Hello everyone! I know it's been a while since I've updated but there's a lot that's been going on in my personal life that's kept me from writing. Hopefully I can get back to my self-goal of updating at least once a month.

I owe a big thanks to orchids117 my fantastic beta reader!

I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

Somebody told me once that pain is a game we all gotta' play.

Then why am I in overtime and sudden death every other day.

I know that for the good of life there's a price we all gotta' pay

But I'll pay till I'm poor and I still don't know what it is to have a good day, yeah

Since everybody knows what it is that I need to do.

Well do me a favor, let me worry 'bout me and you worry 'bout you.

I don't need no one to put me down,

I'm on the ground, can't get no lower.

Don't waste time feeling bad for me

I didn't ask you for your sympathy

No I know God is watching over me

So I guess this is where I'm supposed to be

-"I Can Do Bad All By Myself" Mary J Blige

Santa Barbara: 2019

"So the talk went well?" Maddie asked while leaning against the wall in the living room. Juliet turned around with a nod.

"I'm not going to lie, it's a bit…shocking to finally have that part of my life over with, but it's been coming for a while." Juliet smiled softly. Maddie bit her lip, and if Juliet hadn't been paying attention, she wouldn't have seen it. "What?"

"Would it really have been over? If Shawn hadn't come down, I mean. Would you and Declan still have broken up?"

Juliet paused momentarily. "I think eventually we would have. I don't know when, but yes."

Maddie accepted this answer and turned into the kitchen where Henry was looking through the case files. Juliet stood and followed.

Juliet sat down across from Henry, "Any news from Carlton?"

"Not yet." Henry sighed, rubbing his forehead. "I'm pretty sure he'd call you first anyways." Juliet reached into her pocket to fish out her ringing phone.

"Carlton?" she answered.

"See?" Henry rested back into the chair.

"Juliet, I need you to stay calm." Carlton's voice was steady and hard. The use of her first name told her something was wrong.

"Carlton, what is it?" Juliet shrugged as Henry looked at her questioningly.

"There was an accident on Leppa Road." She heard Carlton take a deep breath. "There were two occupants in the car. The driver was severally injured and the passenger in the back seat - a little girl - sustained a head injury and at least a few broken bones."

"Why do I need to be calm for this? It's a continuation of our case. I'll call Shawn and-"

Carlton interrupted her before she could finish. "Juliet, it was Spencer. He was the driver."

She could feel her heart stop.

Maddie walked over to her, "What's the matter?"

"Shawn and Zuri were in an accident…" Juliet handed the phone to Henry before he could snatch it from her.

"Where the hell are they?" he yelled at Carlton. Maddie put her hands on Juliet's shoulders.

"St. Michaels. I'm there now," Carlton said.

"We'll be there soon," Henry replied grabbing his keys from the counter and motioning to the women to move towards the door.

"Henry…" Carlton sighed. "It's bad."

"Is Zuri conscious?" Henry started the car once they were all seated and buckled in.

"Yes, but barely."

"Stay with her. Let her know we're coming but don't tell her anything about Shawn. She doesn't need to know." Henry hung up and tossed his phone into the console between the front seats. In seconds they were zooming down streets and around corners. Juliet sat huddled in the back with her arms wrapped around her shoulders. Not a word was said as they rushed to the hospital. Her head was fuzzy and full of pressure, this feeling of anguish seemed to only make a presence when Shawn was in some sort of danger- it really played with her stress levels.

"Maddie, go check on Zuri, I'll go see what's with Shawn and meet you to let you know what's happening," Henry spoke as calmly as he could while his knuckles turned white in his grip on the steering wheel.

"Juliet?" Henry looked at her from the review mirror.

"Huh?" she responded a few seconds later.

"You'll go with me?"

Juliet nodded and reached up to play with the chain around her neck. Soon they were parked in the lot and exited the vehicle. Despite their climbing ages, Maddie and Henry had no trouble running through the front doors with Juliet at their heels.

"There you are!" Francine stood by the elevator.

"Francine?" Juliet took a deep breath as relief spread through her veins at the familiar face.

"Carlton explained everything that is going on; he asked that I waited for you three down here," she explained while pressing the button.

"How's Buzz?" Maddie asked, grabbing Henry's hand.

"He's doing well." Francine allowed herself to smile. "He's awake and healing - eager to get back to work."

"That's wonderful." Maddie smiled dimly. Henry huffed as the elevator finally arrived with a ding. The doors opened and they all entered quickly.

