Eyes that see into Infinity

Part 2

Chapter Twenty

/

India, days continued...

Things were getting stirred up in the land now without a king. The men were becoming troubled and unorganized. It was only normal to behave like the way they were. They were pretty much left in India without their main guide, just clueless. They did not know what to do or how to rule themselves without Alexander there with them giving them hope, not like he was much help to them either, in his coma. They couldn't be blamed for being dissapointed in this unfair circumstance, mostly because their entire lives they were dependent on someone else to rule them and they were just sheep following the rest of the herd. It reminded them of Alexander's comment to them a long time ago, when they were about to ditch him in India and head without him back to Babylon, it suddenly making sense, him telling them that he was a lion leading an army of sheep. It wasn't arrogant as much as it was true and they were coming to realize that.

It made sense with the whole quote. They were indeed stronger being led by a leader who knew how to rule, lead, and build. Would they have all that they have if Alexander hadn't been the lion leading them to it? Probably not.

Even the generals were undecided about what there next step should be and completely frantic. The king was still missing and it's been days. Hephaistion was still gone to go after the missing king and it's been days. Cassander and a few others were trying to convince the men that they should leave without Alexander and that became a day debate which didn't work out to well. With enough discussion and rebellion, the generals shared their second thoughts but Cassander was the one not feeling any guilt about his proposal and it was getting harder and harder to reason with him.

After Craterus came back to camp with the news that he had spotted Hephaistion along the way, the generals knew it would be cruel to just take off leaving them both behind. There were enough men against it and some more than others willing to keep searching and this kept them from deserting the mysterious dangerous land sooner.

That was one of the many men's concerns about this unpredictability that seems to follow in the kings path. They were stranded in the wild, left behind. There were dangerous animals that they've never even heard of, not to mention many of the men have died instantly from the snake bites. So what would happen if they linger there much longer? Anything could happen and one of Cassander's concerns was if the intruders who kidnapped the king were to return. The idea of hanging around was stupid he felt.

There were many conspiracies boasting among the people. Some thought the king woke up from his coma and abandoned them to go learn and stay with the Indians. It wasn't an odd assumption considering Alexander found different cultures very interesting and would probably leave to learn more about them. After all there was nothing better to the king than being loved and accepted by all… but would he have left his men in danger just for that? The other conspiracy was that the king set it up to make it seem like the gods were behind his resurrection from his sickly nap and that his purpose was to create a myth and story for himself. He did talk about how big he wanted to be remembered and what he wanted to be remembered for…but is this how he wanted his time as king respected? And would he really leave Hephaistion, his best friend, behind in agony and abandon him while he flocked off into his own journey and selfish fantasy? It was blunt but healthy to assume that Hephaistion was his selfish fantasy and leaving him was probably not likely.

And some simply thought he was taken by an enemy, which was safe to assume considering the footprints leading to his tent and the blood from the dead guards or maybe even Alexander himself, but there was still no word.

Cassander was sitting at a desk with candles lit around him while he was thinking. The only other thing he was aware of was the winds outside and the warm light brightening up his pale face. He was just getting dry from after his meeting with Craterus before sending him off to go watch the queen at her quarters.

It wasn't like the men would allow him to lead them anyway but he decided not to leave until the king or either Hephaistion were found. The men of course agreed and Ptolemy when learned about the change in plans was seriously relieved. Craterus was also opposed to insulting the king by leaving mainly because Alexander he could call best friend. It was hard to think Alexander who is normally unstoppable was dead somewhere in an unfamiliar land he had not yet conquered accordingly and that Hephaistion could be right behind him. Craterus seemed to fail at making it clear to Hephaistion that the land was bigger than them and there was no way he would find Alexander solo, but the stubborn general refused to listen and took off anyway. The other generals seemed to lose hope that there might not be any turning back for either of them but they waited in despair anyway.

It disgusted the mean eyed general how much agreeing to stay put in position which Alexander would have wanted them to stay in anyway, made it seem like he cared about Hephaistion's and Alexander's current situation. For all he cared they could rot in the likes of the muddy dirty land. It wasn't like he had any feelings for either of them anyway or was turning soft on everyone, but he was reminded by the other generals who were most loyal to the king that Alexander would have never left him behind or any of his men, even the ones who seem to have little purpose in his army. And even though they were sitting ducks, there wasn't much to look forward too anyway. They've been away from home for so long and Alexander had already dragged them around the entire earth, so going home was just as pointless as dreaming about going home. Home was everywhere to the king and sadly India was going to be another place they could call a place to stay.

