DC: I don't own it
Thank you to my reviewers
Chapter 21,
Edward found Oriyon walking through downtown. He pulled over and rolled down the window.
"C'mon Ori, it's getting late."
Oriyon didn't argue. He got into the car and Fish licked his face. He didn't say anything and Edward wondered if it meant he was going mute again.
"I was worried about you."
"I'll bet."
"I don't like that tone," Edward said, trying to sound like his father. Or at least what he could remember.
"Yeah well..."
"Alright," Edward said finally, "I'm tired of this. Oriyon I am your father and I am trying to help you deal with this. You're fifteen years old, too old to be acting like a little brat. I know you're hurting, and I know you're lost and confused, but you have to let someone help you."
"Yeah well what if I don't want your help," Oriyon snapped.
"Then I won't help you," Edward sighed, "but someone else will."
"Whatever," Oriyon sighed. He looked out the window and folded his arms.
---
"Oriyon Anthony Cullen you are going to be the death of me!" Bella cried as he came in. She trapped him in her arms and checked to make sure that he was okay. "What am I going to do with you?"
"I'm going to bed," he said in his monotone and pushed by her. Bella looked at Edward, confused and hurt, as Oriyon went into his room and shut the door. Edward raised his hands and looked like he was about to start ranting but caught himself. He shook his head and disappeared into their bedroom to take a shower and sleep. Bella followed, to find out more about what exactly happened.
Oriyon peeled his clothes off and threw him into the hamper. He caught his reflection in the mirror. The bruises had faded but he could still see them as if they were clear and fresh. He bit his lip so hard he cracked the skin and tasted blood. He punched the mirror and it shattered, cutting his knuckles. He hissed as the pain and pulled his hand back as large chunks of glass fell to the carpet.
I'm doing this because of what you are
He shook his head and bit down on his hand to keep from screaming out loud. He heard the gunshot in his ears and when he squeezed his eyes closed he saw Charlie beating his mother. He grabbed one of the big shards of glass and gripped it tight in his hand. He bit onto one of his shirts and tore a long strip off. He used the cloth as a type of gag to keep himself quiet as his rage and pain bubbled in his throat. He couldn't see anything clearly. His vision was blurred and tinged with red.
He jerked his arm and there was hot pain. He bit down harder on the makeshift gag. In his head he was screaming but outside all that could be heard was grunts and moans. Another jerk of his arm and more pain. A few more jerks and more pain. He fell onto his bed, panting and aching. He spat out the soaking cloth and coughed. He closed his eyes. He was cold but he didn't care.
---
"Oriyon," Bella said softly, knocking on his door. "Are you asleep?"
She heard a soft snore. She sighed and bumped her forehead lightly against the wooden door. She sighed and turned. She walked into the bedroom and sat on the bed. She took out her knitting and waited for Edward to say something.
"You're putting too much tension into the stitches," he said.
"What did you two say?" she asked.
"When?"
"When he ran off?!"
"I told you! He yelled at me and said I had no idea what he was going through and ran off. I don't know what to do with him, Bells. I feel like he hates me."
"Do you think I should put him in therapy?" Bella asked.
"I think that's what he needs," Edward said, "I don't want to push him but at the same time I do. I'm afraid that he could start acting out violently either towards himself or others. He won't talk to his friends about it and he sure as hell won't talk to me about it. You're the closest person to him and I see him pushing you away."
"Charlie is probably loving this while he's burning in hell."
"No doubt."
Bella put her knitting aside and laid down. She closed her eyes and sighed. "It was so much easier when he was little. I miss him. I feel like I haven't seen my son in a month. I don't know this stranger."
"I know," Edward sighed. "We'll figure something out."
Bella nodded. She hoped so. She couldn't shake the feeling that he was slipping away from her. That was her biggest fear. One day she would wake up and her little Ori would be gone.
