Chapter 21 – want and need
The rest of the afternoon was exactly what Alex needed, just hanging out with Piper and Lucy, distracting herself from thoughts of Robbie and the police. Piper had told Alex about Lucy wanting to leave the sleepover because of the kids saying things about her. That was nothing new, and Alex had a pretty good idea of what they would have said. It would have just been kids being stupid, saying things about her being gay or taking drugs. Alex hated that Lucy was subjected to those taunts, but she also proud of the fact that Lucy would always stand up for her. She was proud because Lucy would grow up to be open minded, to not make snap judgements about people before she knew them. Lucy grew up being taught that everyone was different, and those differences were a good thing, it's what made life interesting. She didn't look at Alex as gay, she looked at Alex as her sister that fell in love just like everyone else. She saw Alex and Piper the same as any other couple, it didn't even occur to her to think of them as any different. Even though they didn't have a privileged upbringing, Alex considered Lucy to be luckier than many of her friends in so many ways, because she was never taught to hate. Lucy had more friends than Alex ever did growing up. Alex had always preferred to stick to herself, whereas Lucy loved to talk to everyone and make new friends.
Alex and Lucy sat at the kitchen table playing cards while Piper and Diane decided to start on dinner. There didn't need to be any serious conversation, it was just easy, it flowed. It was that bond between them that only seemed to get stronger as time went by. It didn't matter that they had different fathers, they never considered their bond to be any lesser because of that. Also, Lucy looked so much like Alex in so many ways, it made most people forget they were technically half-sisters. They very rarely spoke about their fathers, they had both grown up without them, relying solely on Diane to show them the way. Occasionally Lucy would ask about her dad and Alex's dads, but the conversations never lasted long. The truth was that the two girls knew very little about their fathers, and it wasn't a topic Diane was keen to go into detail about. The most Diane would say to Lucy was that her father loved her, but he had problems that meant he couldn't stay. Deep down Lucy wished her dad hadn't left, but that didn't in any way diminish her love for Alex and Diane.
Lucy smiled as she beat Alex for the second time in a row, "you're really bad at this game Ally, are you even trying?"
"Yes shit head, I am trying," Alex kicked Lucy under the table and smiled at her as they kept playing.
"C'mon Alex, try to keep the language clean in front of her," Diane turned to look at her two daughters as she tried to decide what they should eat. The weather was starting to get colder, so they ended up deciding on tomato soup and toast. Lucy played in the lounge room after dinner as Diane, Alex and Piper sat in the kitchen and chatted about nothing in particular. Alex was ecstatic that Diane had finally reduced her shifts, giving her so much more time at home. Alex loved them just being able to sit around the kitchen table and talk about everything and anything, just having her mum in the apartment more was nice.
Just like so many nights before, Lucy fell asleep on the couch by 9pm. Diane was about to wake the young girl up when Alex stopped her, "it's okay mum, I'll take her to bed." Alex walked towards the lounge room and picked up her little sister, slowly walking towards her room. She lay Lucy down on the bed, but she still didn't wake up, that kid slept like a log. Alex pulled off her socks and sweats, before slipping her into her favourite purple pyjamas. Still, through all of that, Lucy still didn't wake up. Alex pulled back the blue blanket, which used to be hers, and tucked Lucy in for the night. Just when Alex was about to get up from the bed, Lucy reached out for her, wanting a hug before she left. Alex leant over and wrapped her little sister into a big hug, letting Lucy nuzzle her face in Alex's long hair. Alex held onto her for another moment before tucking her back under the covers, turning off the light and heading back to the kitchen. Diane and Piper were still sitting at the kitchen table, talking about the finishing touches Piper was putting on her short story book. Alex poured herself an orange juice before sitting herself next to Piper.
"I don't know how you can still carry her like that Alex, she's not exactly small anymore."
Alex laughed at her mum's comment. It's true, Lucy wasn't a baby anymore, she'd be turning 11 soon. But in some ways Alex didn't want her to grow up and not need her anymore. She liked the fact that Lucy still crawled into her bed at night, and called her when she needed someone. She still wanted to be able to pick Lucy up off the couch and carry her to bed, even if she was getting taller by the day. Soon enough the kid would enter her teenage years, and Alex was pretty sure at that stage that Lucy wouldn't want to crawl into her big sister's bed anymore.
"What can I say, I'm obviously way stronger than you," Alex said with a smirk.
"Keep telling yourself that kiddo!"
The three women stayed up for another hour before Diane headed to bed, she had an early shift the next morning. Alex and Piper moved to the couch, where they snuggled under a blanket and flipped around the TV stations. Alex wasn't working the next day, so would be the one to take Lucy to and from school. Piper had a short shift at the library and a meeting with her publisher.
