you all were so sad about the last chapter! i am sorry people just wanted a fight so i gave. no worries though everything will work out hopefully. did everyone see the Golden Globes?....yes....yes? well....................did you also happen to come across Zac's hickey?!?!!?!!!!!!!!!!! haha well it really looks like a hickey. i was shocked personally...i guess him and Vanessa had to wait in that limo a long time huh?
December 14, 2008
"What?!"
"You heard me Troy."
"I heard you, but are you serious!?" Troy moved to the door and let Ocean prance out the door before slamming it shut.
"Yes Troy, we have to do something about this."
"About what Gabriella?"
"Us! Our relationship! This baby damn it!!" I said standing up and storming over to Troy." I am so not scared of him right now…must be the hormones.
"Gabriella this isn't that big of a deal,"
"Yes it is Troy, to me!!!!" I tried to look at him but I had so many tears in my eyes that it was rather difficult.
I place my right hand on my forehead catching my breath placing my left on my stomach. I let my right hand run through my hair until my forearm was resting on my forehead and my hand clutched my hair. Even though I tried to calm myself a sob released from my mouth. I felt my legs go numb beneath me but as always not even a second late two arms wrapped around me slowly guiding me to the floor before wrapping tightly around me. I wrapped my right arm around his neck pulled him as close as possible and he did the same.
I stayed in his arms and just cried for what felt like years. I felt safe and protected though. I didn't make a show out of it when I felt tears on my shoulder and he didn't complain about his shirt. Sure this is one of our weaker moments with each other. Troy doesn't cry, like really he never does. Water up sure, when he laughs hard but other than that hardly ever. So for Troy to actually cry means a lot, the fact that he feels comfortable to cry around me is special.
At this moment I feel ten thousand times closer to Troy than I do on a normal day. We were holding onto each other for dear life and hid ourselves from the world. To tell you the truth this makes my birthday worth everything since this proves that we are comfortable and connected. In this together and so much more.
Once we calmed down a bit the sun was surely setting and the party would be at an end soon. I pulled away from Troy and looked at him as a single tear rolled down his handsome face. I leaned forward and kissed it before it fell. I let my lips linger there for a moment before pulling back and looking him in the eyes.
"I don't want to fight Troy."
"I know Brie but you're right-"
"No Troy I'm delusional and naïve and totally hormonal right now. Don't pay attention to what I say." I pleaded with him hoping he'd forget my statement I said while in the moment.
"Gabriella," No.
"We have to think about this-" Shut Up!!!
"You were right-" I LIED!!!!!!
"We aren't going to make it if we're not both on the same page-" Fuck the page!
"I don't want to breakup but…" Troy don't please I'm stupid…
"I think…." I love you Troy
"We need to seriously have a …" I couldn't deal with even a-
"Break."
December 16, 2008
I went through the channels again for the 20th time I swear. Every 7 out of ten I saw was on commercial. The 2 out of ten were about to go on commercial, 1 out of ten were just coming on from commercial. Yes I am that bored. I have a boyfriend I could call but he's in Chicago at the moment freezing his ass off for the rest of the week. Lord knows what him and Chad are up to, they always get in trouble in Chicago for some strange reason.
Ocean is currently with Ryan because she needs a litter dish desperately and Ryan feels that she should be there to help pick the perfect one for her personality. He also felt he should be there with her since he'll be changing her litter at least twice a day since I can't. (Cat shit and pregnant women just don't mix, but now that I've met my Ocean I love her, and can't give her back.) I just agreed and went back to my couch.
I am currently wearing some sweatpants and one of Troy's old Redhawks sweatshirts. My hair currently has a mind of it's own considering it's going wild. I haven't really done much to it but put it in a high ponytail. Though that ponytail has now moved down to my neck loosely.
I'm slouching on the couch with my feet on the table in front of me occasionally wiggling my toes through my socks. I think this is my moment of weight gain. I seriously am sitting here watching SpongeBob surrounded by…food. I'm talking everything in the fridge freezer cabinets and even Troy's peanut butter. I'm not depressed or anything it's just that I have nothing to do. I'm 20 years old and can't find anything to do with myself. I don't know what to do with myself truthfully.
