And It All Seemed Harmless: Chapter 21
TW: slight very slight mention of past non-con, but please read carefully for your safety. Next chapter is Shepard and beginning of the mistake! (I mistakenly wrote that on the last chapter now it's really happening)
Blackness, to a woman like Jack, is a comforting place. It was an escape on Pragia. A short reprieve from the real horrors taking place before her eyes. Jack hated color. Color was dangerous; it was blood. It was blood on blankets, and children, and the only grass growing in between the metal slabs on the floor. Blackness was safe. A safe place where no one could touch her, because no one can could disappear to the same blackness as another.
Or at least she thought.
Jack is startled from her peace by a strange feeling, a pressure on her arm as if someone is touching her. She thrashes against it, thrashes and then suddenly: her eyes are open.
"Jack!"
"Miranda?"
"Thank the goddess, she's alive."
The convict is a bit shocked when her blurry vision focuses to an image of Miranda Lawson, kneeling beside her, the operative's hand placed comfortingly on the tattooed woman's arm. Miranda's eyes are still brimmed with tears, but a small smile appears on her face at the sight of the mother woman's consciousness.
"What the fuck happened?"
Miranda opens her mouth as if trying to respond, but the operative is choked up from the emotional response to seeing that Jack was, in fact, alive. She makes a faint sound trying to speak, and Liara walks into Jack's vision from the other side of the cage, leaping into the conversation to allow her to take a moment to compose herself and save face.
"You attacked Doctor Archer's associate. There...were too many guards. They fired on you almost instantly when you dispatched him. You dodged most of the shots that likely would have killed you, but a concussive shot rendered you unconscious. Ms. Lawson and I had weapons to our temples so we weren't much help…" Liara trails off, the guilt in her voice evident. Jack tries to scowl a little less at her to make her more comfortable. She understood. It would have been suicide for either of them to try to join the fray.
"We… didn't see how many bullets hit your body… if any. We thought you were dead." Jack glances towards Miranda as Liara admits this, only to see the woman is intentionally trying not to meet her eyes. Miranda's chest is moving rapidly though, her breaths quick and uneven. She does not release her hold on Jack's arm.
"When they seized you, they placed you in this cell with us. When we had you, we were able to determine you had been burned by a few rounds. But for the most part, you would likely recover."
Jack moves to sit up, curious to inspect her body to see what sort of damage she had sustained. She would need to fight through her injuries, they weren't safe yet and she couldn't just lie steady while the others tried to plan their escape.
As she sits, her abs contracting, a sharp pain travels up her spine. Her ribs feel as if she had been beaten repeatedly, and Jack grimaces as she realizes she had likely broken a few when she took the beating. She pauses in her motion to sit up, Miranda's grip tightening on her wrist. Miranda says nothing, but looks into Jack's eyes with an expression of pure concern. It makes Jack uncomfortable. She had not known the operative to be at a loss for words, or to look at her like that. Taking a solid breath, Jack pushes herself to sit up fully. She violently jerks her wrist out of Miranda's grip, suddenly uncomfortable with the intimacy of the look the other woman was giving her. She glares at the operative once free, an animalistic scowl she had perfected to keep people at a distance, yet Miranda seems unaffected.
"According to the little radio chatter we were able to overhear as they left, I believe that particular squad is going to join the officer that had been sent away to inform Archer of the situation and Ms. Lawson's identity. Ms. Lawson's identity will buy us a little time while they debate away whether or not they should kill us, but not much...They could decide any second to come in and kill you and I since Henry Lawson would not be interested in us. Or, they could decide any second to kill us all." Liara says a bit flatly, her tone betraying she was not hopeful in their chances of escape. She didn't mention Shepard or the new information that the soldier was in their captivity, but Jack can tell by her rigid body, that the broker is definitely thinking about it.
"Shep is fine. You fucking know that right? That damn Spectre has better chances than the three of us put together." Jack says a bit harshly, and she silently scolds herself for saying something she meant to be assuring in such a rude tone. Liara's eyes widen a bit, obviously taken off guard by Jack's bluntness.
Jack sighs, and smooths a hand over the top of her head nervously. "I...I just mean they're not going to kill her. They need her. They don't need us. I know you fucking care about her… or whatever, so you're worried...but just...fucking don't. We need to focus."
Liara nods, a small thankful smile crossing her features. Though it wasn't perfect, it was as close to a reassurance as Jack could give and she appreciated the effort.
Jack scans the room. The metal walls are scorched from bullets that never connected and small streaks of blood dot the floor. Beside the cage, the body of the man Jack killed is still contorted on the floor. His lab coat is soaked in his own blood, and shards of Jack's broken omni-tool are sticking out of his body and littering the metal floor around him. The moment Jack sees him, hate begins to boil in her body again as she remembers what he said to Miranda. How he fucking touched her. Fighting against her own instinct to respond with more murderous rage, Jack forces herself to breathe. There was no one in the room to direct the rage towards, and Miranda didn't seem all right. The convict did not in any way consider herself a comforting person, but she knew what it felt like to be an abused experiment forced to do things you never wanted to do. She should say something.
