Chapter 21

Daryl watched as Beth bounced Judith on her hip out in the courtyard. They had come for breakfast and the sun was shining down warm, melting all the snow from the day before. Daryl guessed the weather in North Carolina was just as unpredictable as in Georgia. Snowing one day and all of it gone by the end of the next day. Beth's easy way with Lil Ass Kicker was something to see, the way she had stepped back into caring for the little girl just as if no time had passed at all since she had last seen her. For all Judy's misgivings the day before, she seemed to be adjusting just fine today. She was holding onto Beth at every turn and was refusing to get down and try her walking again. Daryl glanced back and forth between Glenn, Maggie, Beth and Tyreese. They had all met this morning to discuss Carol. Tyreese was rubbing his beard thoughtfully.

"Thing is, I know this is going to come as a shock because it did to me, but it was Carol who killed Karen and David back at the prison. She told me about it the night she had to….well it was the night after we had buried Lizzie." He paused and glanced to them.

Daryl looked to Tyreese unsure of how to proceed. He had, of course, known about it from Rick but then everything with the Governor had happened and he hadn't given it much thought since then until now. "Rick told me. Then the Governor and his assholes showed up and well-," Daryl didn't really think he needed to finish the thought.

Tyreese nodded to Daryl and noted that the rest of them stayed silent. "How was she this morning Beth?" Tyreese looked up where Beth was walking back and forth with Judith in the courtyard to distract her from the snow still piled on the table. The little girl was fascinated with it but could not understand why her hand kept getting cold when she touched it for too long. She kept squealing with glee when she got to touch the snow and then would end up whimpering when her tiny fingers got cold. They had been chuckling about it for the past twenty minutes.

"Honestly, it was kind of scary," Beth admitted with a frown. "It's like she's just checked out." Beth sighed.

Daryl nodded at Beth, knowing that this was all really bothering her. She had told him how Carol had snapped at her the night before and at first he was upset. After all, he still hadn't gotten to talk to her about Karen and David yet. It wasn't like he was real anxious to have that conversation but when she came at Beth like that, it just fueled his frustration with her and the person he knew she was deep down. But after he thought about all that she had lost, some of what was happening now made sense. His Ma used to do the same thing except her reasons weren't near as good as Carol's.

"Can you blame her for checking out?" Daryl looked from Beth to the others, letting them mull it over. "She lost her little girl, then for whatever reason she felt she had to take down Karen and David, then she lost the prison just like the rest of us did. If that wasn't enough, she had to kill Lizzie. I don't know about y'all but that'd be enough to do me in." Daryl let out a breath and moved his thumb up to his mouth to chew on the nail which lately had been worn down to almost nothing.

Beth looked over to the edge of the courtyard where Mika was following Rin and Austin around while they cleaned up after breakfast. She was helping them clear the trash out and seemed to be in good spirits after their sleepover last night.

"Daryl's right," Beth whispered. "Mika said this morning after I checked on Carol that she had been crying at night lately. It's too much for her." Beth sighed. "I wish I knew what I could do to help her. I took her breakfast but she didn't even lift her head from the pillow to look at me." Beth rubbed at the scar on her wrist absently and thought briefly to that dark time in her life. Oddly, she couldn't really remember the moment she had cut herself, only the moments after when she wished she hadn't done it and was desperately trying to stop the bleeding. She looked to Maggie who smiled softly at her. The look they exchanged was one between sisters who had overcome that moment a long time ago.

"You know, a wise woman once told me that if a person wants to kill themselves, they are going to do it no matter what you try to do to stop them. They have to want to live." Maggie smiled in Beth's direction and Beth nearly wept with the memory of Andrea, their friend, who had died the last year when the Governor had locked her in a room with a man who was getting ready to turn. Andrea had fought him off for as long as she could and had managed to kill him but not before he got in a nasty bite to her neck. Andrea was the one that Maggie spoke of now. She had been right in her advice to Maggie but at the time, Beth knew Maggie wanted to kill Andrea with her bare hands.

Beth nodded to Maggie, "Then we just have to make sure that she knows that she has something to live for," Beth insisted and they all nodded.

"I'll take her lunch," Maggie offered.

"I'll take Judy and Mika to her room after lunch and see if we can draw her out a bit," Beth looked to Tyreese who studied them thoughtfully.