Me and my boyfriend of like six years are on break. School is on break until January 7, 2009. I don't have to go to the hospital but a few times until then. I have to go on Wednesday and on Friday and Christmas for the Christmas party. Then I have to go next year but that calendar hasn't been posted yet. I don't have like a real job or anything to go to. I guess I could go visit Sharpay at the store but that includes getting up, I could go and get some food from Zeke and simply pig out on free food that's good. But even though that's tempting I still have a bag of Doritos to get through.
I considered reading something but I don't feel like getting up and finding a book to read. This sucks….i need something entertaining to do but can't think of anything. I could watch The Notebook but I don't feel like getting up and finding the dvd. God I'm getting lazy! Troy would die watching me right now I mean he can't stand when I lay around doing nothing. He's a real…work out/health freak. God if he could see this food.
I sighed and picked up the remote again flipping through again. You can only handle so much SpongeBob before you just get a tad bit annoyed. Wait why am I watching SpongeBob period? Mom always said that shows like that are what is making kids of this new generation so lazy. Mom.
God why does she have to be so damn stubborn? Well I guess I know where I get that trait from. She could have called though. I mean just sucked it up and picked it up and called. Hell I would have been happy with a message just saying Happy Birthday. You know the day I gave birth to you, or am I officially disowned. I bet she went running to Abuela and told her I turned into a whore or something. Well I can't say what she's doing. She already shocked the shit out of me when she told me to get rid of my baby.
I wonder who the babies going to look like. She'll most likely have amazing blue eyes and…well I actually haven't gotten much further than that. I really want a girl, but a boy would be wonderful too. He could be my little man while Troy is my man. Or maybe I just want both so then I won't have this tug a war.
I'm bored and well that means I should look at Sharpay's sketches for our dresses in the wedding. And sadly it's a short dress, my ankles will be swollen by then. I guess I'll be fine but they'll be so much damn standing ugh I can feel the pain now. I know I'll be crying for Taylor and Chad but I'll be crying mostly for my poor feet.
I reached over and picked up my Seventeen magazine and decided to read the Beyoncé article. I started flipping through then looked back at the place on the couch where I picked it up. I saw the book Troy gave me I smiled slightly and threw the magazine somewhere that way and went to today.
In the movie of our life,
starring you and me.
Hollywood is in for a treat,
wait until they see.
The stage is all ours,
so let's put on a good show.
We act these roles so well,
but they will never know.
Shakespeare seems out of date,
Romeo and Juliet got old.
Baby they have nothing on us,
so let our story be told.
We write romance scenes,
like forever had no end.
It all comes so natural,
with an amazing girlfriend.
We've only gotten started,
the end is far from now.
Nothing can break us up,
not even a broken vow.
People watch the notebook,
is that all Hollywood's got?
Girl, you and me alone,
make those scenes look hot.
They'll write a story one day,
and a movie to go with it.
Just get us to act it out,
It would be the greatest hit.
We may never be Hollywood's hottest,
Brad and Angelina will be in the past.
It will last as long as their careers,
but baby you and I will forever last.
Troy is such a dork! I couldn't help but laugh I mean come on who could be better than Brad and Angelina? I mean Brad is sexy and Angelina is just this superwoman…now how the hell did she have twins then turned around and was a stick? I wonder if she really even carried them. Was she eating, what's her secret? Did she even carry them a full 9 months? To have her trainer.
I then flipped to yesterday the fifteenth.
My clumsy heart has two left feet
It always trips when I see you
It starts to race and skip a beat
My clumsy heart has two left feet
It's starting now to feel the heat
Because of all the things you do
My clumsy heart has two left feet
It always trips when I see you
I stared at the page before rolling my eyes and laughing, Troy is so…gosh! On to the….my birthday. I hesitated slightly when turning the page back but finally did.
A Birthday wish for my special love,
Message sent by the purest dove.
Wishing you happiness and success,
With eternal love, I must profess.
