Disclaimer: Twilight is the property of Stephenie Meyer
This chapter took a little longer than I anticipated. Mainly because I've been busy this last week with Christmas.
This chapter is dedicated to crazy dreaming…
= x = x = x = x = x = x =
I awoke with a start dripping in sweat. The air conditioner was whirring away reassuringly overhead sending a cooling wave of air throughout the apartment. I pushed back my hair and sat up in bed.
What a strange dream, werewolves and vampires? I had never given much thought to such creatures, thinking the whole supernatural genre of writing was not worth the paper it was printed on. I even refused to watch films that had even the slightest hint of something that could not be proven by science.
I blamed Harry, an author friend of mine who always raved about the supernatural and pointed to suspiciously circumstantial evidence to the existence of vampires.
"Isn't it strange Essie?" He would say, "Nearly every culture on Earth has some form of vampire myth. There must be something in it."
And I would sigh and shake my head sadly as I would explain yet again about the human obsession with mortality and how even in primitive cultures they knew that blood was important to stay alive. So naturally you would devise some form of demon or other that would wish to take your life from you.
Then Harry would call me narrow-minded and I would call him an obsessive fool and we wouldn't talk for a week or two before one or the other of us relented and apologised.
It was these times that put a great strain on Tobias, he was a laid back rocker who thought everyone was entitled to the own opinion. Although I'm quite sure he would not like to hear my opinion about men in the mid thirties who still wore eyeliner and skinny-jeans.
I am Esther Black and I'm a highly opinionated News Anchor for Seattle News. I hate foolish nonsense about vampires and witches and werewolves, my worst time of year is Halloween. Imagine, a serious reporter like myself forced to wear a witch's hat because, 'It'll show you have a whimsical side that the public will love.'
I have no whimsical side, and I don't want the public to love me, I just want to give them the news. How are you supposed to deliver a serious piece of news about a ten car pile up on the highway when you have a black cone stuck on your head complete with novelty smiling spider?
So it was down to Harry that I put that strange dream about a younger me who was completely at odds with the world. He had bid me to come watch a movie with him last night and reluctantly I agreed. It had started well enough, and I was thoroughly engrossed before I realised that it was a movie about vampires.
This left me in somewhat of a dilemma. I hate anything to do with the supernatural, while at the same time I hate to leave anything in the middle. If I start something I must finish it, so with mild annoyance I finished watching the film. It would have been excellent had it not been for the vampires and the werewolves that popped up also.
It always struck me as odd that vampires and werewolves were such mortal enemies, surely if they were such powerful races why did they not team up and crush pathetic humans beneath their varied feet?
However, blame aside, that dream had been strange, and I noted how strange it had been as I began to enter it into my dream diary. I had kept one since I was a little girl; it was part of the therapy I had received due to the nightmares I had endured every night. If I wrote them down then I could read them and know which elements to look out for the next time so that I could wake myself before it became too intense.
…The child of a half vampire and werewolf…new school…pale faces and tired eyes…motorbike…blood…
Where had all this come from?
I placed the book back on my bedside table and glanced at the clock. It was two in the morning. I would have to be up in an hour so that I could get ready for the Breakfast News. It was pointless going back to sleep so I thought I'd treat myself to a leisurely breakfast.
I got out of bed and walked through the cool rooms to my kitchen/living room area, the lights coming on through motion detectors. I strolled over to the refrigerator and opened it to peruse its contents, wondering what to make myself that would satisfy my appetite. The radio came on as I stood in the chill of the refrigerator in nothing but my silk pyjamas. It was my favourite station, easy listening, none of that headache inducing rock nonsense.
It was playing one now, light and tinkly with a proper soothing underscore. I hummed along as I grabbed the fruit salad I'd prepared last night and the bottle of milk for my coffee.
…Esther? Esther are you Ok?…
I frowned and stood up from the refrigerator, was there a radio play on? Sometimes they ran them at this time of the night. The radio was still playing the tune I'd been humming along to however. I shook my head dismissively, these early mornings sometimes made you hear things.
I went to my kettle to switch it on ready to make my coffee and I put two slices of wholemeal into the toaster. While I was waiting for these to cook I went to get some orange juice, something to quench the sudden thirst I felt, and was it me or had it suddenly become hot?
I gulped down a glass of orange juice right there by the refrigerator before pouring myself another. This I sipped as I crossed the room to check on the thermostat.
…Thank god you're here! I was starting to feel lonely" The same voice from earlier spoke through the speaker of the radio.
"What happened?" A male voice asked.
"I have no idea what caused it, but she's catatonic. She goes through the motions of being awake and asleep, but otherwise nothing. You move her in anyway and she just stays like that."
"How long has she been like this?"
"Three days."
"Do the others know?"
"I tried phoning (static) but he and (static) are on a second honeymoon right now and can't be reached. I didn't want to tell Mom and Dad until I knew how serious this was."
"Would you like me to take a look?"
"If you don't mind…
The lights flickered overhead and I realised that I'd been standing staring at the thermostat for a while. I shook my head to rouse myself and turned in dismay to see that I was now running late.
"And that's it from us this lunch time, I hope you have a nice day and are careful and conscientious in all your endeavours." I said cheerfully with my winning smile as I delivered my usual sign off.
I held the smile in place and pretended to shuffle papers as the lights went down in the studio and the theme music played over the PA. The bell rang and the big lights came up. I dropped the prat smile from my face and leaned back in my chair messaging my temples.
"God I'm glad it's Friday." I said flatly.
"Too much fun last night?" Olivia the weather girl retorted as she swept past me on her way to see Mike my co-anchor for a private session if I was any judge.
They thought no one knew of their private liaisons, but the whole studio knew that was how Olivia got the job in the first place. For she was hopeless at delivering the weather and she had no metrological background. She merely stood in front of the camera solidifying the stereotype of the dumb blonde.
"As if!" She added with a laugh as she disappeared behind the scenery.
I shook my head in pity for the poor deluded girl, she most likely thought herself the epitome of wit. I stood and crossed the studio, unhooking my radio mike as I went.
"Excellent show today." Marlin said enthusiastically as she followed me with her clipboard.
"I'll have to take your word for that." I said peevishly as I handed my radio mike to the sound technician.
"Is something bothering you hon?" Marlin asked as we moved away from the sound guy.
"Do you fancy going for a drink?" I asked as we entered my dressing room.
"At twelve noon?" She asked in mock horror as she looked at her watch.
"How early we rise this is early evening to us." I remarked as I began to remove the caked on stage makeup.
"Then how can I say no." Marlin said with cheeky smile. "I'll just go finish up then I'll come with you." She assured me.
"Yes, I will meet you in the car park."
I laughed uncontrollably at the story Samantha had just imparted, her twin Susan nodding along in agreement to each improbable event, one after the other. It was clear that I was getting to that merry tipsy stage and this would be a good time to stop before I got to the depressed stage that was never far away.
"I think someone's had enough." Marlin chided, pulling my martini glass away from me.
"Sure, sure." I mumbled, "I'll have a coke this time. Whose round is it?" I asked looking around expectantly.
