With a careless flick of his wrist, the shot went in. As it always did, no matter what his form looked like, the ball rolling off his fingers in a long, effortless arc and sinking into the net with a soft swish. Aomine sighed and trudged across the court to retrieve it as it bounced away. He was agitated; practically twitching with pent-up energy and emotion that needed an outlet, but playing by himself wasn't anywhere near as invigorating as playing with an opponent would be, especially if that opponent was Kagami...but he wasn't about to ask the redhead to step in and relieve his frustration. He'd received a pretty stern reminder earlier today why that wasn't an option right now.
A week ago he'd called the number on the card he'd taken from the hospital, the day Kagami had hit his head, and set up an appointment for him to be looked over by Dr. Kishima. Of course he'd had to give a pretty vague, improvised reason for his call, until he could speak with the doctor himself, as he was pretty sure the receptionist wasn't - and wasn't supposed to be - in on the whole concept of a man being pregnant. Much as it still set his teeth on edge for this whole thing to have to be such a conspiratorial secret; it would be so much simpler if people were just allowed to know the truth.
And so, earlier this morning, he and Kagami had returned to the hospital, under much calmer, more controlled circumstances than their previous visit and having a pretty good idea what to expect. He had noticed his own restlessness while they were sitting in the reasonably crowded waiting room, not able to speak freely with each other with so many people around, in such close proximity. With no distraction available, he'd been unable to sit still, one leg jiggling as his foot tapped rapidly, incessantly, against the floor, reminding him better than anything else - any of the fidgety annoyance and hot-tempered snappishness that had been showing up rather recently - that he hadn't been to practice or even touched a basketball in almost ten days. A bit of a record for him.
Since helping Kagami move back into his apartment the other day, he'd had very little to do, very little that was expected of him, as Kagami seemed determined to take charge and run the house now that he was back in it. Which was fine, Aomine was pretty laid-back and lazy by nature, and probably would have just gotten in his way and messed things up if he tried to help him unpack and get settled in, but still...he'd come to the conclusion that he needed to get out and do something, stretch his legs and get the blood flowing. He figured he was pretty overdue for a game, even just a one-on-one, but he'd been quickly dissuaded from even thinking of asking if Kagami was also feeling his oats, and would be willing to try to join him, when they'd actually gone in to see the doctor.
At first, it had been a pretty casual, typical check-up type encounter. Kishima had seemed very pleased to see them, especially Kagami, though he had given a warm smile and a bow of polite greeting to Aomine as well, and involved him in every aspect of the proceedings, keeping both of them informed with everything he was doing as he looked Kagami over stem to stern, making his observations out loud as well as jotting them down. Supposedly, even with the changes in physique and routine over the past month or so, he remained in peak condition; a little low in Vitamin D and a little high in blood pressure, though nothing severe. The former in particular, Kishima had informed them, would be important to rectify however possible, at this juncture in time.
"As we speak the embryo is beginning to develop its bones and first teeth," he'd explained, a small smile crossing his face as he registered the identical look of shock that must have come over both of theirs. "Yes, at ten weeks bones and cartilage start to form, as well as the first tooth buds, but without proper levels of calcium and Vitamin D, they can be weakened, and the teeth will be more likely to develop cavities, so it's important to stay fortified with both of those. And important for your own benefit as well, especially as winter approaches."
"It's that far along already?" Aomine found himself asking, and even to his own ears his voice sounded hushed and disbelieving.
"Mm," Kishima said thoughtfully, turning his lilac gaze on him, "Not quite. You see, though what was once a mere cluster of cells is now taking on a more human shape, complete with working elbows and knees, even the longest bones of the legs and arms are still no bigger than the length of your smallest fingernail. The entire body isn't even four centimeters long." He held up his fingers up as a measurement, and both Aomine and Kagami immediately glanced at their own hands to compare.
"A few weeks ago the heart divided into chambers and started to beat," Kishima went on, either oblivious or pretty used to their evident, collective astonishment, "Though it should be another week or so before blood starts to circulate throughout the body."
"That's…" Kagami started to say, slightly hoarse, and simply trailed off, cradling his pinky finger in the palm of his other hand, before wrapping his fingers lightly, gently around it. He trailed off and didn't complete the statement.
"Amazing," Aomine supplied, shifting his gaze from him to return it to the doctor with an implicit question. ...Or several.
"As for what to expect from here," Kishima began, as if sensing the intent and burning curiosity in his eyes. He directed his words at Kagami, but his gaze flitted often to return to his, as though advising him as well, "Over the next few weeks, the fetus should continue growing exponentially, and so should you. As the first trimester comes to an end about….oh, three or four weeks from now, I'll call you back in and we'll see how things stand, but in general, you should expect to see a decrease in nausea and mood swings for a little while, and an increase in appetite to feed that rapid growth."
