Wait… what's this? A post credits scene? Duh.
Like I said to those 'mitigator' characters, I returned to my home planet… or what I guess some people might refer to as a so-called 'building.' It'd been one heck of a day for this villain turned… I won't say hero, because what's a hero? Boring as tar, that's what. Let's say anti-hero. Dunno if I'm at the level of hero yet, but who wants any of that malarkey. Whatever I was now, I knew I was mentally and physically drained from the longest Monday of my life. I hadn't even gotten around to washing the smell of week old chunky meat sauce and used diapers off of me. When I made it home I pushed my bedroom door open and lurched inside the darkened room, and in the blink of an eye the hairs on the back of my neck stood up as an icy chill sent shivers down my spine. A sixty degree breeze will hit you like an arctic blast in June, but cold aside I tensed up knowing that I wasn't alone in this room of mine. Some pigeon had apparently blown through the window and was waiting for me, see?
"Come on out, turkey." I says.
"'We're all cartoons'." a pitchy nasally voice broke the silence, quoting what I said to Gerald hours earlier. "You think you're the only one who can break through the fourth wall?"
I looked over towards the window where I saw a shadowy figure's silhouette. He was short of stature, and by his voice he sounded like a real square. And the weirdest part was he had a bizarre almost inhumanly square proportions to match that square personality.
"Who the heck are you?" I asked him.
"Just a humble fry cook." the voice said, then let out a long trilling laugh, roughly akin to the sound of a dolphin. "In my world anyway."
The man stepped out of the shadows to reveal himself as not a man, but some kinda humanoid block of Swiss cheese or something, with big beautiful blue eyes framed by long ladylike lashes; a character with pants as square as his square body.
"Mr. Gammelthorpe, you've just become part of a bigger universe. You're not just a cartoon. You're a Nicktoon. I'm here to tell you about the Nicktoon Movie…"
This hideous little messenger from beyond wasn't alone either. I found myself face to face with some bald kid with glowing blue tattoos stepping out of the shadows, joined by a premature greying teenager with glowing green eyes, two floating little sparkly pixy things, a kangaroo or something with a shirt and no pants, a poorly drawn chihuahua, some horrifying mutant half canine half feline creature, a quartet of reptilian ninjas, and a bunch of dumb babies.
"Cut. Fade to black! Having set the stage for the next chapter in the larger epic saga that will be the Nicktoon Cinematic Universe, I have at last cemented myself as the real hero of this story!" Curly proudly declared as he stood up on top of the purple chaise lounge. The violet attired woman sitting across the room in a large chair had ceased scribbling notes on her pad and just looked at him wide-eyed. She just blinked in response to having heard his entire retelling of the events that had resulted in him being sent to her office.
"Well, Thaddeus…" Dr. Bliss said somewhat cautiously, "You have a pretty vivid imagination. I think we have a lot to work with here. Tell me more..."
The End. Again.
I'd like to thank everyone who's followed me through this entire strange journey. I think I much prefer writing short form slice of life Hey Arnold! stories, but I'm mostly pleased with how this all turned out and I hope you all did too.
Reviews and commentary are always appreciated, and thanks again!