A Muppet's Christmas Carol is the best Christmas film and you can't change my mind!
Callie's POV
After I got home from Arizona's, I realised that I had left my hoodie over there. I'm not stupid, I assume Arizona hasn't returned it so she can wear it as she seems to love wearing my clothes. I wouldn't complain though, seeing her in my clothes does something to me; making me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Plus, when she wears them, she looks adorable with the sleeves falling past her hands and the jumpers or shirts reaching her knees.
The day after Arizona left, a parcel arrived for her. I rang her and when I told her that something had arrived for her, I swear I heard her gulp. That's made me really curious as to what is inside. I've given it a small shake but that hasn't helped me work out what's inside. After shaking it, I felt bad as it's not my parcel, but I can't help but be nosey.
Being alone in the house is so lonely. Everyone has gone home for Christmas and I didn't think I'd miss them this much, especially Arizona. I've never missed someone as much as I miss her now.
Though I am alone, I am not regretting spending Christmas here instead of going home in the slightest. Yes, I am by myself, but I am able to be myself. There is no one calling me by a name that isn't mine or telling me to act a certain way. I'm free.
Today is Christmas day and I've got my whole day planned out. I got to sleep in and have a long shower because there was no one there to steal the hot water. Through online research, I've found an LGBTQ+ friendly church so once I'd eaten my breakfast, I headed off to a Christmas day service. This church was much more relaxed than the one I attended in Miami and everyone was much friendlier and more welcoming. Back home, church was a place where my parents would insist that we all look our best, showing off to everyone; instead of going there to pray and spend time with the people who live near us.
I was practically shaking when I stepped inside the church, though part of that was shivering due to the cold. But when I entered, I was greeted by a friendly woman who asked my name, which caused me to have an internal freak out in case I didn't pass. When she heard my name, she complimented me and introduced me to a few people around my age to sit with.
When the service was over, I felt filled with joy. I'm not the most religious person in the world but I do believe in God and growing up transgender did strain my faith, thinking I couldn't believe in God and by myself. God was the main reason that my parents don't accept me, so I guess it left a negative impression. But going today has given me a new perspective on things
As well as the church, I've found a local LGBTQ+ support group which is only a ten minute walk from my house which I'm going to try and start attending next year. Everyone of my friends are really supportive but it would be really nice to meet people like me.
I sit in front of the television and watch A Muppet's Christmas Carol whilst I cook my roast. It's been my favourite Christmas film since I was little. Wrapped up in my blanket with a hot chocolate I get transported into the film, singing along with the songs word for word.
Just as I'm about to take a bite of a crispy roast potato, my phone rings. Confused, I run to find it, thinking it's Arizona calling me earlier than planned, or maybe Mark or Addie. When I see who is calling, my heart stops and I'm pretty sure that the colour drained from my face. Picking up my phone, I take a seat; stopping my legs from giving up from underneath me.
The phone stops ringing and I'm left in silence. What feels like forever passes before it starts ringing again. Knowing I can't ignore it forever, I take a deep breath and press accept call.
"Andreas?" I hear my father say, and my whole world comes crumbling down around me, I haven't heard that name since I left Miami in the end of August and hit hurts like hell. Feeling as if a knife has been plunged into my chest, I take a deep breath before speaking.
"Yes daddy?" I can barely whisper, my voice trembling.
"Your mother has been asking why you haven't come home for Christmas" He says, straight to the point as always, not even a 'Merry Christmas, how are you?', not that I'm complaining, I want this conversation to be as short as possible.
"You know why Daddy…" I hesitate, not wanting to get into this now.
"But Andreas, it's Christmas" he says, the knife in my chest being twisted with each word. "And Christmas is a time of family. Marcus and Addison are back, we spoke with their parents. Why would you choose to spend Christmas alone instead of with your family?"
"Because you don't accept me for who I am" I say, my voice building with confidence. At my words I can hear him scoff and see his eyes rolling back in his head.
"I thought you'd be too old for this dress up Andreas, you know it's not natural and God will punish you for it if you don't change your ways."