I celebrate your birth today,
A gorgeous princess you always portray.
Best friends and lovers all in one,
We always have the greatest fun.
I only wish the best for you,
New experiences we will always pursue.
On this special birthday, I'll hold you tight,
As our flames of love, begin to ignite.
So I couldn't just write one, you're special so here's numero dos.
My love for you, shall never pause,
Strong and determined with all our flaws.
It endures and doesn't judge,
Never holds a lasting grudge.
Generous, loyal, always kind,
To your outer layer blind.
Surely, opposite of rude,
My beating heart I must include.
On your birthday, my love for you,
From the clouds, a perfect view.
Moments, memories, a year gone by,
I'm here for you, don't you cry.
My love for you, lives by the truth,
Always keeps me, in my youth.
When it sees, our trust and hope,
It climbs and conquers any slope.
I stared at the page re-reading the poems with silent tears cascading down my face. Why the hell didn't I read this? This would have boosted my spirit and I wouldn't have suggested that gosh damn break. This is bullshit! I hate my damn big mouth!!!! I leaned over and grabbed a pillow hiding under a bag of Cheetos and putting it over my face. I took a deep breath before screaming into it and kicking my legs up and down.
"ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
December 17, 2008
I FINALLY got my new scrubs!!!!
I mean I feel so much more comfortable I can move!!! I can breathe!!!! My boobs are free!!! Well for now anyways.
"Are you ready for group?" Emily asked walking into the meeting room and sitting down next to me grabbing her packet and flipping through.
"No! We have to talk about sex and all of that awkward shit." I looked back down writing something down on the paper, Emily looked at me with her eyebrow raised slightly. I looked up slowly at her from under hair. I pushed a piece of hair out of my hair and looked at her confused.
"What?"
"How can you be awkward about sex? You the best example of sex!!"
"Oh shut up!" I rolled my eyes looking back at the packet.
"I'm serious, you're pregnant so I think you should be the one telling about their first time."
"The sheet says we both have to tell."
"fine you go first."
"Oldest first." I said with a smirk.
"Your name is longer." I looked at her with a what the hell look but she just smiled and looked at her packet as the girls came in.
The mini Sharpay came in first, I learned her name is Jessie. A girl with long Juliet type hair's name is really Juliet so I guess that really fits. (The rest of the girls I say you all can make them look however you'd like I don't care get creative;)
"Okay you guys we're going to talk about today…" I got up and walked to the whiteboard in the back of the room and wrote in big letters
S.E.X.
"Oh god," Jasmine whispered putting her hands over her eyes like I was showing a video or something.
"Oh come on it's not that bad, well maybe for me and Em since we have to tell you about our first times..ugh!"
"You didn't have to tell them that part!" Emily hissed at me. I smiled and then stood at my end of the long brown table.
"First off how many of you have had…sex?"
I will say I was shocked when the whole group raised their hand even Juliet raised her hand. I know I was being stereotypical but still…I guess I was in her spot a while ago though. Well I still am.
"Wow well it's fine if you haven't, that's most likely better. Are any of you who are still virgins waiting until marriage?" I looked around and about two girls raised their hands out of the 5 who were virgins.
"Okay abstinence is the way to go, you didn't just decide that because of the Jonas Brothers did you?" I asked eyeing Brittany and Carly teasingly.
"No I don't like them that much anymore. They're really overrated and well they look like girls now well Joe does." Brittany said with a smirk.
"I did it through a church group." Carly said blushing.
"That's fine," I said with a smile. "I used to have a purity ring actually." I confessed looking down.
"You did?" everyone chorused even Emily all having shocked faces glancing at my stomach. I placed my hand on my stomach and laughed lightly.
"Yes I did,"
"Well when you have one of those things aren't you like promising God something?" Jessie asked while chewing her gum and twirling her finger around a lock of her hair.
"Yes, but you know what happened….happened and I can't go back." I said sadly looking down.
"Well was Troy good?" Tiffany asked taking her headphones out of her ears.
"Well…" I looked at Emily who looked interested in my answer. I blushed and looked down. "Yes."
