Love you guys. Thanks for over 4,500 reads! This is an unedited chapter, so I will go back and revise later. You guys deserve an update. THIS CHAPTER WAS WROTE IN SCRIPT AGAIN :( Sorry
A worried expression crawled upon the man's face, and this man never was worried. He seemed to bottle all his emotions up, and play them off as if it were a joke, but inside, his stomach would churn in worry. The nation of Poland tapped his foot impatiently on the hospital floor, holding a small bouquet of red poppies. They drooped a bit, since Feliks had bought them way too early in his nervous fit to see his friend.
He had even dressed up for his old friend. He was wearing a pretty blue button up shirt, tucked into light brown pants. They were all soft and comfortable, which was good because he had waited in said clothes for hours in the hospital. His hair was straight, but he had managed to braid a bit of his left bangs and pull it back from his face with a pin.
Later I can wear my favorite pink clothes, he thought, but now, I won't stress him out with my fabulous colors.
Finally, fed up with himself and the world, Poland stalked over to the human nurse who looked like she was going to groan when she saw the man.
"Like, when are they going to take visitors? It's been over a few hours, I'm sure!" he whined, trying to keep himself composed, but failing miserably.
The woman was nice, she really was. She had brown hair tucked into a little bun and wore common nurse attire, and she had a seemingly pleasant aura. But after Feliks had asked her about a thousand times to see Toris, she looked like she was going to wring the man's neck.
"Sir, I told you, after he is stabilized you can see him," she grit out, planting a fake smile across her face.
"I know, lady, but I need to see him!" Poland complained. He either didn't care that the nurse was going to explode in frustration, or was just ignoring her.
Before Feliks could pull another temper tantrum, the phone that was situated on her desk rang. Poland eyed it, willing every one of his thoughts to scream Please be him!
She picked it up before Feliks could snatch it out of her grasp, and said a tired, "Hello?"
Poland waited in desperation, leaning over the counter to better hear what the other line had to say. The nurse, however, gave him a dirty look as she replied quick "Yes"s and "ok"s. The phone clicked off, and before Feliks could squeal out another annoying question on his friend's wellbeing, the nurse put up her hand and sighed a happy;
"He is awake, sir, you are able to visit him."
Poland's green eyes shone with a vivacity that hadn't been there in a long time. The nurse watched him in a muted shock as he jumped up and down excitedly, not helping the current condition of his flowers, and saying "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" in quick Polish before stumbling out of the waiting room.
"Room 6!" the nurse shouted out from behind.
"Thank you!" he repeated.
It took him a moment to realize he didn't even catch the woman's name.
Oh well, I won't ever see her again, Poland hummed in his mind. As the numbers of rooms ticked by, his light step started to slow to a haunted walk. Feliks swallowed and held the battered arrangement closer to his chest as a few ghastly thoughts crossed his mind.
Will he still be mad at me? Poland thought, not aware that he was sweating a bit, I've given it time, haven't I?
It had been a while since the two had actually seen each other. Sure, Feliks had heard Toris's shaky voice over the phone, but that was not enough. It was always hushed, afraid, or censored by the audience of a certain Russian. The last time he had seen his friend was…
In a not so friendly time.
His heart wrenched at the thought that he would have to confront these dreadful memories. He never wanted to. That's why they never mentioned anything about their past over the phone. Which also meant those severed bonds hadn't been fixed.
Poland stared at the 6 hanging above Lithuania's room in dismay.
Come on, Poland, don't act so glum, he chided, Be peppy as usual.
Smiling a semi-fake smile, Feliks opened the door with a quick motion. Light poured in from the window by Lithuania's bedside, hitting the floor and the walls around the two nations. Little specs of dust could be seen with the little to no motion in the room, creating a serene setting with only the faint beeping of a monitor disturbing the silence. Situated in a hospital bed was Lithuania, whose eyes were trained on the golden light spilled out from the window. Feliks almost didn't want to disturb the peaceful looking nation, who— despite multiple bandages and an IV protruding from his inner right arm— looked beautiful.