As he sat strictly focused, in his head he wants to let them both, the king and his lover, suffer in pointless love and that the lucky bastard of a king should die for what he did to Cleitus, Parmenion and Philotas, his own friends and also for not letting his men who were tired of the travels and battles, turn back to Macedon and to their families. But his heart wants them to return back safely because if he were lost, he would want someone to do what Alexander and Hephaistion would do for each other. The reason why he was being so hateful was obvious. He didn't have that special someone.

Cassander wasn't completely heartless and even if he played the part, it was all just a barricade securing his true feelings. But one thing was certain about the mean eyed general. He was jealous and his jealousy came in many different tones and appearances. Some loud, some silent.

He's known Alexander for a long time and he still couldn't figure out if the king was just a lucky bastard or just a gifted son of a bitch. Maybe he was born with a gift of luck. It made sense involving a son of a god but it didn't matter because Alexander already had it all and he wasn't even close to being at his peak. He was such a massive figure in everyone's life it was hard not to recognize what he had. Talented. Hard working. Generous. Charismatic. Brave. Determined. Smart. Out of the ordinary...No one in their right mind would deny any of this. The king was definitely a strong spirited personality, the most vibrant energy anyone has ever witnessed and he might as well not be a real human at all because he was so obviously above everyone else. It's not that it was his intention but it was existent nonetheless and that was a problem for Cassander and many others, even though Cassander made it most applicable.

The green eyed general knew Alexander had a great heart, as big as the heart of the earth but he also felt Alexander's heart was misplaced sometime down the road with something called fame and misguided glory. He felt he was a greedy, lucky drunkard who conquered for the sake of conquering and for no real purpose other than glory and for himself while dragging his father's men along with him not caring about how they felt or their desires. The glory part was true. The fame part definitely true. The other parts were still trying to be figured out by the rest of the world. Alexander was probably still trying to figure it out himself, but Cassander did know that there was only one person who had already figured the king out and this was the event that began his expressed hatred of the beauty Hephaistion.

He looked back on the time when they were of very young ages when he had asked Hephaistion in private why he found Alexander so attractive... but before he could remember the answer and dig further into concentration, the general was interrupted from his thoughts when Ptolemy strolled into the tent quietly, pushing the flap out of his way. The general was soaking from the horrible storms that India had been bestowing upon them lately.

They've been there for awhile, since before the battle and many weeks after, so they were already familiar with the wet weather, but it was turning unusual and Ptolemy wondered if this was a sign of anger from the gods or just normal weather for India and they were just still further naïve about the land. This would have been the perfect time to assume Alexander was blessed by the mighty heavens, because the rains being this heavy only started after he was taken and haven't forgiven anyone yet. Besides they probably have never seen as much lightning and water before in their lives. It was storming like Poseidon had brought his oceans to the mainland and Zeus perhaps was showing his wrath for his missing son.

"Anyone confess to it yet?"

"Not one." The curled haired general was tired, eyes heavy while wiping the water from his face. "It's becoming useless. No ones going to confess. Not now."

Cassander sighed and sat back. "If someone pulled the slightest attempt on the king there is not telling that this army could also very well be in danger. This is why we should leave these lands."

Ptolemy felt saddened that sooner or later they might not have a choice but to, and nodded slightly. "I agree, but you know the men won't. They'll lose even more hope."

"Hope was lost in the men a long time ago Ptolemy." Cassander answered with an amount of no interest and went back to his restless state.

Ptolemy frowned. "Well I will not continue to punish these people, Alexander's own fucking men and for what?"

"What would you rather do Ptolemy?" Cassander replied angrily. "Sit around waiting for his return like fucking mindless apes. Maybe someone knows and maybe that person will tell. Or maybe this is the best time to pray to the gods we believe in so much for his safe return then? But it's Alexander. I'm sure he's being well looked after." His comment was supposed to be intentionally sarcastic but he didn't even need to try to get the point across to the older general. He already knew where Cassander stood when it came to Alexander.

"You know I care for Alexander but punishing the men for something we don't know they've committed is wrong. I say we divide the men, some go searching, some stay here incase anything is to happen."

"We've already searched. And you're going to stand there and tell me what's right and wrong?! Because let me remind you, that king of yours killed Parmenion and Philotas. There were no such conspiracies leading to them but he ordered them dead anyway!" Cassander turned furious unexpectedly.

