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Vancouver International Airport
Barney was waiting for their suitcases while Robin went to the restroom. The carousel hadn't started to turn yet, so he still had some time.
His thoughts started wandering, something he had been trying to avoid all day. He wished he had done things differently, starting with the faithful visit to the Belize strip club more than two months ago that started everything.
Belize Two Months Prior
Barney had paid CC an ample amount of cash so she would stay quite and tell everyone the crazy sex stories they wanted to hear before he sneaked out the back. He lit a cigarette and watched a straying cat go through the dumpsters behind the strip club.
He blew out the smoke and wondered what Robin was doing right now, she had probably met the gang at McLarens. She usually did when he was away on a business trip. It bothered him a little, yes Ted and him weren't getting along anymore and all five of them hanging out had become a rare occasion, but why hang out with Ted when you didn't have to?
He trusted her and believed her that there were no lingering feelings towards Ted anymore, yet, it still bothered him. Ted would seize an opportunity to hook up with Robin any day, and even if she didn't have feelings for him anymore, he had seen her do really stupid things while drunk.
He pulled his phone out and started typing,
Just wanted to wish u a good night! Love you!
He starred at the text for a minute and finally added,
Sexting after McLarens?
He hit send and put his cell phone away, grinning like a five year old in a candy store. He knew what her answer would be, and he also knew that she would excuse herself rather quickly from the group.
"Barney! What are you doing out here?" Russell's loud voice startled him.
"Oh hey Russell…just a postcoidal cigarette." Barney grinned, "want one?"
"I'd love one."
Barney lit the cigarette for him.
"I make you an offer." Russell suddenly said, looking over his shoulder as to make sure that no-one had followed him.
"I can fix the screwed up contract for you. Before the day in court next month."
Barney raised an eyebrow, "I am listening."
"It'll cost you something though." Russell blew out the smoke.
"If you can tweak all documents to be in our favor before the trial, I'll make sure you will be financially secured." Barney offered while thinking that his luck had definitively turned, and that this was almost too easy.
Vancouver Present Time
In retrospect it had been too easy. Russell had never expected him to default on his end of the bargain, and he certainly hadn't expected Barney to tip him off.
The carousel started turning and Barney started to pay attention again. He noticed a girl that could have been Katy. He knew he had only met her a little over a year ago but he wasn't good at recognizing people.
She looked like she could be Robin's sister though; but then again, any 17-year-old brunette could be as far as he was concerned. It's not like Robin and her sister really looked that similar.
"Oh look, there is Katy!" He hadn't even noticed that Robin had come back.
She walked towards the girl he had been looking at, waving excitingly until the girl recognized her as well.
Barney watched them hug before turning back and finally getting their suitcases.
"You remember Barney, right?" Robin asked, she had her arm around Katy's shoulders and the girl nodded.
"Yeah, of course, you were trying to talk me into having sex."
Barney laughed, "that sure sounds like me."
He noticed Robin rolling her eyes and added, "but seriously, wait until you get married."
"Like you two did?" Katy asked impudently.
Barney grinned and hoisted the suitcases onto a Smartcart.
"I can't believe you two are married! Mom said you got married over a year ago! Were you already hooking up when I visited you? Is that why you wouldn't say 'I love you' to Ted?" Apparently Katy had a lot of questions and wasn't afraid to ask them.
"And what the hell happened to your face?" she finished.
"Slow down Missy." Robin stopped her while laughing.
"Yes, Barney and I realized that we were more than friends while I was still dating Ted, but nothing happened until after we broke up. As a matter of fact, Barney and I didn't have sex until our wedding night."
"Oh come on, no-one believes that." Katy rolled her eyes, "and btw, I already had sex, so you can stop your anti-sex campaign."
"Too much information." Robin frowned.
"It's actually true." Barney jumped in.
Katy starred at both of them, clearly waiting for the punch line.
"Don't look at me like that," Robin nudged her little sister.
"You two are the last persons on the face of the earth who would wait to have sex. There was something else going on, right? STDs?"
The comment made Barney laugh.
"Oh I know what happened! You got drunk and/or high in Vegas and eloped without recollection of it. Then when you woke up the next morning you figured, what's the harm and…"
"Katy, stop that. Don't cheapen this. Barney and I weren't drunk when we got married, this isn't just a random fling, we are going to spend the rest of our lives together." Robin interfered.
Katy looked to Barney, clearly expecting a comment from him, but he simply nodded.
"But you both have commitment phobias." Katy pointed out.
"Not with each other we do." Barney said, while putting the brakes on the smartcard and walking up to the car rental counter.
"I am still baffled by all this. I mean marriage? What happened to, 'I never want to get married'?" Katy asked.
"You'll understand one day." Robin countered, while stroking her sisters hair.
"Oh please, now you just sound like mom. Who by the way isn't very pleased about your martial status either."
"I've noticed." Her mom's reaction to the marriage hadn't been very supportive.
"Why Barney? I mean no offense, but he seemed like kind of a douche when I met him last time."
Robin smiled, "he's not, trust me."
"Well I'd assume so, after all you are married to him." Katy shrugged.
Robin nodded, "yep, I lucked out."
And she meant it, things could have turned out a lot different. She had gambled her future on the assumption that Barney was a decent guy underneath all the whoring around and insults.
She hadn't quite expected him to be a perfect gentleman who made her laugh, and gave her butterflies every time she saw him. She certainly hadn't expected to be so deeply in love with him, and treat this marriage as if it was a real one.
