Chapter 21

Nate drew a deep breath and looked up at the anxious faces of his team, his family.

"I am sorry. I realize now that what I did, what I have been doing for the last…well since…since Maggie, well it was wrong. You guys are my family, my only family. I hurt you, all of you and I am sorry." Nate blew out a breath and looked up to the ceiling trying to compose himself before continuing.

"Nate…" Sophie started but Nate held his hand up to stop her.

"I need to say this Sophie, just let me." Nate said to her, he wanted to get this all out; he wanted to make them understand. Sophie nodded and sat back in her chair waiting with the others for him to continue.

"I guess I was afraid. I was afraid to lose any one of you. I don't think I could handle it if any one of you were ever…if any one of you...Well, what I mean is, I felt that you all would be safer if I was not around. The fact is that my family is dead. My…my son, my father, my wife…"

"Ex-wife." Sophie muttered causing Nate to smile slightly before continuing.

"My EX-wife…they are all dead. I convinced myself that the reason was me, that I was the common denominator, the reason for these things happening. I decided on my course of action because I did not want…do not ever want to be the cause of any of you being hurt…or…worse." Nate said softly, his voice hitching on the last word, the implication plain.

"You were being an idiot." Parker muttered. Nate stared at the young woman and smiled despite himself.

"Anyway, I have realized something through all of this." Nate stopped again, God this was hard. "I realized that as much as leaving you was what I thought was the right thing to do…as much as I still think that it would be the best thing to do…"

"Nate don't…" Sophie said softly dreading what he was going to say next.

Nate looked at the Grifter, he could feel her angst, her fear. "What I was going to say is…is that I was wrong. I was wrong because after this whole fiasco with your 'con' I admitted to myself what I should have realized from the beginning. You have all stood by me even though I have been a…"

"Selfish bastard." Eliot supplied for him.

Nate looked at his hitter and nodded his head in agreement. "Thank you Eliot." Nate said with a smile.

"A selfish bastard and a reckless one too. I have placed you all in danger at one time or another during cons. But you never backed away, you never let me down, you never…never left, even though you all probably should have. Even when you thought I was wrong, you stood by me. For that I have to thank you all." Nate looked again at each one of his team, looking them directly in the eye. "The fact is that leaving is the logical thing to do, the right thing to do. It would be the best thing for all of you."

"Now you really are being an idiot Nate." Hardison said staring directly at the older man. "You think it would be the 'right' thing…well for who…you? Not us, don't you get it man. You gave us each a new life, a good life, a life we are proud of. Yes it is dangerous, yes we could get killed. We all know that and we accept the dangers. Man you don't think our lives were dangerous before you came along, hell our lives are probably less dangerous now than then…I mean now we have you to...we have us…" Hardison gestured to the group who sat mesmerized by his sudden outburst. "Before we only had ourselves…now we have us, we have each other's backs, and that makes us safer than we ever were. Yes our work is dangerous you knew that from the beginning. Yes sometimes you…you go off the rails…you get out of control…but…but we are all still here aren't we. That is because you pull us through, no matter what…YOU Nate, you make sure we get through everything. You take the fall if that is what is needed. You make sure we are safe…You can say what you want man, you can tell yourself anything you want to but we are your family…you said it. You don't just walk out on your family man…that ain't right, or the best thing you could do…it's just plain wrong and you know it." Hardison said. He sat back in his chair his eyes swimming in tears some of which escaped and he swiped at them silently. He had said what he wanted to say…if Nate as going to leave well he should know that he was not doing it for them, he was doing it for himself, and only himself.

"Hardison is right Nate. Hell if we had not started this I don't know where I would be…but it would not be here, it would not be in a place where I can actually sleep at night. It would not be in a place where I could feel again…" Eliot cleared his throat fighting back the emotion that was threatening to overwhelm him. How did he make this man understand he had not only saved his life, he had given him a new one, one which he did not hate himself for living. "You want to leave…go ahead and leave…but don't ever say you are doing it for us, for me…'cause that is a lie and you know it."

"Remember what I said three years ago Nate…without 'us' we were all miserable. But more than that, none of us could go back to the lives we were living before you, before us. It took me walking away from you all for me to realize that I could not be happy without all of you in my life. Now if you want to walk away from this…from us…from me, then that is what you have to do. But Nate, you will not be doing it for me or Parker or Hardison or Eliot, no you will be doing it for yourself, for Nate Ford. You will be doing it so that you can…can go and wallow in your own…" Sophie stopped abruptly unable to continue as emotion and fear and anger overwhelmed her.

"Ok..Ok…enough." Nate said. "Enough. You have made your point. Now let me finish mine. I was going to say that you all have made me see that even though it IS the logical thing, probably the BEST thing I could do to walk away…it is not the right thing, not for me or for you. I need you, all of you. So if you all still want me, then I am not going anywhere." Nate told them. "I am sorry…I am so…"

Nate was interrupted as Parker flew from her seat and threw her arms around him. "I knew it. I knew we could make you see. I knew you could not leave us again, I knew it." Parker said as she hugged the Mastermind tightly. "Don't ever do that again Nate…you promise me Nate."

"I promise Parker…I promise with all my heart." Nate said hugging her back unable to hold back the tears that had threatened to fall for so long.

"Good then it is settled and we can get back to normal…?" Eliot said gruffly. "This is done."

"Yes Eliot…and…"

"Don't say it Nate, I don't need to hear it, just remember…you do this to us again and I'll break every bone in your body…get it."

"Got it." Nate said taking Eliot's proffered hand.

"Hardison…" Nate said looking to his Hacker.

"It's done. Forgotten, never going to happen again, ever right?" Hardison said also taking Nate's hand and shaking it.

Eliot looked to Parker and Hardison. "Hardison didn't you want to show us some…uh…some games or something…" Eliot said indicating to both of them that they needed to leave the Mastermind and the Grifter alone for a while.

"Nah man…no…"

"Dammit Haridson…"

"Don't be an idiot Hardison, Eliot wants us to leave Sophie and Nate alone."

Sophie looked at the young thief and smiled at her.

"Ok…well yeah…ok let's go then." Hardison said taking Parkers hand and leading her back into restaurant area, followed by Eliot who gave Nate a nod as he left.

"Sophie…"

"No apologies Nate. I don't need apologies." Sophie said looking at Nate her brown eyes boring into him.

"No apologies…" Nate said pulling her to her feet and into his body. He bent his head and kissed her softly on the lips. "No apologies…just…just confessions." Nate said kissing her again.

"I love you Sophie…I love you more than you will ever know and I should have told you that a long time ago. I was a coward. I was a fool."

"Oh Nate…" Sophie almost sobbed as she listened to the words that she had longed to hear for so long. This thing they had been doing for two years, this thing that she had gone along with because she had known that Nate was not ready to admit his feelings for her. It was now over; he had admitted it, to her, out loud. He loved her, he loved her and he was not going to leave her.

Nate looked down at her and wiped away the tears from her eyes. "I love you Sophie and I will never leave you again. As long as you want me Sophie, I will be right here…always." Nate whispered to her kissing her gently.

"You just remember that Nathan Ford…don't ever put me through that again…I could not survive it again." Sophie said running her hand through his hair and pulling him down for another passionate kiss.

"Never again my love..." Nate said between kisses. "Never again..."

Well that is the end…I hope you enjoyed the story as much as I enjoyed writing it and that you are satisfied with the ending. Thank you all again for your lovely reviews…they really inspire me to keep writing.