(BPOV)
I wanted Edward. I felt like crying out to him like a child for her mother. I could feel my lower lip begin to quiver and bit down on it, careful not to draw blood. Less than a second passed and cool hands were holding mine. Though it was still shocking, I was grateful for vampire speed today.
Edward glanced only briefly at Alice and Esme before turning his eyes toward me. He pulled a chair close to the cot on which I was reclined. Gently, he cupped my face in his hands and lightly kissed my forehead.
For a moment I was more afraid of his actions than reassured, but when I saw him staring intently back at me I knew everything was okay. He was smiling and his happiness extended to his eyes.
Tears still lingered on the fringe of my lashes -threatening to fall, but Edward's hands remained holding my face and with his thumbs he brushed them away.
I couldn't ask any of the burning questions I had about what was going on for fear of breaking into a hysterical crying fit. I was trying desperately to keep my cool, but I was failing miserably. Instead I willed Edward to hear what was going through my head and to my relief, he nodded in acknowledgement of my questions.
"Bella," I cringed, waiting for the bad news, "there is absolutely nothing wrong with the baby."
My eyes flew open and I let out the breath that I'd been holding in a ragged sigh. I looked to Alice who nodded and smiled back at me weakly.
Esme pushed a few buttons and typed in something on the keyboard connected to the ultrasound monitor. I couldn't tell what she was doing, but it didn't matter. I wasn't totally convinced that the baby was okay.
"Edward, you would tell me if anything was wrong, wouldn't you? Please, please don't keep anything from me. No secrets, okay?" I didn't try to hide the desperation in my voice.
"No secrets. I promise."
"Even if you think that hiding the truth from me would spare me some emotional breakdown?"
Edward chuckled.
"Yes. Sweetheart, you are stronger than any person I know. Given what you've lived through in the short time that you've known me I can't imagine what would cause you to have any kind of breakdown."
I rolled my eyes at him and heaved a sigh.
"You know that's not true. I am just extremely well looked after and very lucky at surviving my bad luck."
The room filled with Alice and Esme's almost musical laughter. I laughed myself when I realized what a silly statement that had been.
Just then the door burst open, slamming into the wall. I jumped at the noise as a worried Jacob came striding into the room and straight toward me.
Edward gripped my hand for a brief moment and then moved aside before I could protest to allow Jacob to walk directly to where I still sat awkwardly on the cot with my bare belly smeared with jelly. He started to reach out a hand to touch my stomach but I stopped him by grabbing his outstretched hand with both of mine.
"Hi, Jake." A lame hello for the father of my child was all I could muster.
His eyes turned away from my bulging middle and when he looked at me I thought I saw a tear trace down his cheek. My heart sank as I realized that he was as lost as I was. It was hard to see him as a teenager now in the hard muscled body of a man, but his youth showed in his eyes in that moment.
"We'll give you some privacy," Edward said and the three Cullens turned to leave. I saw Jake inconspicuously wipe his hand across his face from the corner of my eye.
"Wait. You can stay."
I was shocked at Jacob's response.
"Gladly," Edward answered. "I just assumed you wanted a private moment with Bella."
"I did, but I changed my mind. I think it's right for you to be here. She needs you."
Jake easily pulled his hand from mine and stepped back to allow Edward to occupy his spot by my bed.
"So, what did you see on the monitor that caused such a stir?" Jacob directed this question to Alice. He craned his neck to look around Alice at the monitor himself. She smiled at him, but looked to Edward as if to ask his approval to tell Jacob.
Edward inclined his head toward me and Alice nodded.
"Bella, do you want to know the sex of the baby?" Her smile was blinding. I could tell that she was dying to tell me.
Without a second thought I came to a decision but then another thought struck me. I turned to face Jacob.
"Jake?"
He turned back to me grinning sheepishly and I wondered what that was about. Suddenly his spirits seemed much higher than just minutes ago. I had other more pressing things to think about so I asked the question anyway.
"Do you want to know?" I hoped he answered the way I wanted him to.
"Um…well," he muttered, still grinning. I was confused about the sudden turn of his emotions. I felt like I was the recipient of another surprise birthday party. I was sure by now that I didn't like surprises.
"What?" I tried to disguise the irritation in my voice, but I knew it really didn't matter to any of them. I think it amused Jacob to keep me in the dark about things. I easily and often jumped to the wrong conclusions.
"Do you want to know what the baby is? I mean, it doesn't matter to me, but I want you to know if…well, if you want to."
"Well, I kind of already know," Jake said through a smile, but ducked his head almost as if he was ashamed.
"What? How can you know?" I was shocked, but disbelieving. Had he developed some sort of extra sense that I didn't have? Was he just guessing? No one had mentioned the sex yet, so how could he know?
Jake muttered something that I didn't catch and Edward scoffed.
"What?" Jake asked, looking slightly embarrassed and irritated.
"Health class? Seriously? You think an advanced health class qualifies you to determine the sex of a fetus as shown on an ultrasound screen?" Edward shook his head and snickered.