---
Oriyon opened his eyes when the sun came in. He sat up and winced at the pain. He looked down and saw thin cuts across his stomach. He ran a hand through his messy hair and realized that it had been a few days since he last washed it. He pulled a shirt on and walked to the bathroom. He wrapped his cast in the usual plastic wrap and grabbed the medical tape. He sighed and went out into the living room.
"Morning," Edward said.
"Where's mom?" he asked.
"Out with Alice. They're getting furniture for the new house. What's up?"
"Nothing," Oriyon sighed. Edward stood and took the role of tape from his hand.
"You can ask me for help you know."
"I'm fine," Oriyon protested.
"Mmhm. Remember what happened the last time?" Oriyon blushed a little. Edward taped off the plastic wrap and ruffled his hair. "There you go sport."
"Thanks."
Edward nodded and a splash of red caught his eye. He snagged Oriyon's arm as he walked off. "What happened to your shirt?"
"Nothing."
"Ori," Edward said. He turned Oriyon's hand over and saw cuts on his hand. "What's this?"
"Nothing!"
Edward grabbed the hem of Oriyon's shirt and pulled it up. Oriyon winced as the cotton rubbed the cut and Edward gasped. "Jesus Oriyon!"
"It's nothing!"
"You sliced your stomach open!"
"I said it's nothing now leave me alone!"
"You're cutting," Edward accused. "Oriyon this is serious! Your hand needs stitches and I'm sure at least one of these do too."
"Just leave me alone!"
"Clearly I can see what happens if I do that!"
"LEAVE ME ALONE EDWARD!" Oriyon yelled. He pushed Edward back and ran into the bathroom where he slammed and locked the door. Edward ran to the bathroom and banged on the door. Oriyon looked up from where he sat on the toilet and glared.
Edward felt tears burn his eyes. He put his hand against the door. He could see the cuts all over Oriyon's skin. He peered into his bedroom and saw shattered glass. He bit his lip and knocked on the bathroom door again.
"Please, Oriyon, please let me help you."
"You want to help me?! Help me by leaving me alone!"
"I won't! Oriyon I won't leave you alone because I am too scared. I'm scared that you'll hurt yourself again! I love you, Oriyon. You are my son and I love you too much to take the chance of losing you. Ori please, I know you're hurting, I know you're in pain and I want to help. Please let me help you!"
Oriyon rubbed his eyes with the heel of his palm and sniffed. "What do you know about it?! What does anyone know?!"
"Please," Edward pleaded through the door, "Oriyon you're hurting yourself!"
"Just let me be alone," Oriyon cried, "you and mom can just get on with your happy lives and have your perfect new baby together."
Oriyon went to the shower and grabbed his mom's razor. He stomped on the end and grabbed the sharpest shard he could found. If he stabbed it hard enough into his arms..he stabbed into one. It hurt and he hissed in pain and bit his lip. He pulled the bloody plastic out and looked at it.
"Oriyon! Please if not for me then for your mother," Edward begged. "She loves you. She needs you, Ori. You're her son and the every time we were together she would tell me about how she worried about you being away and how much she missed you. Don't you understand?! You're her son and she loves you! If you don't believe that I love you then you must believe that she does."
Edward broke into the bathroom. Oriyon looked over at him and Edward grabbed his arm.
"STOP IT!" Oriyon screamed.
Edward grabbed the first aid kit from the bathroom closet and sat Oriyon down on the toilet. "I don't know what I'm going to do with you," he said as he pressed gauze to the cut on his arm.
"Just let me die then," Oriyon grumbled.
Edward's vision blurred as he bandaged the cut. Oriyon's words stung him. His fingers slipped on the bandage and he abandoned it. He pulled the teenager into his arms and held him tight. Oriyon's eyes widened in surprise as he felt Edward's tears on his shoulder.
"Please, Oriyon, you and Bella are my whole life. I almost lost you for good and I don't want that."
Oriyon felt his own tears come. He wrapped his arms around Edward's shoulders and cried into his shoulder. "I don't know what's wrong with me! I'm so angry all the time!"
