

"I think we should get back as soon as we can, boss," Tony said, looking at me again. His eyes were asking me a question. He wanted to know if it was okay to tell Gibbs why. "Her back is infected. We've got to get her some antibiotics."

Gibbs merely nodded, wondering why Tony knew that. He looked at me hard, wondering if something had just happened between me and Tony. I shuddered and shook my head, trying to calm the tears that were in my eyes. Gibbs looked as though he were in pain too. He pulled me into a hug now and I flinched at the touch. When I flinched he returned me to Tony's arms, where I felt oddly safe and I nodded to him, hoping to show my appreciation for the gesture.

"Let's go, then," Gibbs said.

"One minute," I said quietly. "I'd very much like to brush my hair."

Gibbs chuckled and closed the door. Tony had rushed away from me. He touched my arm very gently, again letting me know that he was there. He began to slowly drag the brush through my hair and I closed my eyes at the gentle sensation. It was nice to feel something so comforting. A brush was all it took to send tears to my eyes. Tony was really acting very accepting of a broken me and a me that did not know who to trust and who not to trust.

When he finished he grabbed his bag and McGee's. He then took my waist and led me out of the hotel. McGee and Gibbs were sitting on the sidewalk near the door. They looked up as we came out. I felt much better after getting cleaned up and changed. It had been a long time since I had had that many amenities.

"I checked us out, Tony," McGee said quietly, noticing the way we were standing, close but cautious.

"Thanks," he said back just as quietly.

"Let's get going."

Somewhere Flying over Sudan, or Maybe Libya

Tony's POV

It had been about half an hour since Ziva had fallen asleep. She looked more comfortable than before. She had finally eaten, though not as much as she normally did. She had drank more water and was already beginning to look healthier. I could feel that her temperature was high, but I already knew why that was. I was so concerned about her and how jumpy she was. It was a little unnerving to see my ninja so jumpy at the smallest things. I knew it would get better, but it would take time. Now was the time to talk to Gibbs, who was sitting right across from me on a small private plane that he had hired at Mogadishu International Airport a few hours ago.

I looked at him. He was watching Ziva like a hawk. I shook my head. The truth serum was finally starting to wear off a little. I was thinking clearly still, but I didn't have anymore impulses to just say whatever came to mind anymore, which was good. That meant it was easier to just say what needed to be said.

"Gibbs?" I said quietly.

His eyes raised to mine, his eyebrows up a little. He wondered what I could want to know.

"She's struggling," I said to him. "I knew to expect that. But, I don't know how to help her."

"Do what you're doing, DiNozzo," Gibbs said. "Just be there and keep offering the comfort. Don't be surprised if sometimes she refuses it. Take it easy on her. She seems like she's been through hell."

"I think so," I whispered, remembering what she told me about her injuries. "I mean her emotions. You know how she is. She struggles with the simplest ones. She's got so many conflicting emotions right now. Both good and bad. But, she's also not told me the big one she's struggling with."

"Which is?" Gibbs asked, already knowing that I had figured out what it was.

"Her feelings for me. I think she's struggling with that more than she's ever going to be ready to admit," I explained.

"Just be there, DiNozzo," Gibbs offered. "She'll see how you feel. She'll see how she feels. She'll take it one step at a time. She'll struggle. Sometimes, she'll turn away from you and if that happens, you have to let it go. Don't get mad and don't get impatient. This was traumatic."

I nodded. It was the only response that I had. I understood what he was saying, I just needed to know if I was doing it right so far. I had already seen a small difference since leaving the camp with Ziva. She was still very jumpy and panicked often at small things, like the roar of the plane's engine. But, she was allowing me to hold her and comfort her. She had changed in that way, where she was willing to accept what I offered.

I knew enough from her letter to know exactly how she felt about me, but that, even before this mess, she was afraid to admit it. I knew that now it would be even more difficult to maintain that level of trust. I expected lapses in that in the future, because of what she went through and that was going to be the times that would test my patience to the limits. I would have to be patient with the times that she wasn't as open or as welcoming of the comfort as she was right now.

I looked down at her. Her head was on my shoulder and my arm was around her waist. If someone had told me four months ago that I would be holding Ziva in my arms, I would have told them they were nuts, because that ninja didn't process emotions on that high of a level. If someone had told me two months ago that I would be holding Ziva in my arms I would have told them that I only wished she would come home so I could do so. But, if someone had told me two weeks ago that I would be holding Ziva in my arms, I would have told them that that was impossible, since she was dead.

Yet, here we were. I was holding Ziva in my arms. She was alive. She was beaten and abused and well, I wasn't going to think of that. But, anyway, she had been through hell and I was holding her. I was the one she was turning to for comfort. I had gotten the basic idea of her letter when I had read it, but it was clearer to me seeing the actions behind it. That was what had changed, permanently. Opening up even a little bit to me, well, I guess it was more than a little, had made Ziva see that she wanted my help and would accept it.

I sighed and leaned back in the chair, careful not to jostle Ziva and startle her awake. Something happened though. She started to mutter in her sleep and I couldn't tell what she was saying; it was in Hebrew. She broke into a sweat and started to move around a little.

I carefully placed a hand on her shoulder and shook it lightly. When she flinched, I gripped her shoulder hard and stared into her eyes. She looked back into mine, confused for a moment. Then, she nodded and sighed.

"Nightmare?" I asked her.

She nodded again without saying anything to me. She didn't want to talk about it with the others nearby. I narrowed my eyes and she laid her head back down on my chest. Then, finally, closing my eyes, I drifted off to an uneasy sleep, holding Ziva tightly to me.

Somewhere Flying over Southern Spain

Ziva's POV

"Gibbs?" I asked, as I looked up, knowing that I was not going to sleep with Tony asleep, so the nightmare would not escalate, since I was sure it was going to come and he needed sleep at least as much as I did, if not more.

His eyes shot up to mine, wide with curiosity and wonder. He did not think I was going to talk to him. He nodded, telling me to go ahead.

"I do not know how to deal with all this," I said to him. "You know how I feel about him. But, with everything that happened, how do I handle that?"

"One day at a time, David," he said quietly. "You start with today. You trust Tony and show Tony that you trust him. You keep doing what you've been doing until you are a little more comfortable in your own skin. Then, you can talk to him about whatever you need to talk about."

I nodded to him.

"I trust him," I said to Gibbs.

"I know you do," Gibbs replied with a smile on his face. "I can see that. You are more comfortable with his touch than anyone else's at this point. Do you want him with you when you see the doctor?"

I thought about it a second, knowing that there were going to be parts of that appointment that I should not want anyone in there for, normally. I nodded to Gibbs. I could not do that without my partner, my Tony.

"Would you prefer to stay at my house or his apartment if he offers it?" Gibbs asked.

"His, if he asks," I said to Gibbs. "Nothing against you. Just… I feel safe with him. He makes me feel safe and secure."

He nodded. "I get it, David," he said. "You might want to wake him, though. We're almost there. Probably another ten minutes until we land in Madrid."

I nodded and looked at Tony as I laid on his shoulder. I smiled at the protective arms that were wrapped around my body. I nuzzled my head into his chest and then moved it up to whisper in his ear.

"Tony, we are almost to Madrid," I told him.

He jumped a little and looked at me. He smiled and then it faded, everything coming back to him apparently. I settled my head back into his neck and made myself comfortable there, glad that he was protecting me from dangers that no longer existed to the others, but still did to me.

"Thanks for waking me," he muttered sleepily.

"Thank you for this," I said to him, brushing his arms with my fingers and staying where I was.