Disclaimer: One Piece don't belong ta me.

A/N: Merry Christmas hohoho here's an update and here's a brownie.

If it's too much fluff, I apologise now. I've written this chapter virtually in a trance.

Warnings: just innuendos and allusions. Nothing you didn't expect under a T rating.

Paradise

"So… um. Where do we go from here?" Xena said.

"Back to the Mobydick for one," Ace said, grinning.

Xena rolled her eyes. Well, certainly more than a few crewmates had seen her dash off into the village and Ace follow her. Now that was going to be another explanation to do. Not to mention that if those few people included Izou-san… she was never going to hear the end of it. After all, he knew it all before she even gave a serious thought to it. And despite all her reservations, his prediction ended up being spot on. At least regarding herself. That it would take her an immense amount of courage, even a bottle or two of sake—although she had gone waaay further than that—and that she would probably end up running away in the end.

So far so good. The harder part was going to be trying to keep her eyes off Ace. She sighed. They really shouldn't be blaming her.

Back on the Mobydick, of course things were going to be exactly what she dreaded! The first person to note their return—in fact, he'd been standing glued to his position, waiting to welcome them back—was Izou. His cool enquiring gaze did its number on Ace just as they were boarding and he darted off making incoherent excuses, afraid somebody might note the color of heat on his face. Izou-smirked at the chicken-reaction, turning to Xena with his triumphant you-had-better-tell-me-the-details smile and she all but towed her way behind him to his room.

"What am I going to do, Izou-san?" She whined, first thing as Izou locked the door behind her. She balled up in a corner, burying her face in her hands.

"What do you mean by that?" He said with a slight frown. "Ace did not… reject you, did he?"

"Eh? Wha—no, no, he didn't," Xena shook her head.

"Well? What did he do?" He asked, awfully eager.

"Ah… about that… well, you know—"

"So you two were out doing perverted stuff in the town?" Izou raised a disapproving eyebrow.

"Whaaa—no, no… that does not classify as perverted… I think," Xena said, blood rushing back to her face at the memory of the unceremonious-bomb-over-the-head moment.

"You both certainly looked a lot in the heat when you went scampering away," he said.

Xena just rolled her eyes. She wasn't going to let Izou-san's scepticism spoil her moment of euphoria. The kiss… that did not classify as perverted. She blushed again as it replayed in her head—all lovely details and rose-coloured goggles added.

"Well, so you're thinking of perverted stuff then?" He said, enjoying her frantic reactions.

"Ha? N-no, of course not!" she flailed her arms over her head as if trying to make some thoughts disappear. "I'm not thinking of doing anything perverted. At all."

"You had better not," Izou said, a little smirk upon his lips.

"Uhm… should I take that as a warning?" Xena raised an eyebrow.

"Statement of fact," Izou shrugged, unlocking the door. "You're with a crewful of muscle-heads." With that, he swung open the door, outside of which Thatch very conveniently seemed to be passing by. Xena narrowed her eyes at him. Of course.

"Xe~na~chan," Thatch grinned at her. "How about helping onii-san in the kitchen for a bit?"

Xena looked at him suspiciously for a while. Izou only gave her another smirk of acknowledgement. Hell no, Thatch-nii was her favorite person and she was certain he wasn't going to be mean to her. Ever.

"Okay," she said, following after him.

As it turned out, there really wasn't work to help out with in the kitchens. Xena registered suspicion first, rushing around to busy herself in doing dishes to evade what was to come. Making a big deal out of doing dishes was easy. All she had to do was make a lot of noise.

"Xena~ kid," Thatch said, catching her by the hand and turning her around to face him. "I heard the news."

Xena took in two quick breaths in succession. Okay. This was just Thatch-nii. He wasn't a meanie.

"Okay," she said. "It's true."

"Thought so," he said, grinning wide. He seemed quite in ecstasy.

"Who told you though?" Xena asked, eyes narrowing.

"Well, Ace came in with that puppy smile on his face…" Thatch said.

"Wha—I gotta tell him to stop," Xena said. "What is that idiot doing?"

"Well, he didn't exactly tell me," Thatch said. "I figured it out."

"Aren't you sharp!" Xena said, then as an afterthought, added: "Alright, Thatch-nii, you have to promise me you won't tell anybody."

"Eh? Why?" Thatch asked. "You don't want anybody to know?"