Poland straightened his body and kept his mind in a leisurely mindset.
Be like you were before all of the crappy wars.
"Hey, Liet," Feliks finally said, casually sauntering into the light.
Lithuania looked up, his eyes flashing in a quick display of fear. Poland immediately felt bad for disrupting him, but luckily those blue-green eyes settled when they realized whom the voice belonged to.
"Poland," Lithuania sighed in slight relief, but his body language suggested that he was being timid at all. He didn't look like a hurt puppy, begging for support like Feliks had expected. He looked like a war hero— strong and defiant, but still laced with the kindness that drew Feliks to him like a magnet.
Poland honestly didn't know how to accept this change.
Sure, he was a strong nation, and though Feliks didn't admit it, Toris had gotten him out of a lot of trouble in the past. He was strong in the face of others, when he was protecting someone else.
"You brought flowers," he added, a small smile on his face, "You beat them up pretty bad though."
Feliks blushed, looking down at the red poppies, who seemed to droop a little too much.
"It's not my fault," Feliks huffed, "You wouldn't wake up and so now they are dying. It's really your fault."
Poland snapped his mouth shut when he realized what he was saying. He had an almost immediate habit to blame everything on others.
This isn't the time to do stuff like that, idiota.
Fortunately, Toris didn't look angry at his snide comment, and just displayed that quiet smile of his.
"Of course," Lithuania whispered sadly, "I need to get well faster."
A lump in Poland's throat formed.
Poland snatched a chair from the opposite wall and dragged it to Toris's bedside, placing the slouching bouquet on the small table by the window. A few of the petals fluttered off, but they were still strikingly red and bold.
"How's independence treating yah?" Feliks tried.
Lithuania shrugged, like it wasn't some big deal. The flicker of worry grew again, and Poland could tell that the other nation was desperately trying to hide it.
"It's… not good yet," he said with hesitation.
"How come? You are away from that jerk, so is it, like, totally better?"
Toris shook his head a little, his eyes trained on the hands in his lap.
"My brothers are still with Russia, Feliks, I can't be happy just yet," he whispered softly.
"Ay, I didn't wait hours to see my mopey friend," Poland scoffed, stretching out in chair for comfort.
The mood between the two did not settle.
"I— I need to do something, you know? I'm just sitting here while they are…" Toris pursed his lips before he spoke his thoughts.
A short laugh caused Lithuania's eyes to harden and look up at Poland.
"You've been awake for, what, not even five minutes and you are moaning about not doing anything?"
"It's not like that, Feliks, I just wish I would've stopped Russia myself so we all could have left together…"
"But it wouldn't have worked out," he pointed out, earning a nasty look from Toris, "You know that. Russia is someone who needs to be dealt with over time, not rushed. It never would work."
"H-he has them though!" Liet argued, his voice shaking a bit. Feliks blinked in surprise when he could see the hatred in Lithuania's eyes.
Poland blew out a curt breath of air, unsatisfied with his friend's decision.
"You were always like this, Liet, you need to relax and get better."
"H-How can you say that?" Toris returned, "How d-do you know that they aren't… That they aren't…."
Feliks felt his heart constrict. He knew that he needed to be quiet, for Lithuania's sake. He knew his friend had just been released from that jerk, so how did Toris honestly think like this? Why wasn't he happy to be free— happy to see Poland? Did he not care enough to hug him, or say one loving thing to him?
Nothing?
"Well, like, have you forgotten I'm here, Liet? Have you forgotten that you just freaking escape Russia of all people? Can't you show a shed of— of happiness?!" Poland snapped.
Feliks wanted to feel bad when those blue eyes shimmered with surprise for a moment, but then easily hardened. It bothered Poland that his friend displayed so much hate, hate that was directed at him. It should've bothered Feliks that harsh memories of the duos past came crashing through his mind, but he was already going full force.