"It's not a phase!" I practically shout down the phone, anger bubbling up inside me like a pot about to boil over. "I've felt like this my whole life and now that I'm at university I can be myself. I'm free daddy and I'm happy. Don't you want me to be happy?"
"I want you to be happy mijo" he says sadly "But I need to see you in heaven. How can I live knowing that I won't see my son in heaven?"
Calming myself, I take a deep breath before speaking "That's because you don't have a son. You have two daughters." I say bravely. I'm not used to arguing with my dad, we just ignore issues, but I can't cope with this treatment any more. I've had enough.
"Your mother gave birth to a handsome son and a beautiful daughter and nothing you do will change that Andreas" he says sternly. "I'll just tell your mother that you are unwell and unable to travel. That should spare her the heart ach of knowing her son is a miscreant and on a sure-fire way to hell."
"You know what" I try to say calmly "Tell her what you want, I don't care anymore. I can't deal with you guys making me feel like utter crap just for being who I am. I told you ages ago how I felt and explained that it was a major reason for why I felt so rubbish, but you guys didn't listen or even try to. So, until you can accept me for who I am, don't contact me again. I can't keep being held back by all your negativity. I have a life to lead. I have amazing friends and a girlfriend who accept and support me and one day I'll be one of the best damn doctors in the country and if you can't accept me then I guess I'll have to do it without you." I pause, taking a breath. "I don't want to do it without you daddy, I'd love to have you and mami in my life, but not if all you bring is negativity. I'm going to enjoy my Christmas day and I hope you enjoy yours. Let me know your decision in a few days if you need time to think" I hang up, not leaving much time for him to respond and burst into tears. Why did this have to happen when I'm all alone?
Without thinking, I text Arizona to see if she is free for a moment for a quick phone call. She says she always eats her Christmas meal reasonably late. I would normally contact Addie or Mark as they know more of what I'm going through but Arizona's voice is so calming to me.
Callie: Zona… Are you able to call? I really need to talk xxx
Within a few minutes, Arizona replied, causing a smile to spread across my face.
Arizona: Sure thing beautiful. Give me a minute to go up to my room and I'll call you xxx
Within a couple of minutes, Arizona's gorgeous face appears on my phone which calms down my breathing.
"Are you ok Calliope?" Her sweet voice dancing down the phone line.
"Not really" I mumble.
"What's happened baby?" she asks softly.
"My—my—my dad phoned" I whisper.
"I take it didn't go well"
"Understatement of the century" I laugh. I need to laugh otherwise the tears will pour down my face and I won't be able to stop.
"What happened?" She asks, pausing slightly "I really wish I was with you. I'd give you a massive hug and then we could eat Christmas dinner together.
"Oh shit…" I realise "My food will be cold now… He's even managed to ruin my Christmas roast" The tears falling down my cheeks.
"Oh sweetie" she says and I pull a cushion up to my chest, imagining myself wrapped up in her arms, her hands brushing soothing patterns down my back and arms. "What did he say?"
"He demanded to know why I wasn't home for Christmas and when I told him that it's because he and my mother won't accept me. He said that he would just tell my mum that I'm ill instead of accepting me. He said that I should stop dressing up and he called me by my birth name and called me his son and I haven't heard that name or male words, apart from the attack, and it hurt so bad" I sob out "I gave him an ultimatum. Accept me or I'm going to cut them out of my life. I gave him a few days to think about it but I'm not hopeful about any change of heart…"
"Give him those few days to think about it ok? Then we can go from there" She says, placing a kiss against her phone.
"Arizona!" I hear someone shout in the background "It's time for lunch!"
"I'm so sorry Calliope but I have to go" she says, her voice filled with disappointment.
"It's ok Zona" I murmur, "Go enjoy your meal with your family. Are we still going to facetime later tonight?"
"Of course we are silly, I miss that beautiful face of yours" she chuckles.
We say our goodbyes before hanging up and once again I'm left alone.