"It's not that… it's not like I have anything against them knowing…" she said. "But I don't know what I'll do after that. I mean, they're not going to let me live this down. Especially Marco-san. I'll never know peace again."

"Well, okay," Thatch said. "But they'll find out eventually."

"We'll see when they do—if they do." She said.

"You know… you two are pretty obvious," Thatch muttered to himself.

"What?" Xena asked.

"Nothing, nothing," he said, surprising her with a warm hug. "I'm glad for you."

Xena smiled in the warmth. Well, wasn't this all too good to be true!

She capered off, a happy swing in her step. Until she ran into Marco-san—and of course his smirk sent her alarms screaming inside her head.

"Chibisuke," he said. "What's up with you? Something good happen?"

"Not… particularly…" she said slowly, probing with caution. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, you look like you're about to float off to some cloud nine," he said innocently.

"Eh? No that's… not true…" she said, treading on thin ice. "Why would you say that? I'm just… normal, you know."

"Well, if that's how it is," Marco shrugged. "Anyway, listen, listen, I just came up with another chibi joke…"

Xena sighed a little in relief. Marco-san wasn't onto the news yet. Although she failed to notice just how hard he was trying to suppress his evil grin.

By the evening, she had fallen into a new sort of cyclical quandary on the ship. It seemed like everybody was trying to bully her into doing something or the other but she couldn't say for sure.

First it was Oyaji, who gave her the I-know-about-it grin when she passed him on the deck. When she looked at him enquiringly, he affirmed her suspicion.

"I heard the news, gaki," he said, his grin wide as ever.

"Gah, Oyaji too?" Xena said, rushing to his side and gesturing for him to lower his voice. "Okay, okay, please don't tell anyone else."

"What's in it for me?" He said nonchalantly, obviously leveraging his vested interest.

"Whaaaa—okay, fine, I'll make you a deal." Xena said, frowning. "I'm gonna keep quiet about that sake in your iv and you keep quiet about… this okay?"

"Not interested." The old man said, flatly.

Xena groaned in response. But then, she thought, this was still way, waaay better than Marco-san finding out. Oyaji was still tame.

"Alright, one barrel," she said, her tone all business-like.

"Two," Oyaji bargained.

"One." She reiterated.

"One and a half?" Oyaji said, driving a hard bargain.

"One, Oyaji," she insisted. "Deal or no?"

"One and a quarter?" He said.

Xena frowned, then finally nodded, extending a hand. They shook on the deal in a rather official manner.

"Although," Xena said, adding her terms and conditions clause. "You slip one word to Marco-san and the nurses will be on your case. I promise." She smiled sweetly before turning at her heels, failing to notice the old man's widened grin. For one thing, he believed Marco's words when he told him she could deliver subtle threat without batting an eyelash. But she was just not good enough yet.

The mantra was hurled at her from the most unsuspecting of the people too.

Jozu, who Xena believed could not hold a conversation except in grunts, stomped over to her and in a very flat monotone, said: "I heard the news."

Xena was doing the narrowing-my-eyes-on-you thing an awful lot lately. After a minute of staring, she sighed.

"Okay," she said, "what do you want me to do?"

And for the next hour or so, she was stuck lifting weights over to add to his work out. Although he was cute enough to grunt a bashful thank you in return, all she wanted was for him to keep the 'news' to himself.

And just when she started to think she could afford to be exhausted, Haruta-kun came up to her and pompously informed her that he had 'heard the news' too.

"What shall I do for you, Haruta-sama?" Xena smiled sweetly. Common sense told her it was a bad, bad idea to collude in his pranks but well, she was beyond that right now. Although, she had to admit, exchanging Izou-san and Marco-san's underwear for each other was funny in its own way. But if Izou-san ever found out who guided Haruta around his drawers, Xena was going to be so, so dead.

"Oi, kid," Vista caught her next. "I heard the news!"

Xena groaned.

"Seriously?" she said. "Don't tell Marco-san okay. I'll do whatever you tell me to."

"Good timing," Vista grinned. "Let's get some practice." He said, flinging her a sword. Xena took out her dagger instead.

"That's too small for an offensive weapon," Vista said.

"Works just fine with me," Xena said, "You'll see."

At least she didn't particularly hate this job. Even Vista—after KO-ing her a consecutive six times—noted that she had gotten a lot better.