"Five," Francine said. Henry pushed the button and they waited in silence as the elevator climbed its journey. Finally, the door opened and Henry exited first - beginning to walk down the hall before he realized he had no idea where he was going. He turned back around and headed back for the group.

"This way." Francine went left opposed to Henry's straight, and they walked down the white hall with nothing but the click of their shoes to break the silence.

"This is where I leave you; I have to get back to Buzz." Francine put a hand on Juliet's shoulder and motioned to Carlton, who stood down the hall on his phone.

"Thank you." Juliet smiled weakly.

"Keep me posted." Francine turned and walked away.

Carlton hung up as they approached him, "What's going on?"

"Spencer is in surgery. I talked to the paramedic. He wasn't conscious and he was covered in blood. He's definitely got a few broken ribs, some internal bleeding - but I don't know the extent." Carlton put his hands on his hips.

"I'm going to sit with Zuri," Maddie announced looking at Carlton for guidance to her room.

"I'll take you to her." Carlton turned on his heel and they disappeared down the hall.

Juliet waited until Carlton was out of sight before she sat down into one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs. She rested her elbows on her knees and buried her head in her hands. The room was slightly cold, but she felt nothing, even though she was dressed in a short sleeve shirt. Henry began to pace, and the seat next to Juliet was soon occupied by Carlton. No one said a word, and they waited in silence as the hands on the clock spun forward.

"They should be done by now." Henry glanced at the pair of double doors he assumed his son had been taken behind. "What's taking so long?"

"It was…a bad accident." Carlton sighed rubbing his face.

"He'll make it through." Juliet folded her hands. "He's strong."

"I've no doubt." Henry put his hands in his pockets and began to move towards the direction where Maddie had gone. "You coming?" Henry looked at Juliet.

"No, I'm going to stay here." Juliet pointed to the doors. Henry nodded and walked down the hall.

"If you and Spencer are getting back together and everything, you should probably get to know his daughter." Carlton stood up.

"I know Zuri, in a way; I just can't face her right now. If Shawn dies…" Juliet shook her head. "I'm just the woman who stole her father away the days before he died." Carlton didn't respond and let silence settle between them.

Salem Oregon: 2018

"Daddy?"

Shawn looked up from his laptop and placed the papers from his lap onto the desk.

"Zuri, you're supposed to be in bed." Shawn glanced at the clock. It read close to midnight.

"I woke up." Zuri rubbed her eye and gripped the doll in her arm. She walked over to her father and slowly climbed into his lap. Shawn wrapped his arm around her, and pulled her close.

"Was it a nightmare?" Shawn closed the laptop cover.

"No." Zuri yawned. "Daddy, do I have a mommy?"

Shawn sighed, and kissed the back of her head. He stood from the chair and said nothing as he carried her back to her room. Shawn placed her back into her bed and sat next to her.

"Yes, you do." Shawn tucked the blankets up against her.

"Where is she?" She traced every movement of his with her brown eyes.

"You probably don't understand now, but your biological mom and dad are in Africa…I think." Shawn paused and looked up at the ceiling.

"But you're my dad." Zuri furrowed her eyebrows.

"There's a difference between a real dad and a biological dad." Shawn rested next to her, "Your biological dad is the reason you were created. But I'm the one who is raising you." Shawn looked down at her.

"So you are my dad?" Zuri smiled.

"Yes baby, I'm your dad." Shawn kissed her forehead.

"Will I get a mom?" Zuri closed her eyes and gripped onto Shawn's arm.

"Maybe one day." Shawn waited a few minutes until he was sure Zuri was asleep before he moved out of the bed. He dimmed the hallway light and went back to his office to return to his work.

Santa Barbara: 2019

"Shawn Spencer's family? Anyone here for Shawn Spencer?" a female doctor asked walking out from the double doors that seemed to have been closed for eternity. Juliet stood up and frowned when Henry approached the nurse. She hadn't seen him come back…

"How is he? How's my son?" Henry folded his arms across his chest.

The doctor sighed. "Your son is very lucky." She looked down at the clipboard in her hands. "He has several broken bones; including his ribs, the radius and ulna of his right arm, and his femur. One of the broken ribs punctured a lung and we had to restart his breathing several times. An artery was nicked and caused detrimental internal bleeding. We got that under control."

"Is he going to be okay?" Juliet asked fingering her necklace.

"He has a skull fracture, most likely from the head on collision of the two cars." The doctor put down the clipboard and looked them all in the eyes.

"Skull fracture." Juliet took a deep breath.

"Is he okay? I mean his brain?" Henry leaned against the wall.

