"Why don't seagulls live by the bay?"
"They do live by the bay."
I pressed my fist to my forehead. Despite an IQ of 187, Doctor Spencer Reid was unable to comprehend a basic joke. My brother and I were sitting on the sofa in the living room. He had been watching something on the History Channel when I decided to test his sense of humor, it wasn't going well.
"Because then they'd be bagels," I finished. Spencer looked at me expectantly. "Don't you get it?" I asked.
"But they'd still be seagulls, despite where they live geographically," Spencer reasoned.
I sighed, "No, no, Spencer, the joke is that if the seagulls lived at the bay they'd be called bay-gulls, which sounds like bagels, the food. Got it?"
Spencer blinked, "nice joke," he deadpanned.
I turned around so I was facing him directly, sitting with my ankles crossed and knees out. He was still looking at the television, obviously trying to ignore me. "Ok, the past, the present and the future all walk into a bar at the same time. It was tense," I tried. He glanced at me, still no reaction.
"Ok let's try this again!" I said hopefully, "I was wondering why the Frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me." The corners of his mouth turned up slightly. I pointed directly at his face, "YOU THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY!" I shouted.
"Did not," he said, still focusing on the TV.
"Admit it," I said, poking him in the arm.
"No."
"Admit it."
"No."
"Admit it."
"No."
"ADMIT. IT."
"No." I turned away and pouted, crossing my arms across my chest. I stuck out my lower lip and glared at him, still no response.
Finally, after about fifteen minutes of pouting, sighing, and making faces at Spencer, he shut off the TV and turned around. "What does Star Trek's Doctor Bones McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde?" He asked, one eyebrow raised, "Space. The final frontier," he concluded and smiled wryly.
I turned my head to one side. "Big words" I stated, mildly impressed at his efforts. "But don't you know why blonde jokes are so short?" I asked sweetly, "So brunettes can remember them." His face showed defeat, and I grinned evilly. "Don't worry Reidikins," I said, using the old nickname he hated, "We'll work on it."
Author's note: short chapter, but fun to write, sorry :)