My friends looked back at me with amused smiles.
"Oh right, it's mine." I laughed as I rose to my feet. "So that's four cokes then."
My friends agreed and I crossed to the bar concentrating all my effort on walking strait.
"Four cokes please Will." I said, digging into my purse for the money, "And would you be so kind as to call us a cab."
"Heading home early tonight?" Will asked as I slipped a fifty onto the sticky bar top.
…She won't even eat. I'm afraid she'll just waste away."
"What have you tried her with?"
"Everything!"
"Are you sure you've tried everything?"
"Well not quite everything…
I scrunched my nose irritably wondering why they would be broadcasting that strange radio play in a cocktail bar where they normally piped in soft jazz.
"Do you want your change?" Will said in a voice that made it clear this wasn't the first time he'd asked me.
"What?" I asked looking up at him distractedly. "Oh, no, no…you keep it." I said, grabbing hold of the four tall thin glasses dexterously with my fingers.
"Thanks Esther." He said brightly as I walked back to my table deep in thought.
I placed the glasses down without looking at my chattering friends. I wasn't looking at much really, my eyes found a glass ring to focus on, but it was just to have something to look at as I reached out absentmindedly for my coke.
"Oh no." Marlin's voice cut through my thoughts. "We let her drink too much."
"What?" I asked, looking up.
"You've gone into depressed mode." She pointed out.
"No I haven't." I replied defensively, "Am I not allowed to be quiet?"
"Not when you've been drinking." Marlin pointed out as she looked at me with concern.
"It's nothing, I just had a very strange dream last night. However, I can't tell you about it here. That's why we are all going back to my apartment. I have already ordered a cab. We can watch movies and eat unhealthy take-away and have a proper girly night. Or if you prefer we could invite the boys over and we can braid Tobias's hair and paint Harry's fingernails black." I said in the happiest voice I could muster.
"Shouldn't that be the other way around?" Susan said with a frown.
"Not if I have my way." I said with a genuine grin.
I awoke with a start and glared blearily as the credits rolled up the screen.
"That film always makes my cry." Samantha said in a thick voice before blowing her nose noisily.
"Of course." I murmured, wondering what movie we'd been watching.
"I love how he comes back for her in the end." Marlin whispered, the emotion clear in her voice too.
That comment was of little help, many tear inducing romance films ended in that way.
"Look at us." Susan chided, dabbing at her own eyes. "We're like a bunch of hormonal teenagers."
"Quite." I remarked as I rose from the sofa and made my way to the kitchen area.
The lights flickered on as I entered and I went to my wine rack and pulled out a bottle of red. It was a nice Californian Merlot, not what you might call a noteworthy wine, but unlike a lot of wines in its price range it did not have that atrocious vinegary after taste and was simply perfect for nights like these.
"Anyone care for a glass?" I asked as I retrieved the corkscrew from the top drawer.
"Do you think it's a good idea?" Marlin asked, "You've had quite a bit today."
"Earlier on. I've sobered up now and I want to be merry again." I announced as I worked quickly to uncork the bottle.
"No thank you." Marlin said rising to her feet. "I should probably be going now anyway. Unlike you fancy shmancy news readers us producers actually have to work on Saturdays." She said as she stretched.
"We may as well go now." Samantha said, rising also. "I have to go into the office tomorrow to catch up on some paperwork. We may as well share a cab with Marlin."
"Oh. Ok." I said in a small voice as I placed a wine glass on the table.
"See you tomorrow." Susan said quietly as she rose to her feet and went to grab her coat.
"Bye Esther." Marlin called cheerfully as she exited my apartment.
"Bye." Samantha said as she followed her.
"Good bye." I murmured as Susan, the last to leave, smiled at me minimally before closing the door behind her.
…There's still no response. Do you think we should get a doctor?"
"And tell them what Ness? Her skin's as impervious as mine but still supple like yours. It's as if her body is trying to be vampire while it's still actually human…
At the word 'vampire' I let out an exasperated growl and in a moment of pure rage I ripped the radio from the socket and threw it across the room. It landed undamaged on the sofa, for which I was thankful after my fit of rage had passed. It wouldn't have been the first thing I'd broken in temper.
I glanced at the open bottle of wine and knew I didn't want to be alone right now. I grabbed it along with two glasses and made my way across the hall and knocked on the door.
There was no answer after thirty seconds so I knocked again. This time I heard movement from within and the door opened to reveal Tobias in an old T-shirt and boxer shorts and his hair all mussed from bed.
"It's a bit early for sleep." I commented with a frown, while I also thought of the irony of his bed wear.
If you asked anyone out there what Toby Terror, lead singer of The Terrifying, wore to bed they'd either answer, a, nothing at all. Or in the case of his more hardcore fans, b, eveningwear with authentic vampire make-up in a coffin. I doubt if even his most ardent fans would recognise him when he was being Tobias Hannigan the talented music writer.
"It's one in the morning Esther." He said through a yawn as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.
"It is?" I asked, my frown deepening, I'd lost time somewhere.
He blinked and then looked me over.
"Do you want to come in?" He asked, holding the door open for me.
I nodded my head and walked into his apartment.
I had to laugh at this formal door greeting. Up until recently we'd all three of us lived in each other's apartments, treating the top floor as if it was one big communal living area. That was until the day I walked in on Harry in a rather compromising position with his new female publicist. Harry, despite his reputation as being a somewhat surly writer had quite the way with the ladies.
Tobias on the other hand didn't like to 'shit on his own doorstep' as the old saying went. Out on the road, when he was touring, he lived up to the excesses of the rock and roll lifestyle with the whole kit and caboodle that went with being a genius rock god. However, when he was back home writing his music, or merely resting up after a long tour, he would lead a relatively quiet life inside his apartment.
After the aforementioned incident it was agreed that if we called on each other after six then we would knock, just in case.
It was the reason I came to Tobias when I was in these dark moods, firstly because he never brought anyone back to his apartment. He dreaded the thought of his fans finding out where he really lived and making his life difficult. He employed a look-alike for the express reason of living in a big house in the country and behaving like the typical rock star. Secondly when Tobias comforted me I did not feel I had to repay him with any sexual favours. It was something that was always at the back of my mind whenever I had to take my problems to Harry if Tobias was away. Not that Harry had ever forced me into anything, but there was always that uneasy taste to the air that if I ever allowed him he would very much like to make our relationship 'friends with benefits' which was something I knew I was not emotionally stable enough to deal with.
Tobias slumped down onto his enormous black leather sofa with his arm spread along the back and he flipped on the TV. Mainly for a bit of background noise, there was very little on at this time of the morning. I sat next to him bringing my feet up beneath me as he curled his arm around me.
"So what's on your mind kid?" He asked.
"Drink?" I offered, holding up the two glasses and the bottle.
"Why not." He said, taking one glass off me and turning it the right way up.
I turned my glass the right way up and poured us each a generous helping before placing the bottle carefully on the coffee table. I leaned back and took a sip of the rich berry wine while Tobias drained the top of his.
