So I wrote most of this last night, I needed something to distract me from the flashbacks from the chapter before. So I wrote this.

Olivia sat on the couch in the hotel suite, next to Trevor, cuddled up next to him. She'd only left the hotel room to go to therapy, and when Trevor wasn't there every lock on the door was locked and she often locked herself in the bathroom. Because he couldn't bear the fact that she'd stay in the bathroom for hours, he took a leave of absence from work, and tried to run any errands while she was in therapy so he didn't have to leave her alone. She was barely sleeping at night, and during the day she could only sleep if Trevor was holding her. Her eyes had drifted shut as he held her, rubbing her arm. A month had passed, but she still felt damaged. She didn't feel like herself. She stirred and looked at Trevor. "Hey." Her ring was back on her finger, where it belonged.

Trevor kissed the top of her head. "You hungry?"

She looked at him. "Not really, but I should try to eat something." She sat up and rested her elbows on her knees. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm sorry I'm still so broken." She looked at him.

He kissed her shoulder. "You aren't broken. You're healing."

Olivia Lernout a sardonic chuckle. "Trevor I haven't been able to kiss you in a month. If that's not broken—" she wiped her eyes, her bruises on her face healed. "I haven't been able to kiss you, to let you touch me. I can't even touch you, or even undress in front of you. Trevor!" She ran her hands through her hair. "If this is healing then healing is shit!"

Trevor held her arms. "Olivia, breathe."

She lost out a breath. "I'm sorry, I just… I want to make love to you. I want to kiss you." She looked at him and felt tears in her eyes. "I want you, Trevor. I don't know how to get my mind and my body on the same page." She ran her fingers through her hair. "And what if you see me naked and aren't attracted to me anymore?"

He kissed her temple. "That's never going to happen." He rubbed her back. "But I'll go at your pace. Whenever you're ready to show me. Whenever you want to try to kiss me, or make love, just say the word."

Olivia smiled and rested her head against his. "Thank you for being so patient," she whispered. "Thank you for being here. I must drive you crazy."

Trevor took her hand in his. "In the best way," he smiled and caressed her cheek, feeling her nuzzle into his hand. "I'll always be right here."

She smiled and pulled back, holding both his hands in hers. "I'm going to try to kiss you. Just hold my hands, okay," she took a deep breath and leaned in and softly pressed her lips to his, her eyes closed. She held the kiss for a few moments, placing several chaste kisses on his lips after. She looked into his eyes and let out a breath. "I'm okay," she smiled and let out a laugh. "Trevor, I'm okay. I kissed you and nothing bad happened." She let out a breath and cuddled into him again. "I'm really going to be okay, aren't I?"

He smiled. "You're going to be okay." He whispered. "It may take time, but you'll get there." He held her hands. "And I will be here every step of the way."

Olivia smiled back. She caressed his face and brought her lips back to his, she moved so she was sitting on his lap, kissing him slowly. She broke the kiss and tucked her head under his chest. "I love you, Trevor. Thank you." She listened to his heartbeat.

Trevor ran her fingers over her back. "Anything for you."

She stood up and took his hand. "I want to show you. If I'm ever going to get the point of intimacy again, if we are ever going to get there again, you need to see what he did to me." She stood in the middle of the room with him, giving herself a clear path to the bathroom of she started to panic. She took a deep breath. "Ready?" She saw him nod and she closed her eyes, taking her shirt off, pushing her yoga pants down, leaving her in a bra and panties. Her scar ridden skin in clear view. She swallowed hard. "Mostly cigarette burns," she said, looking at her chest. "But this," she ran a finger over the cut on her thigh. "Right before he took me out to the trunk of his car, he pulled my pants down. I thought he was going to rape me. But he cut me. I didn't even realize he did it until we were in the beach house when he took me to the bathroom. He had my hands tied behind my back, he had to… help me. I saw the cut then, but it didn't really register. It didn't register until the hospital." She looked at the floor and her face contorted in tears. "He ruined my body," she cried and fell into his arms. She'd lost weight since the ordeal, so much so that he was afraid if he held her too tightly she'd snap in half. She wasn't eating much, and when she did, more often than not, she'd wind up so upset she'd end up throwing up.

He lifted her chin and looked into her eyes. "He did nothing of the sort. Scars mean you survived whatever it is that tried to kill you." He kissed her cheek. "I still think you're the most beautiful woman in the whole world. There's scar creams to help fade them, if not get rid of them all together if that's what you want. But baby, you don't need it."

Olivia looked at him. "You'd still make love to me, looking like this."

Trevor caressed her face. "When you're ready, absolutely. All night if you wanted. But I want you, no, I need you to be sure. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to retraumatize you."

She smiled. "I know." She ran her fingers over his chest. "Soon. But right now, just…" she shrugged. "Love me."

He smiled. "Forever."

Olivia smiled. "So, I want to be able to make love to you before we get married. Otherwise, our honeymoon will be just a normal vacation with no sex." She looked up at him.

Trevor smiled. "You know that doesnt matter to me. But I will wait for you, as long as I have to. Forever."

She wrapped her arms around him. "Kiss me." She felt his hands on her back and she moaned softly, their lips meeting, kissing each other slowly, but with every ounce of passion in the world.

He broke the kiss and put distance between them. "Liv," he looked down, his erection evident. He saw her breath speed up. "Let me go take care of it," he whispered. He slowly walked to the bathroom. She climbed under the blankets, only her eyes poking out from behind the blanket while she waited for Trevor to come out of the bathroom. Trevor was quick, and quiet, stroking himself to climax. He cleaned up and washed his hands, walking back out. He moved to the bed and climbed in. "It's okay. I'm here."