After reheating my roast which resulted in me eating disappointing roast potatoes which had gone a bit soggy. I sit in front of the Christmas tree, festive songs playing in the background as I wrap myself up in a blanket and open my presents. As I'm about to open the first present, my phone vibrates which I find odd as Arizona is eating and Mark and Addie as well as Erica have wished me a merry Christmas. I'm glad I'm sitting down when I see who my text is from because my legs would have definitely given out from underneath me.
Rereading who the text is from, my body fills with anxiety as I open up my phone and read the message.
Aria: Merry Christmas Callie! I'm really sorry that you aren't spending Christmas with us, but I know how painful it will be for you to be back here. I really miss you so I'll have to come visit you some time. Look under your bed! I swear that may sound random, but I sent you a present and Addie put it there for you as a surprise" I hope you like it. I know we haven't been that close, but I would love to change that. I want to let you know that I accept you for who you are, and I love you. You're my big sister and I'm sorry I didn't see it sooner. Anything you need, I'm here for you xxx
I'm actually shocked at the message. Aria was never rude to me about how I dressed and acted growing up, but she was never outwardly accepting but then with our parents it would be hard to be. But this makes my heart swell and my insides feel warm and fuzzy.
I get up and collect the present from under my bed, smiling to myself as I do so. Once back in my nest on the sofa I start to unwrap her present. Inside is a care package filled with facemasks, candles, bubble bath and some nail polish with a note that reads 'take care of yourself – I love you xxx". Another item in the parcel is a fancy brand of foundation with another note: 'this is my favourite foundation and as our skin is the same colour I hope you like it too!". Inside a slim black box is a silver bracelet, identical to the one that Aria was given for her thirteenth birthday. She saw me looking at it on more than one occasion and sometimes I would sneak into her room to put it on myself, imagining that it was mine. I think she knew that I did this but never said anything, just let me spend a few moments enjoying myself. All the note said was "now we match! xxx".
I can't wipe the smile that has spread across my face and take out my phone to text Aria thank you.
Callie: Merry Christmas Aria. Thank you so much for your parcel, it really means a lot to me. So much has already changed in my life and I hope you can come and visit at some point and I can tell you all about it! I hope we can text more regularly, I miss you too. Have a great day and I love you xxx
I'm actually shocked at the message. Aria was never rude to me about how I dressed and acted growing up, but she was never outwardly accepting but then with our parents it would be hard to be. But this makes my heart swell and my insides feel warm and fuzzy.
I get up and collect the present from under my bed, smiling to myself as I do so. Once back in my nest on the sofa I start to unwrap her present. Inside is a care package filled with facemasks, candles, bubble bath and some nail polish with a note that reads 'take care of yourself – I love you xxx". Another item in the parcel is a fancy brand of foundation with another note: 'this is my favourite foundation and as our skin is the same colour I hope you like it too!". Inside a slim black box is a silver bracelet, identical to the one that Aria was given for her thirteenth birthday. She saw me looking at it on more than one occasion and sometimes I would sneak into her room to put it on myself, imagining that it was mine. I think she knew that I did this but never said anything, just let me spend a few moments enjoying myself. All the note said was "now we match! xxx".
I can't wipe the smile that has spread across my face and take out my phone to text Aria thank you.
Callie: Merry Christmas Aria. Thank you so much for your parcel, it really means a lot to me. So much has already changed in my life and I hope you can come and visit at some point and I can tell you all about it! I hope we can text more regularly, I miss you too. Have a great day and I love you xxx
Feeling much more positive than before, I continue to open the rest of my presents, saving the one from Arizona until we facetime later tonight as we both wanted to see each other's reactions as we open the gifts.
From Mark, I got a grow your own plant kit so that I can start to fill my room with plants since we can't have pets in our house it gives me something to look after. It's also part of his idea of self-care which makes me chuckle slightly. He also got me the full series of my favourite manga, death note, in matching covers so they look nice on my bookshelf. Mark, though his two best friends are girls and he loves to try and impress the ladies, isn't very good with buying them gifts. But I'm glad he doesn't try and buy me random feminine things hoping I'd like them and gets me what I like, even if they aren't the most feminine things. It really shows me that he cares about me.
