When Marik woke up covered in blood and alcohol, he knew Grandps had been right when he said he had a drinking problem. So much tequile coated him it was unbelievable. Rod Man didn't even know how he ended up in Malibu or where he got all of the beers, but here he was AS PER USUAL lost and confused and without his mindslave rose. "Rose..." Roddent called out with his hand outstretched but then he puked. God did not smile upon him on this day. Mwagh. "Rose... please... help..." He said again, for real this rod guy could not get up without some serious assisstance. Rod was desperate. The scent of vintage cardigans and fruit cakes wafted through the room and Rod Guy sighed a deep roddy sigh. "Hi grandpa" Rod said, he didn't even have to look up to know who it was. No one else had that disgusting old man smell. Even the folks back in good ol Rod City (Previously Domino City) could sense the wrinkles and they were hundreds of miles away. But yeah, Grampos here, and hes shaking his head. He totally saw Marik's alchohol problem coming. "You need help" he said wisely while knitting a cool new sweater that says "AA is the solution". Rod Man suddenly had a revelation. "I SHOULD GO TO ALCHOHOLICS ANONYMOUSE!" He shouted and rodded himself up. This was all his idea, there was no outside influence whatsoever.
Rod Guy used all of his rod strength left inside of him and ran to his Nice and Tight motorcycle. He pressed the turbo launcher button to really get the job done and he was on his way. "Hello Marik!" he heard the Grampo voice and he screamed. That Yugi's Grandpa ghost was following him on his ghost motorcycle right beside him. "I need to accompany you to Alcholohics Anonymous to make sure everyone is out of harm's way!" he said kindly and Rod Bod raised his rod in defense. He didn't know if he could really trust this man but for now it was all he could do. The last thing he wanted was to hurt his mindslave rose. Soon they were at the building with the Alcoholics Anonymous sign on the top and Marik rodded his way into the place. When he opened the door he saw an all too familiar face and widened in surprise. "Gregory Goodwin Pincus?" he gasped, he almost had to pull out his reading glasses from rod storage he couldn't believe his eyes. "Hello, Marik. It's nice to see you here. Why don't I save you a seat next to mine at the meeting? You are just in time, Rod Guy." Gregory smiled with all of the human kindness in the world, and Marik's rod felt things.
"Hello and welcome to Alcoholics Anonymous" The ringleader, who was Mariah Carey, said with a lil smile. She was so beautiful and our very own Rod Man was a huge fan. Marik shoved the complementary cookies into his mouth hole, as I'm sure you're all very aware of by now, Roddy has no table manners. Gregory Goodwin Pincus was getting a ton of second hand embarrassment. "Marik, don't." Gregory Goodwin Pincus said because wow, he could not get any ruder than he was in that moment. Marik ignored him and shoved ten chairs together so he could spread his legs out. A Rod Man just needs to chill sometimes ya know? That left no room for Steve Martin in the circle so he sat sadly on the ground.
"Alright well who would like to share with us today?" Ringleader Mariah Carey asked the group. Gregory Goodwin Pincus boldly stood up with a single tear sliding down his cheek. "Hi, my name is Gregory Goodwin Pincus. You have probably heard of me and used my finest invention." Rod Guy burst into the roddiest laughter at Gregory Goodwin Pincus's joke, that guy was just too good. "GO GREGORY!" he shouted and hollered. How embarrassing. But anyway, Gregory Goodwin Pincus kept on going. "I've been sober for about 5 months now. It's been a long road to recovery, but I've got my friends and family by my side to help me. Drinking has ruined me but I'm making do with what I have." Everyone in the Alcoholics Anonymous circle right then and there was crying at Gregory Goodwin Pincus's bravery. Courtney Love screamed to the heavens as the tears wouldn't stop making everyone incredibly uncomfortable. They all loved Greggy and looked up to him the way a child would to a parent. Praise him.
The circle then turned to the Rod Man to share his Story but Marik's mouth was filled to the brim with cookies. "HI GUYS, my name is Marik but you all can call me Rod Guy because thats what I'm known by mostly." Marik said, cookie spilling out of his mouth hole while he spoke. He was such a mess. "Hi Rod Guy" the group echoed, except for Steve Martin, who was sobbing uncontrollably. Steve just wanted it all to end, the addiction has completely ruined him in every way imaginable. "MMmgmgm, excellent! Mindslaves, its probably obvious but I have a drinking problem! I love that alchohol more than almost anything, except I love my Mindslave Rose even more than I love alchohol you know. He is everything to me. Have any of you ever had a Mindslave Rose?" Marik questioned. "I have" said Christopher Lloyd, nodding. "I'm happy to hear it! I'm scared, guys. I don't want my addiction to ruin the relationship I've got with my rose. Can you help me?" Roddy looked down at everyone with big sad (but muscular) eyes. "Of course, you just have to let us all into your hearts. Where're here to support you and remember... keep your Rose in mind..." Gregory Goodwin Pincus said, interrupting Mariah who was probably going to just say the same thing anyways.