Aomine's eyebrows rose, taking on an edge of teasing world-weariness when Kagami met his gaze, "You're gonna be eating more? I'll have to take out another mortgage on the house."
"We're renting an apartment, moron," Kagami muttered, rolling his eyes, but Aomine thought he saw a flicker of amusement in their crimson depths, "We don't have mortgages. And it's not like I'd make you cook for me, I doubt Junior or I would survive it."
Aomine bit his lip, but nodded in grudging agreement, unable to find fault with that statement. And since he wouldn't be contributing anything of nutritional value to help Kagami during this process, he started to wonder what he would contribute. He supposed he could take up winning the proverbial bread for them both, like he'd offered, or at least handle the grocery shopping if making the trek to the supermarket and back became too much for Kagami. Wherever he could be of use, he supposed, he would offer his assistance, though it was probably still a little early now to think of Kagami as in any way dependent on him. Maybe one day that would change, and he wondered how Kagami's ego and stubborn insistence on doing things himself would handle that...if he would be able to swallow his pride and actually ask for help when he needed it. Somehow he couldn't picture it.
After a moment of silence, Kishima adjusted his glasses on the bridge of his nose and continued, "All in all, Mr. Kagami, you've got a little under six and a half months of pregnancy left to look forward to, and I'll be sure to keep you updated every step of the way. Do you have any questions before I send you on your way?"
"I do," Aomine broke in immediately, but he was waved off with an amused smile from Kishima.
"I already know you do," he laughed softly, before turning back to face Kagami, still smiling, "You're lucky to have such a dedicated partner in this. All things considered, that can tend to be rather uncommon in these cases… And I'm sure the child will also benefit from having that dedication in a father, when the time comes."
Aomine was sure he'd flushed, at both the rather indirect praise and the insinuation that one day he would, in fact, be a father to this child. And that Kishima seemed to think, from what he'd seen of him so far, that he would be a good one. Tenacity and ego rising to battle the surge of embarrassment, he'd clenched his fists against his knees where he sat, and mustered his determination right then and there to be the best, most kickass goddamn father this kid could ever hope to have.
He didn't see Kagami's face, but he heard the hint of unease in his voice even as he clearly tried to conceal it, "When...this is over, when it's…" Aomine heard him swallow, so surely Kishima must have heard it too, "W-when it's ready to be born...how does...I mean…?"
Aomine blinked, and looked up at him. Beneath the awkwardness of his voice and uncomfortable expression he wore, there was an undercurrent of uncertainty and even fear that was almost tangible, emanating from him. He considered that it was a pretty valid concern, and one that hadn't yet been clarified for either of them. Personally, he was already unclear enough on how the baby had gotten inside Kagami in the first place - aside from the obvious; he had a pretty general idea how it was supposed to work - but he didn't have the slightest idea how it was supposed to get out. Banishing a few terrifying mental images lifted straight from a dub of Alien, he all but mirrored Kagami's questioning, unnerved gaze and looked to Kishima expectantly.
"Ah, of course," Kishima said smoothly, seeming unbothered and waving a hand dismissively, "As the due date approaches and we get a clearer idea of when the ideal time will be, I will schedule you for a Caesarian section. That's quite a while down the road, however, not something you need to concern yourself with just yet."
"See...see-what-ian...section…?" Kagami echoed blankly, narrowing his eyes as if trying to spell the unfamiliar word out in his head.
"Caesarian," Kishima repeated patiently, "Or C-section, in familiar terms. That is, rather than being born naturally - which would be quite impossible in this case with the narrowness of the male pelvis and lack of a suitable opening - an incision in the abdomen will be made to extract the baby from the uterine apparatus -"
"The what?" Kagami interrupted, seeming frustrated even as he visibly grew paler and more nervous the longer Kishima spoke.
"The male equivalent of a uterus; the womb inside which the fetus grows and develops. That's just what we call it, as the structure isn't entirely natural, nor its origin or functions entirely understood just yet."
"Oh." Kagami dropped his gaze and didn't say anything else, folding his arms around his midsection with apparent self-consciousness.
"You have to cut him open?" Aomine asked after a moment, sure he was either grimacing with apprehension or scowling with distaste; it could easily have been either.
"I'm afraid so," Kishima nodded soberly, "A team of surgeons specifically conditioned to handle male mothers will perform the operation. ...It's a fairly common procedure even among women, and as it stands, his safest and only option."
Aomine saw a flicker of doubt cross Kagami's face, even as a shadow passed over Kishima's, and he frowned, "...How safe?"
"As much as physically possible," Kishima assured him, "It would be difficult to provide an accurate statistic, as this phenomenon is still rather rare and quite confidential, but out of over a dozen cases I know of only one attempted operation in which there were...complications, and the mother did not survive."
"And that was…?" Aomine prompted warily, trying to ignore the tightness in his chest and throat that spoke of anxiety in the face of what he was being told; the lack of certainty and straight answers that was setting off alarm bells left and right in his head.