"So the girls were over tonight?" He asked, trying a different approach when I was not forthcoming with an answer to his previous question.
"Yes." I answered, as I took another sip, staring at the TV screen but not really seeing it.
"How's Marlin?" He asked.
"Good." I replied.
Marlin was Tobias's younger sister, we had been in the same year at school, and they had a rollercoaster of a sibling relationship. They were either inseparable or as it was at the moment not speaking to each other. This little falling out had been over the whole contractual obligations versus family ties that often happen when two members of the same family enter two different sectors of the entertainment industry.
Marlin had wanted Tobias and his band, The Terrifying, to appear on our breakfast show. It would have been a coup for the studio and meant a definite promotion for her. Tobias hadn't been able to do it because of some deal his manager had made with our rival studio, which meant that he was unable to work for us.
"I heard you all coming in. I thought it would be safer to hide out in my apartment. I know how you girls get with a bit of drink inside of you." He said lightly before drinking some more wine.
"That was probably the best idea." I said with a slight smile. "We were going to braid your hair."
"That would have been a sight for sure." He said with a laugh.
"Most definitely." I agreed, before taking a gulp of my wine this time. "How do you know if you're going mad?" I asked.
"Why do you ask?" He inquired, his voice suddenly serious.
"I woke from this really strange dream last night, about vampires and werewolves." I admitted.
"Vampires and werewolves?" He asked in shock.
"Indeed, and you know my abhorrence for such things." I said flatly.
"I do." He said in a guarded voice.
"I dreamt that you and Marlin were vampires and Harry and the Twins were, well not werewolves yet, but they would be when they came of age. We were all back in school you see."
"Oh." Was all he responded.
We were silent for a while.
"So what were you?" He asked.
"An uncertainty." I replied, remembering my own words from my dream. "I was the daughter of a half vampire and a werewolf and nobody had a clue which side I was going to follow the most. It was most vexing."
"I can't begin to imagine." He conceded.
"I'm glad I'm not her, how bad it would be to live her life."
…Esther? Essie? See I told you it was no use."
"Maybe we should both try speaking into her mind…
I awoke as if someone had been calling my name and looked at the TV through half closed eyes.
"Perhaps we should try feeding her again, she seems to respond to that" the male voice came from the TV set.
I frowned at the two kids who sat in the screen, obscured as if they were not really in focus. It must have been some art house film this early in the morning.
"Maybe." The girl conceded, a worried look barely discernable on her blurred face that sat in a halo of bronze. "But I worry that's what's making her worse."
"No. No. Anything she responds to is good." The boy said, his hair a blaze of gold.
The girl nodded and rose from view, the camera staying with the boy. The boy was looking into the camera with a slight frown, as if he was searching for something.
…Essie? Esther can you hear me? If you can let me know in some way. Please…
Did I just imagine that voice in my head? It sounded like the boy on the TV screen. I turned my head slightly from side to side, squinting my eyes to try and bring the blurred image into better focus, but it was no use.
"Here Essie, drink this." The girl said returning to the screen and I heard the words echo in my mind as a cup was placed in front of the screen. It was done in a way that made you the camera and you were drinking that strange red liquid that sloshed about.
A strange scent filled my nose that suddenly made me feel hungry, but I had no idea what I hungered for.
Something flickered in the corner of my eye and I turned quickly and just for a second I thought I saw someone standing in the corner of the room. A thin girl with dark hair and dressed all in black. I blinked and the image was gone. I turned my attention back to the screen but it was blank.
I frowned in annoyed confusion as I pulled myself up from the sofa and made my way to the set, barely avoiding the table. I reached out a hand and placed it against the screen. It felt cold, as if it had been off for hours.
I stared at the dark grey in front of me as my mind reeled. I could not make up my mind if I had imagined the whole incident or if I had lost time again. This was getting serious, I would have to go see my therapist again.
"Esther?" I turned quickly to find Tobias watching me.
"Yes?"
"Is there something wrong?" He asked.
I shook my head quickly as I rose to my feet.
"I should be going." I mumbled as I eyed the corner nervously.
"Stay if you want." He offered.
I shook my head.
"No, I have much to do today." I said before heading for the door.
"Are you sure you're ok?"
"Yes." I said firmly, before crossing back to my apartment.
I entered the safety of my apartment and closed the door before leaning against it. I slid down it, sighing in relief. I should be safe here. I rose unsteadily to my feet and walked over to the breakfast bar.
The air was feeling hot again and I decided to have a shower.
I sat in my chair reading to while away a rainy afternoon. I had no particular plans for the day and neither did I particularly feel like venturing out.
…All we can do is wait and hope…
I frowned as the voice cut into my concentration. It was that damn radio play again. I frowned at the radio, or where it should have been, then I remembered my tantrum this morning. I looked over at the sofa where the radio was laying un powered.
…Are you sure there's nothing more we can try?" The girl pleaded.
"No. It's all up to Essie now." There was a pause, "Unless I can get hold of Jila…
I stared at the radio accusingly as I made my way toward it slowly. I picked it up and examined it in my hands. It was definitely unplugged.
"Hello Esther." A voice said in my ear.
I let out a shriek and dropped the radio where it shattered on the floor. I spun around quickly to look directly into the pointed face of a stranger. My first thought was that she was an obsessive fan, but I was sure that no fans of mine were Goths. Perhaps she was looking for Tobias and had the wrong apartment but recognised me from the News.
"Who are you and what do you want?" I demanded.
"I've come to lead you home." She said with a smile as she stood back from me.
"But I am home." I said, the unease growing.
"This isn't your home." She said with a snort, "In so much as it's your imagination." She added absently as she started rifling through my possessions. "I'm here to wake you up."
"But I am awake." I protested, wanting very much to grab her hand and tell her to stop touching my things.
"You only think you are." She said with a small shrug of her bony shoulders before she moved onto my bookshelf.
"I think I know when I'm awake." I said annoyed.
"Hmmm." She hummed derisively before going back to perusing my bookshelf, now and again selecting one at random and flicking quickly through it.
"What is your name?" She asked.
"I thought you would know that considering you're all knowing." I snapped, grabbing the book off her.
"I know your name." She said. "I was just wondering if you did."
"It's Esther." I said.
"And mine's Lileth." The girl said in a bright tone. "What's your full name?"
"Esther Marie Black." I said with a sigh.
"But everyone calls you Essie right." She said authoritive.
"Certainly not." I exclaimed. "Esther is the name for which I was Christened, and that is the name everyone should use."
The girl nodded her head calmly. She smiled a moment and looked as if she was considering something.
She took a deep breath.
"This is a dream." She said simply.
"No. This is reality." I insisted.
"No. This is your imagination. This apartment, those clothes you're wearing, even me, it's all in your head." She said.
"So you are a figment of my imagination?" I asked smoothly.
"Yep." She answered, suddenly interested in my potted plant.
"Then I don't have to talk to you." I said stubbornly.
"Why not?" She asked, looking over her bony shoulder.
