I want to give credit to one my followers for helping me – robspace54. I love his stories and admire his writing skills so when he gave me advice, I tried my best to follow it. He had trouble figuring out who was speaking and had to reread chapter 19 because I failed to structure my sentences correctly. I'm sorry if you also found it difficult. He advised me on how to make the next chapters easier to read and I greatly appreciate his help. His insight is very valuable to me and I want to certainly thank him for his help.

I took a little liberty with Martin's name. Hope nobody minds.

Chapter 21

Leslie and Louisa sat in stunned silence. How could things like that happen to a child? She trembled and choked back sobs as she walked to the loo and stood waiting for him to come out, forehead resting on the door. They could hear him retching and then the sound of water splashing. Leslie was more experienced in dealing with stories like this and better able to control his emotions. Concerned for Louisa and the effect her distress would have on Martin, he got up and silently offered her a glass of water.

When Martin came out of the loo, he was composed but completely colorless and walked by her without saying a word. He picked up the bin and went back to the loo to clean it. He came out again and didn't look at either of them. Just sat down, shoulders slumped and hands folded. Louisa went behind him, embraced his neck and kissed his cheek and the top of his head. "Martin, I'm so sorry that happened to you. You are such a wonderful person and you deserved better. I'm so sorry."

He grasped her hand and nodded.

Leslie had to clear his throat before he could speak "Martin, the first thing I want to say to you is that only a strong person with innate goodness and honor could survive a childhood like yours and grow into a decent human being. Do you still think you somehow deserved their abuse?"

Louisa moved to her chair, scooting it close to his and held his hand tightly between hers.

He looked up at Leslie and said emphatically "Not anymore. No child deserves that kind of treatment. No child – ever!"

"No Martin they don't. And I'm glad to hear you say that you bore no responsibility for your parent's actions. It's all on them. "

Martin nodded and weariness washed over him. "I want to stop now. Give us both time to think about this." And he stood up ready to leave.

Leslie stood and nodding his head yes, "I agree. This is a tremendous amount to analyze and think about. I have some theories but need time to develop them. You're exhausted. Go home and rest. Of course you're going to think about this and it's going to be very difficult for you. Is it possible that you're remembering through a child's eyes and thus may have exaggerated the experience? Think about that, too."

Passing a hand wearily over his forehead, Martin replied "All I can do is try. I'll see you Tuesday for my appointment. Thank you for making room for me today."

Leslie walked around his desk as he said "I was glad to do it. Louisa, it was a pleasure meeting you. You're welcome anytime." He walked them out and they said goodbye.

Louisa, tired herself, could only imagine how he must feel. "Martin, are you well enough to drive? Why not let me and you can relax. It's about an hour to Joan's so you could even take a nap."

He shook his head "I'm fine, really. Let's just go. I'm getting hungry."

She stopped walking and said "Me, too. Stop a moment please." He turned to face her with a questioning look. "I don't tell you enough how proud I am of you. Proud that you love me and are the father of my child. I love you, Martin James Ellingham, with all my heart." And in spite of their standing in a public parking lot, she stretched up and kissed him with all the tenderness that was in her to give. He nodded and, trying to speak, managed a grunt. They got in the car and left.

It wasn't long until they had a view of the sea and the sun was low on the horizon. It was glorious to look at and she said "I feel so fortunate to live where I live – the most beautiful place in England. The sunset will be wonderful."

He just nodded and stayed silent until they reached the farm. They entered the kitchen and it was an explosion for the senses. Baked herbed chicken, roasted potatoes, steamed broccoli and carrots and creamed turnips – all fresh from the farm.

"Come in, come in. Louisa, let me take your purse. And, Marty will you take off you jacket? No? Ok. It's just about ready and you've just enough time to wash up."

He had always helped her in the kitchen so it was natural for him to ask "Can't we help Auntie Joan?"

Louisa nodded and offered "Yes, can't we help? It smells heavenly!"

Joan bustled around laying the table and dishing up the food. "No, I've got it all under control. Just go wash up and we'll eat. I hope you're hungry."

Joan took one look at Martin and knew that he was exhausted and wanted to eat without a lot of talk. The chicken was cooked to perfection and seasoned with fresh herbs from her garden. The vegetables were crisp tender just the way he liked them and she used fat free sour cream in the creamed turnips instead of butter. And fresh fruit for afters.

Martin and Louisa cleaned up the kitchen and then Joan suggested taking their coffee to the veranda to enjoy the cool evening. The sun was setting and the sky turned from blue to shades of azure, lilac and pink. Then the stars started coming out, the moon was full and the night sounds were so familiar. Martin could remember evenings spent like this with Uncle Phil and Auntie Joan so many years ago. They bought a telescope and he and Uncle Phil would find the constellations and track their movements.

Louisa groaned and said "Oh crikey, I'm full! Joan, you and Martin are the best cooks in the village. Thank you for everything."

Joan's snort sounded so like the ones from Martin that Louisa thought there could be no doubt that they were both Ellinghams. "You don't need to thank me. I like to cook. How's my great nephew tonight?"

Louisa giggled a little and said "He moved today and Martin felt it. We went to a baby store and looked at furniture and, oh Joan! It's going to be so much fun to decorate the nursery. So many choices! I'm thinking of an alphabet theme. What do you think?"

"It sounds perfect since the Mom is a teacher. I hope you let me do something to help."

