Disclaimer: I only own Cassidy, Caitlynn, Hannah, and any other OC's that may pop up in the future. Basically, you recognize, I do not own. Thanks once again to my friend Aaron for RP'ing most of this chapter with me.

Chapter 20

"John, what's the matter?" Cassidy asked breathlessly, when he pulled back from her.

"Cass" John said, sighing heavily "we have to clear the air about some things before we can go on."

Nodding her head in agreement, Cassidy sat up on the couch and said. "Alright, let's just get everything out in the open then." This was what she had been dreading, since seeing John again.

"Want to start?" John asked, wanting to ease into the conversation.

"No, I think you should probably go first." Cassidy mumbled, fiddling with the end of her shirt sleeve.

"Well" John said, not wanting to look at her "even though you're not still doing it, I have a problem that you were a stripper Cass."

Letting out a soft sigh, Cass wouldn't meet his eyes. "I know you do John. If I could take back having to do that, I would. I just didn't know how else I was going to be able to keep a roof over our heads, without getting a job like that." She said, trying to fight back the tears. The more she talked about this, the harder it was to not tell him everything.

"You could have come to me" John said softly "hell Randy would have helped you too."

"I know that now, but then it was a matter of not wanting to hear how I had made such a huge mistake in not ever telling you. I had beaten myself up everyday for it for 4 years." Cassidy said wiping the tears from her eyes, while still hiding her gaze from John. If he could see the pain and hurt in her eyes, he'd know there was something she wasn't telling him. He had always been able to read through her emotions better than anyone. She knew he would go ballistic if he found out.

"Why won't you look at me?" John asked. "It's not like I'm a rat." he joked, bringing up one of her worst fears.

Laughing slightly, Cassidy forced herself to bring her gaze up to meet his. John could see the unshed tears in her crystal blue orbs, and he also saw something else hiding behind them. "Is the fact I was a stripper always going to be a problem with you?" She asked, it had come out a bit harsh than she had intended, but she did want to know where this would end up going.

"It's hard Cass." John told her, getting up from the couch and pacing "Its hard seeing someone you love taking their clothes off and letting dirty old men ogle them just so they can pay the bills."

"John, I'm sorry. There is not a night that goes by where I'm not haunted by that fact. There is not a night that goes by where I can close my eyes, and not see their leering smiles, and not feel their hands on me. Believe me, if I could have found another way, besides asking for help from Randy or you I would have. It wasn't my idea to leave from there at night, and get attacked in the fucking parking lot." Cassidy yelled through her tears, the pain from everything breaking through her soul then.

"Attacked?" John breathed out, as if the word was venom coming from his lips. "What? Cass." He vaulted across the room and sat beside her, taking her hand in his.

"It's not like it's a big deal John. That kind of thing is expected to happen to girls who take their clothes off for money, at least that's what I'm told." Cassidy replied letting go of John's hand, before standing up and pacing the room herself.

"Expected?" John roared, standing up with fire in his eyes "Cass I've been to many of those clubs in my lifetime, and I have NEVER once wanted to attack one of the girls. NEVER! Expected? No. Not expected, who was it? I want to know."

"It doesn't matter, just some drunk guy who felt that I 'owed it' to him. I just want to forget that time of my life. I want to just focus on us, and being a family finally." Cassidy said, turning her back to him and looking out the window. John knew how she got with her emotions, and wasn't going to let her put her walls back up around herself.

"What'd he do Cass?" John asked, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist.

"John please, I just want to let it go. I want to be with you, and try and make up for ever leaving you." She said, her tears still falling from her eyes, as she tried to deal with the pain and anguish of everything.

"Cass" John said gently "I don't want this to come between us. I don't want to start getting intimate with you, and have you flashback to that time."

"Fine John, you want to know what he did to me?" She asked, before pushing his arms from her waist and turning around to yell. "He dragged me across the parking lot to his car, and threw me in the backseat. To him I was nothing more than a cheap whore, and for 2 hours he raped me. I got what I deserved John, I worked at that club, and those guys got what they wanted." Cassidy yelled, before collapsing to the floor in almost convulsive sobs.