"Because people will think I'm mad talking to thin air." I said primly.
"But there's only us here." She pointed out.
"What if Tobias or Harry were to walk in?" I demanded.
"Six o'clock rule." She said simply.
"But it's only half past three." I replied, glancing at the clock to make sure.
"Not if you don't want it to be." She said, pointing to the clock.
I looked at it again and almost choked. Now it read that it was seven o'clock in the evening.
"How is that…"
"It's all in your mind." She cut in. "I told you this is a dream."
"And I told you this is reality." I snapped, this girl was infuriating.
"If this is reality, why are there no words in those books?" She asked, smiling as if she were laying down four aces.
I frowned at her for a moment, then flicked through the book in my hand. I couldn't believe it, there was nothing but blank pages. I dropped the book to the floor then grabbed another. I flicked through this one too, still nothing. I grabbed books at random, frantically searching for one that contained words. I'd emptied half the bookcase before I gave up on my search.
"You look crazy now." The girl said in an amused voice as I grabbed the book I'd been reading moments before, but even that was blank.
I growled in annoyance as I stormed past the girl into the kitchen area. I grabbed the first bottle I put my hands on and three wine glasses off the rack. Ignoring the girl I stormed toward my apartment door. I had no idea how I was dressed nor did I care. I wanted to go talk this out with my boys.
I knocked first on Harry's door. He opened it after a couple of seconds.
"Yeah." He slurred.
"I see you have company." I said coldly, glaring at the blonde draped around him, I could never rely on Harry.
"Sorry." He said with a wince.
"Hey wait a minuet. Aren't you that reporter? The one from Breakfast News?" The blonde asked in an unsteady voice.
"No." I said firmly, and turned from them, I hated dealing with fans at the best of times, never mind when I'm in one of my moods.
I crossed over to Tobias' door as I heard Harry's door close behind me. I raised my hand to knock, but Tobias opened the door.
"Come in." He said with a smile, "Honestly I don't know why we even bother with the six o'clock rule, it's only Harry who sullies our sanctuary with his conquests."
I giggled as I entered, although I dread to think what would have happened had he walked in on me moments before and found me talking to nothing. As I looked around I noticed that his laptop was open on his table and there were papers everywhere, along with his guitar and organ set up to play.
"Oh. I'm disturbing you from your work." I said aghast.
"Actually I was looking for an excuse to stop, it's not going so great at the moment." He said with shrug. "So what have you got there?" He asked, spying the bottle in my hand.
I shrugged and handed it to him.
"Cooking sherry." He said thoughtfully, eyeing the label. "Delicious. But if you don't mind, I think I have something better." He added as he walked over to his kitchen area and placed the cooking sherry on the worktop.
"What?" I asked anxiously as he held up a bottle of tequila and two shot glasses.
"Oh no." I said aghast. "Do you remember what happened the last time?"
"Happily no." He grinned at me.
"I promised myself never again." I said, waving the glass away as visions of me dancing up on the table at a local nightclub taunted from the celebrity pages the next day. I had almost lost my reputation as a serious news reporter. It had taken a lot of damage control to clear that little mess up.
"Who's going to see you here? It's only us and Harry and none of us are going to take any pictures." Tobias pointed out.
"Harry has a…guest." I protested.
"Who will be occupied all evening thanks to Harry."
I sighed.
"Ok. But no racing. I'll just have one to begin." I instructed as I sat on one of the high stools at the breakfast bar.
"That's my girl." He said as he placed the two shot glasses on the breakfast bar and filled each one with the tequila.
I picked up the small glass and held it up in a toast.
"God help you should I have a hangover tomorrow." I teased.
"See you on the other side." He said, touching his glass to mine, and we both drank our shots back.
I drew in a quick breath and shuddered slightly as the tequila burned the back of my throat. I slammed my glass on the table and smiled at him.
"Beat you." I declared, as I started to feel the tequila fill me with its warm light.
"I thought we weren't racing." He said with a smile.
I shrugged.
"I still beat you." I smirked.
"Then maybe we should have another go. See who wins when I know it's a race." He said, moving to turn my glass around.
I shook my head and placed my hand over the glass.
"I'll just have some water for now." I said. "Pace myself."
"Ok." He agreed.
He grabbed a tumbler off the shelf and filled it with water from the tap. Tobias only ever drank tap water because he distrusted the mineral water companies, claiming that they just took tap water and messed about with it. I took the glass off him and drank it back quickly.
"Shall we get something to eat?" He asked, picking up the phone.
"Why not." I agreed for I couldn't remember when I last ate.
Was it last night with the girls? Yesterday at breakfast? This morning? It wasn't easy with all those blanks in my memory.
"What would you like?" He asked.
"You chose." I said, not really caring what I ate at the moment.
"Mexican it is." He said, hitting the speed dial.
"Might as well have the appropriate food." I observed as I made my way to his refrigerator.
I pulled out the bottle of coke and carried it over to the breakfast bar as he placed our order. I poured the coke into my glass and drank that quickly also. I was feeling thirsty again, and why did Tobias have his thermostat so low?
…Do you want more?…
I blinked as that wonderful scent filled my nose once more.
…That's right. There's a good girl. Drink it back…
I shook my head dismissively as I determined to ignore these intrusions.
"You ok with that order?" Tobias asked calling my attention to him.
"Yes." I assured him, although I hadn't heard the order and could be agreeing to eat mixed chillies with a side order of Tabasco for all I knew.
"It'll be about twenty minuets, do you want another drink while we wait?" He asked, holding up the tequila bottle.
"Have you anything a little less potent?" I asked.
"How about some vodka to go in your coke." He said, placing another bottle on the counter.
I regarded the bottle carefully as I considered. I didn't want to get so drunk I became depressed again, but I did want to be merry.
"Ok. But a half measure only." I instructed as I held my tumbler out for him to fill with the barest drop of vodka. I filled it nearly all the way with coke then and began to sip my drink.
"Have you turned up the heat?" I asked, suddenly feeling really warm.
"No." Tobias answered with a shake of his head. "Why?"
I didn't answer as I bit my lip in confusion.
"Are you ok?" He asked in an intense voice and when I looked up he was watching me carefully.
"Yeah." I said, trying to reaffirm this with a nod of my head.
He looked at me for a moment as if he was unconvinced, but Tobias never pushed. He was good like that, he allowed me the space I needed until I was ready to tell him. Harry on the other hand would pester me until I snapped at him.
"So what do you want to do?" Tobias asked straitening up as he poured himself a vodka and coke.
"I'd like to talk about your music." I said, not exactly knowing why, after all he was a rock musician, which was a genre I avoided.
"You've never wanted to before." He pointed out, as he came around the breakfast bar to sit next to me.
"And that was rude of me not to take an interest in the careers of my friends." I said solemnly as I turned slightly to face him. "So, come on, how is it going?"
"Ok." He said with a slight laugh.
The Terrifying had been one of those bands that had slogged for years in back street bars trying to get their music out there. They had put two studio albums out over My Space before some bigwig record producer had picked up on them and knew there was something there. Within a month they went from having a fan-base of two hundred local fans and five hundred more on-line, to being the hottest new band in town.