"Of course! Wait…he's moving." She stood in front of Joan and placed her hand on the spot. Joan held perfectly still for several seconds. She smiled broadly. " He's stopped. Oh my! A baby! But why are we saying 'he' instead of it?"

Louisa looked at Martin to see if he wanted to answer but he just shook his head and stayed silent. "Because I think it's a boy. I told Martin that it just feels like a boy but he thinks it's nonsense. It may be but I'm thinking of names for boys. We might have a girl named Rupert Jebediah!"

Joan laughed and offered Ebrert Snefrin as a choice. Louisa choked with laughter and said "How about Ignacius Gaggeldy Aberdeen?"

Martin entered the conversation with a "Humph! Not likely! I do have some ideas for both sexes but we have plenty of time to talk about them." He stood and pulled Joan into an embrace. "We're tired Auntie Joan. This has been very pleasant but we're going home. That is if Louisa is ready to go."

Louisa stood up, stretched and yawned hugely. "It's been lovely but I'm knackered. Let's go home."

Joan looked quizzically at him "So you're not going to tell me about today and your session?"

He shook his head "No. Maybe later but not now. Let's walk back and I'll wash the cups before we leave."

"Nonsense! I'll take care of the cups. You two go home and relax. Take care of my great-nephew and I'll probably see you tomorrow in the village."

She walked them to the car, hugged them both and watched as they drove away.

They had both showered, put on their pajamas and were sitting in the lounge. He was looking with unseeing eyes at the latest bmj. She filed her nails and gave him frequent glances. He shook his head in frustration and rubbed his hands over his eyes sighing heavily. Time for a change of subject. At least she could try. A pregnant woman strutting around doing a strip tease sounded funny instead of erotic. But a direct approach sounded good and it had worked before. She scooted over close to him and leaned her head on his shoulder. No response. She stroked his arm and still nothing. She switched to his torso, making little circles with her finger. Nope. Next running her hand up his thigh to very private territory. That worked! He turned to look at her. She narrowed her eyes and slowly licked her lips while her hand was busy lower down. "Can you guess what I have in mind, my handsome man? "

He took her hand and held it. "I don't think I… I'm just so tired. Maybe tomorrow night if that's ok with you. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry my love. I thought it would help you relax but it's ok. Like you said, tomorrow night. I'm tired, too, so I'll go up. Be sure to tell me good night even if I doze off." She kissed his cheek and went up to bed. This was the first time he had turned her down and she couldn't help but be hurt just a little. "For god's sake Louiser! Get a grip! He's been through hell and back today and your pride is hurt that he doesn't want to snog!" She got into bed, adjusted the covers several times, flopped down and tried to sleep. Of course, the harder she tried, the less she felt like sleeping. Her book was downstairs but there had to be something to read up here. She found bmj's on his nightstand. Oh well, better than nothing. She leafed through one and found nothing that she could even pretend to understand. Feeling even lower, she went back downstairs, peeked in on him and saw that he had dozed off. She quietly opened the front door and went out to sit on the stairs. The lights were twinkling in the houses and in the harbor. It was certainly a beautiful sight. She thought that it was a shame that Martin's sodding parents still had so much power over him. She started to get sleepy and decided in just a few more minutes, she would go in.

Mean while, Martin woke and went upstairs to go to bed. Where was she? Surely he didn't upset her enough that she would go back to her cottage! And without saying goodbye? Oh shit! She said it was ok! He hurriedly put clothes on over his pajamas, tried to ring her as he ran down the stairs and out the door. He almost fell over her, and as most people act when relieved, he started shouting. "What in god's name are you doing out here? I've looked everywhere for you! You couldn't take the time to just tell me what you planned on doing? Do you realize how worried I was?"

She stood up and, with hands on hips, faced him and shouted back at him. "You were asleep! I was just being considerate and it's not like I went on the cliff walk for heaven's sake! And what do you mean – you looked everywhere for me? Let's count - loo, kitchen, consulting room. That's a whopping three places! Tell me, how long did it take you? And don't you yell at me!"

He answered, still shouting "I'm not yelling! I certainly wouldn't leave you without saying where I was going!"

She tilted her head and said in her sweetest voice with more than a touch of sarcasm "Oh really? What about last night?"

That stopped his tirade and he sounded almost sulky when he replied. "Well, I was worried when I couldn't find you. You did say you were going to bed you know."

He had been through enough today and she really didn't mean to upset him so she immediately lowered her voice and explained "Yes, I did but I couldn't sleep. It's been an upsetting day and I really didn't mean to worry you. Are you ready for bed or would you like a cup of tea first?"

He held the door open for her and answered "Bed I think. I'm tired and I assumed you would be, too. You did say you were."

"Yes, I did and sitting out here has made me sleepy. Go on up and I'll lock the doors and then join you."

They were in bed and each turned toward their side of the bed, neither wanting to be the first to make a move. He couldn't take it anymore. He needed to feel her next to him. Nothing sexual about it, he just needed to touch her.

He whispered "Louisa?"

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry about earlier but it was a very…difficult afternoon."

"It's ok Martin. I was there you know." She turned toward him and snuggled against his warm back with her arm draped over his waist. "Now I can sleep! You feel so good. Love you."

He took her hand, slid it under his tee shirt and pressed it to his chest. "Thank you. Good night." To his surprise, he didn't dream. Just slept soundly until the next morning when the sea gulls woke him with their screeching.