"Cass." John said, sitting beside her and wrapping her up in his arms "You didn't deserve that, you didn't ask for that asshole to rape you."

"I chose to work there John. How can you say I didn't deserve it?" She yelled, fighting against John's arms around her.

"Because" John said, struggling to keep Cassie in his arms "taking your clothes off may have been in the job description, but letting a drunken bastard have his way with you wasn't."

"I'm sorry John. I'm so sorry." Cassie kept saying as she finally stopped struggling against John, and felt him rock them back and forth.

"Cassie you have nothing to be sorry for." John said sighing "You did what you thought was right and even if I don't agree with it, it doesn't change the fact that I..."

"If I hadn't run away when I found out I was pregnant, then this never would have happened. If I could have just trusted my feelings, then I would have known you wouldn't have hurt me. I brought it on myself John; it's time for me to finally own up to the mistakes I've made." Cassidy said, not having noticed what John almost let slip.

"Cass move on." John said a bit harshly "If you keep living in the past on what if's, then we'll never have a future."

"I want to more than anything. I'm just not sure if I know how to." Cassidy said looking up at him with tear filled eyes.

"Cass do you trust me?" John asked suddenly.

"Yes." She answered, with more certainty than she's had in awhile.

"Good" John said "then let me into your heart. Let me love you like I can and let me be there for you, and let's move on; you, me, and Caitlynn. One big happy family." Taking the advice of the song he requested for her earlier, Cassie did just that. Listening to her heart, she knew that John would never hurt her, and regardless of what had happened in their past, things would only look brighter in their future together with their daughter. Looking up, and into his eyes Cassie saw everything in them.

Wiping the tears from her own eyes, she nodded her head, before replying. "I want us all to be together too John, just like it should be." She told him, placing her lips to his in a soft but passionate kiss.

xoxoxoxo

The next morning, John was awakened to someone knocking on his front door. Looking down, he saw that Cassidy was still asleep against his chest, and her arm draped lazily across his stomach. Moving slightly out of her grasp, not wanting to wake her, John got up from the couch, and went over to the door, before they woke up Cassidy.

"Hey Mom." John said, opening the door to reveal his mother and Caitlynn. "There's my princess. Were you a good girl for Grandma and Pops?" He asked, picking her up in his arms.

"Uh huh. Uncle Sean gots in troule tho." Caitlynn answered seriously, as John tried to keep from laughing.

"What did Uncle Sean do?" He asked, looking from Caitlynn to his mom.

"He say bad word. 'Den he threw sometin at Uncle Matt." Caitlynn told him, nodding her head in emphasis. Looking over at Carol, John asked for more of an explanation.

"Sean got mad because Matt apparently beat him on the wrestling game, and he said some words to him, and threw the controller at him." Carol explained chuckling a little bit, before becoming serious. "Have you seen Cassidy since yesterday? I've tried calling her since early this morning, and haven't been able to get a hold of her, and we drove by the apartment, and her car wasn't there." Carol said, worried something may have happened to her.

"She's fine mom. We talked last night, and she stayed the night here. We decided to get back together, but she and Cait will continue to live in the apartment for awhile, so we're not rushing things." John said quietly, knowing that Cass had tossed and turned during the night, so she hadn't got a lot of sleep.

"That's great, I'm really happy for you both sweetheart. I'm guessing Cassidy is still sleeping then?" Carol asked, not seeing Cassidy anywhere.

"Yeah, we were kind of up late talking." John said, ignoring the knowing smirk from Carol. "Mom, really all we did was talk most of the night." John told her, knowing it would be useless really to try and argue with her.

"Okay sweetie. Well now that I know Cassidy is okay, I'll leave you 3 alone. Cait, you can come and stay with me and Grandpa anytime you want, okay." Carol said rubbing Caitlynn's back.

"'Kay Gramma." Caitlynn answered leaning out of John's arms, to give Carol a hug and kiss. After she said good bye to John, Carol left and headed back home, while John and Caitlynn made breakfast for Cassidy.