Finally! I'm back! Sorry for the wait but I am -drum roll please- grounded! I am highy restricted because I have a C in chemistry. I hate chemistry. Well, I love this story, and things had to be done. I don't own, thank you Lucas, and... IDK. Whatever, just read! And review!

Jacob found me with my head hidden in my arms and struggling to maintain composure. I didn't know why, but mine and Caleb's conversation gave me a strange urge to cry and hide forever. I wasn't sure exactly what translated wrong in my head, for it to send sad feelings to my heart; I thought I'd be happy to know that he didn't really like me, but I realized I was wrong. I had wanted him to like me. It would have meant that someone who hadn't had it ingrained in their head to fall in love with me actually saw me as more than 'that freak with the family'. I was disappointed that he didn't actually like me, and offended that all it took was one kiss for him to decide that little factoid.

More than offended. Shattered. I had an overwhelming sense of anxiety overtaking me, and I felt incredibly stupid and self centered. Too many conflicting emotions were buzzing through my head, so I couldn't even protest when Jacob wrapped his sweaty arms around me, thoroughly dampening me through my shirt, which he knew I hated.

"How much did you accomplish?" he teased, sitting on the bench backwards.

I let out a forced laugh at the irony. "A lot more than I'd thought I would."

"What do you mean?" he asked, confused.

I lifted my head up, showing him that I was smiling a sarcastic smile and had unshed tears in my eyes.

"What's wrong, baby?" he asked, reaching a hand out to cup my chin.

I laughed a little more, enjoying the feel of his hand and his choice of term of endearment. He hadn't used that one yet. "It's stupid."

"We need to head back to yours," he said, wrapping me up in his arms. I realized his chest was bare and shuddered a little. "You okay?"

"Great," I said, rubbing my cheek against his sternum, relishing the warmth and the hard, smooth muscle.

"And when we get there you can tell me this stupid thing that's bothering you," he said, releasing me and moving to gather my things up for me.

I pulled myself together, trying to put the situation into perspective. It was just one silly boy. Not the only one, though… Back to self-misery.

Jacob and I went to my house, where Mother offered to let him (okay, ordered him to) use the guest shower to rid himself of the smell of the school gym and his own BO. Afterwards, he came into my room, dressed in some clean clothes he'd left at my house from one of our sleepovers, hair wet, and smelling like Yardley soap and his own smell, minus the BO. I'd changed into a tank top instead of the blouse I'd been wearing, and was laying on my bed, half asleep, mind numb with a hint of guilt. He laid down next to me on his side, using one arm for a pillow and laying the other across my waist. I snuggled up to his chest, secretly wishing it was bare again. But alas, we'd probably upset certain people (*cough*brothers*cough*) if they found us snuggled together with him shirtless and me in a tank top.

"So are you gonna tell me what's wrong?" Jacob asked after a few minutes of just being close.

"Do I have to? It's so stupid," I mumbled, turning my head and body so as not to face him.

He just pressed himself closer to me, using his arm to pull my waist back so I was flush against him. "Well if it hurts you it's not stupid."

I sighed, giving into his warmth. "It just stung a little. It's not really a problem. Just a… Well it's something that hurt my feelings, I guess."

"You wanna tell me?" he murmured into my hair, shifting his leg a little to stroke the back of my calve with his knee. "You don't have to, if it's really all that stupid, but I'd like to know, so maybe I can hurt whatever hurt your feelings."

"I'd rather not." I wished that he would just let it go. All I really wanted was for him to hold me and let me know that I was desired by someone, at least. I rolled over and faced him, scooting myself up so our faces were even. One of my hands wound into his damp hair. "You know what I'd rather do?"

He smirked, splaying a hand out on my lower back. "I have a feeling you're going to show me."

I wrinkled my nose flirtatiously, then I fused my mouth to his, inhaling the essence that was Jacob. He kissed back softly while I did all the work, making him laugh a little when I went for his neck.

"What was that you were saying yesterday about no marks?" he said lightly, gently pressing my shoulder back.

"Well maybe I was getting payback," I said, a little breathlessly.

He smiled. "I can't believe I got you."

"I can't believe how many times we've said that to each other," I said, tucking my head into his chest. "But I agree."

He held me close for a few moments, then I -being bored of that particular activity- took initiative and rolled him onto his back, laying on his chest. "Hello there," he said, laughing a little.

"Hi," I said, smirking down at him. "You know what I wanna do?"

He smiled. "I have a feeling it'll either get us in trouble or get me in trouble with your brothers."

"You might be right about the second one," I said slowly. "But wouldn't it be funny if you actually won a fight with one of them?"

Jacob's expression twisted into a pained and humored expression. "I don't think that would happen, honey."

"Why not?" I asked, resting my forearms on either side of his head and letting my fingers tangle into his hair, pulling gently at the long ebony locks. "You're just as big as Jasper and Edward, almost bigger, and you might even end up bigger than Emmett."

"Yeah, when I'm twenty," he laughed, mimicking my actions in my hair. "I don't even think my voice is done developing.

I gave him one of my 'looks'.

"Hey, don't look at me like I'm crazy."

"One, you are crazy." When he opened his mouth to protest, I silences him with a firm but gentle kiss. "Two, you're a bass, don't even kid yourself. Three," my voice took a gentler tone, "my brothers love you. Why are you so scared of them?"

