Chapter 21: Love at first sight

For some time I laid in my new room, looking up at the ceiling.

I listened to the clock next to my bedside.

It calmed me down...at least a bit...

But my stomach was still turning, and my mind was racing and so did my heart.

I was really angry...

Angry at Slade, because he was a fucking bastard, who takes everything away from me. Angry at Christy, because she was a stupit bitch and she is also the girlfriend of Richard-which is the reason because I hate her most. Angry at Richard, because he showed his eyes just like that, to everybody in the room...

And I am angry at myself. Why can´t I get it into my head, that everything was over? I am not a Titan anymore. Starfire, the part of me I loved more, than this stupid human-form, was dead. Richard doesn´t love me-we are merely friends...Tamaran was destroyed... Everthing was over...

I sighed and rolled over on my stomach, my head in the pillows.

The Titans were on a mission, or at least I thougt so.

I heard fast steps, and screaming outside.

Some words were:

"..., danger..."

or

"..., hurry up..." mixed with a few other words.

I also heard the engine of two motor cycles and the T-car.

But now..., there was silence...

Amy was outside, in the garden. I had a perfect view over it. When I came here, I saw her there...

Alfred and Diana were surely in the kitchen, doing the dishes...

Babara was maybe in her room, like always, when they are on mission.

Bruce..., propably ´helped´ the Titans as Batman, in the city.

And Christy..., whatever..., I don´t care.

I groaned loudly and got out of my bed.

It was a good time to unpack my stuff...

Slowly I went to my suitcase and opened it.

The first thing I saw, was the cover of the diary, I found a week earlier.

Curiously I took some of my clothes out, and put them on the ground, before I grabbed it with both hands.

Then I crawled slowly back on my bed.

I leaned into the heap of pillows, to relax a bit.

When I was laid comfortably, as far as possible, I laid the book on my lap and let my fingers travel over the bookcover .

This just couldn´t be Slade´s diary...

It was just..., unthinkable...

Once again I sighed, before opening it, seeing the first page.

On this page was a old black-white photo.

It showed a young man-maybe 16 years old- with a uniform on. It seemed like he was proud of what he was. His eyes looked out of the picture, searching mine. And I must say, that he was very handsome...

This picture caught my whole attention...

I let my fingers trail along the face.

Two beautiful eyes were hidden under thick hair..., that couldn´t be Slade.

Slowly I turned the next page over.

On the next two pages was just writing, which was easy to read.

I bit my lip, and looked once again up and around my room.

The was no way back..., I would have to read this diary...

Then I looked back down, and began to read:

´So..., where should I start...
My name is Slade Wilson and I am now 16 years old. I just joined the army, although I am still to young for it. But I Iied about my age to join... My first days were hard here, far away from home. Some guys, who live with me in this accommodation, tease me because of my white hair. I don´t even know why I have this kind of color. I was just born with it...
I will stay here no matter what happens. I am going to prove myself, that I can do something like this.
But there is also another reason, why I won´t leave. There is this amazing, female instructor. Her name is Adeline Kane. She has wonderful, long brown-red hair and brown eyes. Every woman I know would die for a body like hers. I saw her on my first day here, just satnding a few steps away from me and asking for my name. She had a voice of an angle... I was never in love before and I always thought, love was something for
idiots. But now I believe in it. I think it´s love at first sight. I really fell in love with this goddess...´

I swalloed the pile, which had risen up in my throat.

Disgusting... Slade-heartless Slade himself- was once a lovesick teen..

In anger I threw the diary on the floor, next to my bed and got out of it.

Slowly I walked over to the window.

This must be a lie...

Slade would never write something like this...

With my fingers I rubbed softly on my temples.

I had a very bad headach.

Everything was turning around me.

Slade was the same age as me, when I came here to earth and become a Titan.

16 years..., the same age when I fell in love the first time...

He fell in love with this Adeline Kane and I fell in love with Richard Grayson...

..., both at first sight...

That was sick.

I sighed as I watched Amy outside in the garden.

She was running around in the green grass-having fun.

Something I could never do in this age.

Earth showed me the good sides of life-without the duty of a princess.

This side was shown by the Titans, every second we were together; in the Tower, at the beach, in the mall or just in the park.

And Richard showed me how to live...,how to love...

In that moment Amy looked up to my window and saw me there.

She began to smile and waved, before she returned to whatever she was doing.

She was such a wonderful free soul.

I envy her...

Amy has the right to choose, what she is going to do...

She won´t be forced to do things she don´t want.

Amy is allowed to love.

She can marry everybody she wants...

I am thankful to have this right now, too.

Although it doesn´t mean, that I can marry the man, I first fell in love with.

This man is Richard Grayson...

TTTTTTT

Soon I will have vacation. But I still have to go to school for two weeks. Hope I will survive it... After that I will write stories (especially this one) like mad. So...thats all for now...

Review as always...