"I know son, I know," Edward said gently, "please let me help you. I know more than you think."
"You didn't kill your brother," Oriyon reminded him, "it was an accident. I killed him. I killed Charlie. Whenever I close my eyes I see Charlie trying to kill mom. I hear the gunshot in my head and then...I can't control myself. I kept cutting myself and it hurt so bad but I couldn't stop."
"Alright son, alright, we're going to call you a therapist right now," Edward said, "I promise I will do whatever it takes to make you better."
"Are you going to tell mom?" he asked.
"How about this," Edward said pulling away, "I am going to take you to the hospital and get you stitches for that cut on your stomach. While we're there I'm going to get a referral to a therapist. Then when we get home you will tell her."
"No," Oriyon moaned, "Anything but that!"
Edward helped him up and they left the apartment.
---
"Where were you two?" Bella asked when they came home. Edward put his hand on Oriyon's shoulder and gave him a reassuring look.
"Mom," he said quietly, "we need to talk."
He looked back towards Edward. His heart raced and he felt it was harder to breathe. He sat down on the sofa and Edward sat next to him. Bella looked at them curiously.
"Oh, you got your cast off! I thought you had an appointment tomorrow."
"We didn't want to make another trip," Oriyon mumbled. "M-mom...I...had to get stitches today."
"Oh no! What happened?!" Bella looked over at Edward. Edward didn't say anything.
"I-I-I..." he looked over at Edward for help. He couldn't bring himself to say it. "I c-c-c... Dad I can't."
Edward put his hand on his shoulder. He wasn't going to help him with this one. He couldn't. Oriyon had to say it himself. He looked at Bella and his voice was barely there.
"Mom I-I-I c-c-cut..."
"What?" Bella gasped. "Oriyon why...how...why?!"
"Bella, honey, calm down," Edward said, he looked over at Oriyon and silently told him that he would take it from here, "we have set up an appointment with a therapist and he will be seeing him twice a week."
"I want to start school again," he said, "but I want to stay at home for this semester."
"The doctors think that what he needs right now is to become familiar with his family."
Bella nodded. "We'll be in the new house and everything will be better, I promise honey."
Oriyon let Bella hug him tight, and he didn't complain when she hurt his cuts. He could just think of it as punishment for doing it in the first place. Bella stroked his hair and kissed his cheek.
"Anything we have to do honey, anything at all, just so you can get better."
"I love you mom," Oriyon sobbed. "I'm sorry."
Bella sighed and continued to soothe him while he cried. Edward put his hand on Oriyon's shoulder and kissed the side of his head. "We love you very much," he murmured. Oriyon looked over and smiled sadly. His parents didn't release him for a long time. He didn't want them to. They cared about him and even though the darkest part of his head tried to tell him that it was all a lie, he wasn't going to believe it.
---
"Why do you think you're having so much trouble adjusting?" the therapist, a young man named Robert, asked gently.
Oriyon shrugged. He twisted his fingers until they burned. He kept glancing at the clock. He was supposed to meet his friends after the appointment.
"Oriyon?"
"I don't know," he said hotly. "Edward is great. Sometimes I can accept him and sometimes I can't."
"Do you think it could be an instability problem?"
"We've already established that I'm unstable."
Robert laughed softly, "no, no, I mean an instability in the family."
Oriyon shrugged. What did he know of what a normal family was supposed to be like? He had guesses after observing his aunts and uncles for years, but he thought that his family was normal.
"Edward has shared with me that he believe that you don't like him."
Oriyon's attention snapped back to Robert. "What? Really?"
"Do you like him?" Robert asked.
"Yes," Oriyon answered, "I liked him before I knew he was my dad."
"Ah, but what about after?"
Oriyon nodded. "He's a nice guy. I was just angry. I was angry with everyone."
"But you're still angry with him," Robert guessed. Oriyon raised his eyebrows. "Subtle hints tell me that while you say you like him and accept him, you don't. That maybe you're doing it for your mother."
