Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

AN: Thanks for reading!

Chapter 18

APOV

They're gonna rip up your heads,
Your aspirations to shreds
Another cog in the murder machine
They said all teenagers scare the living shit out of me

-Teenagers

My Chemical Romance

"Alice?"

A hand gently shook my shoulder.

"Alice? Are you sick?"

My eye opened blearily. I looked up to see Jacob squatting next to me, concern defining his strong features. His black eyes bored into mine for a moment and then fear took over his face. He picked me up from off the floor and I lay listlessly in his arms like a rag doll. His black suit was scratchy against my face. He carried me up the stairs and into my room. He held me with one arm while he pulled the covers on my bed back and tucked me in.

"Alice, did something happen today?" Jacob asked softly.

I looked at my father. Could I tell him? Could I tell him that a boy had broken my heart? That I gave my body to that boy? That I love that boy?

I wanted to tell him that nothing was wrong. But I couldn't. I couldn't lie to him that way. Jacob put a rough hand on my forehead. He frowned.

"You're burning up. You feel like you're on fire," Jacob said. He put a hand on my cheek for a second. "Just stay here…I'll get you some Motrin or something."

Jacob returned 10 minutes later with a bottle of Motrin from CVS. He poured 2 tsp. into a little cup and held it out to me. I stared dumbly at it. I knew that he wanted me to take it, but my body didn't want to listen to my brain. Jacob lifted my head up and poured the medicine down my throat. I coughed involuntarily and Jacob rubbed my back soothingly. I didn't know that he could be this fatherly.

---x-----X-----x---

The bright sunlight of a summer morning cut through my dark room like a knife. My hand touched my cheek. I felt fresh. The feeling I get from burning through a fever. I climbed out of bed, my mind surprisingly numb. I made my bed, relishing the feeling of nothing. There was a polite knock at my door.

"Come in," I said softly.

The door opened a crack, and then all the way. Jacob stepped in. He was dressed in office clothes.

"Feeling better?" He asked.

"Hmmhmm."

"We have to talk about Japan."

"Hmmhmm."

"None of your aunts can come out to stay with you. So, you're on your own for two weeks."

Alone.

"I'm leaving in a week. I'm going to leave you $200 for groceries and $150 for anything else you want. You cannot touch my Benz. No parties and no beer. I want you home by at least twelve. Oh, and no boys." Jacob continued.

I almost laughed. No boys. I could follow that rule easily. What boy did I have?

"I'm leaving the emergency numbers on the fridge."

Jacob's beeper went off. He looked at it and then moaned.

"I'm sorry Alice. I have to go." He gave me a kiss on the cheek and then ran out.

I stretched out on my bed, savoring the warmness. It caressed my body slowly and left my skin feeling young and new. My feeling of numbness was wearing off. I could feel the despair like a knife against my skin. All too soon my wall would break and the blood of despair would spill on the carpet.

I stared at the walls, trying hard just to focus on their color, their texture. I bolted up.

When was the last time I had gotten my period?

I rushed into the bathroom and pulled down my underwear. Nothing. It was perfectly clean. My head swam as I tried to remember the last time I had my period.

Last time I had it was when Gerard and I had our first time.

Gerard.

The despair cut through my numbness. It slashed at everything inside of me. It sent pain to everywhere in my body; my fingertips, my feet, my eyes.

I tried to fight it, but I was useless. Nothing could stop it. Slowly, I sank down to my knees, and closed my eyes, and waited for the end to come.

---x-----X-----x---

"Wake up."

Something pinched my skin.

"Wake up! I say, wake up!"

I felt a kick at my leg. I sat up, my eyes wide. The voice was completely unfamiliar. I looked around, expecting a masked man with a knife in his hand.

There was no one there.

I scratched my head. Was I going crazy?

"Halloo?!" The voice called out.

"Who's there?" I called out warily. "If you're here to kill me, just get on with it."

"Oh my! I'm not here to kill you, Alice."

I was getting scared now. "Who are you?"

"I'm your conscience."

Now I was confused. "What?"

My conscience was getting annoyed now. "I'm your conscience, silly girl. I'm supposed to help you make decisions and interfere when your decisions are wrong."

I blinked. "What decisions to I have to make now? The most important part of my life is gone. What more is there?"

"A baby," My conscience answered curtly.

I backed up against the wall, my face stinging. "You don't know I'm pregnant. And I'm not."

"Hmm…I still advise you to buy a test. It's for your own good. And besides, if you were pregnant, which you insist you're not, if you engage in any physical activities, you could kill the baby. And I doubt you want to take away a life before it had even started," My conscience replied smartly.

My eyes started to water. I didn't want to be a murderer. But you're not pregnant! my mind argued. But what if I was? I looked around the room.

"I'm going to buy one."

---x-----X-----x---

Fifteen minutes later, I stood in the bathroom with a pregnancy test in my hand. The man at the back of the counter had clucked his tongue at me and shook his head when I went to buy it.

"Kids these days," He muttered as he scanned the five pregnancy tests I had bought.

I read the instructions carefully, my hands shaking. I read the instructions twice before I started to do what I had to do.

After five minutes had passed, I checked the results. Green. I quickly glanced at the box to make sure what color blue meant. My heart lurched.

I took out another test and took that. Pink. Pink meant the same as green.

I took the rest of the tests. When I was done, I had 5 colors laid out in front of me. Green, pink, purple, yellow, and red.

"I told you so," my conscience muttered.

And then I started to cry, the warm tears spilling onto my stomach; the place where Gerard's baby grew, oblivious to the pain around it.

(Cries) That chapter was hard to write. Poor Alice. She's all alone. Ha, I bet you're wondering what the song on top was all about. Originally, it was "Love Child" by Destiny's Child, but that would have given the chapter away. I put Teenagers up instead, because teens are always getting pregnant…I hope that makes sense…Well anyways, school's almost over and that means that I can update more quickly!

Just to let you know, I bombed the Spanish final, and if I don't make it on the honor roll, I'm gonna get my ass kicked and probably get grounded… (Sob)

Ha…Well anyway, just review me and that'll make me a whole lot happier… (Shmile)

I love you guys!

Melissa

P.S. I'm also working on a little one shot for Harry Potter…so just read it and reviews are greatly appreciated…YAY! I LOVE YOU!