Blamenco was walking past, nonchalantly chewing on something when Vista finally let Xena off the hook when she suddenly came up with the idea of a most bizarre request he had ever heard.

"Blamenco-san, your pockets can pretty much accommodate anything, right?" She said.

"Well, yeah." Blamenco replied.

"Anything?" She asked.

"What do you want to hide?" He asked, as if he got those requests all the time.

"Myself, actually," she said, throwing her hands up in the air.

"Ha?" Blamenco looked at her like she were bonkers. "You want me to put you in my pocket?"

"You can't?" She asked, hopefully.

"I don't think you'd be able to breathe in there." He said. "Not that I've ever tried putting anything live in my pockets. But the thing is, I tend to lose a lot of things I hide in my pocket. I don't think anybody will be particularly happy about you getting lost in it."

"Eh?" Xena looked rather disappointed—whichh Blamenco found very weird, considering she wasn't even half doubtful about placing her request in the first place. Well, actually putting a live thing in his pocket would be something he'd never do. It just did not sound right.

"Ah that reminds me," he said, cursorily. "I heard the news."

Xena snapped in attention, replying almost by default: "What do you want me to do for you?"

Blamenco looked at her long and hard, amazed.

"So it really is true," he said, turning to Vista who grinned in reply. "Say the magic words and she'll do whatever you want."

Xena stood dumbfounded for a while as Blamenco gave her the look a scientist would his lab-rat. So. Exactly what was going on?

"Blamenco-san?" She said, probing. "Where exactly did you hear that?"

"Marco told me," he said simply as if it were not even a secret.

"Marco-san? He told you? The 'news'?" Xena asked.

"News?" Blamenco said. "I don't know about that. He just told me to say it to you if I needed to get anything done."

"Marco-san…" Xena grumbled, stomping away to find the culprit. "I'm going to kill him."

Marco was duly warned. When Xena came to find him, he only expressed surprise at how long it took for her to figure out the whole charade. She threw angry punches at him which he dodged rather easily, laughing all the way.

"You're the nastiest older brother ever, you…" she fumed, "idiot, baldy, pineapple, chicken on fire."

Marco laughed harder at her tactless ranting.

"Oh Ace~ since when have you been standing there?" He yelled over her head.

Xena froze at that, slowly turning around to face what was just empty space.

"Ju~st kidding." Marco guffawed.

"That was the oldest, cheapest trick ever," she said.

"It still worked!" He quipped.

"Mou…" she threw her hands up in the air, plomping down to the floor and balling up. "Idiot, idiot, Marco-san. Why do you always have to be so mean."

"Come on now, Chibi," he said, squatting in front of her. "It's just way too much fun to pass up."

"I hate you so much," she said, giving way to a defeated smile. Marco raised an eyebrow and grinned in reply. The pleasure was all his.

"So… wait, if Blamenco-san didn't know…" she processed, "then that means… everybody who told me they knew did not actually know?"

"I know though," Marco said.

"What do you know?" Xena narrowed her eyes.

"That you and Ace are—"

"Okay that's enough, I get it. You know," she said, drawing back at the bordering-on-lewd smile he gave. "But don't go around telling everybody now. It's going to be so embarrassing."

"Then…" he said, coming to the point. "What do I get in return?"

"Agh." Xena groaned. "I've done this all day. What shall you have me do, sir?"

"I'm thinking… I want a double dessert in dinner tonight." He said innocently. "But since Thatch would never let me…"

"Y-you want… my share of the dessert?" Xena said in disbelief. "You know… you're the most evil person I've ever known in my life, Marco-san."

"I was thinking of asking you for about a week…" he grinned, his dopey eyes glinting.

"NEVER." Xena said, adamant. "Don't push your case."

"You're a miser," he said.

"You're a loser," she retorted.

"That doesn't really rhyme so much," he said.

"I don't care," Xena said, starting to grin. Marco-san was absolutely the worst pirate ever.

The dinner call interrupted the two and when they both went down, Xena very inconspicuously tried to make sure to sit as far away from Ace as possible. Even though honestly, it had been all day without him and she was just dying a little bit to take revenge on him for that goddamned surprise kiss. Also, for the thousandth time, for some reason, he looked cute and her instincts were screeching at her inside to just go cuddle him. When he was genuinely happy, that light in his eyes made him look at least five years younger than he was. And that did not make Xena a pedophiliac. Nope.