Oriyon shrugged. He felt the familiar bubble in his throat. "We'll you're the therapist aren't you?" He asked smoothly, his voice coated with venom and ice. "Why don't you just tell me what I feel?"
Robert looked surprised and wrote a note or two. "I'm just trying to figure you out, Oriyon. Along the way I will try to help you find out what is troubling you."
"I shot my grandfather in the face after he beat the shit out of me and was beating my mother," Oriyon snarled, "that's the problem, doc."
"Perhaps you're facing some post traumatic stress..."
"No," Oriyon said sarcastically. Robert looked at him sadly.
"I'll be speaking with your parents," he warned, "after this session."
"Be my guest."
"Remember that at any time you can decide that you want to keep these sessions confidential. In that case all I can do is alert them to possible disorders or behaviors that I feel need outside attention. What you tell me in here is safe."
"Whatever," Oriyon sighed.
---
"Ori!" Mina said happily. Oriyon smiled and hugged her and then greeted his other two friends. Bella smiled and Edward handed Oriyon his coat.
"How was it?" He asked.
"Alright," Oriyon said with a shrug, "I don't think he knows what he's taking about."
Edward laughed and ruffled his hair.
"Miss Swan I would like to speak to you and Mr. Cullen," Robert said. They nodded.
"We'll be back in a moment," Bella promised gently. Oriyon nodded and sat on one of the padded benches. They followed the doctor back into his office and took a seat.
"So how is he doing?" Bella asked. "It's been a couple weeks but could there be any improvement?"
"I think I've found his problem," Robert said hesitantly. "The session went well enough. He was quiet and answered mostly in shrugs. I believed that the problem was in the new family. I believe that he harbors anger towards you, Edward. I think he likes you as a person but he is still angry. He is squashing that anger because he knows it makes his mother upset to see him like that. When I suggested it..."
"What?" Edward asked.
"He got very cold and angry," Robert said, remembering the way that Oriyon snapped at him. "He got very sarcastic and seemed more and more irritated."
"What does that mean exactly?" Bella asked.
"I have some theories, but I've noticed whenever the subject is brought up he changes. He becomes angry and defensive. But it's more than that," Robert said slowly and (in Edward's opinion) sounding a bit unsure, "he not only gets defensive and sarcastic but angry. His doctor told me that he was treated for cuts on his stomach."
"Ori said that he blacked out in a sense. He couldn't control himself."
"It's almost as if he's split," Robert said grimly, "I'm seeing two parts of him. I see the sad but normal boy who loves his parents and then there is the darker part of him. The part that is very aware of the fact that he shot and killed a man. He also seems to realize that the reasoning behind Charlie's rage was because of who he came from. That is why he seems to harbor anger towards you, Edward."
"I see," Edward said quietly, "what do you recommend, doctor?"
"I think what he needs is time," Robert suggested. "Time to realize that what happened was neither his fault or yours. Right now his violence and anger is acting as a defense, protecting himself from dealing with what happened."
Edward looked over at Bella who was looking sadly at her hands. Bella closed her eyes and sighed. It was never going to end. Pain and life would go hand in hand for her. She stood up and left Edward to deal with the therapist. She walked down the hall and saw Oriyon playing around with his friends. She saw a child sitting there instead of a teenager. A little boy waiting for her to finish with whatever appointment she had.
Bella turned the corner, tucking the prescription in her pocket. Oriyon was sitting in the waiting room with A. J. The two boys were playing with trucks, laughing. He was just barely over seven. He had taken his coat off and Bella laughed to find that even though it was toasty in the room, A. J kept his coat on. He would not reveal the silly sweater Alice made him wear. Oriyon looked up at her.
"Mama!" he said happily. He jumped up and ran over to her. He jumped up and she hugged her. "Are you better?"
"Yes," Bella said with a smile. She grabbed his coat and pulled it on, then made sure that both of them wore their gloves and hats. "C'mon A. J. Let's go get some lunch."
"Yay!"