"I do not need your approval of my happiness, Poland," Toris whispered sharply.
"No! You don't need my approval, but you should at least try it! It's depressing enough to have my friend locked away with some maniac, but it's like ten times worse when my friend comes home without an inch of joy!"
Lithuania scoffed, shaking his head agitatedly.
"What would you know about my feelings, Poland? Why do you think that just because some lousy years have—"
"No!" Poland interjected, getting up from his chair, "I do fricken know! We were married for years, Liet, I know how you think!"
"Oh yeah? Then please, go ahead and tell me. What are my feelings, Feliks?" Lithuania demanded sarcastically.
"You care too much about others. You get so… so obsessed with helping and caring for your 'brothers' that you lose sight of everything else. You try so hard that you hurt yourself and the others around you!" Poland shouted, ignoring the blur in eyes from the presence of tears.
Lithuania was fervently shaking his head, his expression soured as if he just ate something bad.
"How can you say something so selfish? So what if I care about others? It is called love, Feliks, it is a caring feeling that comes to me naturally! I care for others! I love others! Am I not supposed to feel that for others? Or are you just wanting it all to yourself!"
Heat flushed Feliks's face in embarrassment to such an accusation. How c-could he…! Poland pushed himself from the chair and paced about the room, like he was ranting to a child.
"I-I am not implying that! You hurt yourself because you watch over Estonia and Latvia so much. They aren't even your real brothers!"
Lithuania looked more taken aback than Poland had ever seen. His mouth was open wide, his thin eyebrows crinkled in confusion, and his eyes searching the bed sheets as if he couldn't stand to look at Feliks.
Poland's anger dimmed just a bit when he realized Lithuania was trying to get out of bed
"How dare you say that they aren't my brothers!" Toris whispered dangerously. He was already up, shaking a bit as he pulled his IV bag with him. Poland realized just how bandaged he was— his feet were bare except for the white cloth that slipped over them, his fingers, his chest, and parts of his arms. Feliks stopped pacing, wanting to shush him and set him down, but Toris was intent on proving his point.
"You… You say that they aren't my brothers, but they have been through hell and back with me and they fricken got me out. They've helped me more than you could ever do, Poland!"
The feeling of worry washed off Feliks's face, and he ran up to the wobbly Toris with a full intention of setting things right. It would've been an amusing sight— Poland angrily bickering with his wounded counterpart who was at least half a head taller than him, dressed in hospital garb— if it weren't for the dreaded seriousness that weighed the air down around them.
"I have been with you since the first centuries. I have been with you for centuries, Lithuania," Feliks reminded in a low tone, "What have your 'brothers' done for you? Cry with you while you get captured? You were hostages, not lovers! I knew you, Toris! I knew you for you! And I know a different side of you that they don't see! They use you for support, and it hurts you! And it hurts for me to see you like this."
"How dare you say they use me! They do not use me! I give my life for them, they are my family— I love them. I-I wish I could say the same for you!"
Poland felt his heart twist a bit. A glimpse of his memories with Toris flashed into Feliks's vision— back in the commonwealth days. Back when things were trivial and didn't affect their feelings as much. When Feliks actually cared about something, instead of blowing it off like he did for most other things or people. The first time he had longed for someone to stay by his side and expose him to his true feelings.
What happened?
"What? Don't tell me that— that after those years of marriage… you don't feel anything?" he whispered. His voice was taunt with apprehension.
"I moved on Poland. I've moved on," Toris quickly repeated, "Especially after you took my heart."
The image of happiness quickly dissipated like smoke.
Poland's gut wrung. He knew Lithuania would mention this. He knew it was bound to come up in conversation. With all their rushed and careful conversations on the phone, neither of the countries wanted to bring up such… bad memories. Poland didn't want to atone to that…
"Don't even think about bringing that up. You have no right to speak to me like that," Feliks defended.
