*Spoilers for 5x24 and 6x01*
So, this chapter has been 90% complete for most of the summer, but I've been struggling with how to end it. Let's just say a little sneak peek today finally gave me some motivation to finish this :)
Enjoy! Oh, yeah, and if by chance you forgot... ONE MORE FREAKIN WEEEEEEEEEEEK!
May 13, 2020
She walked slowly over the grass, despite the way her heart urged her to go faster and break into a run, to join those handsome, smiling faces as soon as she could. She told herself to keep her stride even, to wait just a little bit longer and to savor this moment, because the sight before her was something to behold – and it always would be when it was at this very spot.
Their swings.
Even when it was painful, their moments here were beautiful and life-altering. The time she told him in so many words to wait for her just a little bit longer. The time she let the pounding rain, the gentle sway of the empty swing next to hers, and the recollection of their first conversation here push her into action, push her to him. The time she advanced towards his lonely form, sitting there on his swing, and wondered if they'd be able to fix the damage between them – only to have the tables turned on her when he got down on one knee and offered her a ring and a promise of a life together. Always.
She stopped in her tracks, twenty feet from those momentous swings. He'd offered her this life, right in front of her. This thrilling, exhausting, life-affirming, maddening world they'd pieced together and brought two little boys into. It hadn't been an easy road to this, not by a long shot, but had it been worth it? Her answer was an earnest, unequivocal yes.
Her eyes drank in the sight of her husband shifting between two swings, their swings, to push one boy high and then the other. Joey and Gage giggled and squealed and begged to go even higher.
"Underdog, Daddy!" Joey pleaded breathlessly. Kate watched Rick get ready, station himself behind Joey's swing and wait until the moment the boy was suspended weightlessly in the air before the swing changed direction. Then Castle grabbed Joey's waist and charged forward, ducking his head from kicking feet as he passed under Joey and propelled the boy up as high as he could manage. Joey shrieked with laughter on the way back down as Castle trotted a few steps forward and turned to loop back around to where he'd been before.
"Mommy!" Gage bellowed happily and it carried across the playground. Kate stirred, pulled from her thoughts, from her time as an outside observer to these three. She caught Castle's look – a mix of sheer joy that she'd arrived and relief at her timing, else he would have had to give Gage an underdog, too. He huffed a little, smiled, and tried to catch his breath, making her wonder just how long he'd been at this, entertaining their wild ones.
"Mommy!" Joey echoed with just as much jubilance as his brother and it drew her in, made her feel unworthy at how evidently prized she was in both of these boys' hearts. She'd never get over it, how they made her feel cherished and far more important than she was, even on the days when she felt like she was screwing them up and letting them down. She surged forward as gratitude washed over her. This was her life and it wasn't always pretty, certainly wasn't perfect, but she was damn glad to have it, to share it with the one person who saw the broken parts of her and loved her just the same.
"There are my guys." She called warmly to them. Gage kicked his feet wildly at her greeting, making her nervous that he might slip right out of the swing that made him look so tiny. They'd only just stopped putting him in those baby swings and he'd taken quite a few tumbles since then. But it was Joey that made her heart jump to her throat when she saw him lean forward and let go of the chains as his swing reached its peak.
"Mommy, watch me fly!"
She started running, even though her brain told she wouldn't make it to him in time. He flew through the air, arms outstretched to the fast approaching ground. He was leaning too far forward to land on his feet. His hands and knees absorbed most of the shock as he tumbled awkwardly into the grass. She was there at his side a second later, already responding to his fervent wails. She pulled him into her lap and checked his wrists first because from where she'd seen him fall, those little wrists could have easily been broken. "What hurts, Goof?" She asked, trying to get him to stop sobbing and catch his breath. She carefully eased his wrists back and forth, met no resistance from Joey. They were fine. She turned his hands over and brought one ruddy, grass-stained palm to her lips and kissed it gently, then repeated with the other. "You're ok, Babe."
She sent a look back to where Castle was. He'd slowed Gage's swing to a stop and plucked the boy off of it, carrying him over to Kate and Joey now.
"Is he alright?" Castle's voice was tight, his face lined with worry. Kate gave a curt nod to put him at ease.
"I think he's fine. Just a little banged up."
Joey was working to cut back from crying, struggling to catch his breath like Kate knew he would. He always cried too hard.
"Easy, Goof." She soothed, examining his knees next. A few bloody scrapes, but mostly caked with dirt. He would live. She hugged him close and wiped at his tears with one hand. "There you go." She encouraged him when his cries got quieter and controlled.
Suddenly, little hands were clutching at her shoulders from behind and knees were trying to scale her back. Oh, that monkey boy. Castle must have set him down. Joey peered over Kate's shoulder and scowled, sinking into Kate possessively because this was his time to be comforted by Mom. "Gage, hold on a minute." Castle spoke, noticing his youngest. There was laughter in his voice as he scooped Gage off of Kate and spun him in circles to keep Gage from fighting Castle's hold on him. Kate chuckled softly, running a hand through Joey's dark hair. He was fine, she could see, and starting to milk this moment for all it was worth, whimpering pitifully in her lap.
"Think you're up for swinging with me?" She regarded him.
He nodded slowly.
"Come on, Goofball." She hauled him to his feet and then stood, taking the dirty hand of her little showoff.
She started toward the swings, meeting up with Castle halfway. "Hey." She murmured with a smile, stopping to give him a kiss, now that Joey wasn't giving them a scare and stealing everyone's focus. But Castle had Gage thrown over one shoulder and the boy's kicking feet came dangerously close to getting Kate's face and Joey's hand tugged persistently on Kate's arm. That's how it always seemed to be with these boys, making Caste and Kate work for just a small moment between the two of them.
"Alright, alright." Kate huffed, going with Joey and throwing Castle an impatient look over her shoulder. He smirked, then jogged in a round-about path to the swings with Gage bouncing on his shoulder. Gage's belly laugh filled the park.
Kate sat on her swing first and pulled Joey into her lap. One arm wrapped snuggly around Joey's waist, anchoring him to her, and the other held onto the chain as her feet pushed away from the ground and set them at an easy pace. Joey leaned his head back against his mother and relaxed completely.
"Daddy, again!" She heard Gage beg, a dizzy smile plastered on his face.
"Maybe later. Daddy needs a break." Castle sighed, dropping into his swing with his youngest still riding on a rush of adrenaline. He maneuvered Gage to be sitting in his lap like Joey was in Kate's.
His hand extended into the space between their swings, fingers splayed and holding out for hers. She maneuvered one arm to wrap around both the chain and Joey so she could reach for his hand and lace her fingers through his. Their swings moved in sync together, led by the pull of their clasped hands.
They stayed like that for a while, the boys uncharacteristically calm and quiet – well, Joey uncharacteristically calm and quiet – while Kate and Rick gazed unabashedly at each other, letting so many unspoken words pass between them. Seven years. It had been seven years to the day since Castle's proposal here at the swings. Just a little over six years of marriage and five years of this wild ride of parenthood with Joey and Gage. Blessed. They were so unbelievably blessed.
"Kate?" Castle murmured as they ambled toward home later that day, two tired boys bickering between them. "Thanks for saying yes…"
Her face stretched into a stunning, genuine smile.
"…you know, after saying no and not not yes." He teased. "Ouch!" He rubbed the spot on his chest where she'd backhanded him.
"I never said no to the proposal." She stressed with a roll of her eyes.
"But you did say not not yes."
"Which is not a no!" She let out an exasperated laugh. "And do you really have to bring this up every single year so we can argue about it all over again?"
Something in his teasing expression turned tender. "Yes. Because I can. Because you said yes."
Thoughts?