"Gregory, thank you. Coming from you that truly means a lot. Hey you mindslaves, this is the guy that helped make my Mindslave Rose immune to my seed!" Marik said and the group erupted into applause. Once again Gregory Goodwin Pincus changes everything for the better. "Since this is your first time here Marik, what has been the toughest obstacle you have had to overcome on your long road to recovery?" Mariah Carey asked. "How do you know if he has had any yet? His journey hasn't even started yet." Jack Black pointed out in that rude Jack Black way of his. He and Mariah Carey had some history and he was not in the mood to take her bullshit anymore after she broke his heart. But this was not his story. "No, no Jack Black it's ok." The Rod spoke. "I think when it really started for me was the death of my dear friend, Joey Wheeler." Alcoholics Anonymous gasped. "The Head Chief of Smash Mouth?" Bill Murray gasped. "Yes, that's the one." Rod Job said and he felt tears rodding in his eyes. "His loss came as a huge blow to both me and my Rose. I think that may have been when my problem became prominent you know?" Gregory Goodwin Pincus put a hand on Marik's shoulder. "We are here for you, Marik." It was getting harder.
From up above in the sky, among all the birds chirping, Angle Joey was watching with a frown. The head chief of Smash Mouth missed his earthling friends. "Ugh, whatever." Jack Black said and slouched back in his chair like an asshole. Silly Jack Black doesnt even realize that could give him some super serious back problems. Marik knew but didnt inform him. "JACK BLACK!" A loud voice boomed and a door slammed open to reveal THE ONE... the ONLY... Aster Pheonix. "What have I told you about slouching?" Marik gasped! Seeing his new friend made him miss Joey a little less. Aster started tapping his foot on the ground "And Mariah Carey, PLEASE, we have been over this. That's my seat." Mariah Carey sheepishly stepped down from the throne and sat on the floor with Steve Martin. She had fooled not only Jack Black with her succubus lies but also the rest of the group. The true ring leader was Aster Pheonix. Marik smiled! Things would be so much easier now with a familiar face. "Sorry I'm late everyone but I had some business to attend to" Aster said. Everyone was quiet because they were expecting him to elaborate but he did not. "Hi Aster!" Marik greeted him finally and ate more cookies. Despite stupid idiot Steve Martin's annoying crying today was overall pretty nice! He was getting full though. Marik narrowed.
The feeling the cookies made him feel deep in his rod was almost greater than that of a mindslave kiss but not quite. "Does anyone else wish to share?" Aster Pheonix asked. Steve Martin screamed "LET ME DIE" and Aster rolled his stuff. "Can someone please remove Steve Martin from the building? It's every day with that guy." Christopher Lloyd rose up like an angel and dragged Steve away, kicking and screaming. "As I was saying. Anyone? Anyone at all?" Aster looked around but everyone was super uncomfortable with speaking it seemed. Marik decided to take it upon himself and stood up on his chair, lifting his arms high to the sky. "What's that Rod Guy doing?" Billy Crystal asked. Rod Stick opened his mouth hole wide and large and started to sing.
"This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore
On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know
So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know
I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go"
Alcoholics Anonymouse screamed their applause and stood up, just as expected that Roddy won over their hearts. He knew this was what he was born to do and that music was all powerful. The opposite of war isn't peace, it's creation like they always say.
"That was a beautiful rendition of our song" Nickelback said, and Marik's rod blushed. "Aw shucks fellas!" Rod Man yodeled and widened a little too! Boom! Crash! Out comes Linkin Park, and with them comes the alchohols. Oh no... "Guys, after what happened last time you can't come back here." Aster said. "Heh. You can't control me" Linkin Park took a swig of beer. Every mindslave in the room was sweating nervously, trembling with desire, and mostly just wanting Linkin Park to leave. Nickelback stood up, ready to take a stand for what they believe in. "Aster Pheonix said to leave." Nickelback said, crossing their arms and puffing out their chest. Rod sensed a brawl coming on... "Yeah? So?" Linkin Park scoffed at Nickelback, as usual being blatantly disrespectful. "Everyone, calm down!" Marik jumped out of his seat and rodded Linkin Park away with the powrs of the Mill. Rod. Phew! Everyone wiped their foreheads when they noticed every alchohol had left too. Their enemy had been defeated! Goodbye beer, hello a brand new day.