"But, tell me more about your new boyfriend." Robin finally turned back to Katy.
…
Barney was fidgeting with his pants, he couldn't believe how nervous he was.
Katy was telling Robin about her schoolyear and her plans for College and life in general but he was barely listening and instead starred out the window.
Robin had said that it would take them a good hour to get to her parents house, they'd been on the road for nearly 50 minutes which meant that it couldn't be much further.
He felt Robins hand on his thigh and looked over, she was smiling reassuringly while stroking his leg.
"Don't worry," she mouthed.
"Please" Barney replied weakly.
Why was this such a big deal? They were already married, so he didn't need the approval of her parents. Besides, Robin wasn't exactly close to her family anyways, so it really didn't matter to her what her mom would think of him.
He thought back to the day that he had introduced Robin to his mom. He had barely slept the night before because he really wanted his mom to like Robin and vice versa.
He swallowed and tried to remind himself that he was wearing an awesome suit. He was good at first impressions, it would be okay.
Yet, nothing was really helping.
"Here we are." Robin said as she turned on the turn signal.
Barney noticed that the snow was even higher out here than in Vancouver. He wondered whether or not the roads were slippery. If so, Robin had done an excellent job driving because he hadn't noticed them skid at all.
The house was much bigger than he had expected. The entire property was. He briefly wondered what Robin's dad did for a living. She had told him during the flight that her mom had gotten the house after the divorce, which to Barney's surprise didn't go through until Robin was 20, even though her parents had split seven years prior.
Katy had already jumped out but Barney hesitated for a second,
"jeez, you are really nervous, aren't you?" Robin asked.
He shrugged, "it's… I want her to like me."
Robin smiled and got out of the car. Barney followed suit and helped her with the suitcases.
Katy had already unlocked the front door and two dogs came out to greet them.
"You didn't tell me your mom had dogs, what are their names?" Barney asked while he let one of them sniff his hands.
"I… I don't know." Robin said.
"Wow, it really has been a long time since you visited, huh?" he realized.
She shrugged and pushed past him. The foyer was huge and Barney gazed up the large staircase in awe.
How had it never come up that Robin had grown up in a house like this? He wondered.
"Robin!" Barney spun around, a middle-aged woman was heading towards them.
She pulled Robin into a tight hug before letting go, and taking a closer look at her daughter.
"Wow, you look too skinny Robin. Have you developed an eating disorder? They say all people on TV do eventually."
"Mom, this is Barney." Robin interrupted her, pointing towards Barney.
"Barney Stinson, it's a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Scherbatsky." Barney said extending his hand towards her.
"Nice to meet you too Barney Stinson." Her mom replied.
An awkward silence took over, but Robin broke it rather quickly.
"Katy said you made us poutine? I don't think Barney ever had that."
"You are kidding." Her mom replied, "have you never been to Canada before?"
Robin took her coat off and reached out to take his as well, "well, never with a Canadian."
"Well come on through." Her mom lead the way.
Robin grabbed his hand as they followed her, slightly bumping into him when she whispered that everything was going fine.
Katy had already helped herself to a plate and was sitting at the kitchen table.
"We have guests Katy."
"Oh come on, it's just Barney, he doesn't mind, right?" Katy looked up.
"'Course not." Barney replied, he was a little lost in the large kitchen and was glad to feel Robin when she wrapped both arms around his.
"Right, you two have met. Katy was really impressed by the Empire State Building, it's so nice that you took the day off to teach her about the architectural background."
Barney swallowed, oh great.
"That wasn't Barney, mom." Katy corrected her.
"What? You said Robin's boyfriend did."
Robin and Barney's eyes met and she frowned a little before she said, "I was still dating someone else when Katy visited us."
"Oh…" Her mom seemed a little surprised by that.
"But she was already smitten for Barney." Katy teased.
"Barney, what do you do for a living?" Mrs. Scherbatsky changed the subject.
"I work for a bank." Barney replied diplomatic.
"I figured, you seem like that kind of guy with the suit and all."
Barney wasn't sure if that was a good thing.
"You never told me what happened to your face." Katy asked again.
Barney swallowed and looked at Robin for support, and she jumped in, "you know what happened. We got into that fight last week."
"I thought that was a gunfight."
"Well yeah, but not from the get-go." Robin's realized that her lie wasn't that good, but no one seemed to catch it.
"Well, I am glad you two are fine." Mrs. Scherbatsky said, while placing the plates on the table.
"Me too." Barney said while sitting down.
Robin nodded, "yeah, I don't know what I would do without this guy." She let her fingers run through his hair.
"See that's just nauseating." Katy commented.
Robin shrugged and sat down herself, "no Katy, that's true love…and something like this shooting makes you realize that you can't live without the other person."
Barney and her eyes met, and he swallowed hard.
This was wrong. His entire plan was cruel. He shouldn't have proposed this trip. He should make the next week horrible, he should cheat on her and let her catch him; he should be insincere and a total jackass.
Love meant putting the other ahead of oneself, yet he was completely selfish. He wanted this week to be the happiest of his life. He wanted to spend every second with Robin, he wanted to make her smile, and laugh, and just deliriously happy.
The brutal awakening would come soon enough. And maybe it was cruel of him not to push her away now, to not make what would happen easier on her. But he'd been selfish his entire life, why stop now? Besides, at least later Robin could think back to their last week together with a smile.
Yeah, he liked that thought.