Jacob glared at Edward and his flushed cheeks glowed red from what seemed to be an angry reaction rather than an embarrassed one. Determined to stop a fight before it started, I slid quickly off the side of the cot. Their locked gazes kept either of them from grabbing me before my feet touched the floor.
They stood closer to one another than I was comfortable with and I wedged myself between them, pushing a hand into the strong chests on either side of me. Although with the difference in our height I was touching closer to Jake's waist than his chest. I blushed when I turned toward him and realized this.
Esme came to my rescue when she placed a hand on Jacob's forearm. He jerked away at her cold touch, but his face softened when Esme smiled at him.
"Tell us what you meant, Jacob. I'm anxious to know what you learned at school that would allow you to read the sonogram."
Esme sounded so sincere that Jake hardly glanced sideways at Edward. He stepped closer to me as he began to speak to Esme. His embarrassment seemed to fade as his hand brushed against mine and he didn't flinch the way he normally did now that things were so difficult for us.
It was almost nice to imagine that things between us had never changed and he was still my best friend and confidant.
It struck me then that Edward could hear my every thought and I looked around to see his expression.
Sorry. I pushed the thought toward him.
He edged closer to me, ignoring Jake now, and his arm snaked around my waist.
"No need to apologize for what you feel in your heart," he whispered. "It doesn't bother me –the way you feel."
I blushed and pressed myself against him. I didn't deserve his love, but I knew I'd die without it.
To Edward I thought loud and clear: You know that I think of him as my dearest friend, right? There's nothing else there. Yes, he is the father of this baby, but I would change that if I could.
The kiss he gave me then was full on the lips. He didn't bother to hold back the way he normally did. I became so suddenly and ferociously aroused that I almost forgot that there were other people present. Jacob cleared his throat and the world came back into focus.
The few seconds that it took to clear my head made all the difference in the world. I knew with all my heart that I belonged just where I was –in Edward Cullen's arms. It didn't matter what either of us had done in the past. In the here and now we were right for one another. He was my world. I loved him so much that he had been seared onto my very soul. There was no escaping my destiny and Edward was my destiny.
Though I hated turning my attention from Edward, I really was anxious to find out if the baby was really healthy and if I was having a boy or a girl. I was also extremely curious about how Jacob could know already. Was he just guessing or did he somehow sense it? As I tuned in to Jake and Esme's conversation they turned to face the rest of us and include us in their discussion.
Apparently Jake had been attending school more frequently now that the Victoria threat was past. He'd also picked up some college entry classes that were pretty advanced. I was impressed as he told Esme that he hoped to go to college someday and maybe major in sports medicine.
I jabbed my elbow, stupidly again, into Edward's ribs as he made a comment under his breath about Jake maybe minoring in veterinary medicine.
Jake said that he'd been studying a wide variety of subjects related to the health care field and reading sonograms, x-rays and other scans just seemed easier to him than others when they had covered that in class. He'd even been on a sort of field trip to an orthopedic surgeon's office.
"But honestly, I just figured most of it out because of Quil," Jake snorted.
"And how is that?" Esme asked, amused.
"Well, I'm sure Bella has told you about his imprinting on Claire. Seems like he put together a scrapbook of her life and his leading up to the point that he first saw her." Jake shook his head.
"Well, he include everything and I do mean everything in that scrapbook, which he of course had to show to everyone he ever met," he scoffed.
"He even put copies of Claire's ultrasound pictures in there. It wasn't really all that clear to Quil what was what in them, but I could see things pretty clearly. Like one of those magic picture things you know? The ones that have a picture hidden in them, but you have to know where to look and you really have to focus on them? That's what it looked like to me."
I wondered how I'd missed all of this, but realized quickly that maybe Jacob had not missed my friendship the way I had missed his. It hurt to think that my friend had moved forward in life without me, but it was good to know that he wasn't dwelling on our dying relationship the way I was. Why should we both be suffering every single day?
I knew he missed me too, but I was almost glad to know that he was moving past the idea of us becoming more than friends. Father of my child or not, I could never love anyone the way I loved Edward.
"Anyway, I already know. You should tell Bella." Jacob directed this to no one in particular. I knew this must be hard for him and Edward felt it too.
Edward actually smile at Jacob and when he spoke I knew I would never get used to his generosity.
"No. I think this is something you should tell her. Bella, I think Jake wants to be alone with you for a moment. Do you mind? I'll just be on the other side of the door."
"Yes," I answered too quickly and wondered why I was suddenly so comfortable about being alone with Jake. The excitement of the day's adventure must have been taking its toll on my sanity. Briefly I thought I saw shock in Jake's eyes like he was surprised that I'd let Edward out of my sight while we were alone.
Before I could look back at Edward he was gone as well as Esme and Alice. I turned to Jake as he took my hand. He lifted me easily back up onto the cot and settled himself beside me.
Jacob turned a little sideways and looked me directly in the eye. When he spoke I saw a twinkle in his eye that I hadn't seen in quite some time. It made me smile despite myself.
"So, are you ready for this? You want me to tell you what the baby is?"
I nodded. I couldn't do much else. Everything seemed so surreal again. I felt like I was on the outside looking in on someone else's private moment.
"We're having a boy."