Chapter 21. Aftermath

Kali heard them come in the front door and broke of mid-sentence, to exclaim, "Thank the Creators! They're home." She was about to stand up when they entered the room. She saw Alistair's expression and froze, going from relieved to worried in the blink of an eye.

When Renna saw the three of them her heart dropped like a stone. They looked like they've come from the edge of the Void. She knew it was time for her to leave, and give the family some privacy. She gave Kali a hug, and whispered to her, "Send for me if you need anything."

Kali whispered back shakily, "Ma serannas, my friend."

Renna smiled and quickly bade everyone a good night.

Kali stood up, apprehension gripping her heart and coloring her tone. She asked timidly, "How…how did it go?"

The worry in Kali's voice acted like catalyst and suddenly the implications of the meeting completely overwhelmed Alistair, He felt paralyzed, as if he was rooted to the floor, unable to find the right words.

Kali's apprehension gave way to fear; her voice sounded strained. "Alistair?"

Alistair managed to shake off the paralysis, going to Kali and gathering her in his arms. "I'm so sorry, emma vhenan, there's just so much to tell; I can't begin to put it into words."

Tears welled up in Kali's eyes as she jumped to the worst possible conclusion: she was going to lose Alistair and with him would go her whole world. She began to shake and sob.

Alistair realized that he had managed to terrify his wife; he held her tightly and whispered into her hair, "Shh, emma lath. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to frighten you. I'm fine. Everything's going to be all right."

Listing to Kali's tears left Val feeling utterly miserable and completely devoid of hope. She knew precisely what scared Kali because it scared her too: losing those they held dear. There was no way Val could look at Kali and say that everything was going to be all right. Val felt that if she stayed in the room a moment longer, she wouldn't be able to hide her own terror and that wouldn't help anyone. She whispered a good night to everyone, and headed upstairs.

Maric watched Val go. Alistair and Kali were seated; he was rocking Kali, as she whispered, her voice tremulous, "Does it…will it…mean that you have will go to Thedas?"

Alistair turned Kali to face him. "Nothing has been decided. Tonight we only heard the lay of the land."

Kali looked so sad, it was tearing at Maric's heart. He understood, more than ever, why Val didn't want to involve anyone else. Val knew that losing Alistair would destroy Kali, because it would do the same to Val if she lost me. And I would feel the same if I lost Val, not to mention losing my other son.

He looked at Alistair questioningly to see if he wanted him to stay or go.

Kali had buried her head into Alistair's shoulder; he looked at his father and mouthed, "It's okay."

Maric nodded and put all the love, sympathy and support he could put into his voice. "Good night, Kali. Good night, Son."

Alistair was lifted by Maric's tone of voice and gave him a small smile. "Good night, Father."

~oOOo~

While Renna was visiting with Kali, Cullen was at home writing in his journal. He paused for a moment and looked at the desk; a grin spread across his face. The desk had been a recent acquisition, one that Cullen had resisted, because, as he petulantly told Renna, 'As Knight-Commander I spent too bloody much time sitting behind one.' Renna was undaunted by her husband's pouting resistance. She pointed out that they still wrote letters, they both kept journals, and there were other things that required having a desk rather than sitting in a chair and balancing parchment on one's lap.

With a smile and a blush Cullen was lost in the memory from three days earlier

They were walking to the Dancing Maiden to have lunch. They were almost there when Renna grabbed his arm and turned down a different street.

"Renna, what the-"

"Just hush, it's a surprise."

Cullen pitched his voice low. "I didn't know you harbored fantasies about letting me ravish you in public?"

Renna stopped, her eyes wide. She blushed like a virgin on her wedding night, she stammered. "I...I… well…I…that's not the surprise!"

Cullen raised his eyebrows, "Oh, I learn something new about your every day, love."

Renna, still blushing, arched an eyebrow and smiled.

They came to a stop in front of the carpenter's shop. Cullen looked at his wife; he was completely bewildered.

Renna still held his arm. She smiled mischievously as she opened the door and brought him inside. They walked out fifteen minutes later; Cullen was as red as a beetroot, Renna looked a bit smug, and the desk was to be delivered by sunset.

Cullen's mind came back to the present shaking his head, smiling. What could I do, she made me an offer I couldn't refuse.

His reverie ended as Renna walked in the door. Cullen could tell, without seeing her, that she was upset; he felt it. He turned towards her; her expression alarmed him and fear curdled his stomach. Within the span of a couple of breaths, he was out of the chair pulling her into his arms. "What happened? Did something go wrong in the Fade?"

Renna held onto Cullen, and she shook her head but the fear and worry remained in her voice. "No, they returned, but the Creators as my witness, that meeting took the life out of them. Cullen, they honestly looked like they had been to the Void and back. Kali was just about to burst into tears."

Cullen shook his head and hugged Renna tighter. I wonder what Andraste told them. He and Renna needed to pay Merenwen a visit.