Of course the core fans were a little snobbish toward the Johnny-come-lately fans, but that often happened. It was then that everyone wanted a piece of Toby Terror and this had led Tobias to live an almost hermit existence when not on tour.
Ten years later The Terrifying were still going strong with all the original line up and had sprouted a lot of copy-cat bands as often happens when a band brings something new to the music scene.
The band were known for partying hard after gigs and the stories one read in the paper made me wonder if Tobias didn't have a split personality, for he was a far cry from Toby Terror.
Tobias had started a band because he loved music and if he could make money from that all the better. However he hated the fame element of it all, that's why he hid away when he could. He was surprisingly successful at it, no one had ever found him here so this had remained his safe little haven.
"Only ok?" I teased.
He shrugged and ran his finger along the rim of his glass.
"I'm having a little trouble finding the tone for the latest album." He admit lowly.
"You are?" I asked.
He nodded his head before placing his elbow on the top and resting the side of his head on his hand and looking at me.
"I feel a lot of pressure for this one." He said. "Usually there's no deadline for a new album, the longer you leave the fans waiting the more eager they are to hear it. However our manager thought it would be great if I could whip up a new one, you know, for our tenth anniversary."
"But was that not seven years ago?" I asked with a frown.
"That's what I told him, but he said the formation of the band didn't matter, what mattered was what the fans saw as our anniversary. So there you have it. I got a deadline to have this album out by the end of the month and I feel like my muse has left me." He finished despondently. "I guess ten years is good in this business."
"Seventeen." I corrected. "This is merely writer's block. I'm sure you will manage an album as brilliant as your…um…third?" I finished lamely, not quite remembering which of his seven platinum selling albums had been considered his greatest work.
"Thanks Esther. I think you meant my fifth." He said with a small smile. "But I don't know if you'd really be a good judge, you've never heard any of my music."
"Yes I have." I said firmly.
He gave me a dubious look.
"I have." I repeated.
"So which one's your favourite?" He asked.
"That one about the…devil and…death and darkness." I invented quickly.
He gave a snort.
"You've really never listened to my music have you?" He stated with a grin.
I shrugged with an embarrassed smile.
"I don't write about that stuff." He said with a shiver.
"But I thought you were a Goth band." I said with a frown.
"New Goth." He said haughtily. "We can be dark without brining the devil into it."
"Ok. So what do you sing about?" I asked cautiously.
"Well since I'll never get you to actually listen to my music, perhaps you'd read the lyrics?" He asked.
"No harm in reading lyrics." I conceded.
"Good." He said with a smile as he went to the table to retrieve a folder. "There." He said, placing it in front of me reverentially. "The entire back catalogue of Tobias Hannigan. You should consider yourself lucky. There's many who would pay handsomely just to touch this."
"I do." I agreed as I opened the hard front cover.
I glanced down at the first page and I could feel Tobias watching my face, looking for my reaction. I started to scan down the words of the first song. It was as much as I expected, a dark depiction of unbearable life packaged skilfully in emphatic poetry. I turned to the next song that was much the same, only this was bemoaning the incomprehension of those around you as to the pain you felt.
I knew it was the third song he wished me to read for I heard his intake of breath as I turned to that song. I barely had chance to read the title when the doorbell went, indicating our food had arrived.
Tobias let out a groan as he straitened up.
"Just…just hold it right there." He pleaded. "Don't read it until I'm back." He added as he grabbed his wallet to go answer the door.
As he left me I knew I couldn't resist.
I looked down at the page in front of me, at the title of that song; Herald the Dawn.
I frowned at why this title should strike a nerve. It seemed, well it seemed familiar although I had never even glanced at his song titles before. I scanned the lyrics and a few words jumped out: Bronze angel…copper goddess…drowning in chocolate…you herald the dawn, every morn…
I straitened up slowly and brought my head up until I was gazing over at his far wall. I felt an odd chill fall over me as the words sank like lead through the jelly of my mind. The words flowed like a love poem in their rhythm, and if you read the meaning…
Could it be…
Could it possibly be?
"Is this about me?" I asked in a flat voice when he came to the breakfast bar with food containers.
His cheeks went red as he glanced down at what I was reading. He gulped and looked away, turning it into a motion as if he was searching out a serving spoon as he began to dish out the food.
"What would you say if it was?" He asked in a mumble, not looking up.
"Then I'd have to ask, how long have you felt this way?" I said in as steady a voice as I could manage.
His hazel eyes flickered up to meet mine, lingering for a moment before he dropped his eyes and wrinkled his nose as he gave a laugh.
"Of course it's not about you." He said, not meeting my eye again as he became busy with serving out the food. "The whole World doesn't revolve around you Esther Black."
I raised one of my eyebrows as I regarded him speculatively with those lyrics whirling around in my head. Could it be that Tobias harboured such thoughts for me? Was it possible?
I bit my lip as I looked deep inside my own feelings.
Would it be such a bad thing if he did?
I rose from the stool and rounded the breakfast bar quickly. I came up beside him and I placed my hand over his that held the spoon.
"Are you sure it's not about me?" I asked intensely.
Tobias looked up into my eyes and he suddenly looked nervous, and worried and possibly sorry he'd asked me to read his work.
"Because if it was I'd be flattered. A song written by the great Toby Terror about me? How could I not be?" I asked softly.
He frowned for a moment, "Are you being serious?" He demanded.
"When do I ever joke?" I asked bluntly.
"Not often." He conceded.
"How about never?" I prompted.
"So you don't mind that I wrote a song about you?" He asked uncertainly.
"Of course I don't. What girl wouldn't be flattered to have a song written about them? Especially under the skilful hands of such a talented song smith." I said sincerely.
"So you don't mind?" He asked locking his hazel eyes on mine.
My eyes were trapped by his and I couldn't look away even if I wanted to. I felt as if I was drowning in those pools of ever changing shades. Light brown, muddy green, grey, true hazel…his eyes changed through that spectrum often. Right now they were a light sandy brown that had he been out in the bright sun would have revealed the gold flecks hidden in his iris. I took an unsteady breath and his scent swam in my head, it was something that was fundamentally him and could not be concealed by even the strongest of perfumes.
"Not at all." I whispered as I was drawn closer into those pools.
Both our breaths came unsteadily now as we were drawn closer until my lips brushed his. Perhaps his lips brushed mine. Our lips brushed and we both gasped and I had a renewed interest in looking into his eyes as I tried to indicate that I held no objections. At the same time I was trying to convey that this was merely foolishness if he did not feel the same way.
I think we each realised at the same time that our feelings were mutual for suddenly his arms were around me as I enfolded him in mine, pulling him tight against me as our lips met once more. Our lips worked against each other, and as our breaths mingled in quick gasps I realized that this is where I belonged. My home was in his arms and I never wanted to leave.
Then his breath stopped against mine and he was absolutely still in my arms. I pulled my mouth from his and looked at him questioningly, wondering if this was not what he wanted after all. However his lips were parted slightly, frozen in the motion of kissing with his eyes lightly closed.