The two women were sitting next to each other on the couch under the blanket. Alex had taken off her bra to get comfortable and was resting her head on Piper's shoulder. All night, Piper couldn't get Alex's words out of her mind, make love to me. Piper wanted to show Alex how much she loved her, and her arousal was building. Piper slipped her hand under the blanket and under Alex's tank top so she could massage her breasts. Piper heard Alex's breath hitch in her throat as Piper continued to slowly run her hand in circular motions over Alex's bare skin. Alex moved her head so she could look directly at Piper, who didn't waste any time in dipping her head to kiss her girlfriend. The kiss started out slowly, Piper gently running her tongue over Alex's bottom lip before slowly moving it into her mouth. The two girls continued to kiss as Piper moved her hand to Alex's other breast, while the other rested on the back of Alex's head, pulling her into the kiss. Piper moved her hand from Alex's breast and moved it over her stomach, running her finger's tenderly over every inch of her girlfriend's incredibly soft and smooth skin. She eventually moved her hand lower, under the waistband of Alex's shorts. She rubbed her hand in long motions over Alex's centre, over the top of her underwear. Piper could already feel the heat radiating from her girlfriend as she started to kiss down her neck slowly before capturing her lips again.
Without needing to speak, Piper pulled Alex into their room, making sure the door was firmly closed behind them. Piper pushed Alex's old desk chair against the door to make sure no one could just walk in. Piper then flicked on Alex's CD player on low volume, which started playing The Breeders in the background. Piper wanted this to be all about Alex, nothing else. She walked Alex to the double bed and sat her down. She slowly pulled off Alex's tank top and shorts, leaving her sitting on the bed in her black boy shorts. Piper placed her hands on Alex's cheeks, lightly moving her fingers over the soft skin before leaning down to kiss her again. Piper kept the kiss going as she moved Alex into a lying position on the bed, with Piper lying on top of her. Piper kept kissing Alex on the mouth as her hands moved over her girlfriend's torso, starting at her incredibly soft breasts and slowly making her way down over her stomach. Piper could feel Alex responding to each and every touch underneath her. Alex had started to breathe much more heavily, and desperately sought out Piper's lips. Alex kept moving up her own hips to try and get more contact with Piper, which didn't go unnoticed. Piper looked directly into Alex's green eyes, placing her hands on either side of her head to hold herself up. Piper started to grind her hips against Alex's in slow, hard motions. Piper didn't kiss her at first, and solely focussed on the movement of her hips. Piper could tell Alex was enjoying the extra contact as her breathing became faster and she started to make soft moaning sounds. Alex now had her eyes shut as she placed her hands on Piper's hips in an attempt to pull her closer. As Alex leaned her head back with her mouth slightly open, Piper leaned back down to steal a kiss, but this time she kept the kiss going as she continued grinding her core against Alex's. She could feel the heat radiating from between Alex's thighs, and decided it was time to take things to the next level. Piper moved her fingertips to Alex's underwear and slowly pulled them off, throwing them to the end of the bed. She held onto Alex's thighs as she pulled the younger girl closer to her. Piper started kissing Alex's cheek, then lips, and slowly made her way down her girlfriend's body. Piper slowly kissed Alex's breasts and nipples, her stomach, and then settled herself between the brunette's thighs. Piper licked and kissed the inside of each thigh until she focussed herself on Alex's core.
Piper placed her hands on Alex's thighs and slowly moved them further apart as she moved her tongue over Alex's clit. Piper took her time, this wasn't just about sex, this was about showing Alex how special she was. Piper wanted this single act to show Alex know how much she loved her, no matter what happened in the future. Alex tried to stay quiet as Piper took her closer to the edge, she was so close to coming undone. Alex used one hand to grasp the sheet as Piper reached out and grabbed the other. Piper intertwined their fingers as Alex thrust her hips upwards and came in Piper's mouth. Alex felt the orgasm move through her entire body, it was more tender and warm than any other time they'd had sex before. Piper brought Alex down from her orgasm before moving her body back on top of her girlfriend and kissing her, "I love you Al."
Alex wrapped her arms around Piper's neck, she didn't want to let go. She loved the feeling of Piper's body pressed against hers, holding her close, "I love you too." Piper moved so she was lying beside Alex, wrapping her arms around the brunette until they both fell asleep.
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Piper left the apartment early the next morning for her library shift, while Alex took Lucy to school. Diane had left before any of them to start her shift at the diner. Alex called Kerry as soon as she got home from dropping Lucy off and arranged for another appointment the following week. She hadn't discussed it with Diane, but she wanted to ask Kerry about Diane maybe coming to a session with her. Even though Diane put up a tough front, Alex was still worried about her and wanted to make sure she was coping, especially considering the accusations they would face in court. Those accusations wouldn't just impact on Alex, they would also hit Diane hard. Diane would be forced to face people that would know Robbie implied he had an affair with her daughter. Alex was hopeful that Kerry would be able to help Diane, but the money would still be an issue. She didn't want to worry about that yet, she would discuss it with Piper when the time was right.