Bella took their small hands and thanked the receptionist for watching them. Oriyon trotted along side her, grinning. In the wintery sunlight Bella could see the red highlights in his dark hair. Highlights that Charlie and Jacob dismissed as hers but she knew. He looked up at her with his sweet hazel eyes.
"Bella?"
Bella looked over and felt Edward's warm arms around her shoulders. "Are you alright?"
Bella nodded slightly. She pulled out of his arms and walked over to Oriyon. She reached for his coat to give it to him but he beat her to it.
"Let's go," he said, sounding tired. Bella nodded and tried to put his hat on but he walked off with his friends before he could. Edward slipped his hand into hers. She watched the four teens walk to the car with each other and Bella felt tears in her eyes. Edward gave her hand a squeeze and kissed her temple. He didn't know what to say so he didn't say anything. They walked to the car and got in. Edward drove in silence, listening to the sound of the teenagers chattering and for a sign that Bella was okay.
"Edward, could you drop me off at the house?" she asked, "I want to work on unpacking."
"Are you sure?" Edward asked.
Bella nodded. "I promise no heavy lifting. Just unpacking some boxes."
"Alright," Edward said hesitantly. Bella smiled at him and then went back to gazing out the window.
---
Bella sat in her room unpacking boxes of pictures. She set up a golden frame with Oriyon's first baby portrait in it. She picked up an album and flipped through it. Oriyon smiled up at her from every picture. Pictures of them laughing at the beach or playing in the snow. Bella rubbed the tears from her eyes with one shaky hand. Her baby boy. Her precious baby boy wasn't hers anymore. He was becoming a man with every passing day. He was going through something she couldn't help him with. When he was little she could fix everything. When he cried she was there with a tissue to dry his tears and a kiss to make it go away. How easy it had been back then.
Now he was someone else. A stranger personality created to protect himself from her mistakes. She knew what had to be done. The day Oriyon was born she knew there was a chance Charlie would learn the truth. She had thought about her dark course once. She could kill Charlie in his sleep but what next? Prison for the rest of her life at best? But looking at how her son was suffering now she should have done it.
"I have never seen a more enchanting woman," Edward murmured, "nor one so sad."
Bella turned quickly. How long had she been lost in her thoughts?
"Ori wasn't feeling well," Edward explained, "I dropped the others off and he's taking a shower before going to bed."
"It's strange," Bella said softly, "just months ago we were laying in his bed and I was telling him everything. He was my little boy. He didn't know anything of violence or hatred. Now...now he's this stranger that keeps the Ori I know tucked away."
"I think once he accepts what happened things will get better," Edward pulled Bella to her feet and kissed her softly. "How is the baby?"
"Hanging on," Bella murmured, "she isn't as strong as Ori was."
Edward laid her down and rubbed her belly softly. He kissed her cheek and Bella turned her head. She kissed his lips slowly and softly. Edward's hand moved up to her cheek. He stroked her cheekbone with his thumb. Bella smiled and slipped her tongue out against his lower lip. She pulled it softly between her lips and sucked on it. Edward moaned softly as she nibbled oh so gently on his lip. He ran his hand through her hair and held her tighter to him.
"Edward," she whispered.
"Yes?"
"Can we stop?" she asked with difficulty. "I don't want to risk losing it."
Edward knew she meant the baby. She was worried about it. He held his hand over her belly again. He knew she had a reason to be worried. After all it was a miracle that the baby was still there. He moved down and lifted her shirt. He bunched it around her chest and touched her bare skin. Bella shivered under his fingers, still cool from the night, and took in a sharp breath. He smiled and kissed her belly. He pulled a pillow down and rested his head on it while he rubbed soothing circles on her stomach.
"Hang in there beautiful baby," he murmured. "Do you think it's a boy or a girl?"
"A girl," Bella said softly, "a beautiful little girl."
"Please hang on," Edward murmured against Bella's belly. Bella smiled and brushed her hands through his hair. She closed her eyes and before long she was fast asleep.
TBC
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