Tyreese spoke, his voice a little shaky, "I know she did what she did for a reason. A reason she thought was good at the time. But it's just been me and Carol with these kids for a long time now. Before I came upon her, it was just me and the girls. That was fuckin' terrifyin'," Tyreese actually looked terrified for a moment as a memory seemed to flit through his mind. "I never thought I'd see it come to this. Thought all's we had to worry about was walkers and other people. Never thought about something like a threatened suicide taking down one of our own," Tyreese breathed, drawing a shaky breath.

Beth reached over and clutched his shoulder briefly, understanding how he was feeling helpless at the moment, "We'll do everything in our power to keep it from getting to that point, Tyreese." Beth said and she really hoped that it was a promise she could keep.

They all broke up after that, Maggie heading to help with Aslan and the other lions and Tyreese, Glenn and Daryl going to make a plan for the next night's perimeter sweep. Daryl had the night off tonight save for the meeting after supper with the rest of the task force employed with shoring up their borders and fences, keeping out the dead and the living alike.

Daryl got up from the bench and stretched his legs. "See you later Princess," Daryl leaned over and whispered in Beth's ear and kissed the side of her neck.

Beth shivered a little at the contact of his lips on her neck, the sensation bringing back erotic memories of him doing the same thing the day before when they had virtually locked themselves in their room for most of the day. Lil Ass Kicker took the opportunity of Daryl's close proximity to reach out and grab at his hair and then the strap on his crossbow. Beth giggled, "Judy, we'll have to get you your own crossbow," she crooned to the little girl, helping Daryl untangle the little girl's fingers from the strap.

"She's got quite a grip on it," Daryl commented, his mouth upturned in one of his rare smiles.

Beth's heart fluttered a bit at the smile, thinking that he should do it more often as it made him look even more handsome than he usually did.

Beth laughed as she was finally able to pry Judy's fingers off the bow. "You should probably know baby girl, Daryl doesn't let anyone touch his crossbow," she murmured to the little girl as she kissed her downy head and looked to Daryl with knowing eyes.

He looked at her, his blue eyes gazing at her tenderly and his mouth still upturned in that rare smile, "I let you use it, Beth" he reminded her, his voice almost a whisper and Beth's heart caught a bit at the memories. Of course the first time had been perfectly awful when they had been arguing at the moonshine shack. But every time after that had been exhilarating. She still remembered flushing at his touch and her heart pounding out of her chest every time he came up behind her to steady her arm or show her how to take aim with it.

"I remember," Beth whispered and leaned in for a quick kiss, her lips meeting his softly.

Daryl broke the kiss first, groaning as he stepped away from her, "I wanted you so bad this morning, but our bed was overrun." He complained, his eyes cast down at the ground for a moment, toeing his boot in the melting snow.

"Daryl Dixon, are you actually pouting?" Beth grinned widely as he looked up and met her eyes and Beth felt she might melt under his gaze.

"Not poutin'. Can you blame a guy for wanting to show his girl how much he loves her?," He asked her, reaching for her only free hand, lacing his fingers through hers. This whole thing was so strange to him at times. He was better at showing than telling and right now he really wanted to be tracing each line and curve of her body while his lips followed along.

If Beth had thought she was melting before, she was done for now between the charming tone of his voice, his words and now when he met her eyes, she could see the undisguised desire there. "Well, not sure what we're gonna do yet, but it looks like Judy will be bunking with us. Maybe Mika too. They are trying to track us down another room for the time being." Beth explained. "Rin is working on it, should have something figured out by tomorrow." Beth looked to Daryl who nodded.

"You mean to tell me I'm going to have to wait to ravish you?" Daryl's eyes fairly sparked with his intentions and Beth blushed under his gaze and she giggled, earning the gaze of Rin and Austin and even Mika who were nearby.

"Shhh, Daryl, they'll hear," Beth laughed as he pulled on her hand and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

"I don't care," He whispered into her neck, before finally pulling away. "I'll see you at supper, Princess." He bent to kiss Judy on the cheek and she giggled too. "I'll see you too, Lil Ass Kicker," Daryl murmured to the little girl. She smiled up at him, a bit of drool dribbling out of the corner of her mouth.

Beth laughed. "Let's go see about finding you some shoes, huh?," she said to Judith. "Tell Daryl bye sweetie," Beth waved to Daryl exaggeratedly showing the little girl how to do it, as he walked away. He turned just in time to see what happened next: Judith turning her hand around to face herself and opening and closing her hand slowly in a pretty good rendition of the gesture.

She looked up to Daryl then and he smiled at her as she beamed at Judith and pulled her closer to hug her and kiss her cheek, "Did you see that Daryl, she waved!" Beth exclaimed, feeling a swell of pride at the little girl's accomplishment.