Before she can turn her attention to the kneeling woman beside her, Miranda snaps back to life suddenly, and starts swatting Jack repeatedly.
"WHY"
Swat
"IN"
Swat
"BLOODY HELL"
Swat
"DO YOU NOT HAVE ANY FUCKING MEDI-GEL ON YOU."
"What the fuck?"
"THEY STRIPPED ME AND LIARA OF OURS, THEY DIDN'T CHECK YOUR BODY. WE COULD HAVE USED IT ON YOU GODDAMMIT. ARE YOU TRYING TO GET KILLED JACK?! REALLY!"
"Miranda!" Liara interjects, leaning down and putting her arms around Miranda's midsection, bringing her away from the biotic and to her feet. "Goddess, do you really think its wise to attack her right now? She just woke up!"
Jack chuckles, her trademark glare back in place as she watches the red-faced, flailing biotic be dragged away and restrained by the small framed scientist.
"Easy T'Soni, she wasn't hurting me. Cheerleader doesn't pack a punch. And for your fucking information ice queen, my speciality is surviving. I only gave my medi-gel away because I needed the fucking bartender in Eternity conscious so I could find out where the fuck you two went. Excuse the shit out of me for trying to help."
"So that's how you found us…" Liara muses, realization dawning on her features.
"Why did you even go looking for us, Jack?" Miranda retorts, shaking Liara off of her. Her nostrils are flaring, each small step towards Jack a dangerous one. "The last time I saw you, you accused me of using you! Of manipulating you! Of trying to get inside your pants just to burn stress! How dare you insinuate I would do anything of the sort!" Miranda is seething now, her emotions unhinged from the exchange with the man and believing she had seen Jack die in front of her in back to back moments.
"Getting in your pants is the last thing I want to do in this galaxy, you Convict. Don't flatter yourself! You said I tried to trick you when I said I knew what it was like to be an experiment, well do you believe me now Jack?! Did you have to come and get yourself captured with us and make the entire situation a thousand times more precarious with your hot head just to find some proof for yourself that I was telling the truth?!"
"You're being fucking crazy. How was I supposed to know I'd find a character from your bullshit tragic backstory here? I just came to save your fucking life!" Jack crosses her arms, standing steady as if to warn the advancing operative she would not be moved. Or threatened.
Jack knows Miranda is being irrational because of her toxic emotional state, but it infuriates her anyway. She has never seen Miranda this angry, even when they nearly warped each other into the bulkhead it had been Jack screaming, not the operative. Liara seems to be thinking along the same lines, concern etched across her face as she backs away from Miranda.
"...Miranda maybe you should…" Liara attempts to interject, but her fragile voice is immediately drowned out by another outburst from the operative.
"Don't toy with me! Why are you here Jack? You don't care about anyone enough to risk your miserable life and Dr. T'Soni and I are two people on which you've made your feelings quite clear! Did Shepard make you? Or are you here to sabotage Shepard rescuing us? That's what you want isn't it, a Normandy where your bitch of an XO isn't there to keep your violent outbursts in check!"
Jack growls, leaping to her feet despite her injuries so she can square up against the raging operative. Jack was an animal, and Miranda had poked through the cage far too much than she would allow, even in Miranda's compromised state.
"I just fucking SAID I was the one who found out where you are! Shep had no fucking clue you were gone until I contacted her. Do you really think I'm a heartless test tube and Cerberus love child that came all the way here just to fucking made sure you never got out of here? Do you want to know why I fucking came Cheerleader?"
"That's enough!" Liara finally springs into action, placing herself between the two women. She places one hand on each of them, effectively spacing them from each other. "Miranda, don't you think you're being sufficiently unreasonable? Jack defended you from Dr. Archer's associate. It may not have been the best move tactically, but I don't think you have a case that the move in itself was inherently wrong or made to harm our situation. Regardless, we will all be as deceased as he is if we keep fighting and waste precious time we need to be using formulating an escape plan!"
The only noise for a moment is Miranda and Jack's breath, each of them huffing in rage as they kept their eyes locked on one other. Miranda is the first to pull away, taking a step back from Liara's reach, never glancing away from Jack's predatory look.
"Fine. I don't expect the Convict to be civil, but I am more than capable of doing so for my own survival."
Jack doesn't respond. No angry retort or lunge at the operative comes. Instead, Jack waits a moment, then speaks softly, her voice betraying a bit of hurt that the other woman did not expect to be revealed.
"I'll tell you. I'll tell you why the fuck I decided to come and get my ribs fucking broken Cheerleader. I believed you."
Miranda looks back at Jack quizzically. The anger does not leave her eyes, but confusion is edging out the emotion. "What?"