"I knew you would bring that up." Ptolemy shook his head trying to hold off a laugh that disagreed. "It was a threat against his life. There didn't even need to be evidence of a conspiracy because it was right there before his fucking eyes. Poison right in his face."

Cassander stood yelling his eyes drowned in ferocity. "Threat? It was no threat. His mind was filled with poisonous snakes and strong wine and turned everyone who ever protected him into enemies than friends. So tell me am I wrong about how I feel Ptolemy? I've never mourned in my life until Alexander became our king. Is what he did not wrong or is Alexander just this magnificent being we should all fall to our knees for!? He disgraces the gods and you people bow before him."

Ptolemy glared in shock at his ill advised friend. "Would you listen to this absurdity of what you spout. Alexander was not the same Alexander we've known Cassander and you know that. We're not even the same anymore."

"I wonder why." Cassander spat. "Alexander has been obsessed and distant of his men, and more alert of his life.."

"As he should be." Ptolemy interrupted. "He has every reason and right. You and I both know Philotas planned Alexander's death."

"It's a lie." The younger general was quick to deny.

"We were there, all of us, while Parmenion and he plotted ideas against him. They told us how they felt after Guagamela and we didn't say anything because we respected their opinion as friends and companions Cassander. How is what I say a lie when it was before us every day when we were pushed more and more away by the king. We were all feeling the same way about Alexander. Even I, thought he would be best off dead, not because I hated him but because I felt he was destroying himself and that he would be disappointed after seeing what he became. I couldn't watch Alexander look at himself as a failure when all he ever wanted to do was succeed. He saw the hate we had for him. He ignored it at first. We were stupid to let it get that far and I warned all of you about Alexander's temper. Even if Alexander didn't find them suspicious, the fact of the matter is we were betraying him the minute we stepped foot out of Babylon." Ptolemy walked up closer to the silenced Cassander who was glaring now. "What I don't like is how you can pass so much judgment on Alexander's faults as king when he doesn't even care to recognize your faults at all. He is not a bad man Cassander. What he did to his friends was unforgivable but he knows that and he hates himself for what he had to do. We don't have it hard at all. He does because he has to live with that. We hardly shed any tears after the assassinations were ordered. Do you remember that? Alexander shed so many that he was trying to hurt himself and drown himself in self pity hoping he'd either die or fall asleep. So don't pretend you really cared about the others."

Cassander scoffed head strongly. "They were our friends, people we worked with all our lives. I don't have to shed a tear to show that I care."

"You're showing that most graciously. I remember you smirking when the spear flung through Philotas's stomach."

"It doesn't matter how I feel about Philotas but again we worked side by side at times and I had to respect him. But a king is a king and his people should come first and just because they were planning to kill Alexander ahead of that time doesn't mean they gave him the poison in his cup that time. That could have been anyone. Where would they have found the poison in a land they are not familiar with? I doubt they brought it from home and keep it hidden that well."

"It doesn't matter where they got it. What matters is that the ones who gave him the cup pointed to Philotas as their plot leader. You would have done the same thing if you felt the people you had working for you were actually working against you. Unfortunately for them it worked in Alexander's favor. And you need to remember who killed Phillip, someone very close to him. So don't expect him to favor his friends who can't even keep loyal to him."

The mean eyed general stared General Ptolemy in the eyes. "Okay so we're not all fans of what Alexander's become." He finally went out and admitted.

"You were never a fan of him."

"Well I pity those who are."

"Why do you want to be king so bad?"

"I don't want to be king. I just don't want Alexander to be king." He said clearly making no mistake about it. "And you're right, I was never a fan of Alexander and the same could be said for him. That he was never a fan of me."

They looked at each other for awhile, with Cassander looking away first sitting back down and Ptolemy stayed put sadly dissapointed at the generals ignorance. He sighed seeing a distant sadness behind Cassander's eyes. He obviously wanted to be left alone but he also wanted him to understand.

"What's he done to you?" The curled haired man asked before getting ready to leave.

"You mean what he hasn't done." Cassander retorted quickly his eyes burning up like the flames around him.

Ptolemy just sulked and left the tent quickly, not surprised knowing all this time Cassander was envious of the fiery haired god who would be king of the world. Cassander spoke the truth though. He didn't care about being king at all. He just cared about being greater than Alexander and having everything Alexander had and more. To have it all…

Including Hephaistion.