Daryl laughed, "Great job, Lil Asskicker. We'll have her out greeting the new arrivals in no time, Princess." And with that he was off to find Glenn who had gotten tired of waiting around on him.

Beth laughed at his response and carried Judith to the gift shop hoping they had something at least a little bit suitable for a toddler to walk in. Judith's current shoes were too small for her and Beth hadn't the heart to try to stuff her chubby feet into them this morning. Right now she wouldn't let Beth put her down but knowing Judith's natural curious nature, that wasn't likely to last all that long.

Rin had said that the gift shops were virtually untouched and as Beth walked in and surveyed the shop, it reminded her of the times that she and Daryl had to scavenge stores for supplies. This store really was untouched but someone had come in and lovingly dusted off the shelves. She was reminded of the funeral home then and how neat and clean everything had been. She often wondered if the inhabitants of the house had ever come back.

Beth heard a familiar ruff then and as she turned she saw that Lucky had wandered into the store as if he knew exactly where he could find her. "Lucky! Where have you been boy?" Beth exclaimed, walking over and bending down to pet him. His fur was smooth and manageable and he actually smelled clean. He almost didn't look like the same dog. "Somebody gave you a bath, huh, boy," Beth murmured, rubbing his head vigorously.

"Da-da-da." Judith was bouncing up and down at Beth's side and Beth sat down on the floor of the store, laughing at the little girl who was very excited about Lucky as she crawled over to him.

To his credit, Lucky was very patient in letting Judith pat his fur, a little more enthusiastic than perhaps he was used to. Beth sat down Judith tentatively and watched carefully, making sure that she didn't tug too hard on Lucky's fur. Judith stopped petting Lucky for a moment and just leaned over on him, laying her head against his neck and wrapping her tiny little arm around him.

Beth could swear she saw the dog sigh and lean closer to Judith. It was quite a sight to see and it warmed Beth's heart to no end, such a normal domestic scene, a little girl, a dog, and the first person that little girl ever had known to be her mother.

Beth closed the door to Carol's room and held Mika's hand as she led her and Judith from the room. She guessed she'd be coming back and getting Judith's pack and play and the rest of her and Mika's things. Carol was in no mood for company now than she had been that morning. If anything she was worse. Beth shuddered when she thought what Carol had said to her, "If I'm not here, then those girls can probably live." She had whispered the words and Beth had sat down on the bed, glad for a moment that Mika and Judy were distracted by Lucky at the moment. He had taken to the two girls famously and it was obvious they adored him and Lucky didn't seem like he minded the attention one bit.

When Beth had sat down on the bed and reached for Carol's hand, Carol had turned around quickly from her stance staring at the wall. "Don't touch me," she warned and Beth withdrew her hand almost as if she had been burned. She strengthened her resolve and laid her hand back in her lap. She had to somehow make Carol see that there were so many people that cared about her. It's why she had brought the girls to her, hoping to draw her out.

Finally, after Carol had not been willing to say anything further and had resumed her near catatonic stare at the wall. Beth had finally sighed, "Carol if you want to talk, we're all here for you. But you have to know that these girls need you," Beth whispered. "You are all Mika has known since her dad died," Beth continued and waited for some kind of response from Carol but she was met with the same silence as yesterday when she had snapped at her then.

Beth had finally gathered the girls and Lucky and headed for the door, sparing one last glance back to Carol who hadn't budged one millimeter. "I'll be back later with dinner," Beth had promised.

Now as she reached her and Daryl's room and looked about the room, deciding where to put the pack and play, she sighed. There was never going to be enough room for her, Daryl and the two girls in this tiny dorm room. She hoped they were able to find something else and soon.

They were all re-convened that evening after supper, just before the guy's meeting. "So did you get anywhere with Carol today?" Tyreese directed the question at Judith who was happily playing with Mika and Lucky in the small room they had met in off the courtyard. It looked like it had once been someone's office but now housed a small conference table and six chairs. It had gotten a little chilly out for Mika and Judith to be meeting at the courtyard tables.

Beth shook her head and so did Maggie.

"I tried to get her to open up at lunch but she wouldn't even look at me." Maggie said, the sadness evident in her voice.

Tyreese nodded. "Yeah, she wouldn't talk to me either," he murmured.