He got a sheepish look on his face. "I don't know. I just don't want to screw up my chances with you. I love you, Nessie. Don't you get it?"

My heart felt a million times lighter. "Jacob, the reason I was upset this afternoon was because I thought that no one saw me as more than a friend. I was worried that maybe you were just acting along to make me feel better, and when I wasn't broken anymore you would just dump me."

"What made you feel that way?" he asked incredulously. "Did I say something? Did I do something?"

"You didn't do anything, and it's not important what made me feel that way. What's important is that no matter what, you can make me feel a million times better, and I don't know why I ever doubt you. Never mind, I do, and it's not you I doubt; I don't think I deserve you, and that some day you're going to realize that."

Jacob gazed intensely into my eyes. "Renesmee Carlie Cullen, you are just…unbelievable. Do I have to tell you exactly why I love you?"

I bit my lip in thought. "It wouldn't hurt. Maybe that way we could get you the help you need if you seriously think I'm worth everything you say."

Jacob suddenly flipped us, so I was flat on my back and he was on his stomach next to me, on his side, propped up on his elbow with his head in his hand. "Okay, I'll give you a few. I love you because you're modest, you're loving, you're trusting, you're intelligent, you fight for what you believe in, you're talented, you don't let life get you down, you bring out the best in everyone, you-"

I silenced him with my fingers. "You haven't said one that was true yet."

"Do I have to make a petition and get people to agree? I can name twenty people off the top of my head that would agree with me, not related to you." I tried to protest, but he cut me off. "Don't fight with me."

I pouted. "You don't play fair."

"Telling you you're amazing isn't fair?" He laughed at my absurdity.

I rolled over with my back to him, pouting. "You only love me because you think you have to."

Jacob caught me by surprise, yanking my shoulder back and hovering over me, trapping me down. "You are the most insane, stubborn, unstable person I know. I may have had to love you from the beginning, but this love -me and you together- is something that you brought out of me. You have to trust that I love you." He brushed his lips over my cheeks and forehead, testing the waters to see if I'd accept them on my own, which I did.

After a somewhat unhealthy amount of staring into each others' eyes and making out like…well, like teenagers, Jacob went home. I played with Ollie for a little while, talking to him so no one could hear me.

"Am I a good auntie?" I asked softly, laying on my tummy in front of the baby, who was doing the same.

He looked up and let out a giggle, waving a slobbery fist.

"Is that a yes?"

He gurgled some baby babble, then put his fist back in his mouth.

"Do you love me? Am I lovable?"

He squealed delightedly and reached his fist to me, offering me a taste, I suppose.

"Well, this is getting us nowhere…" I kissed his forehead, then sat up, lifting him and pressing him to my chest. "I love you, baby boy. You're a good listener."

He nestled his head into the valley in the middle of my chest, his gurgling slowing as I bounced him a little, until finally his rhythmic breathing alerted me of his slumber. I suppose the bouncing lulled him to sleep, and my heartbeat may have helped. I stood up and walked downstairs to the living room, where Emmett was sitting.

"Hey, babe," he said, motioning for me to sit with him. "Have a good conversation with the month old wonder?"

I sat next to him, handing him his baby, then resting my head on his shoulder. "I guess. He loves the taste of fist and hair."

Emmett laughed. "My kid's a smart one. What's been bothering you so that you have to vent to a baby?"

"I wasn't venting," I huffed. "I was simply asking him a few questions."

"Because newborns are notorious for answering the deep, brooding questions that linger in the average teenager's mind."

I smiled a little. I was Emmett's first baby, per se, and I'd definitely taken after him. I was a mommy and daddy girl, but nothing beat my big brother. We'd clicked the second he saw me, or so our parents said. He was proud of himself for getting to hold me first, and at the ripe age of ten, it's a big deal. Apparently it was love at first sight, and the spit up to the shirt he'd taken manfully sealed the deal.

"You know, you ruined my favorite shirt," Emmett said suddenly.

I laughed a little. "Yeah, I know the story. I was thinking about that. I guess we've grown up, huh?"

"I guess so," he said, shifting a snoozing Ollie into one arm, wrapping the other around me. "You're spitting up habit went away."

"Nice, Em."

"You and Jacob are serious, aren't you?"

I sighed. "Yeah, we are."

"Please tell me you're not too serious, though. Like, not…Um…Rosie and me serious?"

I chuckled. "We're not that kind of serious, Emmett."

"Okay, good. I can't believe you're not a baby anymore. I can't believe I have a baby of my own. And if you do decide to be that kind of serious-"

"Emmett, please. Mom already had this talk with me, about seven years ago. Don't ruin our happy little brother-sister moment."

He chuckled. "Just making sure. I love you, babe."

"I love you, too, Emmett."

"Jacob loves you."

I looked up at him, confused.

"Ollie's a gossip." He grinned and nodded his head towards a baby monitor, switched on.

I laughed and kissed my still sleeping nephew's head, then my brother's cheek. "Night, Emmy."

"Night, Nessie."

As I laid in my bed, I thought about what my brother said, and what Jacob had said. They both said Jacob loved me, but was it as true as they made it sound?

You have to trust that I love you. Jacob had said that to me.

I rolled onto my side and curled up, a few tears escaping. I whispered into the darkness of the night my deepest shame. "I wish I could, Jacob...but I just can't…."

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