"Wow. Glad I wasn't a few minuets later." A voice said behind me.
I strained to turn with Tobias frozen arms locked around me, but I could just make out Lileth standing behind me with what could only be described as a leer on her painted face.
"Let me help you with that." She said sweetly and clicked her fingers.
Suddenly I was standing next to her and Tobias was left frozen, embracing and kissing nothing but air. I looked at him in astonishment, frozen as he was. I turned to the Goth Girl beside me as she also looked at Tobias, her face was thoughtful as she regarded him with her head on one side.
"Hmmmm." She said in an analytical way. "You don't suppose your subconscious is trying to tell you something?" She mused. "But if not, I don't blame you for this little fantasy, he's very cute." She grinned, and nudged me with a bony elbow.
"Yes. And things were just starting to get interesting between us. Now if you have something to say then do so. However if you are merely here to annoy, please leave now so that I may continue with this that has been a long time coming." I said tersely.
"Temper, temper." She tsked. "Actually this is very worrying. You've created quite a world for yourself here little Dream Weaver, and I can see why you don't believe me. In all the years I've been dream walking I've never come across a world as vivid as this." Her tone became saddened as she turned her ice-blue eyes on me. "You have this wonderful dreamscape and a world full of confusion and pain out there. A double whammy, no wonder you don't want to go home."
"I am home." I said indignantly.
"No. You're not." She said firmly with a smirk. "You just think you are because you like it here so much."
"I am home." I repeated in a small voice.
"You just keep telling yourself that." She said sarcastically as she tapped me on the shoulder. "Actually don't." She added quickly. "The more you tell yourself this is real the less likely you are to leave."
"Leave where?" I demanded.
"Your head silly." She said with a snort, as if I were slow on understanding something that was obvious. "Now, I don't like doing this. But I have to take drastic action." She said in grave tones. "I'm sorry, so very sorry."
As she said those words I felt an odd sense of dread descend over me.
"The only way you'll want to leave is if everything starts falling apart for you." She explained grimly. "So as much as it pains me to do this." She said as she held up her hand ready and sighed. "It's for your own good…"
With those words she snapped her fingers.
I awoke with that sick feeling in my stomach you get when you know you've overslept. I turned over and sat up quickly, shooting a quick glance at my bedside clock. My stomach sank even further at the display, I should have been at the studio an hour ago, and I should be running through the days schedule at this very moment. Without another thought I leapt from my bed and headed for the bathroom.
I raced through the back stage area of the studio with a cup of coffee in one hand my notes in the other as Hannah the makeup lady added the finishing touches on the move. I sipped my coffee and read the notes on the latest traffic report as I scurried up behind my desk.
"Esther, there's something you should know." Marlin whispered in my ear urgently.
"We're about to go on air." I pointed out as I hid my coffee cup on a shelf in the desk and placed my notes in front of me.
"Esther, you need to…" Marlin began.
"I thought you were the producer?" I snapped.
"Yes."
"Well go produce." I said absently as I read over the page of the first story.
"You're so gonna wish you listened to me." Marlin muttered as she moved to the area behind the camera just as the lights dimmed so they could be brightened once the News had began.
I shook my head minimally, but composed myself as the theme tune kicked in.
Mike and I ran through the first stories with no variation from the norm, but it was as we were nearing the sports section that he said in a smooth voice,
"And now onto our new Entertainment segment with our very own Olivia Johnson." He announced.
My mind reeled and I wanted to rave and shout about this, but we were live on air. All I could do was keep my prat smile as the lights came up on a hitherto unused corner of the studio to illuminate Olivia in an outfit that was highly inappropriate for such a well-respected conservative television studio.
"Thank you Mike. And Esther." It was quite clear that my name was deliberately tacked on and it grated on my sensibility as a serious newsreader that she could deliver such a low and obvious blow live on air. Especially since I could do no more than to sit there and seethe.
She started blathering on about superficial celebrities in their superficial lives, and it made me wonder how she'd managed to snag this segment. Our viewers had never shown interest in such an area and Olivia had all the charisma of a skunk in a room full of rotten eggs. I ground my teeth against all the expletetives that rose to my mouth over her whole attitude toward this almost laughable 'news'. Was the fact that Rosalie Hale, the famous super model, had bought a pair of ridiculously priced red shoes as important as yet more of our soldiers dying in a thankless war? Yet Olivia assumed this to be the case.
I shuffled my papers and blew at a few wisps of stray hair as I waited for the tedium to be over.
"…Esther Black showing that even serious News Reporters can get down and dirty." It was the mention of my own name that finally brought my attention to her inane prattle. "If this armature footage is anything to go by then our resident bronze haired angel is a closet party animal. And could the mystery dark haired hunk seen here with her be Toby Terror, legendary front man of Goth band The Terrifying?" She declared in a purr as shaky footage so obviously filmed on a cell phone showed on the screen behind her.
I narrowed my eyes and furrowed my brow as I tried to make sense of the grainy image as loud thumping drum beats and wailing guitars came flatly over the studio sound system. There was a soft almost hypnotic voice that sang in a contrasting melody to the heavy beat and I felt a shiver down my back as I realised it was Tobias singing, or to be more precise Toby Terror.
As another voice sang over the top, out of tune with drink and stumbling over the unfamiliar song the fuzzy image finally swam into focus.
On the screen in those pixel shadows was me. I was up on Tobias' breakfast bar wearing nothing but hot pants and a vest top as I gyrated along to that unfamiliar song swigging tequila strait from the bottle. Then I was motioning someone up onto the top with me as I giggled. A figure climbed up onto the top and I immediately recognised Tobias by his dark messy curls. Well who else would it have been?
I felt my cheeks grow warm as my body grew cold while the couple on the screen began to dance a lot closer than people who were merely friends would find comfortable. It was as the image cut off that I realised that I had to do damage control, and fast. Olivia had planned this well and if I reacted in the wrong way then I'd confirm her story.
I quickly composed my face as she finished off her piece with a comment on how they couldn't show any more on live TV for it was too explicit. I drew an amused smile onto my face as Olivia handed back to Mike and I.
"Well it seems you had quite the wild weekend." Mike remarked jokingly.
"Oh but if that footage were real." I said pleasantly back, "I would be known as a right party animal. Unfortunately for our new Entertainment Correspondent," I said, inserting the capital letters deliberately. "That is not me in the video and she should check her sources before going to press. It is a mistake any newbie can make, but she should be careful, if it were anyone but me they would most likely sue for defamation of character."
"So it's not you?" Mike asked in a confused voice, losing his entire news anchor persona.
"That is not me in that video." I said emphatically.
I kept my grin fixed as the executive producer started yelling in my ear, and I realised he had been for some time. Clearly he thought I had chosen the wrong time to voice my objections, but I didn't care.
"Ok." Mike said uncertainly, hearing the same rage in his ear. "Now for the sport." He added in a bright brittle voice before relaying the sports news from yesterday.