But as if he were hell bent on stepping over the line and make it harder for all the resistance she was struggling to put up, he scooted right up to her and squeezed himself into the little space between her and Teach. Even though she and Teach always sat on one side to hog the major amount of everything.

"Hey," Xena said, weirded out.

"Hey yourself, miss Busybody," he said, sort of complaining.

God Xena wanted to place a kiss on top of his fucking forehead. She ended up choking a little on her food though. Ace was making it hard for her to remember how to breathe.

"Why are you so adorable sometimes," she mumbled, almost to herself.

From the way that he choked on his next bite, she figured he had caught that little comment. Xena blushed, wishing she hadn't made it sound the way it did.

"Seriously, you two, get a room," somebody said, on top of all the normal noise of the dinner and the two froze for a second.

Xena hadn't even realized it because she hadn't much looked up to notice anyone—because she was obviously much preoccupied with a particular someone—but every single person in the room had their eyes fixed on the two, grins plastered all over their faces.

Did they or did they not know?

"Alright you guys," she said, finally bracing herself. She was tired of this cat and mouse game. "What do you know?"

"The news," everybody said, almost in sync.

"News?" She said, narrowing her eyes.

"Come on." Haruta spoke up finally. "Everybody knows. Xena loves a boy~ Ace loves a girl~ and they're both idiots~" it wasn't the fact that he was saying something so juvenile but the totally embarrassing singsong way in which he said it that made everyone burst out in laughter.

"Y'all are quite the horrible family," she grumbled, scooting closer to a slightly blushing Ace because now that everybody knew it and squeezed out all the embarrassment they could from it, who the fuck cared?

"This wasn't part of the deal, Marco-san," she complained to the pineapple man happily munching away on his second—wait, that was her—dessert. She flailed to grab it but all he had to do was keep his hand over her head to restrain her. Having long limbs was such an advantage when it came to a midget like her.

"I kept my side of the bargain," Marco said at a vainly struggling Chibi. "It's not my fault you two have been so totally obvious from day one."

There. Just when she thought the embarrassment was over.

She grumbled and groaned and cursed under her breath while being a little more than usually vicious with her food. Ace tried to placate her with half of his own dessert but really that only made things worse for everybody enjoying the joke at their expense.

"Ah sou sou," Thatch said, looking at her expectantly. "We forgot to do this. Since you're officially part of the crew, what division do you want to be in?"

"Second of course," Xena said without a second thought.

"You sure about that?" Marco-san asked, his raised brow suggesting another jibe was on its way.

"I'm sure," she said stubbornly.

"You'd be under Ace…" Marco-san drawled.

"I'd like being under Ace," Xena zinged back.

There was silence for a brief moment as Marco-san put up his victory face—like he'd led her exactly where he wanted to before the room exploded with a boom of laughter from the whole crew. Uh-oh.

"Sure you would," Marco-san said between guffaws.

"…I meant I don't mind being under his command," Xena corrected—to no effect.

"You guys are just horrible," she yelled, getting up and storming out of the room, reentering the next second to snatch up her part of Ace's dessert and stomping away again.

The laughter was going to take another few minutes to die down. Ace tiptoed out, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible—which was actually not possible because hello, focus. But then everybody pretended to ignore the obvious fact as an apology to their youngest crewmember for being a little more mean than usual.

Xena was still pouting and sulking as he approached her. She could be so adorable sometimes, he had to hug her.

"Ace…" she said, trying to squirm out of his hold. "Go 'way."

He pulled back a little to look at her still-trying-to-be-angry-with-you face and grinned.

"Aw come 'ere," he squeezed her in his arms till she stopped her half-hearted protests.

"You're so sly," she complained, as she relaxed into his hold.

"I'm sly?" he raised an eyebrow, staring straight at her. At this little distance, her face was awfully distracting and he was trying his best to keep his arms around her and not pinch her nose so she'd close her eyes and not look at him with such breathless anticipation.

"Yes you are," she nodded, her nose almost brushing against his. Gods, if he didn't get away from her soon, she would end up punching him or kissing him. That was her nervousness quotient. A punch would obviously be a lot more convenient.

"Then…" he shook his head, leaning down and bringing his lips fatally close to her ear. "…I guess I have no choice but to make it up to you."