"AH!!! That is fabulous! Now please tell us how your virginity and purity ring went out the door!" Jessie said with a huge grin.
"Uh well, don't you think we need to talk about STD's and HIV's and risk of preg-"
"Honey you already did the last one so now tell us how your first time went!" Tia said leaning forward in her seat.
"Well…it wasn't planned."
"Well is it ever?" Jordin asked as if it was obvious.
"No I mean it really wasn't. Troy had picked me up from school and we went back to his house and watched Anchorman. It's his favorite. " I felt myself blush as the memories of that day came flooding back. "Well his mom was at her friends house and his dad was still at the school. So really anyone could have come home at any time." I looked around at their eager faces and then thought for a moment. What did happen after that….
"But we went to his room and well we started talking about basketball, school, lunch food, clocks, detentions, evil drama teachers, and so on. Well I don't know one thing led to another and we were at it! I didn't even realize we had gone that far until Troy was umm…" I trailed off and looked down awkwardly.
"Oh gosh Gabi it took you that long!!" Emily said giving this strange look.
"Well I'm sorry I was only 16!"
"Emily shut up and let Gabriella finish! Continue. " Jessie said. I nodded and then thought for a moment before talking.
"Well I loved it actually and it wasn't awkward. I know I wasn't Troy's first or anything but I felt….special. but it was embarrassing later."
"why?" Carly asked.
"Because I started bleeding."
"Ugh! I did that too! Ruined the moment entirely." Amanda said rolling her eyes.
"well I ran to the bathroom with the clothes I could find and just cried. I don't know why I was crying though. Was it because I was bleedy, had just broken my agreement with god, had sex during high school even though I wasn't planning that, was happy it was over with, or because I was embarrassed. Maybe it was a mix of all of those." I said frowning slightly earning laughs from everyone.
Apartment
I walked inside to be greeted by Ocean who was sitting on the floor in the hallway.
"Hi girl," I said bending over and picking her up. I carried her the rest of the way to the bedroom and set her on the bed.
"so how was your day with Uncle Ryan?" I asked as I changed. Ocean let out a quick meow and then rest her head on her arm. I laughed lightly and shook my head.
I stripped down to my undies and a loose t-shirt walking to the bed.
"Wanna watch t.v.?" I asked once I got comfortable on the bed and grabbed the remote.
I started going through channels and finally settled on Lifetime. I looked out the window then back at the t.v., but my head quickly turned back to the window. Why can I see out the window? I should only be able to see the window. See me and Troy always leave the curtains closed since you can see our room from the public street which is a set up for disaster.
I crawled over the bed being careful of Ocean and stayed against the wall as I moved towards the curtain closest. I grabbed it and brought it to the center of the large window then grabbed the other curtain and pulled it until both curtains touched and I couldn't see the outside world.
Why the hell were these open? I surely didn't open them. I walked over to my side of the bed and pulled out my iphone and dialed Ryan.
"Hey Love," Ryan answered I rolled my eyes and ran a hand roughly through my hair.
"Did you go in our room?" I asked a little more harshly than I wanted but…hormones?
"No….I wouldn't want to find any of you and Troy's little sex toys again." Ryan said with a laugh.
"No I am fucking serious Ryan, did you come in the damn room?"
"No! Why what's missing?" Ryan asked now alarmed.
"Nothing I just…." I looked over at the window very shaken. "the curtains were open Ryan, you know we don't open those since you can see the room straight from the street." I said feeling myself getting worked up.
"What?!?! Are you serious? Did you open them?"
"I wouldn't be calling you if I opened them?!!" not the time to be dumb Ryan.
"Maybe Shar or Tay came over and-"
"They know that you can see the bed from the street they wouldn't do that! Besides Shar made those curtains and she had a purpose for them."
"Well then we know Ocean didn't do it."
"No shit!" I said now pacing the floor along my side of the bed looking at the window every now and then.
"Well then…If it wasn't me, wasn't you or Shar or Tay, it definitely wasn't Troy. So….who opened the curtain?"
Don't forget to check my page for my updates and favorite pics from the golden globes.