We rounded everything up and I held my smile until the bell rang to indicate that we were off air. I ripped out my earpiece and shot to my feet.
"What the hell?" I demanded. "Is somebody really that stupid as to put up such an obvious piece of make believe and sell it as news?"
"Wow Esther, it's almost as if you're on the defensive there." Olivia observed with a smirk.
I ground my teeth and resisted the urge to punch her.
"Err…Guys." Marlin said in an urgent whisper.
But off air Marlin was my friend not my producer so I could ignore her if I wanted.
"Of course I'm not. I've nothing to be defensive about." I shot back.
"Will you please listen." Marlin interjected.
"Come on Essie, there's nothing wrong with letting your hair down." Olivia goaded.
"Just as you do with Mike every day in his dressing room after filming?" I demanded, indicating Mike who looked about ready to make a quick get-away.
"You little bitch!" Olivia screamed and lunged at me.
"YOU ARE STILL ON AIR." Marlin called out with her hands around her mouth.
This distracted me enough to misjudge my block of Olivia's hand and I felt her blood red manicured nails drag down my face leaving four burning trails in their wake. I hissed in pain and thrust my hand, palm upwards into her nose. I felt the tissue give way and she let out a squeal as she reeled away from me, her hands clutched to her nose.
I could feel the blood start to trickle down my cheek as I glowered at her.
"No one hurts me, especially cheap little whores like you who can only get on television by sleeping their way on screen." I hissed at her as she wailed about her nose, her beautiful nose.
A shocked silence ran around the studio as everyone regarded me open mouthed. I had never acted with such passion before, in fact I had earned the nickname of 'Ice Maiden' amongst those who did not know me outside of work for my usual icy demeanour. It was at that point I realised that in most of their minds I had confirmed the footage on the tape. It had to be real if it had upset me so much.
I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked around into Marlin's worried face.
"Ted wants to see you." She said in an ominous voice.
I ignored the crowed around the door as I stepped out into the cool autumn day with the big box in my hand. There was always a crowed wanting to get a picture of some celebrity or other and I had learned to ignore them long ago. Usually I went by unnoticed, until today…
"Miss Black do you have any comment?" Somebody asked, thrusting a microphone into my face.
I blinked, struck dumb with shock as the camera light blinded my eyes. Comment on what? Had anything happened while I was in Ted's office having a right telling off? What could have happened that the opinion of a disgraced former newsreader counted.
"Is it true you've never liked Olivia?"
That question made a little more sense, but I couldn't understand what all this excitement was for. Why did my views of Olivia Johnson merit every news crew in the city to converge on me?
"Have you ever met her?" I snapped. "Olivia is only interested in befriending those who can further her career. Since I am no longer in the business of news I no longer have to fear that friendship."
"Wait a minute, have you been fired?" A voice asked a little gleeful for my liking from behind me.
I spun around to face the perpetrator.
"What do you think?" I said savagely.
"Has Olivia been fired?" Another person asked, in a more professional voice, and I turned to find Hannah Chaney, our reporter for the six o'clock news looking at me in sympathy.
"No. She is to replace me." I replied tartly.
"But she struck you first." Liz Sawyer of our rival station pointed out.
"Indeed she did." I said, the marks on my face were still burning. "But I'm not the one screwing Ted Wilcox." I said venomously, and I didn't care what trouble it caused as the media beast around me delighted in my statement as some of them took out cell phones and began speaking into them quickly.
I had just caused a media frenzy and made to leave, I was clear of the mass and nearing the parking lot when I was stopped by yet another camera crew. The reporter was in her early twenties, and dressed in the latest fashion and her hair and make-up was too trendy for a serious news reporter.
"Hi, Jenny Greenfeld, E!News. I was wondering if you'd answer a few questions?" She asked cheerfully.
"Depends on the questions." I answered, my guard immediately up.
"Ok. Got the camera's rolling?" She asked over her shoulder and the cameraman gave her the thumbs up. "This is my first big story." She said excitedly, a grin stretched across her face before she turned to the camera. "Hey, big News today on Seattle TVs Breakfast News when lead anchor Esther Black got into a cat fight with former weather girl and new Entertainment Reporter Olivia Johnson live on air. I'm here with Esther right now who's gonna tell us a little more about it.
"So Esther, what happened?" She asked as she thrust the mike into my face.
"Well I wouldn't call it a cat fight as such." I conceded. "She tried to blacken my name, I objected, we had words, she scrammed me so I broke her nose."
"I know! I saw the footage! Where did you learn to do that?"
"Self defence classes. Every woman should take them." I said firmly.
"In case former weather girls attack?" Jenny said brightly, and I couldn't decide if she was being bitchy or dim.
"She wounded me first." I said firmly, keeping to my story.
"So was the vt that this is all over real?"
"That film was a fabrication. She hired someone who looked like me in order to defame me. She has been after my job for years, and now she finally has it." I finished bitterly.
"God she's a bitch!" Jenny exclaimed and I raised my eyebrows at her. "Oops! I guess I'll have to edit that bit out."
"Most likely." I agreed sympathetically.
"I don't know how they can just get rid of you though. You're the best out of us and they're gonna replace you with a dim bit of fluff like her." She shook her head appalled. "It was you who inspired me to go into journalism."
"Really?" I asked touched, it was good to hear.
"Yah. So we'll just have to see how it goes." She said with a hopeful smile.
"You're doing well so far." I said in encouragement.
"Thanks." She smiled, then cleared her throat. "So are the rumours about you dating Toby Terror true?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." I said primly, before walking away.
I tuned out her please for me to return to her as I made my way to my car. This was crazy, how could my life be going so bad so quickly?
Tobias was leaning against his doorjamb as I stepped off the elevator feeling wretched. I looked into his face and felt guilty, you could hear the roar of the crowed camped outside even eight floors up. This had been his sanctuary, a place where he was safe from the screaming and the chanting, but now thanks to me his fans had found this place. It was just a blessing the building had such a good security team.
I dropped my head in shame, not able to meet his eye.
"I'm sorry." I murmured, and shuffled my way to my apartment, unlocking the door with hands made clumsy by the box.
I shuffled inside, throwing my keys into the dish by the door and dumping the box over the back of my sofa. I removed my coat slowly and threw that over the back too. I turned to close the door, but I never reached it as I felt lips on mine. My eyes widened for a moment in shock, but then I returned the kiss.
I hissed and my hand flew to my cheek as the movement of the kiss pulled at my healing tissue.
Tobias looked at me with a frown then reached out carefully and removed the dressing from my left cheek. He gasped and ran his fingers lightly along my jaw-line, under the lines on my cheek.
"Is this what she did?" He asked in a voice tinged with anger.
I nodded my head and I felt him press his lips to the highest point of my cheekbone where her nails hadn't touched.
"I broke her nose." I said because I couldn't think of anything else.
He looked at me then, trying to ascertain how serious I was.
"Good." He said nodding his head firmly.
I laughed at his reaction which made my check hurt again.
"Marlin said you were fired." He stated.
I nodded again, my face falling.