"In your quarters. When you said that you knew what it was like to be an experiment. When you said you wished you had blown Pragia to hell. I...fuck. I don't know. I heard something in your voice, something I've only heard in mine. When you didn't return to the Normandy, I went to, you know, just fucking talk to you about that shit. To tell you that I didn't mean it when I said I didn't believe you. I was just pissed off. I have a bad habit of saying shit I don't mean when I'm pissed okay?"
Whatever Miranda could have possibly expected, this is not it. As Jack speaks, the operative's expression softens, but her eyes stay slightly wide in surprise. Jack, however, looks away from Miranda's locked gaze to focus on the floor, a part of her wishing the metal would cave in and swallow her up to keep this embarrassing admission from continuing.
"I tracked you to the bar, and there was fucking blood everywhere. I didn't know what happened, but I knew your big bubbly butt needed help. ASAP. The bar bitch told me T'Soni was involved and I knew Shepard would also blow a gasket without her blue tits somewhere in the galaxy." Liara frowns at the vulgar comment, but doesn't chastise Jack. The scientist is adapting a bit to Jack's way of speaking, and learning which vulgar comments are actually attempts at kindness.
"I just came down here to make sure you both didn't fucking die. I didn't mean to lose my fucking head and get myself caged with you two. But honestly, can you fucking blame me Miranda?" Rage begins to seep back into the small biotic's voice. "He had no fucking right to touch you. Or to say any of what he said. He's probably lying about his fucking father, just trying to get under your skin because he's butthurt you ended up a reaver…"
Miranda's face goes stony, and she too looks at the floor, her voice trembling as she says the simple words, "He wasn't lying Jack."
The words somehow pierce Jack, a flood of emotions crossing her mind as she processes the information. The most prevalent is a need to find and murder Henry Lawson, but she knows it isn't her place to be the one to kill him. As much as she may want to. Liara glances between the two women, her face betraying her clear discomfort being in between them during this very personal exchange.
"I….I'm going to evaluate this cage for structural weaknesses. I...doubt there is anything to be done until another guard returns and de-activates the field...perhaps you should take this time to rest your injuries Jack. And Miranda, maybe you should….help her with that?" Liara suggests awkwardly, her eyes darting between them in nervous fashion before she steps out from between them and goes to the front of the cage to examine the electric lock.
Miranda and Jack don't move for a moment, then Miranda finally motions towards the back of the cage, where the injured biotic could lean against the single metal wall that wasn't made up of bars and an electric field. Jack takes her cue, and steps over to where the operative directed her to go, lowering herself with a grimace on her face to rest on the floor, her back solid against the metal. Miranda leans down next to her, a concerned expression crossing her face as she watches Jack's contort into one of pain.
"It's….a good thing you don't wear much. Very easy to identify injury."
"Is that a joke, Cheerleader?"
"Hardly." Miranda cracks a small smile, relieved their banter had changed course from one that would have inevitably ended with one of them attempting to kill the other.
"Is it alright if I touch you Jack?"
Jack nods, and Miranda places her hands on the biotic's ribs, running her fingers along them to search for additional breaks. Where her hands touch, Jack suddenly feels warm, her body reacting to the other woman's gentle touch. It sends a pulse of heat to Jack's center, and the biotic forces herself to ignore it. This was the worst possible moment to be turned on by the Cheerleader's touch.
"I...I didn't mean to say I didn't believe him...about your father. I believe you...fuck. I just...I think...I'm fucking this up aren't I?"
Miranda looks up from her examination to give Jack a small, worn smile.
"You're doing fine, Convict." This time, when Miranda says the word convict, there isn't hate dripping from the syllables. Her tone is gentle, understanding. Jack takes a deep breath, suddenly nervous. She had no idea what to say. She certainly knew what Miranda was going through, but if the past few years of her life were evidence of anything, it was that she didn't know how to deal with what she had been forced to do. She couldn't possibly help Miranda overcome that if she hadn't been able to in years of bed-hopping, drugs, and violence.
"That's really fucked up you know."
"I'm aware Jack."
Jack wants to kick herself, she sounds so incredibly lame, she can't imagine Miranda is getting any sort of consolation out of what she has to say. And yet, she finds herself unable to give up trying to console her.
"I…..I've been forced to do a lot, a fucking lot of shit I didn't want to do when I was someone's fucked up experiment. I...guess I know how it feels. It's not your fault though. That's what that stupid Normandy shrink with the nice rack tried to tell me about my shit. I didn't believe her at first….I don't think it's easy to believe when its your past. You know, your memories, your actions. But from the outside looking in, from someone who's not a shrink with an even better rack, it's not your fault."
The little speech is crass, and Jack worries she probably only offended Miranda. Looking to her nervously for her reaction, Jack waits holding her breath for the other woman to say something. Miranda says nothing for a moment and then nods, her eyes welling up with tears.
"Thank you Jack."