"We won't know until he wakes up - if he wakes up - he's in a coma. I need to go check on him and make sure he's doing alright in post-op." The doctor turned and disappeared behind the double doors. Henry looked down at his feet. He was still in shock from the news.

"I'm going to get his mother." Juliet said with a gulp as she rubbed her shoulders for warmth. She walked down the hall and knocked lightly on the door.

Maddie turned in her chair, "Juliet?"

"The doctor came out and told us about Shawn." Juliet looked at Zuri, and began to speak again once she was sure Zuri was asleep. "It's bad, Maddie. Broken bones, coma, skull fracture." Juliet shook her head.

"I'm going to find Henry." Maddie left the room quickly before Juliet could protest. Juliet took Maddie's seat and leaned her head against the back of the chair. She closed her eyes. Her head was still fuzzy and she felt like she could fall asleep if only the nauseous smell of hospital hadn't filled her nostrils. It was hard to believe that this was happening. They were finally here, finally together again, and he might be taken away.

Her head slowly began to lean to the side as the day's events took its tolls on her, or it would have, if Zuri hadn't spoke.

"Juliet?" The Julie part of her name was drawn out.

She opened her tired eyes to meet Zuri's. "Where's my dad?"

"He's with the doctor." Juliet sat up straight and pushed the hair out of her eyes.

"I saw the accident," Zuri continued trying to shift around her leg cast. "He was sleeping. I kept calling but he wouldn't wake up."

"Zuri, your dad was hurt. Really bad, but the doctors are going to make sure he's okay. He'll get better, just like you." Juliet offered a small smile to try and ease Zuri, and to her surprise it was returned.

"Can I see him?" Zuri titled her head to try and peer out the door while a small shiver racked her body.

"He's still with the doctors." Juliet stood up and approached the bed. She took the blanket from around Zuri's waist and tucked it under chin. "Are you still cold?"

"No." Zuri settled down into the bed. "Where's Milly?"

"Milly?" Juliet looked at her in confusion.

"Milly is my friend," Zuri explained.

"Milly is a stuffed mermaid." Henry held up the doll and entered the room. He handed the doll to Zuri who hugged it close. "Now you go to sleep."

"Okay Grandpa." Zuri rubbed her eye. "Goodnight, Juliet."

"Goodnight, Zuri." Juliet smiled.

"Come on." Henry placed a gentle hand on Juliet's back and led her out of the room. They walked silently back towards the waiting room, where Carlton and Maddie sat across from each other almost awkwardly. Juliet chose her seat next to Carlton, and looked at him expectedly.

He looked back at her, "What?"

"Any news on the case?" Juliet shrugged. "I need to keep my mind busy."

Carlton bent over and retrieved his briefcase from under the chair. He pulled out a manila folder and handed it to Juliet, who flipped through it. "Bonnie's recollection isn't much clearer than Shawn's." Juliet stopped at the final page and read through Bonnie's statement. It was almost perfectly matched to Shawn's, with just a few more details thrown in. However, neither Shawn nor Bonnie had gotten a visual on the Texan. Though Bonnie did remember seeing him dressed in green snake boots.

"Snake boots…" Juliet sat back into the chair.

"What?" Carlton frowned.

"I don't know, I just remember them from somewhere." Juliet sighed and handed the file to Henry. "I can't place where exactly."

"Try and remember," Maddie coached her. "Just close your eyes and try to remember where you saw them." Juliet nodded and did as she was told. "Try and picture your surroundings - the environment - including smells or sounds."

"Smell?" Carlton scrunched his nose.

"Shh detective." Maddie didn't turn to him. "Do you see anything Juliet?"

Juliet tried to focus on the vague memory of the boots, but found it hard to concentrate. She was entirely too focused on Shawn to be able to think about a single pair of boots she saw once. "I can't. I just can't." She threw her hands up in the air.

"It's alright." Maddie smiled dimly at her. "We can try again later."

"I think it was clean, though, if that helps." Juliet added looking at Carlton.

"What do you mean clean?" Carlton took the file back from Henry and put into his briefcase.

"The boots were very clean. I mean, it was easy to tell they were scaly and preserved." Juliet reached behind her head and put her hair in a ponytail.

"Shawn mentioned something about that Carter girl's mom being very clean. He thought it was weird. Could it have been there?" Henry looked at Juliet.

"I think it was." Juliet nodded. The squeaking of doors sounded before Carlton could speak again.

"You may see Mister Spencer now," the doctor from before told them with a smile on her face.

"Why are you smiling?" Henry asked.

"He's awake."