Three months swept by us quickly as if time meant nothing and after I told Phai about my problem, we grew closer, yet apart, but giving ourselves to each other more than before. We were closer because we could be. Mostly in mind and soul. In physical contact we were still close, still neighbors, still friends, still in love, but reality didn't give us the time to each other that let's say... a normal couple, a girl and guy would have. It was harder because one, after I told Phai about my issue, he wanted to help out as much as he could and stupid me I kept pushing him away because I felt a mix of pride and a mix of guilt. Hard guilt. Bad guilt, because if I let him help me and if I ended up dying anyway, that would hurt him. I would die and leave him with nothing. What kind of lover would I be if I gave him hope where there was none. I didn't think these were bad reasons and at the time I didn't realize I was even doing it but they were reasons he didn't understand or I couldn't explain well enough. That wasn't the only issue between us. It was also hard for us because we still didn't make anything official between us yet. We never claimed to be boyfriends. We never claimed anything. We just were. No one had really figured out what was happening between us as far as I knew and that's one of the main reasons we did keep our distance, incase they were to figure us out, something Phai didn't want for some reason but something I didn't care to exploit if he was okay with it.

So I was pushing him away in fear of his future and he was pushing me away in fear of my future. So it kind of worked both ways.

Aside from that there were changes and some things that stayed the same concerning everyone's personal lives.

Starting with me, my parents were still split up. My dad was still a complete asshole. Almost everyday now he would kick me out a lot because he needed time with his new girlfriend, Euri. They seemed pretty serious as far as their relationship was going which only made my situation all that much harder. I hated her simply because she was annoying and she wasn't mom. Speaking of my mother, he hadn't called her or mentioned her once to me and I knew they were over with permanently and that they would never get back together and hoping for that made me a fucking stupid child. I still don't know why I thought that was ever possible. Maybe because I looked at Phai's relationship with his happily married parents and realized that's what I need because once you get to know me further and one thing I discovered in those three months is that I feared my dad that one day I would become exactly like him.

And later on I do. And you'll hate me for it. Phai did.

But as far as now goes I sharpened up a whole lot. I was doing so well in school I might have not even been the shy boy I once was. I was still going to the gym constantly. My charm turned on the ladies and freshmen girls even more. What can I say I was good looking. Been told that by my mother since I was in first grade. I didn't believe it then but now I do because Phai has a say in it now but I was probably more popular than I should have been and Phai hated it. He wasn't shy about telling me but I liked it because I never felt it before, never felt what it wa slike to be liked by all, so I encouraged it. My naive mind didn't know it was bad but I never felt so good in my life. Phai warned me plenty of times that it would bite me in the ass. He even hated that I joined the football team after my transfer because Cassy and I were like a ticking competing time bomb. Yes I got overconfident with myself. Proud. Hotheaded. But who wouldn't when you were liked by all. Who wouldn't when you have little time on the earth? How could I not when that is what I was destined to be. A king.

/

I think the men deny my chance to be their ruler. How do you think I am as a king?

The blonde man follows his lover around the Persian halls to pest him about little things.

I think you worry too much. The general calmly strolls ahead of him.

Maybe I should make it a law that says as long as you're under my command you should let me know how I am as king.

I didn't think you were this insecure Alexander. They would lie to you in fear of your response to what they feel or think.

Why is that? The king asks dumbly.

The brunette thinks it's ridiculous, insane and gorgeous that he has to ask that question. They reach the king's quarters and his general closes the door and presses his lips against the kings in a loving kiss. The king is shocked and the brunette stares at him.

Because Alexander although I think you're a wonderful king, I also think you're ruthless at times, reckless and stupid most of the time, childish when you're not getting your way and you deserve a long spanking for some of your behavior. Some people just don't understand you the way I do and that can be scary for me, and scary for them. People are afraid of things they don't understand.

Well why am I stupid?

I call you stupid because you don't seem to let it bother you when it really matters. You care too much about what people think of you rather than what you should concentrate on.

Are you saying I'm in danger and that I don't know my own people? He grins stupidly and shoves his lover to the bed.

Phai smiles and lets the blonde place his body on top of his. Alexander you know you're in danger all the time just for being king. I shouldn't have to explain that to you.

Am I in danger right now? He starts to lay smooches on his lover's cheek and neck making him laugh.

Alexander this is exactly what I mean by childish and reckless. The brunette lets out a sounded purr when the king's teeth start nibbling at his ear. Stop Alexander. He means it but doesn't mean it at all.

Why? Am I being too reckless? Do you feel like you're in danger? He says sexily in his sexual attempt. His rough fingers curl strands of his lovers hair.