Okay. She temporarily forgot about her respiratory functions. The sly bastard! She shuddered, and he smirked at the reaction.

"Can you?" she questioned, still a little breathless but catching on to the game. Payback time.

"Can what?" he asked.

"Make it up to me?" she raised an eyebrow, a suggestive smirk creeping its way across her lips.

"You doubt that?" he said, equally suggestive in his tone.

"I… wouldn't put it past you," she blushed, her eyes dropping to her feet. Her stomach lurched at every damp breath of his that caressed against her cheek. He definitely didn't know how devastatingly combustible she felt this close to him. Or he simply didn't care. Either way, she was highly flammable and he was obviously fire. She reached up on her toes to kiss him. Damn he was tall. Pulling him down by the necklace was the only way she could get around to doing it. He reacted to her advance with a fierceness that made her shudder, pushing her smack against the wall. In the trance, he pushed down the handle of the door next to her and they ended up stumbling into the storage room.

"Ow," Xena rubbed the side of her head that had hit against something in the dark. "I can't see a thing."

Ace lit a weak flame over his fingertip, just enough for her to make out his flushed face. Their forms were barely more than indistinct ghostly shadows.

"Ah by the way…" he said, a sort of expectant look on his face. "I heard the news."

Xena cocked her head and gave him a long, hard look. "Seriously?" She said, finally.

"What?" He said, confused. "That isn't what I was told."

"Who told you what?" Xena asked.

"Haruta. Well, he said those are basically magic words," Ace said innocently. "And you'll do whatever I ask of you."

"Ace," she said, muffling a giggle. "You're so cute."

She kissed the tip of his nose, then whispered: "You know the special trick… is to just ask me for it. And I'll do it."

"Really?" Ace said, a really it-shouldn't-be-there smirk playing on his lips.

Exactly twenty minutes later, there was a huge fire that emanated from the storage room and charred at least a tenth part of the Mobydick. Fortunately nobody was injured, the needles of suspicion pointed to exactly two people very conveniently missing from the scene.

"Well, that was a big mess," Xena panted, peeking from behind a tree in the orchard of the ship.

"Never do that anywhere near a massive storage of sake," Ace said, still gasping for breath. "Taken note."

Xena pressed her lips tightly together and nodded. Oh some people were going to get really mad.

"More importantly," Ace said, taking her hands. "Are you hurt?"

"Just safe by a hairlength," she said.

"I'm… I'm so sorry, Xena," he said, going a little red in the face. "I didn't think it could happen."

"Ace," she said, grinning. "I'm literally playing with fire here, ain't I?"

"Careful or it might singe you," he said, suggestively.

Xena took his face in her hands and kissed him again, knocking him down.

"If you straddle me like that," he said. "We're gonna end up setting fire to the orchard and that Thatch will never forgive."

"As if we haven't already made enough people mad," Xena grinned, sliding down to pillow her head on his shoulder. "I guess we should hide out here for the night and let the flames die down a little."

"You're not gonna let me live this down, are you?" Ace rolled his eyes.

Xena giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck. They lay there in silence, gazing up at the bleak night sky with nary a star and just a sliver of a moon.

"What are you thinking right now?" He said, out of the blue.

"Just that… I ended up in paradise." She mumbled. "You're my paradise, Ace."

"Then I hope you don't ever have too much of the paradise." Ace said, musing. "What will I do if you get bored with it."

"Idiot." She murmured, sleepily. Then suddenly, she raised her head to look him straight in the eyes and asked: "Ace, am I really allowed to be this happy?"

"If I am, so are you," he said, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "And I sure as fuck deserve it."

"Am I allowed to be a little scared?" She said. "You know when you get too much of what you want, you start to get scared of losing it."

"Don't be." Ace said, yawning. "I'm going to live by you every day that I live from here."

"I'll stick with you," she said, closing her eyes. His warmth was enough to lull her demons into slumber. There was nothing to be scared of.

A/N: haha I'm going to very shamelessly grin here if you got cavities out of that chapter. Also, sorry for the little bleak part in the end. I'm just not the unadulterated-happiness person (even if it's Christmas). I'm posting this chapter here sitting in an unassuming corner and pretending to do a lot of important stuff so I don't have too much time before I'm found out and put to work. Well, anyway.

Thank you for reading.

Reviews will be loved to the moon and back.