"Don't you have a contract?" He asked.
"Not a very good one." I said, pulling away from him and going to switch on the kettle to make some coffee. "Where the hell did that footage come from? That's what I'd like to know." I said as I slammed two cups onto the counter.
"I could hazard a guess." Tobias said lowly and his eyes flickered to the wall I shared with Harry.
"But Harry wouldn't do that to us." I whispered, feeling my stomach lurch.
"Harry wouldn't, but what about his little 'guest' he had over." Tobias pointed out.
I thought of the blond that had been draped over Harry like a scarf, I hadn't really seen her face.
"It could have been Olivia." I said as the realization hit me like a bucket of cold water.
Tobias was silent all the while I finished making the coffees and I didn't say anything because it looked as if he were thinking hard about something. I placed the cups in front of him then walked around it to sit next to him. I pulled my cup to me and he placed his hands either side of his.
"Our only choice now is to go public." He said without looking at me.
I nearly choked on my coffee.
"What?" I gasped.
"If we go public we'll stop the rumour mill before it gets out of hand."
"But what exactly do we go public with? What is this between us?" I asked with a frown.
"What do you want it to be?" He asked as he turned earnest eyes on me.
I awoke to the sound of someone tutting in disapproval. I realized that I'd been lying on a warm chest that was slowly rising and falling with the rhythm of sleep. I could hear the heart beat steady and at rest. I sat up in a state of shock as my mind whirled with the remembrance of the night before while I sought out the source of the tutting.
The Goth Girl was back, her arms tightly crossed and shaking her head.
"Honestly little Dream Weaver, you're really starting to bug me." She said peevishly. "I try and make things difficult for you so you'll want to leave, and what do you do? Reweave the dream so it's all peachy. I think I'm gonna have to be a little more direct now." She said sternly and clicked her fingers.
Suddenly I was standing in the hallway I shared with Tobias and Harry. I looked down at myself in fright, but thankfully I was wearing clothes.
"I'm not here to embarrass you Dream Weaver, just to bring you home." The Goth Girl said, placing her skinny arm around my shoulders. "Now tell me. Have you ever been in there?" She asked, pointing to a shadowy corner.
"There's nothing there." I said firmly.
"So you've never been in the fourth apartment?" She queried.
"There is no fourth apartment." I snapped, but I felt this strange feeling creep over me when I said it. It brought back memories from childhood of when you are trying to convince yourself that there are no monsters in the closet, but how can you be sure? That was the feeling I had.
"Doesn't that strike you as funny?" She asked.
"Not at all." I replied flatly.
"Think about it." She said, "You, Tobias and Harry all have apartments on this floor, am I right?"
I nodded my head.
"And they're all the same size?"
I nodded again.
"But there are only three of you."
"And?"
"Where's all that space disappeared to?" She asked simply.
I felt my brow furrow as I thought on this.
"Concentrate Essie, you can do it." The Goth Girl encouraged.
I looked at for a moment then returned my attention to the shadowy corner. I frowned with my concentration as I felt the sweat begin to bead on my forehead. I could just make out something, as if I were seeing images in a cloud but it wasn't clear. I squinted to try and bring it into further focus, but that didn't help either. I blinked my eyes a couple of times to begin again and I was starting to see the outline of the door.
"That's it, that's my girl." The Goth Girl whispered excitedly.
Now it wasn't just an outline, there was also shadow and form as the door solidified into reality. There was definitely a door there so there should be an apartment behind there.
"Esther what are you doing out here?" Tobias asked in a sleepy voice.
The door wavered as I turned to look at him.
"Don't look Essie, it's your mind trying to draw you back." The Goth Girl said in an urgent voice. "Look at the door. Look at the door."
I turned back to the door and concentrated on making it real.
"Esther?" Tobias said urgently and grabbed my hand.
I turned to look at him and my concentration broke.
The Goth Girl groaned and slapped her forehead in exasperation. I was only minimally aware of this, as I was lost once more in hazel pools. Tobias wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close to him as my breath quickened. Our lips met and I was lost in that kiss.
I was only vaguely aware of the Goth Girl muttering, "Fine, I guess you want to carry on with the hard way." And she snapped her fingers.
"So the rumours are true then." A voice barely contained on the edge of rage observed.
I pulled away from Tobias and looked around quickly to find Harry glaring at us in fury. Why was Harry so angry?
"I guess." I said unsteadily.
"So how long has this been going on?" He demanded.
"It hasn't." I snapped. "It's only just started."
"How stupid do you think I am?" He demanded. "No wonder you were never interested in me when all the time you were carrying on with short, pale and scary here."
"Now that was a good insult." Goth Girl observed from the sidelines. "What's your comeback?"
I ignored her as I sneered at Harry.
"That. That right there is why I prefer Tobias. Because he thinks before he speaks." I returned tartly.
"This is better than the movies." Goth Girl observed and she'd acquired popcorn from somewhere.
"Esther maybe you should wait 'til you've both calmed down a little." Tobias said in a soothing voice.
"No. This Neanderthal needs to learn a few home truths." I snapped.
"You go girl." Goth Girl laughed.
"Maybe, but now is probably not the best time." Tobias pointed out.
"Don't listen to him Essie. Tell Harry what you really think." Goth Girl cheered me on.
"Just shut up and stay out of this." I snapped without thinking.
"Fine." Tobias snapped throwing his hands up in the air. "Because this has nothing to do with me." He added as he stormed into his apartment and slammed the door behind him in shock.
"They can't see me." Goth Girl said smugly and I glared at her. "It's for your own good." She promised me.
I was angry with her and angry with myself, but most of all I was angry with Harry.
"I don't know what you're so upset about." I hissed coldly not looking at him. "Look at all the women you cavort here every weekend. A different woman every week without a thought to the feelings of anyone else. Now you get touchy because Tobias and I have entered into a serious relationship?" I shook my head. "It's not right."
"Do you think that maybe I was compensating? That maybe it was you I wanted?" He demanded.
"Then you should have done the manly thing and just told me." I cut him off before he could say anymore. "Now leave me alone." I said, turning to the shadows in the corner. "I'm trying to find the apartment."
"But your apartments there." Harry said in confusion pointing at my open door.
"Not my apartment." I snorted. "The apartment. The fourth apartment I must find if I wish to get home."
"Are you feeling ok?" He asked.
"Shhh! You're distracting me." I said in a mesmerised voice. "Just go, go do whatever it is you do when I'm not around."
"That's right Essie. You're doing it, push them away, push them away." Goth Girl encouraged as she took my hand.
I smiled at her and looked back at the shadows, but now there was a door there. Definitely another apartment.
"You did it!" Goth Girl exclaimed as she led me toward the door.
"Esther, where are you going?" Harry asked in a frightened voice.
"I'm going home." I declared as I reached out to open the door.
"That's right." Goth Girl cooed as the door swung open at my touch.
Brilliant bright white light spilled out and I stepped into it…
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I know this was a bit of a departure, but it will be back to normal in the next chapter.
Thank you for reading, please review,
Gemma x