The general grabs the sheets when the king slips his wet lips down his exposed stomach and to his hips. At the moment you're just being childish. What if someone was sneaking up behind you with a blade? You wouldn't know.

The king stops from moving further down and looks up at seriously driven blue eyes. He sighs grunting under his breath. The king removes from his friend's body turning away from his lover and sits looking straight ahead. I know how to take care of myself. I'm perfectly capable of it. Why are you talking to me like I don't know what I'm doing?

Because I'm your fucking bodyguard young man. The general leans up and places a sweet kiss on the king's shoulder. How can I do my job if you don't let me? I understand that you can take care of yourself; any grown adult can say that. I can say that but it's also not true. You push the people closest to you away when you become reckless because you think you can handle the danger and it thrills you to think that you can overcome everything by yourself. You can't do everything by yourself that's just madness. You can't assume either that all the people you rule like you, even your dearest friends and family. One day you will not even know the difference between an enemy and friend because your life will be at risk constantly. But I want you to know that I will never betray you Alexander even if it meant that you didn't love me anymore. I know your heart. It's young, brave and naïve but it's beating strong like the battles you've fought are rampaging over and over again. Your heart is so fierce, so brilliant and passionate that I naturally feel empty and hollow in your presence. Your men think you rule by fault but you lead by desire and might and that's something no one will ever understand but me. You are a man with a head full of dreams and ambition. You are a very flawed character always fighting your demons and everyone else around who threaten your success. The only other thing that makes you happy in this world is me. People hate you for it, but I am grateful. Therefore I love you. No matter what anyone says about you my king and love and no matter how far you drift into fantasy, wanting your dreams to rescue you instead of the person who has been saving you since day one, remember that your flaws will always be more fascinating than your perfections. And as much as you want to be my ruler and king, you will always just be my Alexander.

So in other words you don't like me as king as much as you like the Alexander who had no future?

The general just smiles. You're so cute when you're clueless. You've always had the future as king. I loved you when you were Alexander who thought so little of himself and had no future because I had you all to myself. Then he hugs his king preciously even if the king won't return it back.

That's selfish Phai. The blonde king remains pouty as he overthinks his position.

If you think that's selfish, I even prayed that you wouldn't become king because I would be lost forever after loosing you to the world you seem to love more than anything. He gives the blonde man one last kiss.

Why do you think that I love the world that much? The king asks as his lover slides off the bed and heads for the door going back to duties.

Figure it out love.

Wait come back to me.

Why? You've assigned me work that has a deadline Alexander. It can't be late.

I want you to stay because you always think I leave you in the dark. I don't want to be a bad king especially not to you. I made you mad and I want to make it up to you. So if I desert you it's just to make you see that you could be free from me. I don't want you to feel like I'm holding you down from doing things that you can't do or won't do just because your with me. I want you to realize that this isn't the only option. You can go further than this, you can go further than me, if it's what you wish but you know I want you Hephaistion and I'm frustrated because there is an end to the world but there is no end to you so I feel that I can't completely have you. The world I know I can have. But I'm not sure with you. Every time I see you I want more but I don't know how much I can take. I seem to be limited but you seem limitless. You're everything that I want and I can only meet you half way. The world doesn't stand a chance. Innocence and discomfort drifts into the kings indifferent eyes.

The blue eyed man thinks he makes less sense than a sentence not even completed. He then walks back towards his king and he takes his lover and drowns him in a stronger kiss than before. Proving his love and desire for only him. You're insane if you think that I would want to go further than you. You're so stupid Alexander. I only love you.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Cassy nudged him. "You okay Alex?"

Life came back into Alex and he looked at Cassy and blinked. "Yea I'm fine." He almost forgot where he was and started to look around to confirm the location.

"Dude are you sure? I was talking to you and you just blanked."

"Sorry. I just, I haven't been feeling well. What were you saying?"

Cassy knew there was some truth in that but he also knew Alex always spaced out. But he never would have suggested a bigger problem, even though spacing out when it meant not hearing a thing, not at all in contact with reality, absolutely absent from time, and taking long needed breaths just to react again wasn't normal at all. But his friend decided not to point it out and would stick to 'Alex is just weird like that'. "I was saying that Phai hasn't come out yet. Maybe we should go knock on his door."

"I'm sure he's just changing out of his work clothes. The movie doesn't start for an hour and a half anyway."

"Whatever you say. We'll wait." Cassy whipped out a cigarette and leaned against Alex's car.