Addie got me a selection of fluffy socks and on the gift tag was 'now you can stop stealing mine! xxx' which brings a smile to my face. She also got me a swear word colouring book, along with a new set of colouring pencils as colouring in calms me down when I get anxious and stressed. The last present I opened from Addie was a fancy make up pallet, including eyeshadow, blush and contour colours. Though the make up I wear isn't anything fancy, it feels nice to know that with this much I can practice a lot and try different styles to see if anything can accentuate my features to make myself look more feminine.
One present I wasn't expecting, was from Erica. Though I had got her a present, a fall out boy flag for her wall as she'd not been allowed them at home and a book she'd mentioned wanting to get for a while and I certainly wasn't expecting one back. When I open it, my heart almost stops and my jaw drops. It's a signed fall out boy poster in a nice frame. I can see exactly where I'm going to put this in my room.
I open another few presents before making myself a hot chocolate and start watching my way through my Christmas DVDs, wrapped up warm in my blanket with my dressing on. Despite my conversation with my dad, this has been my best Christmas so far.
I pause my fifth Christmas film of the day as the sound of Arizona trying to facetime me fills the room. I fumble around trying to find my phone in the dim room. Once found, I waste no time accepting her call so I can see her beautiful face.
"Hey there gorgeous" Arizona's sweet voice fills the room. "Where are you?" She asks, my end dark now that the television is turned off and no lights are on.
"Give me a sec" I start to gather up my presents and head upstairs. "Here we go" I sit down on my bed with my bedroom light turned on as well as a set of coloured fairy lights.
"There's that beautiful face of yours" Arizona says flirtatiously which causes me to blush.
"Stop it" I say, embarrassed. I'm not used to getting compliments from people apart from Addie and Mark. Well, compliments where someone sees me as female and actually for who I am. I love it when Arizona compliments me, it makes me feel so much better about myself as I know she sees me as a woman and that means the world to me.
"So, how was your day Zona?" I ask, just wanting to listen to her voice.
"It was so nice Calliope" She says, a smile on her face so wide that her dimples are present. "So in the morning we all opened our stockings and then ate our breakfast. We then opened our presents and whilst daddy cooked, Tim and I watched Christmas films from our childhood and stuffed our face with chocolate as we do every year. Then I rang you and my day got a whole lot better just by hearing your beautiful voice, even if it wasn't for a good reason… How are you now by the way? Are you feeling better?
"It's honestly been really nice, apart from the phone call with my dad." Arizona hummed in response. "Anyway, what happened for the rest of your day?"
"I then went and ate my bodyweight in roast potatoes and oh god I may regret it tomorrow, but it was so good. Ugh, they were so light and crispy and I swear I ate about ten." She says, making me chuckle before continuing "Then we just played board games and enjoyed spending time with each other. Obviously I beat Tim so that's what is important!" Her smile growing with each word. "What else did you do today?"
"Just opened my presents and watched half a tonne of Christmas films, so I had a great time" I say, returning her smile. "You ready to open presents?" a smirk crossing my lips.
"Is that even a question Calliope?!" She asks, mock offence lacing her voice.
"Oh silly me" I joke "I forgot you were about five years old" to which Arizona just sticks out her tongue, basically proving my point.
We both pick up our presents from the other, unable to hide the smiles that cover our faces. "Open on three?" Arizona asks.
"Sounds good to me.!
"1… 2… 3…" we say at the same time. On three we both start opening our presents, ripping the paper open to see what is inside.
"Oh my god Arizona" I manage to get out "These are beautiful". I can't help a tear from trickling down my cheek as my heart swells with love. Under the wrapping is a beautiful anatomical heart pin badge in blue, pink and white: the colours of the transgender flag. It's a subtle way of saying I'm transgender, a way of showing pride without being over the top and I love it. In another box is another beautiful item, this one a necklace with a small flower pendant, with purple gems as petals, on a slim silver chain. "Thank you so much, Arizona" I gush, more tears falling down my cheeks like a stream becoming a river.