~oOOo~

Kali's sobbing subsided, and her breathing became more regular as she settled against Alistair's chest. Alistair stopped rocking her and began to stroke her back. Kali drew away from him, her voice still soft and unsure. "Tell me, Lethallin, what…happened at the meeting?"

Alistair leaned back on the couch bringing Kali with him. He sighed, "As we suspected, things are falling apart in Thedas. All of the magic being used during this conflict has significantly weakened the Veil. It must be repaired, and that will require the mages to work with Andraste and others on the other side of the Veil. It's dangerous work; the mages will be in grave danger of becoming abominations or being possessed, so templars will need to help the mages which-"

"She wants you to find a way to unite the templars and mages." Kali finished Alistair's thought. "Andraste believes that the three of you can help bring this about?"

Alistair nodded slowly. "She said that being the Hero of Ferelden wields a lot of influence."

"You don't seem convinced?"

Alistair scratched the back of his head. "Well, I've never traded on the Hero title. I never needed to or wanted to. I was what I wanted to be: the Warden Commander of Ferelden. Besides, I'm not sure I would know how to wield such influence?"

Kali, who still felt the icy tendrils of fear surround her heart, managed to gently admonish her husband. "You know very well that you know how to wield influence; you did it the entire time you were Warden Commander…it's called leadership, Lethallin."

Alistair gave that lopsided half-smile and looked at his wife. "Well, yes I was quite good at that, wasn't I?"

Kali offered him a small smile and leaned back against his chest. She gathered her strength and finally asked the question, of whose answer terrified her. "So…you'll be going back to Thedas?"

~oOOo~

Everyone had gone back through the Veil. Andraste sat at her table and began to drum her fingers as she thought about the meeting.

Well, that meeting was grueling. What did I expect, that they would jump up and volunteer? Andraste shook her head, and spoke out loud to the empty room, "Why would they? I want them to go back to Thedas and unite two groups that are Void-bent on destroying each other. I suppose I should be grateful that they didn't tell me to go roll my hoop right then and there."

She stood up and began to pace. "I don't know if Alistair will agree. He's Maric's son, would Maric tell him to stay behind? If I were his father, I would do exactly that. Maric will go if Hawke does. No matter how much she argues.

"I shouldn't have told Hawke that the Chantry believes she's at fault, especially as I know that will change. I knew that Hawke would volunteer anyway, because she believes very deeply she was the one responsible for all of this. She'll see it as her duty; I needn't have pushed."

Andraste's thoughts turned towards the Seeker. "Cassandra Pentaghast will know the truth before Hawke arrives in Thedas. I have watched the Nevarran Seeker; she is extremely devout, levelheaded, fair, and she always prays for guidance." Andraste smiled at that. "One of the advantages of being worshiped is that sometimes you can answer a prayer or two.

"Merenwen was quite right; Maric and Hawke have a connection that transcends mere love and affection. There is power in that kind of connection, one I know I can harness to bring about the changes needed in Thedas."

Andraste stopped and put her hand to her mouth. When did I become so conniving? Now I'm resorting to half-truths and manipulation? All was quite as Andraste thought back on what she had started. Creators, help me, I sound like the Dread Wolfe! She sunk to the floor and put her head in her hands.

~oOOo~

Val was looking out over the lake. Without moonlight, the lake looked as black as pitch. But tonight the moon was full, lighting up every ripple of water, making the lake sparkle like the night sky. Letting its beauty wash over her and through her, Val tried to quiet the storm of emotions that lashed her soul. She had felt so guilty for so long, she had become accustomed to it, and she realized that she was afraid to let go. If she wasn't hyper vigilant she feared she would make the same mistakes again. What was it Merenwen first said to me? Ah, she said that I 'have a true heart and should trust it more often.' Unbidden a realization came to her: Nothing, and no one, can take away this miraculous connection I have with Maric.

She didn't notice Maric until she saw his reflection in the window. Slowly turning, she mentally took her hands off the reins and let her love for him guide her thoughts and speech. "Before you say anything, I…I want to say that no matter what the future holds, even if the Fade divides us, I will never feel for another what I feel for you. I can no longer think of a 'me,' I can only think of an 'us.' I would go to the Void and back with you, Maric Theirin and I will remain at your side for as long as you'll have me."

Maric stood stock-still. She had just said all that he had been thinking and feeling. He remembered Alistair's question, and given all the tumult and pain of this evening, it would seem to be the least perfect time, but the more Maric thought about it, he realized it was most perfect time.

He closed the distance between them and took her hands in his. "You have brought light to my darkness, and breathed life into a heart long devoid of it. I cannot be in a world where there is no you, where this is no us. I want you by my side for the rest of time. Valentina Hawke, will you marry me?"

Val answered without thought, without hesitation. "Yes."

~oOOo~

AN: Thank you to Eastern Violet and Shakespira for your reviews. Special thanks to Shakespira, my wonderful beta, who was willing to listen to my whinging and give me much needed shot in the arm.