We were all still friends. The only change that happened between us was seeing each other less, because we were working our part time jobs. Callista and Leon were sort of dating finally. Tolem was talking about giving Thais a promise ring. Phai and I hung out all the time but did nothing intimately. Phai's dad had been trying to get to know my dad more even though my dad didn't want to. Mother called me everyday. Phai's mom baked me cookies everyday and Cassy was always eyeing Phai everyday. Cassy and I were talking like we used too, kind of leaving the little tension behind but still battling silently over Phai. Crater and Phil and Cassy had gotten used to Phai but that didn't mean they didn't pick on him. They still did but his tolerance grew. However is tolerance with Roxanne hadn't.

Phai was watching Cassy and Alex from his room window talking outside while Callista was searching through his closet for nice clothes for him to wear. Then to make his day worse he saw Roxanne arrive. If he had a smile on his face it would have died quick. "Damnit." He didn't know she was going with them.

She spotted Alex with snaky eyes. She was dressy, no doubt trying to look her best for Alex. Phai suddenly felt uncomfortable. Cassy was okay for the time being, but Roxanne he couldn't fucking stand.

"What about this?" Callista threw a plain grey t shirt on his bed. "It's boring just like you."

When he saw Roxanne touching Alex is when he left the window and sat on his bed. "I don't want to go anymore." He just decided out of the blue. He picked up the shirt and tossed it back at his sister. "Put it back."

The sight of Cassy and Alex together made him want to set a house on fire. But the sight of Roxanne and Alex together made him want to set his own house on fire.

Yes, Roxanne was still around and at the time I didn't know what her problem was with Phai but she made it abundantly clear that she hated him and till this day she never gave me the reason why she did. This is why it's hard to reason with her and even talk to her. She just wouldn't have the heart to try to understand. In some ways it was my fault. I simply let it go which might have been the worst decision I've ever made.

Phai was jealous of Roxanne taking me away from him, which Cassy wanted because it gave him the chance to be near Phai. I was jealous of Cassy taking Phai from me which he also wanted because of his hidden but apparent dislike for me. So in conclusion, he wins either way.

Cassander started to place his hand over the burning oil lamp just watching how the fire and light reacted off his skin. He suddenly remembered the answer Hephaistion gave him, and when his palm felt the fire hitting his skin he moved his hand away.

"You wouldn't understand Cassander."

His memories couldn't have been any clearer than ice. He was never able to get them out of his mind or let them go. Maybe because it was a feeling getting rejected by the brunette blue eyed god that all the boys fantasized about but teased him because of it. And maybe because it was the first time Hephaistion ever told him what he felt about him and finally realized why he envied Alexander for all these years.

"You like what he has? He makes you popular and you enjoy all the attention he gives you because he's the prince. Why else would you be with him?"

"Like I said, you wouldn't understand Cassander because you already have this idea behind the reason why I enjoy the prince' time and attention. I have not slept with him by the way so it couldn't be the pleasures of sex I enjoy about him. It can't be because he makes me popular because I am still a shadow in his light and an outcast by the rest of the people surrounding his life who are close to him. It can't be that I like what he has because I do not have what he has nor do I deserve what he has. But I will tell you why I enjoy him. Because I've never met a person with such a beautiful mind and dream. I've never met anyone who gave as much away, throwing bigger things away like gold but keeping simpler tiny things like a rock. His idea of himself and life around him is so complex it becomes easy to understand him after time. He has flaws like any of us yet we hate him because of it but he never reminds us of our flaws. Instead he embraces every man, every imperfection about what makes us human, even those he's not fond of. And he trusts me enough to let me know what he hates and likes about himself and what he likes and hates about me but only lets the mortal amplify it. That to me is beautiful Cassander. If you don't like that answer too bad. Everyone is their own person. The problem with you is that you want to be too much like Alexander and you dismiss your own beauty that makes you, you. So don't hurt Alexander by hating him because you envy what he possesses. He doesn't deserve that and you shouldn't do that to yourself either. You can never be an Alexander but you can always be a Cassander…"

"The queen wishes to talk with you."

Cassander looked slowly over near the entry to see Craterus standing there. "About what?"

The bigger general shrugged. "She didn't say."

Here is the update. Sorry to keep you waiting. (Sick of my apologies? Yep, I know)

Thanks for the concern and wonderful message violetsuki :) Also Lysis I don't think I got around to you but it's always a pleasure to hear from you! and for everyone else thanks for reading. I'll try to keep up this time because you guys are way ahead of me.- Stranger