AN: This chapter is highly based off the season 4 finale, and yes I know that I've jumped around a bit with plotlines but you can't mess with this episode being pivotal. Plus it's AU so things can change.
Jeremy died during the surgery. The moment his monitors started going off Meredith knew exactly what needed to change. For a few months they had spent all this time researching and trying to figure everything out, and Meredith suddenly knew. Once they get out of surgery she explains to Derek what they needed to change before going to inform Beth that Jeremy died.
"If you don't want the surgery we'll understand." Derek says softly in a way that makes Meredith's heart melt. He's so good with kids, so good with patients in general that Meredith feels herself turn to mush.
Sucking in a deep breath, Beth looks at them both pointedly. "You've figured out what's wrong?" She asks. Despite an age of 17, Beth appeared wiser than both Meredith and Derek.
Nodding, Meredith jumps in. "We believe we've figured what we're doing wrong, but that doesn't mean we're right. There are no clinical trials out there though." Meredith says.
"I want the surgery," Beth says without a moment's hesitation. Meredith and Derek watch as her parents react in shock.
Beth's dad is quick to interject. "Maybe we should take some time and think about it. Take the night, maybe take you home." He offers trying to stall his daughter. From the vantage point of Meredith and Derek they can see how the parents would want to keep their daughter at home for as long as possible.
Shaking her head furiously, Beth cuts in again. "I'm going to die. I'm going to die either way. I want a chance to live. This is my best shot. Mom, Dad, if you take me home I'll just die. I'm 17, and I want to live." Beth pleads. "Do the surgery, tonight. I'll be the lucky one. I can feel it." Beth says and her parents nod in agreement.
Derek all but storms out of the room and Meredith can feel him grow irritated with her. "She's grieving and you pushed her into the surgery." Derek spat at her.
Seeing it from the other viewpoint, Meredith butts heads with him. They're both stubborn and there's no backing down once they've gotten here. "She is going to go home and die. Letting her do that when she wants to fight, when she wants a chance to live is a failure on our part. She knows what she's doing, and you're giving her the best shot she could possibly have."
Whatever led Derek to push back on her like this clearly had nothing to do with Beth or Jeremy, she knew it had to do with her. "Because of you today I will kill a fifteenth person. Because all we do is kill things." He slams the chart shut and storms off.
Swallowing the lump in her throat Meredith goes to scrub in. While she scrubs in she sees Derek come in and start talking to the patient. Finishing scrubbing she steps in the OR to catch the end of what Derek says to Beth.
"Come on what are you scared?" Beth provokes him, her breath quiet. Meredith feels almost like she should move away from the scene and give Beth a moment with her doctor.
As Derek admits "Yes I am." Meredith's system goes into shock for a moment. Never had she heard Derek admit so blatantly to his fears. She almost wanted to jump in on the conversation.
"Me too so let's just leap. Okay?" Beth admits and prompts a smile from Derek.
The McDreamy smile prominent on his face she sees the bit of sparkle go back into Derek's eyes. "Okay." He agrees, taking Beth's hand for a moment before they put her under. "It's a beautiful day to save lives, everyone." His voice rings through the OR before they begin operating.
Beth makes it through surgery. Hours later she wakes up, and they realize the tumor has shrunk. It worked. Meredith sees the tumor shrinking first, but Derek witnesses Beth waking up to find out it really did work.
Running through the locker room Meredith goes looking for the bottle of champagne they'd hidden months ago, only to not find it. Impulsively, she makes a decision.
"Lexie! I need your help. Get changed." she yells into the intern locker room. Not even five minutes later Lexie's dressed and standing outside of the locker room.
"You want to do what?" Lexie basically yells in disbelief once Meredith has explained.
An hour later they're standing in a field, which Lexie learned to be the land Derek purchased in his post-Addison affair haze. Candles in jars and glasses in one hand, a lighter in another they layout what she makes to be a house. In a few places, Lexie has to explain to Meredith that houses don't have that shape, but they make it work. "So you're going to tell him you love him? That you want to be with him?" Lexie asks as they finish up the house outline.
Meredith stands in the middle of the candles, nodding. "He told me he wanted to build a house with me. I don't build houses. So, we're doing this." She gestures around her. Every inch of Meredith hated corny gestures like this, but she knew how much Derek loved them, and this was it. She wanted to be with him till the end and for once she understood the point of the big gesture in explaining to him why she had done it, why she'd worked to get all whole and healed and to be with him.
"Well, I'm going to go. Good luck with this." Lexie says turning to go walk to her car. Driving away, Lexie watches Meredith begin pacing around. For Meredith's sake, she hopes Derek comes quickly.
Thirty minutes later finds Meredith pacing around the house of candles. "Stupid, corny, idiotic, I cannot believe I did this. Stupid, loser, son of a... I could be at home instead of, ugh, stupid brain man…" She kicks at the grass before turning over and pacing more. How could she have thought this would have worked for her? Things like this never worked out for her, she should have known better.
Walking up, Derek watches Meredith curse at him. Champagne in hand he can't avoid smiling as he watches her curse him and her out. "Meredith." He calls, alerting her to his presence.
Stopping her cursing, Meredith's head snaps right up. Suddenly she's filled with rage. "Where have you been?! I've been waiting and waiting for you! And I did this stupid, embarrassing, humiliating, corny thing. And I was just gonna tell you that, this over here is our kitchen, and this is our living room, and over there that's the room where our kids could play. I had this whole thing about I was gonna build us a house, but I don't build houses because I'm a surgeon! And now I'm here feeling like a lame ass loser. I got all whole and healed and you don't show up. And now it's all ruined because you took so long to come home! And I couldn't even find that bottle of champagne." Her anger fades in the middle of her tirade when she remembers why she's doing this.
Raising his arm, Derek holds up the bottle to her with a smile on his face. Maybe she thought it was stupid, but he had never loved her more. "This the kitchen? Living room? - a little small. I think the view's much better from here. And that's the room where the kids are going to play? Where's our bedroom?" Walking around the house he takes a look towards her and closes the distance.
Meredith rants again as he gets close to her. "I'm still mad at you and I don't know if I trust you, I wanna trust you, but I don't know if I do. So I'm just gonna try, I'm gonna try and trust you. Because I believe that, we can be extraordinary together rather than ordinary apart and I wanna be…" Derek cuts her off with a kiss.
The house of candles flickers around them as his hands tangle in her hair.
AN: I cut out of the very end of the scene because with Rose not a thing here then we don't really need to have the part of the scene where he leaves. That's Chapter 21! Drop a review and let me know what you think!