"I don't know whether to feel relieved or not," Beth sighed and they all looked at her puzzled and she went on to explain. "She snapped at me again. And she also said something really scary," Beth lowered her voice so Mika wouldn't overhear. "She said the girls would be better off without her," Beth looked to Daryl, "You were right," Beth felt tears threatening. She hated that Carol seemed to saving all her frustration just for Beth. It hurt; they used to be so close. It was often Carol that Beth went to when she needed advice when it came to Zach. Things with Zach seemed a lifetime ago but she and Carol went back further than that. Their relationship ran deeper than that. It hurt that she was lashing out at Beth now and that she seemed to be the only one she was saving that behavior for.

"Oh Bethie," Maggie said softly, reaching over the table and squeezing her hand. Daryl's hand moved from her back up to the back of her neck, massaging gently. "You're probably closer to her than any of the rest of us, besides Daryl that is," Maggie looked at Daryl as the rest of them did too.

"Me?," Daryl asked a little incredulous. They always looked to him for this kind of shit and he couldn't understand it sometimes, the need for others to put him in a leading position but Rick had done it too. If he were here, he'd probably have the same idea.

Beth looked at him hopefully then. He sighed, conceding defeat when he saw her expression and then the others as well. "Fine, I'll talk to her tomorrow." Daryl relented. "Now we gotta get goin'. Can't be late for the meetin'. They are organizin' a supply run too. Just for basics. Ya'll should make a list." Daryl looked to the rest of them as he stood up and they nodded.

Beth looked at him thoughtfully and it reminded Beth of all the times they were going out on runs at the prison. They had slipped into this community of people like they belonged there and it seemed so cozy and safe it was hard to remember that they weren't really there by choice. It was the safest place they had been for months and perhaps even safer than the prison had been. But Beth knew from experience that you couldn't trust a situation fully. Despite the fact that she wanted to pretend that everything was fine, there was still a world out there teeming with monsters, the kind that had come back from the dead and the kind that had always inhabited the world, only now it was made so much worse by the anarchic nature of their new world.

Beth looked over to Mika and Judith and sent up another prayer, thankful again that they had all been reunited and thankful too that they had found this place. She stood up and walked Daryl to the door, glancing to make sure Judith didn't follow her. The little girl was constantly underfoot these days and still clingy to Beth, although she was glad she had ventured out a bit and Beth had Lucky to thank for that. He seemed to have traded his loyalty to Aslan for Judith and Beth thought it very sweet.

"See you tonight?" Beth whispered as she wrapped her arms up around his neck and tucked her head under his chin.

"Just try and keep me away," Daryl murmured into her hair, breathing her in. "Mrs. Dixon to be," he whispered as he pulled himself away reluctantly and walked out of the room, following after Tyreese and Glenn.

Beth watched him go and felt her heart fill again even as it felt like it her stomach had plummeted to her feet, tenderness threatening to overwhelm her at his words. She couldn't even form a proper response before he had left the room but he had looked at her and winked, knowing that he had probably shocked her with the sentiment. Sometimes she wasn't sure if there was any more room for her heart to swell with the love she felt for this man and then he went and did something like that. She realized that she liked being called Mrs. Dixon, even if it was to-be. She wondered how in the world they would ever make it official and suddenly a plan was forming in her mind. She hoped Daryl would go along with it but she went in search of Rin, knowing that her new friend would be more than happy to help her out with her request. She grinned to herself as she scooped Judith up. "Let's go girls, Lucky, we have a wedding to plan," Beth smiled to herself as Mika chattered happily.

"Can I be the flower girl, Beth?" Mika asked, her smile beaming in Beth's direction.

"You bet," Beth reached over to smooth the little girl's hair as they walked across the courtyard.

Despite the fact of all that was going on with Carol, she was happy for the moment. She could not even wait to be Mrs. Daryl Dixon. She had never thought that she would get an opportunity to be someone's anything in this new world, had never even thought she would survive this long, but becoming Daryl's wife? She couldn't get the grin off her face as she finally found Rin.

"So, know anyone who can marry me and Daryl?" Beth asked her, looking hopeful.

Rin nearly squealed as she hugged Beth. "I thought you'd never ask."

Okay so yeah, I did that. There's gonna be a small wedding at some point. Don't think it will be next chapter as something else is slated for that one but soon? I don't know what else to really do wedding wise, but ya'll know me and my symbolism. I'll be mulling it over and I'm sure I will come up with something fluffy and Bethyl-like. Hope you liked this chapter. Be sure and review and tell me what you don't like, what you do, and all that jazz. Thanks for reading and reviewing! You guys are the absolute best!

PS - I know it's been pretty fluffy already here lately besides the Carol storyline. But the next couple chapters might be a little bit tense. Just giving fair warning. You all know I like to shake things up sometimes. ;)