"Don't cry baby" Arizona says, drawing her eyes away from her present. "I don't like it when you cry"
"I'm crying with happiness, silly" I giggle, wiping the tears away from my eyes. "I'm crying because both things are so beautiful"
"I was worried you wouldn't like them, but I'm over the moon that you do" She says, blowing a kiss at the camera which I catch and press against my lips.
"Thank you so much for the Heelys, Calliope" Her smile growing even bigger as she takes them out of the box. "OH MY GOD CALLIOPE! THESE ARE AMAZING!" she practically screams, her voice a few pitches higher than usual.
When I was out one day, I saw a pair of Heelys and they instantly made me think of Arizona. They are fun and carefree. I bought her a pink pair with glitter on them, a pair that screams Arizona.
"You'll have to help me learn how to use them" her body practically vibrating with joy.
Before I can respond, I hear her parents call up to her. She calls back to them, explaining that she was facetiming me. It sounds like they ask if they can meet me, and from her response, she is right. She yells back that she wants them to meet me face to face, saying it's only around a week away.
Both of us change into our pyjamas, her long blonde hair tied in two loose french plaits, strands of hair framing her pale face. My hair, though longer than it was when we first met, is still no where near the length I'd like it to be. It's at the stage where it looks awful but I need to keep it so that it will grow out. I'm just glad that it grows out quickly so it shouldn't be this awful for long! Earlier today I put a small plait in it, making me feel closer to Arizona. Sounds silly I know, but it helped. We sit, crossed legged, our phones propped up and just talk. We talk about what we each got for Christmas, about Aria contacting me and start to plan things that we can do when I go to visit. I am still torn about if to travel by train, and have the journey take three times as long, at least, or to risk taking the plane and going through airport security and risk getting discriminated against if I don't present myself as male. My passport says that I am male, though I am working on getting it changed, but it has my name down as Calliope Iphegenia Torres which is my legal name. So I know it will cause confusion and I've seen what happens to some transgender people who go through airport security. Arizona says that there are still plenty of seats on flights as well as train tickets, so I still have time to decide and she'll support whatever decision I make.
I can see Arizona's slightly erect nipples through the thin material of her pyjama shirt and as well as having the most gorgeous view down her shirt, both of which make me catch my breath. I know she can see slightly down my top every time I lean forwards as my top is reasonably low and I'm not wearing a bra. I can see the effect that this has on her as her eyes have darkened slightly which makes me feel more confident. As we talk, we start to flirt, getting more and more suggestive as the night goes on.
Before either of us realise, it is two in the morning and tiredness starts to take over our bodies. If we weren't as tired, I am almost sure that we would end up having skype sex. Well… facetime sex… Which I am not ready for and I don't want her first time seeing me over the internet. But how I want to see her naked. I'm sure that the images in my head will be nothing compared to seeing her in person.
"Well, I had better get to sleep" I say, sadness in my voice. I don't want to leaver her but I know we must.
"Unfortunately" she pouts, looking absolutely adorable.
"But we'll call again tomorrow?" I say quickly, trying to bring a smile to her face "Well, technically today" I chuckle.
My words bring a smile to her beautiful face and I'm so glad that I am the one able to make her smile.
"We'll speak in the evening again?" She asks and when I nod she sticks out her pinky finger "Promise?"
Holding up my pinky finger, I smile at her reassuringly "I promise"
"I guess that means we have to say goodnight"
"I'm afraid it does"
We say our goodnights, blow kisses at each other and hang up. My body feels warm and fuzzy inside and I've never felt anything like this before; but I know that I'm falling in love with Arizona.
Sorry for the delay in update, I had assignments due and an exam. Got a few days off so I'm going to try and write as much as I can.
Should Callie take the plane or the train?
Please feel free to leave reviews - they mean a lot :D