A/N: Special thanks to my beta TimelessMystery!
I do not own South Park or "Stan's Song" from the movie, all rights reserved to Trey Parker and Matt Stone.
XXI. Stan- Summer
In which Stan laments, "There's my friend that I love"
The moment I heard Boyett got blown up, I felt a huge weight lift off my chest, making my sigh of relief feel like a lifeline.
The only downside?
The force of an even bigger weight continued to increase with every moment spent with Kyle.
At this point I'm amazed my stomach hasn't burst from all the fucking butterflies.
I've been breathing more often to keep myself cool so I don't keep flying off the handle every time Rebecca comes up. I mean she's probably an ok human being, but what the fuck makes her so special? I mean aside from hospital volunteer crap, she's just some brainiac who doesn't completely understand sarcasm or how to talk to people in general. Other than that, there've still been moments where it's just the two of us, like always.
Its almost like things aren't too different. Sure, he does spend about half his time with Cotswolds, but we still sleep over at each other's places and shit. Though, whenever that happens I always find myself torn between staying up and watching him sleep; being completely at peace, or wrapping my arms around him, letting myself fall asleep to the rhythm of his breathing, the sound of his heartbeat... It's not like he'd suspect anything there... We've woken up from these sleepovers before with one of us sprawled over the other or grabbing onto the other before. But he'd freak out if I got morning wood from it or some shit...
In the end I resort to watching him sleep until I feel my eyes get heavy from looking at his thin lips, fighting the temptation to press my own lips against them.
"Stan."
"What?" The disturbance nearly made me jump as I found myself sucked out of the movie we had been watching on Kyle's laptop when it was hot as hell outside.
He paused the middle of an intense battle sequence, moving his laptop to the other end of the bed before pulling in his long legs. After biting his lip and looking at the ceiling for a few moments he turned to me, "I know you don't like talking about it, and that you're probably still getting over Wendy, but... I kinda need your help... I'm gonna ask Rebecca to homecoming when school resumes."
I forced a lump down my throat. I wasn't going to let him see I was choking up as my left hand clutched the sheet and I said, "I-I mean... me and Wendy didn't go to homecoming 'cause of my birthday overlapping, but aside from CD mixes, I remember getting Elton John to sing that song I wrote for her when we were eight... It was during that concert thing we did for Chef…"
"Oh yeah, Chef."
We stayed quiet for a few moments as soon as Kyle made note of that detail.
"I definitely coulda used Chef's advice in this point in my life... If only it weren't for that damn cult."
Suddenly, I felt Kyle's long fingers on my shoulders, turning to face me with the look he gets when Cartman takes a sick day from class.
"Stan! I think you just gave me an idea!"
Forcing a laugh, I smirked, "Don't tell me you're gonna write another shit song and call her fox,"
"Okay dude, that was a long time ago! And I thought it made sense to call her a fox at the time because I overheard my parents..." His face turned red as he put his face in his hands when the horrifying realization of what he probably heard dawned on him.
"That's not important! I guess it's just that if I am gonna go that direction, I could use your help... I mean again I know you and Wendy broke up so I guess I can understand why you're not very..."
"There's nothin' I wouldn't do for you man, you know that." I clutched the sheet closer against my chest. I began cursing myself for letting the words fall from my mouth, but the smile on his face made that regret go away, if only for a split second. A shiver went down my spine when I felt his hand touch my shoulder once more, hoping I wasn't blushing or anything like that. Before I knew it, I was pulled into a hug... Something Kyle doesn't initiate too often...
"Thanks Stan, I love you dude."
My heart began to twist, to the point of breaking in two, with those words playing in an eternal loop in my head.
Those same words ended up being the soundtrack of the dream I had that night: where he had his arms around me as I kissed him softly like we had all the time in the world and passionately like it was the end of the world…and he kissed me like I was the only living thing that still mattered. I only wished to melt into him more and more. As soon as he was deeply asleep, I let myself shed silent tears.
Not long after Kyle went home the next morning, I swiped two cans of Budweiser, and went back up to my room to drink myself into my own world where Kyle's words ran deeper than they did, and I'd be able to say it back the only way I could ever mean it.
"There's my friend that I love... Now it appears that he loves someone else. It must be because she's super smart like him, but I was the one always there for him."