Something dark showed in Kishima's violet eyes, but vanished just as quickly as he straightened, clearing his throat and going on in his calmer, more professional voice. "Again, not something either of you need to worry about for quite some time. Put your energy toward getting through this first trimester for now. When it's over we will meet again and discuss plans for further in the future."
.
.
Aomine had hardly said a word since leaving the hospital, though he'd still had plenty more questions for the doctor that had been left, for now, unanswered. He didn't know what to say, what he could say, to Kagami - words of reassurance or comfort that would probably be brushed off anyway seemed altogether too fake and cheap - but he was more angry and frustrated now than he'd been since he last spoke to his father, and he didn't want to end up taking that frustration out on him.
The strange part was, he didn't even know why he was upset. Something about the situation was rubbing him the wrong way, creating a mess of confusing emotion that he didn't want to have to deal with, but figured he probably should...and he'd puzzled and ground his teeth over it for almost an hour before he finally decided to get out from under Kagami's feet and vent his conflicted energy on the street court down the block. Not being able to extend an invitation for his long-time rival to come along seemed unfair and wrong, but if Kagami was disappointed, he didn't show it...much.
And after he'd been there for over thirty minutes, trying to sort his thoughts as he blindly, furiously dribbled back and forth, fighting against an invisible opponent that he couldn't seem to help picturing with blazing red hair and eyes, he came to the conclusion that he wasn't actually angry. Not really. There had been a brief flash of annoyance and betrayal when he thought of the fact that his father had neglected to mention any of the gory details about how this would be resolved, either of the times they'd spoke to him. Even if it was obviously something Kagami was uncertain about, and dying to know, judging by the fact that it had been the first damn thing he'd asked when he got the chance to….but other than that, he was pretty sure he wasn't angry at all.
So he knew what he wasn't feeling, then, but it took him another ten minutes of frustrated confusion and exhausting mental acrobatics to figure out what he was, in which he'd launched a full-on assault on the only hoop with an intact net on the court. And he only broke the almost seamless barrage of perfect - if rather formless - three-pointers when it finally hit him that no, the coiling, searing ball of raw, conflicted emotion in the pit of his stomach definitely wasn't anger. ...It was fear.
Yes, that made sense….he wasn't angry, he was afraid.
And once that sank in, once he could admit that, it was all too easy for the next piece to fall into place...to know exactly what he was afraid of. What this pure, animal terror, more insistent and visceral than any vague dread he'd felt before - when he'd actually considered the severity of the situation he and Kagami had blindly hurtled into - was for. Because this time it wasn't fear for his freedom or his future or the realness of the situation, or even for either of their ability to handle it. It was primal, senseless fear for Kagami's safety...maybe for his life. And underneath that, there was a lesser, but still present fear for that of the child.
It was strange, he thought as he gathered up the ball to set up another shot, because he didn't think he'd ever worried about someone to the degree that he was practically worrying his hair out over Kagami. Sometimes he would have a brief spell of worrying for Tetsu or Satsuki when one of them was hurt or in trouble, or did something stupid - though of course he never said as much, and rarely let on that he was concerned at all...though he thought they might have picked it up anyway, irritatingly perceptive as they both were - but even then, it had never been this consistent, or gut-wrenching whenever he thought about it.
It wasn't like Kagami was completely helpless either; he could take care of himself, and had managed all on his own for several years...hell, he'd gone out of his way to make it clear that he didn't really need Aomine's help, for anything, even if he'd more or less accepted when he'd offered it. He had a house of his own, money for the essentials, the support of Tetsu and possibly Satsuki - once she got over being weirded out and remembered Kagami was someone she cared about - he could cook for himself and had a reasonable amount of cheap transportation to get where he needed to go...what did he need Aomine for?
...Still, there must have been a reason he kept him around, a reason he considered the possibility of his assistance in the future an asset he didn't want to dismiss, and that...that was the actual root of Aomine's fear. The fact that Kagami - stubborn, independent Kagami who never asked for help and never needed it - saw him of all people as an asset…as something that could help him get through this in the future, implied two things. One, that he'd already considered the possibility that when that future came around - whether it was distant or immediate - he would be unable to provide for himself, and two, that when that day did come, Aomine would be.
The very fact that he would put that much unspoken faith in a person he'd made very clear he thought was incapable of handling himself, let alone someone else, was terrifying. How desperate did Kagami have to be, how scared shitless of facing the future by himself did he have to be, to settle for Aomine's help, when he'd already as much as said - to his face - that he had no idea how to even take care of himself, and relied on Kagami a lot more than Kagami relied on him? That was the real source of his fear...the fact that Kagami was also afraid.
As he thought of this, the ball left the tips of his fingers, sailed through the air in a wide arc and jolted the shuddering metal rim of the hoop as it spun, once around, twice...and then tipped and toppled off the side, and missed.
TBC