Olivia looked at him. "I— my body, my body got you hard?"

Trevor kissed her temple. "You always have," He whispered. He held her. "I'm sorry it caused you anxiety." He kissed her forehead.

She nodded. "I was just taken aback. The last—" she shook her head. "The last bulge i saw was Lewis. But even more so, I didn't think that, after what he did, that anyone would find my body arousing."

He smiled. "I will always find you arousing." He turned her face and kissed her softly, feeling her hand in the back of his head, their kiss growing in passion. She pulled away quickly and gasped. "Hey, what's going on?"

Olivia looked at him, her eyes wide. "I— I'm wet." She looked at him. "I feel like a virgin again. I don't—" she took his hand. "I don't know what to do."

Trevor wrapped his arms around her. "Do you want me to help." He searched her eyes and she slowly nodded.

"Maybe just over my panties, right now." She said looking at him. "Can we see how that goes first?"

He nodded and gently ran his fingers over her panties, rubbing her clit. He heard her breath shake. "Okay?"

Olivia nodded and moaned softly. "Oh, that feels good." She opened her mouth. "Ah, mm, right there."

Trevor smiled and they brought their lips together. He heard her moan again and he groaned. "I love hearing you."

She held him. "Mm, harder," she felt him comply with her wishes. "Oh, Trevor!" She arched into him. "Baby," she whispered. She held his wrist, grinding her hips into his hand. "Oh yeah!"

He smiled and kissed her passionately, her legs clenching around his hand. He moaned and smirked after her hips relaxed. "Good?"

Olivia panted. "Oh, Trevor." She closed her eyes. "I'm really, really okay?"

Trevor smiled. "You're really okay." Olivia wrapped her arms right around him and cried into his neck. "Shh, shh, shh."

She pulled back and wiped her eyes. "I thought he broke me. I thought he changed me. I just—"

He held her close. "What he did may have changed you, but he did not break you."

Olivia smiled. "That felt really, really good." She climbed on top of him, straddling him, a familiar feeling rising in her belly. "I feel like me again." She felt his hands on her hips. She kissed him passionately, her hips slowly moving, involuntarily. She gasped and looked at him.

Trevor looked into her eyes. "Tell me," he whispered. "Tell me what you want, what you need." He caressed her face.

She turned and kissed the palm of his hand, a small smile on her face, running her hands over his chest. "I want to try," she said gently. "I need to try. This is what's going to help me feel in control. I may even be able to walk out the door alone again." She felt his hands run over her thighs. She bit her bottom lip. "Make love to me, Trevor," she whispered.

He smirked and slowly pulled her down and kissed her, unclasping her bra, taking it off her body, caressing her face, he broke the kiss and looked at her. "You're so beautiful." He sat up with her and caressed her sides.

Olivia climbed off of him, taking her panties off, she slowly undressed him, her hands shaking slightly. Once he was naked she took a deep breath. "I'm okay, I just— I need a minute," she centered herself and then climbed back on top of him. "I need to stay on top, okay?"

Trevor nodded, he kissed her softly, feeling her previously tense muscles relax. He took her hands in his and intertwined their fingers. He broke the kiss and searched her eyes. "Your pace, Liv. Whenever you're ready."

She nodded and lifted up, maneuvering herself over him, sinking down. She moaned as tears started to stream down her face. She smiled and looked at him. She wrapped her arms around him, pressing their bodies together. She moaned and started moving her hips slowly, still playing with how all of this felt in this moment.

He gently held her. "I'm right here," he whispered. He bit back a moan he saw her pull back and search his face, kissing him gently.

Olivia broke the kiss. "This is okay?"

Trevor caressed her face, a smile on his own face. "It's perfect. You are perfect," he whispered and held the back of her head, she started moving faster. She let out a moan and kept eye contact with him. As long as she maintained eye contact with him she was okay.

She moaned and arched into him. "Oh, Trevor." She ran her hands over his chest. "I forgot how incredible you feel inside me." She felt his hands on her hips. She leaned in and kissed him slowly, finding her rhythm with him again. She was conscious of how her body moved and how much of it he saw, but within another few minutes both were moaning. "Oh my God!"

He kissed her again, holding her gently at the center of her back. "I'm so close, I need you to tell me where you want me to come."

Olivia froze and took a deep breath, that word come, the last time she heard it, it was falling from Lewis' lips. She saw his concerned eyes. "I think I'm okay," she whispered. She looked up at him. "Inside me," she whispered.

Trevor nodded. "You're sure?"

She nodded. "Yeah, yeah." She moaned when she felt him hit a sweet spot inside her, she'd forgotten she had them. "Ooh, right there, it's—" she shook her head and smiled. "So good." Her orgasm started to take over. "Oh, I—" she held tightly onto him, riding out her orgasm, feeling his release inside of her. She moaned and fell forward into his chest. She smiled and closed her eyes. "We had sex," she smiled and looked at him. "We did, we just…"

He kissed her softly. "We did. And you're okay. We're both okay. I know one time doesn't mean our sex life is back to normal, but we'll get there, be gentle with yourself."

Olivia nodded. "I really felt like a virgin, Trev. I felt like I didn't know what I was doing," she wiped her eyes. "But it felt so fucking good." She shrugged. "I feel like I'm getting back to who I was before. Even if that's not entirely possible. I just feel— good."

Trevor smiled and kissed her gently. "I'm glad. Now, let's lay down and bask in this. Yeah?"

She nodded, smiling. "Yeah."

A/N: Keep in mind that everyone heals at a different pace. While some may take longer than a month to be intimate, some may take less time. It's completely valid. Leave a review here or on Twitter (couricshargitay).