"So what? Maybe we put up a façade over the phone, but now I can speak my mind! I'm independent, I'm free— I have a right to speak my mind," Toris declared, "Are you just going to censor me too?"
What?!
"I would not— I am not censoring you! What are you saying?!"
"Yes you are, Poland. You only want me to say what you want me to say. You are trying to cover everything I am saying with your half assed excuses. I have been meaning to speak these words for years. Maybe you do care that I got out of Russia's control, but you are no better than Russia when you want me back in your control! Like you always did!"
Toris coughed harshly, his voice cracking with emotion. Usually, Feliks would have cared, but…
He is hurting my honor!
"How can you say that?! I would never—" he tried to defend.
"You already did that, Feliks! Not even a hundred years ago, jūs idotas! I had just been freed from Russia. Do you know how hard that was for me?"
"Aw, don't talk about pain to me, Lithuania. I know pain way more than you!" Feliks scoffed.
"It is not a contest, Poland! I'm saying what you did hurt me! I was free! I could finally speak my mind! For years I had been shut up by Russia! I felt so empty inside, but who was there for me? Estonia and Latvia! Where were you, Lenkija? Oh that's right! You were there, back to take me under your wing like I was just another servant!" The Baltic snarled. He tried suppressing another jarring cough, but it was blatant to Poland.
"I didn't treat you like a servant!"
"Yes you did! All of you power hungry nations do. It's not a marriage… It's just a one-sided… game. It's a one-sided, controlling relationship," Toris shook his head, not meeting Feliks's eyes, "I didn't want that. I was finally free and free to do what my people asked of me. I didn't want anyone making decisions for me— or my people! Do you know how that feels?"
Poland squeezed his eyes shut, biting back anger that was almost released on his injured friend. Memories of being partitioned swirled through his mind like a deadly storm. He so wanted to lash out, but instead decided on a steely reply;
"You have no right to say that to me."
"Poland! If you just thought that taking my center, my heart would not hurt, then you are dead wrong. It did!"
Soon the biting memories swarmed his vision and left him with an anger that had been bottled up within him. Austria. Russia. Prussia. The constant moving and cursing and demanding….
Just thinking about it made Poland's head spin.
Feliks placed his hands on Toris's shoulders. The taller nation gave a little jolt when Poland touched him, but he quickly ignored it to get his point across.
"How dare you say I didn't know how you felt! Do you know how I felt? Where were you when I was ripped to shreds by all the European powers!. West, East, South! It didn't matter where they were from! They didn't care— I was just torn apart… Partitioned off to everyone. Not once, twice, but three times! It hurt; I had to see all my Jews slaughtered in front of me by Germany. Do you know how that felt?"
"Yes! I did! I lost my citizens to anti-Semitic radicals too! Alright? I know how you feel! And it is not a contest of pain! Poland!"
"Ha, you are the one who is making a contest out of this, Lithuania," he sharply retorted.
"No, I'm not! I am trying to prove a point that I want to be myself and that I don't want help, and I want to have my people free. Ok? I want my brothers to be free— they have been under the wing of scary dictators for such a long time!"
It was Feliks's turn to shake his head.
"Do you know why I put you under my wing, Toris? Because you are not strong enough to fend by yourself!" he exclaimed darkly.
"HOW can you say that?!" Lithuania yelled, with his voice wavering a bit, "I helped you out so many times when we were younger! I am strong— my people are strong! Even though we are small, and smothered by many countries— we are still a very strong country in heart!"
Poland shook his head again and let go of Lithuania's shoulders, pushing him back a bit before turning away. Strong? We aren't strong. We are on the side for the bigger nations to pick at.
He chuckled without humor.
"Haha… Then why are you so easily captured? Why are you so easily pulled into foreign affairs as if you want it!"
Poland wanted to care that Lithuania's eyes looked betrayed and glossy. He wanted to help Lithuania through this immensely tough time, and he wanted to comfort his friend. But the hate was too thick… Too strong to quit now.