Everyone kept telling her to just relax at home, to not worry about the trial, but that was not an option for Alex. She couldn't just sit there and not try and fix things while she had a chance. She knew it was probably a bad idea, but she needed answers, so she let herself dial Emily's number, desperately hoping she'd answer.
Two hours later and Emily was standing in front of Alex in the Vause apartment. Alex had briefly explained the situation on the phone and Emily had agreed to come over. Alex didn't know what to expect, but at least Emily appeared to be sober. She knew Piper would be angry about this, but Alex was sick of waiting, and part of her thought it was better for her to do this without Piper. The two girls sat across from each other at the kitchen table, neither wanting to be the first one to speak. Alex decided to break the ice, "look, I know things have never been great between us, but I could really use your help. If you can just shed some more light on what happened between you and Robbie, it could help put him away."
Emily looked blankly at Alex from across the table before looking her in the eye, "I want to help you, that's why I contacted you in the first place. I know I'm fucked up, I take drugs, I've lost control of my life. It's not easy to talk about, I don't know if I could stand up and say it in a court room, saying it to you is hard enough."
"Just tell me what he did to you, please." Alex felt like she was begging, but she didn't even care.
This was the first time Emily looked truly sad, almost broken. She kept looking at the table top, trying to decide where to start her story and how much to tell. "He and my mum were together for a pretty long time, they were both pretty fucked up people so that's probably why. The relationship was always rocky, I don't know how they stayed together for so long. He pushed her around a lot, but of course he apologised and she always let him stay. Anyway, the problems for me didn't really start until I was about 15. I brought a girl home and he flipped out! As you worked out the hard way, he doesn't deal well with people like us."
Alex looked at Emily as she told her story, it clearly wasn't an easy topic for her. Alex almost felt bad about forcing Emily to relive her dark past for purely selfish reasons. But at the same time she figured this is part of what Emily wanted all along, to make sure that Robbie couldn't keep hurting people like this. That's what made sense to Alex, she couldn't see any other reason why Emily would have kept in contact with her for so long.
Emily continued her story, obviously struggling with the details, especially when sober, "it's funny, when I first met you, I was so happy that you agreed to meet. I didn't want you to go through the things that I did. Then I met you, and you were so pretty, I liked you. Then I found out you had a girlfriend and it was just like, here's something else I can't have. It's so fucked up, I wanted to help you, but I wanted you to like me too. Anyway, all the bad stuff for me really started after that night he realised who I really was. Probably started similar to how it did for you, pushing and shoving, intimidation. After a while he didn't even bother hiding it from my mum, by that point she was too fucking drunk all the time to care. That just made it worse, he knew he could do what he wanted and she was too pathetic to stand up for me."
Emily paused, fiddling with her jumper as she willed herself to finish the story, "so that's where he just started doing what he wanted with me. Mum was generally passed out most nights, so he'd come into my room and….that was it. I would stay away for as long as I could, but whenever I went back, he was always there to take advantage. After a while I stopped going back, I couldn't, and my mum just kept telling me to leave. I don't know if she even knew what was going on, she's better now, but back then….she was a fucking mess."
Alex reached across the table and grabbed Emily's hand, "I'm really sorry you had to go through all that on your own."
Emily just grimaced as she forced herself to go on, "I ended up getting an abortion because of that asshole, I never told him though, or my mum. I don't even know what made my mum throw him out eventually, maybe she realised how fucking pathetic he was when she managed to sober up. So yeah…I don't talk to my mum much anymore, he ruined my whole fucking life." Emily paused again and stared off into the distance. Alex felt her chest constrict at hearing this story, she felt sorry for Emily. Alex couldn't even imagine coping with her own situation without support from Diane and Piper, Emily had to deal with it all without help from anyone. Alex was still confused by Emily and all of her strange behaviours, but considering what she'd been through, maybe it wasn't all that surprising.
"But I don't think I can say that stuff in a courtroom Alex. I'm willing to give a statement to the police, but that's it. Like I said, I like you, I want to help, so I hope that's enough."
Alex had no idea if it would be enough but at least it was a starting point. She wanted to arrange for Emily to speak with Officer Bennett, but she wanted to be there for that conversation. Alex appreciated Emily agreeing to come over and talk about it all, but she still didn't completely trust her. Just as Alex was about to call Officer Bennett to set up a meeting time, Piper walked through the front door. She looked at Alex in shock as she saw Emily sitting in their kitchen, Alex hadn't planned for Piper to find out this way and had no idea how to deal with the situation. Piper's shock soon turned to anger, and Alex knew she needed to diffuse the situation quickly.