*RE-WRITTEN*

I've been slipping in and out of consciousness since then. I come back to reality only in small glimpses, the rest my mind is shut off. When I am awake I feel nothing though, no pain, no relief, no fear, nothing. My world is spinning, changing colors, brightening, then shutting down again. The only moments I remember are when the guards offer me water, or when Duen has come to give me more drugs and bread. I've noticed he's been increasing the size of the bread day by day, making me eat more. I don't remember how many times he's been here, I believe maybe six or seven, that means I only have a few more days to go.

"I am here my lord, please wake up so you can drink it," Duen hurries me.

I drink out of the little bottle, by now my body is completely numb, so it isn't hard to swallow or even talk. In this state I don't experience pain. Wait, since when does Duen have blue hair? Or such delicate features? "…Touya?" The whisper of his name slips my lips.

He looks up at me suspiciously, "My lord, why do you confuse me with that soldier?"

I got confused, that is definitely not Touya's voice, it's the way the drugs are playing with my mind. I could recognize Duen's voice in a million, even robotic and distorted as he sounds, because he is the only one I've talked to during these times in hell. "You just … nothing."

I can tell Duen is bothered by it, "Why are you thinking about that low class soldier?"

"He is good looking isn't he?"

"What did you just… WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?! I am here risking my life to help you, so that you and My Lord Yomi, could reach happiness, and while I am here you are thinking of that man? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

The effects of the drugs are making me act in ways I never would in all my senses. "Haha… so I have to be faithful and quiet while he goes around sleeping and sweet talking just about anybody else behind my back?" If it was just sex, I know in the back of my mind, I might not really care. I understand he has desires, and to grab someone, bend them over, and fuck them, means nothing. But it's the thought that he whispers words of love into their ears, words that I know he means, that infuriates me. "I know about Zein, and he is obsessed over Yoko, where does that leave me? Am I supposed to bow my head down and just take it? Am I not allowed to search for my own happiness? To try to find someone that cares? And to be honest, there isn't anything about Touya that I dislike."

Duen relaxes before answering back. "But the law doesn't prohibit anything in that matter, my lord. Lord Yomi is allowed to have as many partners as he pleases, as long as he is fair and able to provide for all of them."

This is all true. I've been away from demon world for so long that I got used to a different society, where only one partner is accepted. Here in demon world, where beings live for thousands of years and power is the law, things like sexuality and sexual relationships are of little to no importance. In human world, for example, couples of the same sex are seen as 'different' by most people. Here, nobody cares who you mate with, female with female, male with male, of female with male. The same with partners and having multiple partners is actually looked upon like a prize only great lords get to experience, because the law says you may be able to have as many partners as you are able to provide for. 'Providing' meaning in every aspect: attention, sex, living expenses, everything. Even time and affection need to be divided upon them equally, like if the lord is to spend way too many nights with one partner and not enough with another one, the abandoned one can file for separation. Or if the lord gives a gift to only one partner or has more favors with some more than others, it could lead to even charges against them. But in the end, multiple partners are allowed and even glorified in this world.

"I will never accept that," he looks at me surprised. "I can't!" I can't because the jealousy and rage are burning in my chest, because I know if I could, I would kill them both at sight.

"My lord, I know you haven't been in this land for many years and that it's going to be hard to grow accustom to-"

"No!" I yell, scaring him a little. "I won't be his second partner!"

"The drugs are taking effect on you, they are making you say things you don't mean. Just try to finish the drink and get some rest." I take a few more swigs out of the bottle.

"Duen, how long has it been?" I ask in a more civilized manner.

"Twelve days my lord, just two more to go," he gives me a fragile smile.

I wonder something. Why if everyone in the kingdom seems to be against me , and everyone obviously prefers Zein, why is it Duen is helping me? I call his name.

"Yes?"

"Why are you helping me so much? If you get caught… and the worst part is that I am letting you do it."

"Lord Kurama, since your arrival I was assigned to serve you, and I grew a liking to you, so what can I do?"

"You're the first."

He appears to understand what I'm saying, he turns away from me, as if what's coming next is painful to explain. "He is nice. He is very very sweat and caring, and he loves him so much. Nobody's told me, I've seen it. I see the way he looks at him, and talks to him. Being with him makes him so happy, and I know he would never do anything to hurt him… but," He turns to me and I see sadness reflected in his face, "It isn't him." I remember Zein's words in the forest, it's never been me, it's always been you… It's always been Kurama! Tension builds up on my throat so I swallow hard, no matter how numb the body, I guess you can't get rid of emotional pain. "For Lord Yomi, it's you. You're the one that makes him happy. And that's why I'll take care of you, because I know I am taking care of him, while taking care of you. I want Lord Yomi to be the happiest he can."

"Yomi is loved by many…"

"Yes, our lord is a very good lord, we are lucky to have him. He doesn't resort to violence or intimidation and he helps us when we need it, we really are lucky to be under his protection. So in return, I the same as many others, have sworn total allegiance."

It's so different to see this side of Yomi, all my memories of him are when he was impatient, young and immature. During my time here I've been so caught up on everything else that I've never stopped to notice that Yomi really is a great king loved by his people. To have an army that is willing to fight and die for him, that just shows how much he is worth.

"What has he been doing lately? How is everything up there?" I ask.

"He's been doing the same thing for the last few years, preparing for the upcoming war."

"That isn't what I mean."

He lowers his head, "Yes, they have been together."

The knot in my throat widens. Duen could never understand jealousy like this, wanting to completely own someone especially of Yomi's caliber. I understand why he thinks I am a fool, anybody would be delighted with being one of the partners of the king, but not me. I want him all, I want to possess him.

"My lord may I suggest something?"

"What is it?"

"Sometimes pride isn't everything."

Yomi's words come to mind, And what good is pride when faced with your biggest weakness? Maybe one day you will love like I do, and then you will see that pride means nothing when it comes to the heart.

"Sometimes it is smarter to bend a little bit here, to gain a little control over here," he continues. "Don't go against him, don't talk back to him. Float like the water in his ocean, do his every will. You will see how soon he will want only you." I can't believe he is telling me this, but if I play like that, wouldn't it make me just like Yoko. He does anything to get what he wants, and he always does. "Don't get mad at anything, just smile and agree. Don't run off, wait in his bed. Everybody loves obedience, bend a little now that times are hard, gain control, and later you will have the upper hand. Now I am not telling you to go manipulate and hurt him, I will never forgive you if you do. What I am saying is he has two other very good looking, very powerful and completely surrendered to him, demons. Of course he rather go have a good time with them than spend time fighting with you. Use your mind, I am surprised you being so up there for everything else don't know anything about bending someone will." Duen shakes his head, I can't help but giggle.

"When it comes to Yomi I lose all my senses."

"I will leave now, but please, consider what I said."

"I definitely will."

He is right, enough of this twisting a turning. It's time to step up and really try to win Yomi's heart.