"Because you didn't give me time to support myself! I had no time to regroup! I just out of that prison… that hellhole, Poland! Back then it was harsher! Laws were looser— serfdom was still alive and running! Now there are laws preventing that— these years have been better, there have been less slaughters! And luckily I've gotten my independence without me dying, or my people dying!"
Poland stayed silent, staring at window. The room didn't seem as colorful and crisp as before.
"I-Is that why you are here, Poland? To recapture m-me?!" Lithuania murmured softly.
Feliks turned before Toris could say anything more accusing.
"No! No! I would never do that—!" he faltered hastily.
"Taip, but you did! You did Poland!" the Baltic's voice died out, "You did…."
How can I make it clear to him that I was trying to protect him! I truly didn't have the malicious intentions he implied…
"I was doing what was right, Lithuania!" Poland countered, throwing his hands out for emphasis.
It was then that Toris leaned heavily to the side and hacked up a storm. He looked like he was in immense pain, and by the way his eyes died of light and his face paled, Feliks knew something was extremely wrong.
"H-Hey now! Liet!" Poland shouted worriedly, not sure whether or not he should do something, "Are you ok—?"
Lithuania groaned and started sliding to his knees. Startled, Feliks reached out to catch him. With nowhere else to go, the nation fell into Poland like a doll. He is so light!
"I-I'm fine," Toris winced out, trying to push against Feliks to get upright, "I j-just haven't recovered…. Yet…"
Lithuania slumped again into Poland's trembling arms.
"L-Lithuania!" he shouted frantically, with no response, "Czy boli?!"
The nation was silent besides a few, weak muffles of pain escaping his friend's lips.
Poland tried to support him, distressed that he had been arguing with him no longer than a minute ago. Feliks whipped his head around, trying to see if any nurse or doctor was present.
"Hey! Someone help!" he cried desperately, "Proszę!"
Historical Note
Red Poppies: Poland's national flower. Very pretty :)
Common wealth: Poland and Lithuania were married at a the beginning of the centuries. Hetalia actually goes over this, which is why I like the duo so much. They have a unique chemistry.
Heart= Vilnius. In the Polish-Lithuanian war (towards the end of WW1), Poland managed to capture Vilnius, which is Lithuania's capital. It was very jarring for the nation and its people, and there are still a lot of uneasy feelings still felt today. There is a lot of tensions between Poland and Lithuania still going on.
Partitioning: Poland was partitioned by Russia, Austria, and Prussia three times. 1772, 1793, 1795. THIS was a huge event for Poland. Not a good event in any way shape or form though
Jews: Lots of Jewish people lived in Poland and the Baltics, but more so in Poland. By WW2, you can imagine what happened….
Translations:
Idiota: Idiot (Polish)
Taip: Yes
Czy boli: Are you hurt?
Proszę: Please
jūs idotas= you idiot! (Lithuanian)
Lenkija= Poland (Lithuanian)
Author's note:
Hey guys. Sorry for the wait again. Hectic, hectic weeks of torture ;_; I will still update I promise.
Soundtrack: Home (Edward Sharpe); Innocence (Vienna Teng)- this song, guys go check it out. It's great, and there is an amazing Historical Hetalia that goes with it centered around Poland and Lithuania. Made me cry.
Yes, Poland got his first chapter. Sorry if everyone sounded like an asshole. I need them to fight, because it is what it still going on. I've seen Polish and Lithuanian fighting in comment sections of Youtube, and it's quite sad that so many people dislike each other. On the other hand, a lot of people only wish for peace between the two nations. I, for one, would love if tensions ceased, but that's not up to me.
GUYS. I received so much amazing feed back, please keep it coming! It totally inspires me to write. Thanks.
*This is the THIRD TIME Fanfiction has turned my chapter to unreadable script. It is very very frustrating to me, and probably just as frustrating to you. Sorry guys. *